Russian, Ukrainian & FSU Information & Manosphere Discussion Forums
Dating & Marriage With Women From Russia, Ukraine, Belarus & FSU => Dating in the FSU and Other Countries => Topic started by: justadude on December 16, 2016, 08:26:49 PM
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum, and not a lot of interest in sharing helpful information. I belong to a lot of automotive forums and I see that a lot, so I guess I should be used to it. Oh, well, here goes.
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's. 2 years ago I met a FSU princess, with a green card, in a grocery store in Arizona. We got into a relationship and were together for over a year, including living with me for 6 months. She was just a little over half my age when we met. I also dated a 2nd generation Eastern European girl for 6 years while in my teens/early 20s, and had another brief relationship with an immigrant FSU girl a couple years after my divorce. Needles to say, I'm a fan.
So a few months ago I decided to take a trip. I didn't know where but eventually settled on a city in Ukraine away from the Eastern region. I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
I am trying to keep my expectations for this trip low/realistic. If I meet someone, great, but if I don't, I got to see a part of the world I haven't seen before. Having said that, I have been talking to a few girls online, one in particular that I really like. I am pretty convinced they are all real. I think I'm pretty good at identifying scammers. Having said that, I'm a fan of meeting women at first in person. I guess the working theory is that being an American is attractive. And I've also seen that idea mocked "wave around your American passport". After reading differing opinions and talking to people both here and there, my conclusion is that it is an advantage.
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
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Try Mamba.ru
Ask a bunch to meet you for coffee. Some won't reply but some will.
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What city are you going to in Eastern Ukraine?
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What city are you going to in Eastern Ukraine?
Someone cannot read... :Zzzzsleep:
The OP stated that he will visit a city AWAY from E Ukraine... :chuckle:
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum, and not a lot of interest in sharing helpful information. I belong to a lot of automotive forums and I see that a lot, so I guess I should be used to it. Oh, well, here goes.
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's. 2 years ago I met a FSU princess, with a green card, in a grocery store in Arizona. We got into a relationship and were together for over a year, including living with me for 6 months. She was just a little over half my age when we met. I also dated a 2nd generation Eastern European girl for 6 years while in my teens/early 20s, and had another brief relationship with an immigrant FSU girl a couple years after my divorce. Needles to say, I'm a fan.
So a few months ago I decided to take a trip. I didn't know where but eventually settled on a city in Ukraine away from the Eastern region. I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
I am trying to keep my expectations for this trip low/realistic. If I meet someone, great, but if I don't, I got to see a part of the world I haven't seen before. Having said that, I have been talking to a few girls online, one in particular that I really like. I am pretty convinced they are all real. I think I'm pretty good at identifying scammers. Having said that, I'm a fan of meeting women at first in person. I guess the working theory is that being an American is attractive. And I've also seen that idea mocked "wave around your American passport". After reading differing opinions and talking to people both here and there, my conclusion is that it is an advantage.
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
Go for it, and good luck...
Suggest that you find a "Dance Café/Restaurant, should be teaming with ladies, and just be yourself... :loving:
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum, and not a lot of interest in sharing helpful information. I belong to a lot of automotive forums and I see that a lot, so I guess I should be used to it. Oh, well, here goes.
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's. 2 years ago I met a FSU princess, with a green card, in a grocery store in Arizona. We got into a relationship and were together for over a year, including living with me for 6 months. She was just a little over half my age when we met. I also dated a 2nd generation Eastern European girl for 6 years while in my teens/early 20s, and had another brief relationship with an immigrant FSU girl a couple years after my divorce. Needles to say, I'm a fan.
So a few months ago I decided to take a trip. I didn't know where but eventually settled on a city in Ukraine away from the Eastern region. I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
I am trying to keep my expectations for this trip low/realistic. If I meet someone, great, but if I don't, I got to see a part of the world I haven't seen before. Having said that, I have been talking to a few girls online, one in particular that I really like. I am pretty convinced they are all real. I think I'm pretty good at identifying scammers. Having said that, I'm a fan of meeting women at first in person. I guess the working theory is that being an American is attractive. And I've also seen that idea mocked "wave around your American passport". After reading differing opinions and talking to people both here and there, my conclusion is that it is an advantage.
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
Waving your American passport alone does not work anymore.
Additionally, few women in the FSU would consider a 20 year age gap. If you take a look at the dating sites, the preferred age gaps are shrinking.
I have been to 20 European countries, and I think Europe is the most beautiful continent, so enjoy.
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum,
You think ? ;) Anyone going to Ukraine to look for a women will be told by some that it is 'full of scammers' - when the reality is they just get to see more 'sex tourists' and no-hopers - thinking that waving a western passport is going to attract the ladies.
If it's your first trip - it's a good place to start.
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's. 2 years ago I met a FSU princess, with a green card, in a grocery store in Arizona. We got into a relationship and were together for over a year, including living with me for 6 months. She was just a little over half my age when we met. I also dated a 2nd generation Eastern European girl for 6 years while in my teens/early 20s, and had another brief relationship with an immigrant FSU girl a couple years after my divorce. Needles to say, I'm a fan.
So a few months ago I decided to take a trip. I didn't know where but eventually settled on a city in Ukraine away from the Eastern region. I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
I am trying to keep my expectations for this trip low/realistic. If I meet someone, great, but if I don't, I got to see a part of the world I haven't seen before. Having said that, I have been talking to a few girls online, one in particular that I really like. I am pretty convinced they are all real. I think I'm pretty good at identifying scammers. Having said that, I'm a fan of meeting women at first in person. I guess the working theory is that being an American is attractive. And I've also seen that idea mocked "wave around your American passport". After reading differing opinions and talking to people both here and there, my conclusion is that it is an advantage.
An advantage - if you come across as 'different' - as in a more interesting alternative to the local guys..
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
Now you lost me.. Why is it guys think someone who could be their daughter ( late twenties) will be interested ? There are plenty of women in their late thirties and forties who retain many of the ( former Soviet Union) values that make them so different and are quite stunning.
It is a shame your trip will be at a time when it will be cold .. A walk in the spring / summer and a newbie might need to visit a 'bone cruncher' to get their cricked necks seen to.
Good luck and my observation about the age gap was not meant in a nasty way .. just common sense.
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum, and not a lot of interest in sharing helpful information. I belong to a lot of automotive forums and I see that a lot, so I guess I should be used to it. Oh, well, here goes.
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's. 2 years ago I met a FSU princess, with a green card, in a grocery store in Arizona. We got into a relationship and were together for over a year, including living with me for 6 months. She was just a little over half my age when we met. I also dated a 2nd generation Eastern European girl for 6 years while in my teens/early 20s, and had another brief relationship with an immigrant FSU girl a couple years after my divorce. Needles to say, I'm a fan.
So a few months ago I decided to take a trip. I didn't know where but eventually settled on a city in Ukraine away from the Eastern region. I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
I am trying to keep my expectations for this trip low/realistic. If I meet someone, great, but if I don't, I got to see a part of the world I haven't seen before. Having said that, I have been talking to a few girls online, one in particular that I really like. I am pretty convinced they are all real. I think I'm pretty good at identifying scammers. Having said that, I'm a fan of meeting women at first in person. I guess the working theory is that being an American is attractive. And I've also seen that idea mocked "wave around your American passport". After reading differing opinions and talking to people both here and there, my conclusion is that it is an advantage.
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
Welcome to RUA.
You unfortunately suffer from a condition that not fully defined but is both mental and physical. Slavic women spread it with a wave of there hand or a peck on the cheek.
SORRY THERE IS NO CURE!
There are only two ways to mitigate its effects this 'disease'. Some of the ones who help you go by the name Olga, others Svetlana, Yulia and Daria also can provide help to symptoms. I would suggest being yourself and having a fair dose of humour in all things, it helps when over there. As noted upthread an American passport does not help nor a thick wad of Benji's unless you want a temporary solution. While dressing smartly helps most Italian fashion does not fit an American well. You will need to return and be patient to find some one to help your condition, but other before have done it.
You can meet creatures who can help you almost anywhere, but one general observation when they are working it is harder to distract them. So I would avoid when you cross the border hitting up on at the airport Nikitia. I would also avoid getting locked in your lodging by a female.
I would try to meet Slavic females in public area's, taking the underground or near shopping area's (ask for directions). I seen a few attractive females working in museums, but abroad they do appear in masses.
In the end be your self and go with the flow. If you have a special area of knowledge use that to your advantage. Lets say you play chess go to the local chess club. You are good at martial sports, find the center that has these activities. You are a specialist on antique radio transistors . . . sorry not sure what will help you getting plugged in.
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In your late 40s, you say! Looking for women in their late 20s to early 30s you say!
That's a 20 year age gap. Why?
Give yourself a dose of realism and better your chances at meeting someone more in tune with yourself. While generational age gap marriages can work the odds are stacked against you. Successful ones are few in number.
Enjoy your trip. Be prepared for a massive culture shock. Oh, and don't wave that blue passport around.
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Pulling a late 20's, early 30's woman is possible but there are down sides. The days when many women would generally accept a guy 15 - 20 years older are long gone. The dating agency hype is just that - hype. The guys who can pull a much younger woman nowadays are both good looking and affluent. Unless you want to start another family in your 50's stay clear of younger childless women. Nearly ALL younger Slavic women want a family.
Mid thirties with a single child is perhaps your best option. Women in this situation are way down the marriage scale in FSU. Emigration is easier with younger children (well most of the time). It is easier to form a step father bond with a young child, with a teenager you should aim to become a good friend.
How do I know all this? I have been married to a Russian woman who is 20 years younger than me for more then a dozen years. We have two children. Good luck and enjoy your trip.
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum, and not a lot of interest in sharing helpful information. I belong to a lot of automotive forums and I see that a lot, so I guess I should be used to it. Oh, well, here goes.
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's. 2 years ago I met a FSU princess, with a green card, in a grocery store in Arizona. We got into a relationship and were together for over a year, including living with me for 6 months. She was just a little over half my age when we met. I also dated a 2nd generation Eastern European girl for 6 years while in my teens/early 20s, and had another brief relationship with an immigrant FSU girl a couple years after my divorce. Needles to say, I'm a fan.
So a few months ago I decided to take a trip. I didn't know where but eventually settled on a city in Ukraine away from the Eastern region. I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
I am trying to keep my expectations for this trip low/realistic. If I meet someone, great, but if I don't, I got to see a part of the world I haven't seen before. Having said that, I have been talking to a few girls online, one in particular that I really like. I am pretty convinced they are all real. I think I'm pretty good at identifying scammers. Having said that, I'm a fan of meeting women at first in person. I guess the working theory is that being an American is attractive. And I've also seen that idea mocked "wave around your American passport". After reading differing opinions and talking to people both here and there, my conclusion is that it is an advantage.
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
Welcome to RUA.
You unfortunately suffer from a condition that not fully defined but is both mental and physical. Slavic women spread it with a wave of there hand or a peck on the cheek.
SORRY THERE IS NO CURE!
There are only two ways to mitigate its effects this 'disease'. Some of the ones who help you go by the name Olga, others Svetlana, Yulia and Daria also can provide help to symptoms. I would suggest being yourself and having a fair dose of humour in all things, it helps when over there. As noted upthread an American passport does not help nor a thick wad of Benji's unless you want a temporary solution. While dressing smartly helps most Italian fashion does not fit an American well. You will need to return and be patient to find some one to help your condition, but other before have done it.
You can meet creatures who can help you almost anywhere, but one general observation when they are working it is harder to distract them. So I would avoid when you cross the border hitting up on at the airport Nikitia. I would also avoid getting locked in your lodging by a female.
I would try to meet Slavic females in public area's, taking the underground or near shopping area's (ask for directions). I seen a few attractive females working in museums, but abroad they do appear in masses.
In the end be your self and go with the flow. If you have a special area of knowledge use that to your advantage. Lets say you play chess go to the local chess club. You are good at martial sports, find the center that has these activities. You are a specialist on antique radio transistors . . . sorry not sure what will help you getting plugged in.
Nikita is a boys name, even before Elton went gay...
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You defiantly need to leave your passport at the hotel.. And for sure wear something a young 40 year old should be wearing and not some US hillbilly outfit.. :laugh:
As previously stated best just find a few dance cafes/bars and go with the flow..Have some Dutch courage and get amongst it. Its very easy to go to any place in Eastern Europe and pick up a young women..unfortunately your very unlikely to be taking any home unless your lucky most are happy with their lives but only to happy to chat to a foreigner out of interest..
Also going to Ukraine and going with the flow and NOT planning to meet any of the usual lot your much less likely to be scammed..
:party0011:
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I am a bit hesitant to post, as it seems like there is a lot of flaming on this forum, and not a lot of interest in sharing helpful information. I belong to a lot of automotive forums and I see that a lot, so I guess I should be used to it. Oh, well, here goes.
When you date FSUW you need a thick skin. Here at the forum you will need the
same. You are relatively anonymous so don't worry. You didn't say you wanted
to bugger 16 year olds or virgins (enough guys have came looking for a
combination of those).
I am a divorced guy from Arizona in his late 40's.
You are pushing the envelope a bit on age. Use normal non photoshopped
photos for your Mamba profile and you will need to write a lot more women.
The more you push the envelope the more girls with questionable motives
you will attract. You have to have an excellent head on your shoulders and
if you have to be able to reject hot women for any character flaw.
You can compromise on looks, age, etc but never on character.
I have my plane ticket and hotel booked.
Get an apartment and forget the hotel. This is in hunting fsuw 101 first
class of the semester.
My questions: Where are the best places to meet women in their late 20's/early 30's? I'm honestly not much of a party guy. Coffee shops? Girls working in retail? Banks? How will they know I'm American? By the way I dress? I'm not really a flashy dresser but my ex is going to go shopping with me to help me pick out some clothes.
Oh, well, I'm open to ideas. I hope I come across that way.
IMHO you will need to write at least 200 women and ask them for coffee.
Don't worry, with your age criteria 200 won't accept.
Let's say 10 accept, you meet them and reject any of them who have character
flaws or you don't have chemistry with. Rinse and repeat until you find a keeper.
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Dude,
While I have no idea which city you plan to visit and stay in, this 'adventure' will most likely take more than one visit.
A 20 year age gap in my opinion is not a good idea.
As has been pointed out, you are going in the time of year called winter. It can be cold, I have seen minus 20 in Zhytomyr, think Timberland boots and a Patagonia three in one Parka. On a local market you can buy the felt boot liners they are amazing.
While it can be fun to unpack a local, something like one of those dolls, you need to define your goals. If you go the way Steve suggests they are are already more or less unpacked.
I must say your approach is refreshing instead of endless discussion and planning just go and figure it out. We (RUA) will look forward to the updates.
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What city are you going to in Eastern Ukraine?
Someone cannot read... :Zzzzsleep:
The OP stated that he will visit a city AWAY from E Ukraine... :chuckle:
Too bad, He is more likely to find a woman that will accept a twenty year age gap are in eastern Ukraine. If I were looking again that is where I would go.
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What city are you going to in Eastern Ukraine?
Someone cannot read... :Zzzzsleep:
The OP stated that he will visit a city AWAY from E Ukraine... :chuckle:
Too bad, He is more likely to find a woman that will accept a twenty year age gap are in eastern Ukraine. If I were looking again that is where I would go.
And a far higher chance of getting screwed in the future... You forgot to mention this point.. :coffeeread:
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What city are you going to in Eastern Ukraine?
Someone cannot read... :Zzzzsleep:
The OP stated that he will visit a city AWAY from E Ukraine... :chuckle:
Too bad, He is more likely to find a woman that will accept a twenty year age gap are in eastern Ukraine. If I were looking again that is where I would go.
And a far higher chance of getting screwed in the future... You forgot to mention this point.. :coffeeread:
Yea you can not get screwed if you do not find any body.
No matter what country or where you go including USA women you can get royal screwed. Buyer must beware. There are some really great women in Eastern Ukraine that will make a excellent mate that very well might love him. Like everywhere else there are some that have emotional problems who will take advantage of you if you do not watch what you are doing. International dating does not work for everybody. The women in Eastern Ukraine are just single women everywhere else in the world. Some are really great and some are a real problem. I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
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I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
Yet a six year old topic disagrees (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,11208.0.html). Not to mention generally accepted knowledge.
All this 20 year age gap, Americans having more "value" and similar nonsense is all very 1991. Quite nostalgic really. :rolleye0009:
I suspect the OP will hit reality with a bump when there.
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I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
Yet a six year old topic disagrees (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,11208.0.html). Not to mention generally accepted knowledge.
All this 20 year age gap, Americans having more "value" and similar nonsense is all very 1991. Quite nostalgic really. :rolleye0009:
I suspect the OP will hit reality with a bump when there.
Any one who has been to Odessa will understand why guys keep going .. The percentage of women of an exotic mix of many races....ancient European and some Asian - is higher...
The ladies there are just more used to western men ,,,,
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The ladies there are just more used to western men ,,,,
That's one way of putting it. :whist11:
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Thank you for the help! I can see I have made a couple mistakes so far, as I did let a woman help me with my hotel. I told her the one I had chosen. She said it was nice but the area wasn't great. I asked her for a suggested list and chose one off that list. I have plans to meet about 7 so far, aged 28-36. I guess I don't really see how I can get scammed by meeting in person. Unless of course the meeting place is down a dark alley! :)
Sorry but I've been intentionally vague about some details. But if there are any ex pats there maybe PM me. I'd love to grab a beer with someone who knows what's up if I'm in their area and it works out.
I grabbed a few American gifts to give away. Any suggestions along those lines?
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Without giving more specific information, the advice will be somewhat generic, and may not be as helpful to the cause.
Scams and or unpleasant experiences can take place anytime,and come in many forms.
If you are new to this endeavor, ask many questions, and then use the advice you feel will work best.
Having a plan B to fall back on is always a wise move.
The age range you have chosen seems reasonable, try to arrange meetings in a place of your choosing, to avoid a possible expensive lesson.
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I have some advice as you are dating more than one woman:
- Do not waste time on poor prospects! Most newbies make this mistake.
If the first date is a "no chemistry" event then there is no second date. Next.
If you fancy the woman but she shows no interest - Next.
Always choose the venue. Tom Cat is right about that.
If you are "taken shopping" don't buy anything unless your into paying for a woman's favors.
Finally Have fun ;D
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I have some advice as you are dating more than one woman:
- Do not waste time on poor prospects! Most newbies make this mistake.
If the first date is a "no chemistry" event then there is no second date. Next.
If you fancy the woman but she shows no interest - Next.
Always choose the venue. Tom Cat is right about that.
If you are "taken shopping" don't buy anything unless your into paying for a woman's favors.
Finally Have fun ;D
OK great. Once again, very helpful!
I have a couple questions. The girl that I am most interested in, during an audio phone conversation, wanted to make sure my divorce was final. She said this was necessary for a K-1 visa. I didn't know what that was but googled it since then. And, I have been able to talk to a couple American friends who have married Asian and South American women.
The following is going to make me sound delusional, and I agree I might be. But I think I am a bit more pragmatic about my delusional tendencies than some guys :)
My understanding is that there needs to be proof of a meeting, and that a photograph of the couple will suffice. Any advice along these lines? If I meet one or more woman who is interested in that sort of thing, I don't suppose there is much harm in taking a couple of selfies, or "ussies", is there? What other sort of proof of the meeting is needed?
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You might want to bring along your divorce papers. Have them translated with all the official seals and stamps. The notaries there do some interesting things with wax and strings. Also it wouldn't hurt to pose for the photos holding up an English language newspaper with a headline that will pinpoint the date of your meeting.
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I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
Yet a six year old topic disagrees (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,11208.0.html). Not to mention generally accepted knowledge.
All this 20 year age gap, Americans having more "value" and similar nonsense is all very 1991. Quite nostalgic really. :rolleye0009:
I suspect the OP will hit reality with a bump when there.
True, the Septics have lost their allure in the generally now more educated world, more so now they've elected a total muppet as President.....
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From the limited information you have supplied, I have a few concerns.
I'm getting the impression you might have been in contact with these women through a dating site. If so you might be in for a rude awakening.
My question for you is how well do the women you will be meeting understand English?
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OK great. Once again, very helpful!
I have a couple questions. The girl that I am most interested in, during an audio phone conversation, wanted to make sure my divorce was final. She said this was necessary for a K-1 visa. I didn't know what that was but googled it since then. And, I have been able to talk to a couple American friends who have married Asian and South American women.
The following is going to make me sound delusional, and I agree I might be. But I think I am a bit more pragmatic about my delusional tendencies than some guys :)
My understanding is that there needs to be proof of a meeting, and that a photograph of the couple will suffice. Any advice along these lines? If I meet one or more woman who is interested in that sort of thing, I don't suppose there is much harm in taking a couple of selfies, or "ussies", is there? What other sort of proof of the meeting is needed?
Do not try to be a one trip wonder! You will end up penning a sorry story in the "Train Wreck Room" :ROFL:
Take your divorce papers along if you like. Maybe the lady needs reassurance that you are a genuine guy. Of course you take photos. Everyone takes photos when they go on holiday.
However talking about a K1 Visa before you have met in person might be a bad sign. Take your time. Establish a real relationship. Be prepared to make at least 3 trips before you make any big decisions. My fifteen year involvement with these forums has taught me that calamities happen to those that rush...
I know the guys here would like you to write a trip report when you return. Best of luck!
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Don't worry about wrapping it up before turning 50. Better to take your time and choose the right one than fail and get set back for additional years.
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Tom Cat you seem to be quite knowledgeable. Yes I did meet them through a dating site(s). But not a paid one. Nor was it specific to Eastern European women. What other ways are there to meet people 10,000 miles away?
I spoke with the one girl and her English is pretty good.
Why is her asking me about the visa a red flag? Because she would want me to think she is serious when she's really a scammer?
IDK how well the others speak English. I'm sure it's not too good for at least a couple of them. There hasn't really been much of any talk of any kind of commitment, other than the visa thing. It did surprise me a bit, but she phrased it as a warning to me that a woman would want to know I'm divorced.
So thanks for the advice about bringing the divorce decree.
.
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I have some advice as you are dating more than one woman:
Do not waste time on poor prospects! Most newbies make this mistake.
100% agree!
I have some advice as you are dating more than one woman:
If the first date is a "no chemistry" event then there is no second date. Next.
Finally Have fun ;D
You are good at this.
I Agree 100%
If you fancy the woman but she shows no interest - Next.
Again you nailed it. This is difficult for newbies as well. Newbie has free
time from noon till 6 pm so he asks out Natasha the Hottie who isn't into
him or Sveta the nice girl who he's not serious about.
Women don't come around and change their minds and decide that the guy
pining away for them was who they wanted all along. If you want that go to
Netflicks, but it doesn't happen in real life.
If the woman seems nice but isn't what you are looking for, then don't waste
that poor girls time by asking her out because you are bored. Spend that time
from noon till 6 pm seeing the sites, smelling any roses that you pass by or if
you want to be even more productive write more letters.
Finally Have fun ;D
Simple advice but true. If you are having fun it shows. Women want to be around
a guy having fun, besides how many times in your life are you going to do this?
The chase is fun, I loved it.
Your advice should be added to a stickie on guidelines for newbies.
I would add one thing to your list.
If you find a girl who is everything you are looking for and you have chemistry
and all the boxes are ticked off, and she makes you laugh and you make her
laugh and you can really see yourself happy forever with this girl. Then pursue
that girl!!!
If you think you need to keep looking then that girl isn't the one, so forget her
forever and move on.
During and after every date you need to make a brutally honest assessment.
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Just reading and checking in. Noted a couple of things:
Why are you planning to visit in rural areas of Ukraine? Is your USA home in a small town? The city gals are mostly found in the larger cities like Kiev; Kharkov; and Dnepropetrovsk all with populations of 2 million plus and all in Eastern Ukraine. So if you are seeking a small town gal do what you are doing, but if you live in a modern city and want a lady to fit in then your chances are so so.
Also consider how your future partner will fit into your home and new life. Will she find a career there to fit her existing education and life goals? Remember most FSU ladies have higher education than those in the West. Likewise they are career minded. Some backgrounds like lawyers and doctors etc. will have difficulty to get a job in their field in the West.
Like LeslieD I can agree you can find a keeper and future soulmate and wife if you work at it. Do not worry about the language skill level as that can be learned along the way. Do find the one who feels as you do in that she is ready for a life where ever her future husband lives.
As to age with the right person it is only a number all things considered. Lora and I married within a few days of LeslieD and his wife and so can confirm it is possible. Good Luck and enjoy the adventure. Wes.
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I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
Yet a six year old topic disagrees (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,11208.0.html). Not to mention generally accepted knowledge.
All this 20 year age gap, Americans having more "value" and similar nonsense is all very 1991. Quite nostalgic really. :rolleye0009:
I suspect the OP will hit reality with a bump when there.
Western Europeans also have less value than they once did also as conditions in Russia improved.
Secondly what does 6 years ago have to do with anything. In eastern Ukraine everything changed two years ago. Not every girl in eastern Ukraine will want a big gap neither but more there will accept it than other places in the country.
It all has to do with what you are selling. Are you selling the country you came from or are you selling a away of life? Actually I do not think it would matter which country I came from. I sold my girl stability when there was none. Safe Environment for her child when that did not exist. A lot of girls in the eastern part of the Ukraine with children that are still hoping for a safe environment, stability and a good chance to be happy. It is like in this small area someone has turned the clock back.
It would be easier for me to find a big age gap relationship in the UK than western Ukraine right now. At least in the UK I speak the same language and could impressed the girls with me accent and plane tickets. I am still get emails from desperate women from the UK. Life in the UK appears to be so great for everyone.
The really big thing the girls are tired of is something steveboy said. Many western men will date the girl for about two hours and then expect a blow job or something. This does not impress the women with stability and a chance to be happy. It is just an insult. There are plenty of men in the Ukraine who are young and good looking that are horny. Most eastern Ukraine girls do not need nor want sex tourist.
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I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
Yet a six year old topic disagrees (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,11208.0.html). Not to mention generally accepted knowledge.
All this 20 year age gap, Americans having more "value" and similar nonsense is all very 1991. Quite nostalgic really. :rolleye0009:
I suspect the OP will hit reality with a bump when there.
Western Europeans also have less value than they once did also as conditions in Russia improved.
Secondly what does 6 years ago have to do with anything. In eastern Ukraine everything changed two years ago. Not every girl in eastern Ukraine will want a big gap neither but more there will accept it than other places in the country.
It all has to do with what you are selling. Are you selling the country you came from or are you selling a away of life? Actually I do not think it would matter which country I came from. I sold my girl stability when there was none. Safe Environment for her child when that did not exist. A lot of girls in the eastern part of the Ukraine with children that are still hoping for a safe environment, stability and a good chance to be happy. It is like in this small area someone has turned the clock back.
It would be easier for me to find a big age gap relationship in the UK than western Ukraine right now. At least in the UK I speak the same language and could impressed the girls with me accent and plane tickets. I am still get emails from desperate women from the UK. Life in the UK appears to be so great for everyone.
The really big thing the girls are tired of is something steveboy said. Many western men will date the girl for about two hours and then expect a blow job or something. This does not impress the women with stability and a chance to be happy. It is just an insult. There are plenty of men in the Ukraine who are young and good looking that are horny. Most eastern Ukraine girls do not need nor want sex tourist.
Strange planet you live on, being an American to 99% to us in UK and Europe generally means being a bit of a dickhead, sorry, the kudos have gone now, that was the 60's, now I'm afraid you are the chaps with belly-high trousers who talk extremely loudly in public and annoy the :censored: out out everyone local....
US accent impresses no-one nowadays, actually bit of a joke...
You're living in the past Grandad...
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Monged it up...
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I truly believe the odds are better than Kiev and Odessa to find a good one.
Yet a six year old topic disagrees (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,11208.0.html). Not to mention generally accepted knowledge.
All this 20 year age gap, Americans having more "value" and similar nonsense is all very 1991. Quite nostalgic really. :rolleye0009:
I suspect the OP will hit reality with a bump when there.
Western Europeans also have less value than they once did also as conditions in Russia improved.
Secondly what does 6 years ago have to do with anything. In eastern Ukraine everything changed two years ago. Not every girl in eastern Ukraine will want a big gap neither but more there will accept it than other places in the country.
It all has to do with what you are selling. Are you selling the country you came from or are you selling a away of life? Actually I do not think it would matter which country I came from. I sold my girl stability when there was none. Safe Environment for her child when that did not exist. A lot of girls in the eastern part of the Ukraine with children that are still hoping for a safe environment, stability and a good chance to be happy. It is like in this small area someone has turned the clock back.
It would be easier for me to find a big age gap relationship in the UK than western Ukraine right now. At least in the UK I speak the same language and could impressed the girls with me accent and plane tickets. I am still get emails from desperate women from the UK. Life in the UK appears to be so great for everyone.
The really big thing the girls are tired of is something steveboy said. Many western men will date the girl for about two hours and then expect a blow job or something. This does not impress the women with stability and a chance to be happy. It is just an insult. There are plenty of men in the Ukraine who are young and good looking that are horny. Most eastern Ukraine girls do not need nor want sex tourist.
Strange planet you live on, being an American to 99% to us in UK and Europe generally means being a bit of a dickhead, sorry, the kudos have gone now, that was the 60's, now I'm afraid you are the chaps with belly-high trousers who talk extremely loudly in public and annoy the :censored: out out everyone local....
US accent impresses no-one nowadays, actually bit of a joke...
You're living in the past Grandad...
Don't worry Ste, being an American will become cool again with our new President in charge of things making America great again. :party0031:
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The only part of the world that is falling faster the US in credibility and wealth is western Europe. There will not be any different in between you and eastern Europe in ten years. Take joy in the declining USA and put blinders on and do not see what happening at home.
You know this is nothing new. My father went to the UK when he was sick and dying and found a woman. I get mail from UK women but I am not looking at this time so there is no need for me to go there.
Yes there is a very good chance the Trump's new America will stop the decline in the USA and put as back to where we should be. As far as western Europe goes it looks like no hope. The EU likely to fall apart and the sum of the many pieces will be a lot less than it is now.
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The girl that I am most interested in, during an audio phone conversation, wanted to make sure my divorce was final. She said this was necessary for a K-1 visa. I didn't know what that was but googled it since then.
Do you find it odd that a random woman in someplace in Ukraine knows more about your visa rules, and what your visas are called, than you do? Do you imagine that to be typical?
You can bet she knows even more about divorce laws and your 401k.
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Nice to see that the old days of green card girls and visa mules are not yet entirely dead!
Justadude, a visa mule is what you will be if you are entertaining any ideas of getting hitched after just one meeting with some random green card girl. A green card girl is a woman who is interested in getting to the 'home of the brave' on the back of her visa mule.
You don't want to be a visa mule, not do you want a green card girl.
Have a great trip.
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The only part of the world that is falling faster the US in credibility and wealth is western Europe. There will not be any different in between you and eastern Europe in ten years. Take joy in the declining USA and put blinders on and do not see what happening at home.
You know this is nothing new. My father went to the UK when he was sick and dying and found a woman. I get mail from UK women but I am not looking at this time so there is no need for me to go there.
Yes there is a very good chance the Trump's new America will stop the decline in the USA and put as back to where we should be. As far as western Europe goes it looks like no hope. The EU likely to fall apart and the sum of the many pieces will be a lot less than it is now.
Back to bed for you pops! :chuckle:
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Thank you for the help! I can see I have made a couple mistakes so far, as I did let a woman help me with my hotel. I told her the one I had chosen. She said it was nice but the area wasn't great. I asked her for a suggested list and chose one off that list. I have plans to meet about 7 so far, aged 28-36. I guess I don't really see how I can get scammed by meeting in person. Unless of course the meeting place is down a dark alley! :)
Sorry but I've been intentionally vague about some details. But if there are any ex pats there maybe PM me. I'd love to grab a beer with someone who knows what's up if I'm in their area and it works out.
I grabbed a few American gifts to give away. Any suggestions along those lines?
.
Your already going to fail! Only muppets arrive with gifts for women they do not even know.. :laugh:
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Come on. Nothing wrong with a few token gifts for someone he's been communicating with. As long as he doesn't buy her an apartment on the first trip or gets taken shopping for a new iphone or fur coat.....
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Come on. Nothing wrong with a few token gifts for someone he's been communicating with. As long as he doesn't buy her an apartment on the first trip or gets taken shopping for a new iphone or fur coat.....
No gifts unless you have had some serious conversation for a few months min not just 20 words and fall in love, otherwise its best to buy a little shop there and just have a sign outside saying "Free gifts" :chuckle:
My wife's still waiting for her gift ;D
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Disagree.
When I finally met my wife after talking with her for some weeks/months before my visit, I purchased a bottle perfume at duty free. She was the purpose of the visit and we had already agreed that things might not work out how we had hoped.
That said, if you can't afford a £50 bottle of smelly's to someone you've been connecting with then this whole thing ain't for you. I agree if you have 10 women to meet and have managed to juggle them successfully for the last month, then 10 bottles of Chanel would be a bit ridiculous.
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Disagree.
When I finally met my wife after talking with her for some weeks/months before my visit, I purchased a bottle perfume at duty free. She was the purpose of the visit and we had already agreed that things might not work out how we had hoped.
That said, if you can't afford a £50 bottle of smelly's to someone you've been connecting with then this whole thing ain't for you. I agree if you have 10 women to meet and have managed to juggle them successfully for the last month, then 10 bottles of Chanel would be a bit ridiculous.
When I first went to meet a women I think I was flying Ryan Air , my ticket and accommodation probably only cost £60 couldn't afford gifts also ;D
I was just and still am a poor man :(
Yes but nothing wrong with buying a gift if you have been in communication some time and your just planning to meet this women :)
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Disagree.
When I finally met my wife after talking with her for some weeks/months before my visit, I purchased a bottle perfume at duty free. She was the purpose of the visit and we had already agreed that things might not work out how we had hoped.
That said, if you can't afford a £50 bottle of smelly's to someone you've been connecting with then this whole thing ain't for you. I agree if you have 10 women to meet and have managed to juggle them successfully for the last month, then 10 bottles of Chanel would be a bit ridiculous.
When I first went to meet a women I think I was flying Ryan Air , my ticket and accommodation probably only cost £60 couldn't afford gifts also ;D
I was just and still am a poor man :(
Yes but nothing wrong with buying a gift if you have been in communication some time and your just planning to meet this women :)
Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
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Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
I might be a bit of a romantic, but I'm also a cheap ass at heart. Trying to be less of one! Spending money on a trip like this trip is out of character for me.
As to being a Visa mule, I can think of worse things if I have 2 years with a hot girl and she gets a Visa out of the deal. Might be cheaper per year than what my American ex wife got out of a 16 year marriage. :)
In fact, I like my odds better to some extent with a FSU girl. My ex GF paid me $400/month to live with me and shared 1/2 of the expenses. And cooked and cleaned. They seem like good people by and large. Not to say that there aren't a few bad apples in any bushel.
Seriously, though, I just don't see myself as falling prey to any rediculous scam. I'm really not much of a gift buyer. I don't think I've ever given a gift to an American woman on a first or second date. Probably not even third. I don't think it is wise. I think it tends to work against you. My perception is that FSU women are a bit more romantic, a bit more open about wanting a relationship and probably a bit more likely to like a small gift in a situation like this than an American girl.
But I'm here to learn! So thanks for all the ideas.
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I might be a bit of a romantic, but I'm also a cheap ass at heart.
Generally speaking, that's not going to serve you well over there.
But I'm here to learn! So thanks for all the ideas.
Having read through the thread, a lot of what you're seeing is some very old axes being ground by some senior members, and brandished at each other.
Learn as much Russian as you can before you go, bone up on the culture, and don't over-invest too early.
Good luck.
B/B
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Russians have a saying: The greedy (cheap) man always pays twice. In other words what poster B/B just told you is very true: the moment a woman thinks you are cheap, it's all over for you.
However I just read that you are taking some presents and want to make a good impression, so I say good luck. There's always a fine line between being romantic and generous and being a sucker. :chuckle:
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Disagree.
When I finally met my wife after talking with her for some weeks/months before my visit, I purchased a bottle perfume at duty free. She was the purpose of the visit and we had already agreed that things might not work out how we had hoped.
That said, if you can't afford a £50 bottle of smelly's to someone you've been connecting with then this whole thing ain't for you. I agree if you have 10 women to meet and have managed to juggle them successfully for the last month, then 10 bottles of Chanel would be a bit ridiculous.
When I first went to meet a women I think I was flying Ryan Air , my ticket and accommodation probably only cost £60 couldn't afford gifts also ;D
I was just and still am a poor man :(
Yes but nothing wrong with buying a gift if you have been in communication some time and your just planning to meet this women :)
Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Nooooo borsch is all we eat.. and a few salted fish with soup for Christmas treat :chuckle:
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Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Seeing as any clients would be from the 'west' ...I'd have thought our steve would have been hoping - until Brexit - that they paid in GBP ;)
Steve: you do know that Borsh is a Ukrainian dish ;) ? ....
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There is a huge difference between bringing a gift and being asked to buy a gift. If I was asked to buy a gift ( no matter how small) in the first few dates it was always a problem very soon afterwards. Bringing a gift sends a message to the girl that is good. Ukrainian women love gifts because it show you care and are thinking about them. They are more often emotional than there USA counter part. It is more of a custom in Ukraine that men give gifts. But it is not a custom that she has the right to ask for one.
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There is a huge difference between bringing a gift and being asked to buy a gift. If I was asked to buy a gift ( no matter how small) in the first few dates it was always a problem very soon afterwards. Bringing a gift sends a message to the girl that is good. Ukrainian women love gifts because it show you care and are thinking about them. They are more often emotional than there USA counter part. It is more of a custom in Ukraine that men give gifts. But it is not a custom that she has the right to ask for one.
Just like its not customary to buy flats for girlfriends in the west. It's a strange thing this FSU dating! :drunk:
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Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Seeing as any clients would be from the 'west' ...I'd have thought our steve would have been hoping - until Brexit - that they paid in GBP ;)
Steve: you do know that Borsh is a Ukrainian dish ;) ? ....
An authority on Steveies business model , are you?
As for Borscht, you do know it's eaten in other Fsu countries too, don't you?
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Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Seeing as any clients would be from the 'west' ...I'd have thought our steve would have been hoping - until Brexit - that they paid in GBP ;)
Steve: you do know that Borsh is a Ukrainian dish ;) ? ....
An authority on Steveies business model , are you?
As for Borscht, you do know it's eaten in other Fsu countries too, don't you?
My wife makes it from time to time, how very un Belarusian!! :'(
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Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Seeing as any clients would be from the 'west' ...I'd have thought our steve would have been hoping - until Brexit - that they paid in GBP ;)
Steve: you do know that Borsh is a Ukrainian dish ;) ? ....
An authority on Steveies business model , are you?
As for Borscht, you do know it's eaten in other Fsu countries too, don't you?
My wife makes it from time to time, how very un Belarusian!! :'(
We do the occasional borscht but we both think it's a bit bland, she's up to Jalfrezi level at our local Indian now, pretty impressive for a Russian and after only 14 years!
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Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Seeing as any clients would be from the 'west' ...I'd have thought our steve would have been hoping - until Brexit - that they paid in GBP ;)
Steve: you do know that Borsh is a Ukrainian dish ;) ? ....
I have the Russian version of borsch :chuckle:
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Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
Get some coffee table type picture books of your area. Anyone who is serious
would be very interested in looking though them.
Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
I might be a bit of a romantic, but I'm also a cheap ass at heart. Trying to be less of one! Spending money on a trip like this trip is out of character for me.
As to being a Visa mule, I can think of worse things if I have 2 years with a hot girl and she gets a Visa out of the deal. Might be cheaper per year than what my American ex wife got out of a 16 year marriage. :)
In fact, I like my odds better to some extent with a FSU girl. My ex GF paid me $400/month to live with me and shared 1/2 of the expenses. And cooked and cleaned. They seem like good people by and large. Not to say that there aren't a few bad apples in any bushel.
Seriously, though, I just don't see myself as falling prey to any rediculous scam. I'm really not much of a gift buyer. I don't think I've ever given a gift to an American woman on a first or second date. Probably not even third. I don't think it is wise. I think it tends to work against you. My perception is that FSU women are a bit more romantic, a bit more open about wanting a relationship and probably a bit more likely to like a small gift in a situation like this than an American girl.
But I'm here to learn! So thanks for all the ideas.
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Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
Get some coffee table type picture books of your area. Anyone who is serious
would be very interested in looking though them.
Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
I might be a bit of a romantic, but I'm also a cheap ass at heart. Trying to be less of one! Spending money on a trip like this trip is out of character for me.
As to being a Visa mule, I can think of worse things if I have 2 years with a hot girl and she gets a Visa out of the deal. Might be cheaper per year than what my American ex wife got out of a 16 year marriage. :)
In fact, I like my odds better to some extent with a FSU girl. My ex GF paid me $400/month to live with me and shared 1/2 of the expenses. And cooked and cleaned. They seem like good people by and large. Not to say that there aren't a few bad apples in any bushel.
Seriously, though, I just don't see myself as falling prey to any rediculous scam. I'm really not much of a gift buyer. I don't think I've ever given a gift to an American woman on a first or second date. Probably not even third. I don't think it is wise. I think it tends to work against you. My perception is that FSU women are a bit more romantic, a bit more open about wanting a relationship and probably a bit more likely to like a small gift in a situation like this than an American girl.
But I'm here to learn! So thanks for all the ideas.
Maybe borrow some Peter and Jane books from Confederate if he's finished with them or not drawn all over them in biro. Or crayon, probs not allowed biros in his mental institution...
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An authority on Steveies business model , are you?
He's hardly been asking western guys for payment in Roubles, right?..
As for Borscht, you do know it's eaten in other Fsu countries too, don't you?
Along with Salo and a veritable string of other UA origin fayre ...
We do the occasional borscht but we both think it's a bit bland, she's up to Jalfrezi level at our local Indian now, pretty impressive for a Russian and after only 14 years!
As we're into 'how hot can they take it' ...I'm quite interested in the ability of S.C to be able to chomp on spicy dishes that has folks in Asia, FSU and I retching ... She could eat a Phaal curry - and wonder what the fuss was about ... I have seen her pour out the contents of two pepper pots and eat the contents in between courses ..... ?! :o
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-06/fyi-are-people-born-tolerance-spicy-food (http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2013-06/fyi-are-people-born-tolerance-spicy-food)
Part Genetic, has to be ... but I don't have a qualm about meeting new folks or public speaking - and yet some Thai Green Curries are my limit ... She lifts out the peppers and munches on them ...
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Here we are thinking you were raking in the roubles. :ROFL:
Seeing as any clients would be from the 'west' ...I'd have thought our steve would have been hoping - until Brexit - that they paid in GBP ;)
Steve: you do know that Borsh is a Ukrainian dish ;) ? ....
An authority on Steveies business model , are you?
As for Borscht, you do know it's eaten in other Fsu countries too, don't you?
My wife makes it from time to time, how very un Belarusian!! :'(
We do the occasional borscht but we both think it's a bit bland, she's up to Jalfrezi level at our local Indian Bangladeshi now, pretty impressive for a Russian and after only 14 years!
There, corrected that for you. :chuckle:
My wife cooked Indian food tonight. How about that? Very good it was, too.
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There is a huge difference between bringing a gift and being asked to buy a gift. If I was asked to buy a gift ( no matter how small) in the first few dates it was always a problem very soon afterwards. Bringing a gift sends a message to the girl that is good. Ukrainian women love gifts because it show you care and are thinking about them. They are more often emotional than there USA counter part. It is more of a custom in Ukraine that men give gifts. But it is not a custom that she has the right to ask for one.
Just like its not customary to buy flats for girlfriends in the west. It's a strange thing this FSU dating! :drunk:
Rosco, I have something going on in my life that should be obvious to you but you do not seem to be able to see it. If I marries the girl that would carry for me a huge amount of risk many time what I am spending on flats even if I buy ten of them. What I am doing is conservative and safe as it limits any possible loss to something I can easily afford. The girl spend years of her life dedicated to me then in the end is left with nothing. That would not be right!
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Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
Get some coffee table type picture books of your area. Anyone who is serious
would be very interested in looking though them.
Once again, thanks for the help! I figured, why not spend $150 on a few American gifts that you can't easily get over there? My ex FSU GF even went shopping with me and helped me pick them out.
I might be a bit of a romantic, but I'm also a cheap ass at heart. Trying to be less of one! Spending money on a trip like this trip is out of character for me.
As to being a Visa mule, I can think of worse things if I have 2 years with a hot girl and she gets a Visa out of the deal. Might be cheaper per year than what my American ex wife got out of a 16 year marriage. :)
In fact, I like my odds better to some extent with a FSU girl. My ex GF paid me $400/month to live with me and shared 1/2 of the expenses. And cooked and cleaned. They seem like good people by and large. Not to say that there aren't a few bad apples in any bushel.
Seriously, though, I just don't see myself as falling prey to any rediculous scam. I'm really not much of a gift buyer. I don't think I've ever given a gift to an American woman on a first or second date. Probably not even third. I don't think it is wise. I think it tends to work against you. My perception is that FSU women are a bit more romantic, a bit more open about wanting a relationship and probably a bit more likely to like a small gift in a situation like this than an American girl.
But I'm here to learn! So thanks for all the ideas.
Maybe borrow some Peter and Jane books from Confederate if he's finished with them or not drawn all over them in biro. Or crayon, probs not allowed biros in his mental institution...
Funny stuff from our resident Commie dreaming of a socialist utopia. Those who have this should be locked up in a mental institution for delusions. https://www.britannica.com/topic/The-Communist-Manifesto
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There is a huge difference between bringing a gift and being asked to buy a gift. If I was asked to buy a gift ( no matter how small) in the first few dates it was always a problem very soon afterwards. Bringing a gift sends a message to the girl that is good. Ukrainian women love gifts because it show you care and are thinking about them. They are more often emotional than there USA counter part. It is more of a custom in Ukraine that men give gifts. But it is not a custom that she has the right to ask for one.
Just like its not customary to buy flats for girlfriends in the west. It's a strange thing this FSU dating! :drunk:
Rosco, I have something going on in my life that should be obvious to you but you do not seem to be able to see it. If I marries the girl that would carry for me a huge amount of risk many time what I am spending on flats even if I buy ten of them. What I am doing is conservative and safe as it limits any possible loss to something I can easily afford. The girl spend years of her life dedicated to me then in the end is left with nothing. That would not be right!
In a weird way I understand what Texan is doing. Seems he has a GF and is sponsoring her in the culture of Ukraine or Russia.
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From my personal experience, if you have communicated with a woman for more than a few weeks, Skype, e-mail messages,ect. Then a small gift is not out of the question. If the women has a child or two, a gift for the child is a nice touch. EVERY lady that I have had communicated with for a month or more had gifts not for me, but for my daughters.
AS for Texan if he's not planning to marry his lady friend, and wants to keep her interest, he has to do more than visit a couple times a year.
Most guys intentions are to get married and live as husband and wife.
Texan's choice of sponsorship within Ukraine is just not what most want.
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Count me as one who agrees with the posters who recommended going light on the gifts at first. If you have been communicating with them, you should have some idea about their likes. e.g if she drinks coffee, a cup with "insert city" on it, like LA, NY, etc.. If she's casual, a t-shirt ( I once gave a girl a tee with the California bear and California Republic on it; was a big hit with her).
I would pass on books about your city as the internet has made them rather passe and you can show them your city on a computer. Things don't have to be expensive, just good quality with some thought put into it.
Remember, many things now cost about the same in Russia (I imagine Ukraine as well), or cheaper factoring in the exchange rate, which would have me focusing in on gifts like the above mentioned. By this, I mean thoughtful gifts and not more expensive fare.
Also keep in mind, unless you have explicitely talked about things romantically and escalated things in that regard, you have nothing. And even if you have taken things in that direction, it could all flame out very quickly. Plan your gifts accordingly and wait for more serious gift giving after you consummate the relationship.
The best borscht I have ever eaten was at an Aberbijian restaurant in Moscow. Certainly beat anything I have tried in Ukraine.
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If you are going to be out and about in large crowds keep your wallet in a safe place. There are pros about....
Have a great time and let us know what happened.
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Maybe borrow some Peter and Jane books from Confederate if he's finished with them or not drawn all over them in biro. Or crayon, probs not allowed biros in his mental institution...
I don't know Confederate well enough to tease him (so I won't)
But on the subject of books, I found a Kama Sutra popup book :)
The Pop-Up Kama Sutra: Six Paper-Engineered Variations
https://www.amazon.com/Pop-Up-Kama-Sutra-Paper-Engineered-Variations/dp/1584793023/
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If you are going to be out and about in large crowds keep your wallet in a safe place. There are pros about....
Have a great time and let us know what happened.
pro pick pocketers? Or worse?
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Count me as one who agrees with the posters who recommended going light on the gifts at first. If you have been communicating with them, you should have some idea about their likes. e.g if she drinks coffee, a cup with "insert city" on it, like LA, NY, etc.. If she's casual, a t-shirt ( I once gave a girl a tee with the California bear and California Republic on it; was a big hit with her).
I would pass on books about your city as the internet has made them rather passe and you can show them your city on a computer. Things don't have to be expensive, just good quality with some thought put into it.
Remember, many things now cost about the same in Russia (I imagine Ukraine as well), or cheaper factoring in the exchange rate, which would have me focusing in on gifts like the above mentioned. By this, I mean thoughtful gifts and not more expensive fare.
Also keep in mind, unless you have explicitely talked about things romantically and escalated things in that regard, you have nothing. And even if you have taken things in that direction, it could all flame out very quickly. Plan your gifts accordingly and wait for more serious gift giving after you consummate the relationship.
The best borscht I have ever eaten was at an Aberbijian restaurant in Moscow. Certainly beat anything I have tried in Ukraine.
I haven't really talked in any romantic terms. A couple of the girls have pushed the conversation in that direction. I wouldn't generally do that until I meet someone in person. I think the gifts are treading that fine line between trivial and significant. And, once again, they were blessed by a FSU female in the age range I'm seeking.
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Danchik, I do like that T-shirt idea!
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Count me as one who agrees with the posters who recommended going light on the gifts at first. If you have been communicating with them, you should have some idea about their likes. e.g if she drinks coffee, a cup with "insert city" on it, like LA, NY, etc.. If she's casual, a t-shirt ( I once gave a girl a tee with the California bear and California Republic on it; was a big hit with her).
I would pass on books about your city as the internet has made them rather passe and you can show them your city on a computer. Things don't have to be expensive, just good quality with some thought put into it.
Remember, many things now cost about the same in Russia (I imagine Ukraine as well), or cheaper factoring in the exchange rate, which would have me focusing in on gifts like the above mentioned. By this, I mean thoughtful gifts and not more expensive fare.
Also keep in mind, unless you have explicitely talked about things romantically and escalated things in that regard, you have nothing. And even if you have taken things in that direction, it could all flame out very quickly. Plan your gifts accordingly and wait for more serious gift giving after you consummate the relationship.
The best borscht I have ever eaten was at an Aberbijian restaurant in Moscow. Certainly beat anything I have tried in Ukraine.
Don, regarding the prices being the same, does that include electronics, clothing and designer brands?
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It depends of course, but yes, by and large most prices have become comparable. So much so, that I barely bought anything to bring back on my last trip to the States in May of this year.
For example, I took a look at a jacket I saw on display a couple of weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised that it was discounted to around $200, where in the past it would have gone for twice that price. Clothes in general have become much more reasonably priced as well.
Another example was a software package I bought during my last trip to America only to see it here at half the price.
There's an online Aplle store where you can get things for a very similar price as in America, and they'll deliver.
With designer brands, it had always been assumed that it would be better to buy in the West, but this was more about authenticity as well as price. I'm not sure how that has changed compard to now.
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I also would go light on the gift idea, initially.
One gift that made a serious impression was an orchid plant, readily available in Ukraine and usually around 190 to 250 ₴ on most markets or flower stores. You want to purchase one that has the most unopened flower buds. This is a sort of going away present.
With the exception of iPhones most products are about 5% more. If you are going this way get an extended warranty as there is no service in Ukraine.
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
Good all is going reasonably well.
The 'savvy tourists traps' are part of the learning curve, most of us have paid for this 'knowledge.'
A couple notes; The temperature, at least in Kiev, is quite average. Cold is -25 to -32 centigrade, presently it is just under freezing here. Where are you?
A 24 year age difference is in today's time MEGA, but sometimes it works out. For what it is worth I despise little yappy dogs.
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Dude,
Forgot to add tomorrow and following day are significant days!
If you can ask some one local about the 'protocol' and customs it would be a wise idea.
Av
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
Mmmmm been to the US already and 24 years younger than you..I would be carful if I was you. For me the dog gives it away.
Little dog been to the US spells "Stay away" :)
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
Mmmmm been to the US already and 24 years younger than you..I would be carful if I was you. For me the dog gives it away.
Little dog been to the US spells "Stay away" :)
If she's already had a K1 visa it's gonna be a bit more difficult the second time around, especially if it's within the last couple years. I'd be looking for another for sure.
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She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
Nice to see that the old days of green card girls and visa mules are not yet entirely dead!
Justadude, a visa mule is what you will be if you are entertaining any ideas of getting hitched after just one meeting with some random green card girl. A green card girl is a woman who is interested in getting to the 'home of the brave' on the back of her visa mule.
You don't want to be a visa mule, not do you want a green card girl.
Have a great trip.
The girl that I am most interested in, during an audio phone conversation, wanted to make sure my divorce was final. She said this was necessary for a K-1 visa. I didn't know what that was but googled it since then.
Do you find it odd that a random woman in someplace in Ukraine knows more about your visa rules, and what your visas are called, than you do? Do you imagine that to be typical?
You can bet she knows even more about divorce laws and your 401k.
Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true.
:coffeeread:
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Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true.
Whilst it MIGHT be helpful - how do you know it is true ?
Another scenario: It is QUITE possible that the lady simply did not gel with or want to marry to last guy who got her a fiancee visa - but she is wise to the rule / regulations, now.
What she says and does will reveal much. Follow your gut spend plenty of time with any prospective wife - before tying the knot.... If she is in to you - she'll be patient
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I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her.
Rarely do we hear two sides of a story. But this one I would like to hear.
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I just don't think I'm that stupid or that bad of a judge of character. But maybe I am. But I do agree I'd like to hear his side of the story. In fact, if this thing goes further, I was thinking I would ask her for his contact info. I think if she sees me as a potential VM, and if she were a little smarter, she wouldn't have told me about her previous attempt. But maybe it's all part of the plan, like drawing a moth to a candle. The candle being a beautiful FSU princess in this case
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Justadude, read this and stay cautious: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,15991.0.html
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
Mmmmm been to the US already and 24 years younger than you..I would be carful if I was you. For me the dog gives it away.
Little dog been to the US spells "Stay away" :)
If she's already had a K1 visa it's gonna be a bit more difficult the second time around, especially if it's within the last couple years. I'd be looking for another for sure.
She went back and did not do a visa overstay like many of them. My guess that will be a credit to her with them. Anyway I wish justadude success.
I think if she sees me as a potential VM, and if she were a little smarter, she wouldn't have told me about her previous attempt.
She might think the US government might inform you of her other attempt(s) to get to the US. I doubt this though. I think Moby's post upthread a bit has some serious counter-balance to the other posts here.
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Justadude, read this and stay cautious: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,15991.0.html
Thanks Manny, I skimmed through about the first 8 pages. Then skipped to the end. I couldn't figure out how to search for just Chris' posts, but it's 14:30 here and I need to get some sleep. I hope I don't sound like this guy! I haven't spent anywhere near the kind of money he spent. Beyond my room and plane ticket I've spent less than $300 in the week since I left the states.
This was very insightful. Thank you for the link. I'll search through it more tomorrow.
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I mean 2:30 here. It's New Year's Day and most things are closed. I moved to a new apartment on N's advice. It is the same cost as the last hotel, and I have a washing machine, which is good because I need to wash some clothes. New Year's Eve was pretty cool. I suggested to N that she spend it with her friends, because I know what a big deal it is for them. Her and I had an early dinner and then I hung out with a couple Turkish dudes I met at my hotel. We discussed international politics but were unaware of the night club bombing.
In the interest of not sounding pathetic, I don't think I'll report any future plans for specific events of this trip, only give an account of things that have already happened.
I will say this, though. The whole idea of meeting a woman half way around the world and relocating her to your country seem's like a fool's errand on the face of it. Then again, apparently it has been done enough times to make it a thing and support an industry. Having said that, I don't know if I have the stomach for it. Taking this trip was rather impulsive on my part, and as I said, I have tried to keep my expectations low. I guess I could say that those expectations have been exceeded so far. One thing I didn't anticipate very well, was how my feelings would develop. Maybe this will turn into something and maybe it won't. If I walk away right now, I won't have lost much. Having a great time so far but trying to keep the long view in mind.
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I mean 2:30 here. It's New Year's Day and most things are closed. I moved to a new apartment on N's advice. It is the same cost as the last hotel, and I have a washing machine, which is good because I need to wash some clothes. New Year's Eve was pretty cool. I suggested to N that she spend it with her friends, because I know what a big deal it is for them. Her and I had an early dinner and then I hung out with a couple Turkish dudes I met at my hotel. We discussed international politics but were unaware of the night club bombing.
In the interest of not sounding pathetic, I don't think I'll report any future plans for specific events of this trip, only give an account of things that have already happened.
I will say this, though. The whole idea of meeting a woman half way around the world and relocating her to your country seem's like a fool's errand on the face of it. Then again, apparently it has been done enough times to make it a thing and support an industry. Having said that, I don't know if I have the stomach for it. Taking this trip was rather impulsive on my part, and as I said, I have tried to keep my expectations low. I guess I could say that those expectations have been exceeded so far. One thing I didn't anticipate very well, was how my feelings would develop. Maybe this will turn into something and maybe it won't. If I walk away right now, I won't have lost much. Having a great time so far but trying to keep the long view in mind.
? You suggested she spend New Years eve with her friends and she did not invite you along?
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Dude, I sent you a whatsapp message and pm here.
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? You suggested she spend New Years eve with her friends and she did not invite you along?
[/quote]
Nope!
.
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Another issue is that I've lost more than 5 lbs since I left home. I don't travel much, but this is a common problem for me when I do. I'm a skinny guy to start off with at 5'11" and a buck sixty five. I'm also a vegetarian. I can't seem to find food I like and the portions are small too. I usually order 2 portions. Also, it seems like you wait a long time at a restaurant for food to be prepared. There are twice as many employees as seems necessary for the number of customers, but it takes twice as long as back home. Just one of the quirks. But the food quality is pretty good and it's inexpensive. The restaurants are also very clean, as are most things.
.
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? You suggested she spend New Years eve with her friends and she did not invite you along?
Nope!
Thats all you need to know, sorry.
.
[/quote]
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Another issue is that I've lost more than 5 lbs since I left home. I don't travel much, but this is a common problem for me when I do. I'm a skinny guy to start off with at 5'11" and a buck sixty five. I'm also a vegetarian. I can't seem to find food I like and the portions are small too. I usually order 2 portions. Also, it seems like you wait a long time at a restaurant for food to be prepared. There are twice as many employees as seems necessary for the number of customers, but it takes twice as long as back home. Just one of the quirks. But the food quality is pretty good and it's inexpensive. The restaurants are also very clean, as are most things.
the reason it takes longer is it is made to order, not something that is normal in the western world.
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? You suggested she spend New Years eve with her friends and she did not invite you along?
Nope!
Thats all you need to know, sorry.
.
You're right. I'm walkin!
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Even if it is the holidays, had the lady felt you have the potential to be a future husband, she would have been with you.
You traveled halfway around the world, so your efforts should have also been given consideration.
The goal is not to settle for just someone you could live with. Finding someone you can't live without should be what you want to find.
Hopefully you will find the right woman who will feel the same about you.
Walking away shows good judgment, in that you know you deserve better.
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I'm also a vegetarian.
I don't recall you saying what city you are in (maybe you did, but I haven're re-read the thread). If you are in Kiev, you might try "Nebos" and/or "Imbir" (Ginger). Both are vegan and good enough - which I say as a very biased meat-eater.
B/B
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I mean 2:30 here. It's New Year's Day and most things are closed. I moved to a new apartment on N's advice. It is the same cost as the last hotel, and I have a washing machine, which is good because I need to wash some clothes. New Year's Eve was pretty cool. I suggested to N that she spend it with her friends, because I know what a big deal it is for them. Her and I had an early dinner and then I hung out with a couple Turkish dudes I met at my hotel. We discussed international politics but were unaware of the night club bombing.
In the interest of not sounding pathetic, I don't think I'll report any future plans for specific events of this trip, only give an account of things that have already happened.
I will say this, though. The whole idea of meeting a woman half way around the world and relocating her to your country seem's like a fool's errand on the face of it. Then again, apparently it has been done enough times to make it a thing and support an industry. Having said that, I don't know if I have the stomach for it. Taking this trip was rather impulsive on my part, and as I said, I have tried to keep my expectations low. I guess I could say that those expectations have been exceeded so far. One thing I didn't anticipate very well, was how my feelings would develop. Maybe this will turn into something and maybe it won't. If I walk away right now, I won't have lost much. Having a great time so far but trying to keep the long view in mind.
? You suggested she spend New Years eve with her friends and she did not invite you along?
It might also be that she felt he was not into her, since he did not offer to be with her. Very odd though. I don't think this relationship has a future. Just my two kopecks.
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Even if it is the holidays, had the lady felt you have the potential to be a future husband, she would have been with you.
You traveled halfway around the world, so your efforts should have also been given consideration.
The goal is not to settle for just someone you could live with. Finding someone you can't live without should be what you want to find.
Hopefully you will find the right woman who will feel the same about you.
Walking away shows good judgment, in that you know you deserve better.
:thumbsup:
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If she was into you she wouldn't of let you spend NYE without her.
My advice is this. Yes it's a long shot finding someone, you made some rookie mistakes by chasing a far too young girl instead of meeting the other girls to get an idea of this situation. You're not the first and you won't be the last. At least you didn't do what one guy did years ago, and that is take a flight back to the USA the same day after realising he was scheduled by thinking a girl was writing him. It was a guy who stole her photos. He went and within hours was back on the plane.
There are many sad tales in this pursuit, I can only offer up some suggestions and that is narrow the gap. It's hard enough doing this within your age range, but you will also have to add in cultural differences.
It sounds like to me though you won't be continuing the search, and that isn't uncommon after trying it once. However at least you went and that's further than most.
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Justadude, read this and stay cautious: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,15991.0.html
Thanks Manny, I skimmed through about the first 8 pages. Then skipped to the end. I couldn't figure out how to search for just Chris' posts, but it's 14:30 here and I need to get some sleep. I hope I don't sound like this guy! I haven't spent anywhere near the kind of money he spent. Beyond my room and plane ticket I've spent less than $300 in the week since I left the states.
I wasn't suggesting you sounded like that guy, but I thought it worth a read as one of his was a NY trip. He also spent NYE alone there. You are ahead though as he was locked in an apartment while she was out partying with Boris in a dress he bought IIRC.
I am also surprised she didn't invite you to the NYE. It tells us she just isn't that into you IMO. Which is way better than her faking it.
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The "I'm walkin" statement was poorly contrived sarcasm, which I should know doesn't play well online. I am still seeing her several hours each day.
At the moment I choose not to go into specifics because my perception is that the more I try to justify my choice the more I'll get shot down. That doesn't mean I'm not carefully considering what has been written.
I'll restate what I said before. The trip has been relatively inexpensive, I've made no commitment, and I'm having fun.
And, I make this pledge. Since this is a community forum, whose intent I believe is to help others, if I crash and burn I won't just slink away. I'll report on it here in a timely fashion for the good of the order.
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The trip has been relatively inexpensive, I've made no commitment, and I'm having fun.
Sounds like to good trip to me.
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. . . I make this pledge. Since this is a community forum, whose intent I believe is to help others, if I crash and burn I won't just slink away. I'll report on it here in a timely fashion for the good of the order. . .
Thank you for making this statement.
Sometimes what is written is not per say for the poster, but to help the lurkers who are reading a thread.
To give you an idea of the reality there are some 4 members prerently reading this thread and some 23 'lurkers', they are welcome to join RUA but for a variety of reasons do not.
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I mean 2:30 here. It's New Year's Day and most things are closed. I moved to a new apartment on N's advice. It is the same cost as the last hotel, and I have a washing machine, which is good because I need to wash some clothes. New Year's Eve was pretty cool. I suggested to N that she spend it with her friends, because I know what a big deal it is for them. Her and I had an early dinner and then I hung out with a couple Turkish dudes I met at my hotel. We discussed international politics but were unaware of the night club bombing.
In the interest of not sounding pathetic, I don't think I'll report any future plans for specific events of this trip, only give an account of things that have already happened.
I will say this, though. The whole idea of meeting a woman half way around the world and relocating her to your country seem's like a fool's errand on the face of it. Then again, apparently it has been done enough times to make it a thing and support an industry. Having said that, I don't know if I have the stomach for it. Taking this trip was rather impulsive on my part, and as I said, I have tried to keep my expectations low. I guess I could say that those expectations have been exceeded so far. One thing I didn't anticipate very well, was how my feelings would develop. Maybe this will turn into something and maybe it won't. If I walk away right now, I won't have lost much. Having a great time so far but trying to keep the long view in mind.
I will say this, though. The whole idea of meeting a woman half way around the world and relocating her to your country seem's like a fool's errand on the face of it
It is a fools errand! And 99% of guys trying it are fools or idiots! Most are chasing something that does not exist anymore.
BUT a small % do find a women. It takes lots and lots and lots of commitment , time money and realistic expectations. :)
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Hey if your having fun and getting your moneys worth enjoy.
Personally, I would not travel that far for that kind of girl,
I would move on and look for better.
But you are not the first, nor will you be the last.
Actually some men make the trip for no other reason LOL.
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I wouldn't worry about not being invited to a NY party with this women/girl thats perfectly normal! Why would a young women want to invite a near total stranger to a party she has probably had planned with friends and relatives for a long time!
1. It would probably make her look stupid in front of her friends she probably has not even said she is looking for a foreigner.
2. If she has a little dog you can be sure she will have plenty of young guys on NY to look after her and give her a fun time, why would she need some poor old foreigner ?
3. just because you come to meet a women in a foreign country it doesn't give you a right to immediately own her or be part of her social life and meet friends, that takes time.
:)
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While I can understand the disappointment of not being invited to the New Year's party.
From what i read up thread there was not any intense and personal communications between our heroe(s). Most likely the party was primarily in Russian/Ukraine and it would have been clumsy to include a non Russian speaker in this setting.
Steve's post makes sense, these relations take time to develop. If she spends time with you every day than that is a hopeful sign.
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Hey if your having fun and getting your moneys worth enjoy.
Personally, I would not travel that far for that kind of girl,
I would move on and look for better.
But you are not the first, nor will you be the last.
Actually some men make the trip for no other reason LOL.
It seems the gent knows this one is not the LTR he is looking for, but likely just a good time.
He didn't know how it would pan out until he got over there and I give him props for getting on the plane.
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Hey if your having fun and getting your moneys worth enjoy.
Personally, I would not travel that far for that kind of girl,
I would move on and look for better.
But you are not the first, nor will you be the last.
Actually some men make the trip for no other reason LOL.
It seems the gent knows this one is not the LTR he is looking for, but likely just a good time.
He didn't know how it would pan out until he got over there and I give him props for getting on the plane.
True and no one knows till they meet how its going to go.
But if serious, why waste time, use remaining time to learn and meet new people.
One of my bad trips, I walked from girl made some friends, one of the friends I made
a year later introduced me to my wife :) ( no websites)
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
I think you messed up by cancelling the other dates. Meeting a mix of ladies would help keep your feet on the ground, learn more and use it as a barometer of how much you like lady number 1.
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The "I'm walkin" statement was poorly contrived sarcasm, which I should know doesn't play well online. I am still seeing her several hours each day.
At the moment I choose not to go into specifics because my perception is that the more I try to justify my choice the more I'll get shot down. That doesn't mean I'm not carefully considering what has been written.
I'll restate what I said before. The trip has been relatively inexpensive, I've made no commitment, and I'm having fun.
And, I make this pledge. Since this is a community forum, whose intent I believe is to help others, if I crash and burn I won't just slink away. I'll report on it here in a timely fashion for the good of the order.
My advice is that you go to Mamba.ru and become a VIP member and add some
dollars to your account, $30 should be plenty. You can search for girls who speak
English (but not as a free member) and write every attractive girl in your city
who is within 9-11 years of your age (there will be a thousands) ask them out
for coffee and see who responds.
My second advice is to dump the other girl. Never date a girl who you already
know isn't the "one" You can salvage this trip by finding a good new
prospect.
Most good advice is easier to give than to follow. You've invested time and effort
and even emotions into this girl, but you need to move on before you can find
a good girl for you.
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Justadude,
I wish not to criticise..
I am a little flabbergasted at the girl though..
Ukrainian hospitality "demands" that this girl should have taken charge of you for NYE, taking you along with her to "Wherever" she was going/invited, introducing you as a visitor from the US to the country, and you would have been made welcome by all, that's the normal way of doing things for NYE in Ukraine...
You should never have been left alone to your own devices on such an important night..
This is something which you should reflect upon and treat the girl in a similar manner to that which she treated you..
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Let's see some expect a dude who arrives a week before New Years Eve and has had casual contact with a woman from far away (Kiev) to take take care of his social agenda. They are spending time together each day, I assume she has a job and likes to pay her bills instead of hoping and waiting for some guy with a little blue book.
Perhaps the woman in question is careful, more so after visiting America on what turned out to a (false promise?). Perhaps she has seen enough BS from guys that makes her cautious.
Give it time I am confident things will be sorted out in time.
This 'adventure' is not easy and there is no one correct way to execute it. Certainly enough ways to muck it up.
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Nope, if the ostensible purpose of their meeting was to figure out their compatibility as life partners then her decision to exclude him from her New Years Eve celebrations is very telling.
She might not want to introduce him to her friends, but that tells us she is not happy that he does so. He is not therefore, in her mind, a viable candidate for a mate.
His visit was not a surprise to her. She had time to make plans that could include him. One thought, as he has been careful to tell us how little money he has spent, I'd lay odds that his target has noted this tendency too. I wonder whether she simply feels he could not afford to take part in her social life. As those who know this stuff know, once one moves away from celebrating New Year in one's kitchen, the cost of the partying is not little. He could have been signalling that he was not up to the task of squiring this woman around. There are times to hold back on spending but, truth be told, pitching woo is not one of those times, never, not anywhere.
So, whatever the reason might be, this is never going to happen. Oil the locks on your wallet. Get out on Mamba, full VIP option, and start setting up dates - but remember, Orthodox Christmas will be blackout days for new contacts.
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While I can understand the disappointment of not being invited to the New Year's party.
From what i read up thread there was not any intense and personal communications between our heroe(s). Most likely the party was primarily in Russian/Ukraine and it would have been clumsy to include a non Russian speaker in this setting.
Steve's post makes sense, these relations take time to develop. If she spends time with you every day than that is a hopeful sign.
If he came to visit several girls then I would agree with you. However, if he came
only to see her after exchanging emails, Skype, phone etc then I disagree with
you.
If a good girl invites a man to visit only her and they don't have good chemistry
then this is exactly what you would expect. A good girl usually doesn't abandon
a foreigner who came to see her. She spends some time with him, shows him
the sights etc but romance is out of the question.
The guy might mistake these gestures as leading to somewhere or that she is
coming around. 1000 movies and countless romance novels have been made
about this happening, but it never happens in the real world.
If the guy has any question then he should sit her down and have a super frank
conversation with her. Telling her that he needs to know exactly what is going
on in her head. However, don't put words in her mouth or project any feelings
because it's 99% likely that she doesn't have romantic feelings for him.
In my opinion, the smartest thing the guy can do is to move on, write some
letters and it's possible that he can find a good girl who is perfect for him.
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I wonder not so much about the purse strings but how The Dude envisions should a relationship develop what it will be in actual form. As I understand the prior contact before getting on the silver bird was somewhat limited. It does not sound like our hero was deeply in love before he arrived in Kiev.
Will this be a loving and nurturing relationship of equals or something based on an economic transaction?
On the other side some here will quickly shout scam without knowing fully the dynamics, that it is possible Dude does not want to be seen as a Rube. On the other side we do not know how the heroine spent The New Year perhaps with her babushka. That would have been fun! :-X
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A brief trip update. Pretty much all of the advice you gave me so far is helpful and true. I had dates with several girls but I have only met one so far, the one I had communicated with the most before the trip. I cancelled dates with a few others because I like her. She has been to the US once on a fiance visa. She says she didn't stay because her betrothed misled her. It all seems genuine to me and she seems very real. She is very pretty and sweet. The age difference is 24 years. She has no kids, but she does have a really cool little dog.
I went on a walking tour and met a British guy, with whom I had dinner last night. I am seeing "N" again in a few minutes. Yes it is cold, but I have come at a time when it is unseasonably warm, it turns out, so lucky there.
Things are quite inexpensive, but I have gotten taken a couple times by savvy tourist traps.
I think you messed up by cancelling the other dates. Meeting a mix of ladies would help keep your feet on the ground, learn more and use it as a barometer of how much you like lady number 1.
Agreed. Never should have canceled the other dates.
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Justadude,
I wish not to criticise..
I am a little flabbergasted at the girl though..
Ukrainian hospitality "demands" that this girl should have taken charge of you for NYE, taking you along with her to "Wherever" she was going/invited, introducing you as a visitor from the US to the country, and you would have been made welcome by all, that's the normal way of doing things for NYE in Ukraine...
You should never have been left alone to your own devices on such an important night..
This is something which you should reflect upon and treat the girl in a similar manner to that which she treated you..
:thumbsup:
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Just checking in to let you know I haven't forgotten about you.
Perhaps one or two more nearly identical statements that the NYE thing was a death knell and I think I'll have gotten it :dh: :)
Meanwhile, I'm continuing to see her.
Cheers!
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3. just because you come to meet a women in a foreign country it doesn't give you a right to immediately own her or be part of her social life and meet friends, that takes time.
:)
I believe right now the two of you are becoming friends. This can be a good foundation or it could go no where. It take time to see what happens.
There are a lot of train wrecks when there was not enough time put into the relationship and everything happened too fast. This girl maybe going slowly because of her first try was a failure. It most likely cause her a lot of emotional heart break. I think maybe you are getting too much advice from all of us and you may do better reading what is happening there each day and follow what you think best.
Only real advice do not bring her home until you know her very well and you are both completely in love.
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Just checking in to let you know I haven't forgotten about you.
Perhaps one or two more nearly identical statements that the NYE thing was a death knell and I think I'll have gotten it :dh: :)
Meanwhile, I'm continuing to see her.
Cheers!
Cheers mate! :BEER:
I think we can conclude that you're going into whatever this is, with both eyes open. And that's a good thing. :laugh:
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And the topic continues >>here<< (http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,26256.0/topicseen.html).
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Let's see some expect a dude who arrives a week before New Years Eve and has had casual contact with a woman from far away (Kiev) to take take care of his social agenda. They are spending time together each day, I assume she has a job and likes to pay her bills instead of hoping and waiting for some guy with a little blue book.
Perhaps the woman in question is careful, more so after visiting America on what turned out to a (false promise?). Perhaps she has seen enough BS from guys that makes her cautious.
Give it time I am confident things will be sorted out in time.
This 'adventure' is not easy and there is no one correct way to execute it. Certainly enough ways to muck it up.
Gotta agree ....
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Just checking in to let you know I haven't forgotten about you.
Perhaps one or two more nearly identical statements that the NYE thing was a death knell and I think I'll have gotten it :dh: :)
Meanwhile, I'm continuing to see her.
Cheers!
Keep it up!