Professional Daters - How To Identify and Avoid Them

[Jared2151]

 

LOL @ the term 'Dipchiks'.   I would have thought that it would have been reserved for the squirrelly women.

I have, upon occasion, been called something that sounds nearly identical to 'Dipchik'.

[msmoby]

Vladimir Zherinovsky was his name my wife tells me.

Oh, Bugger ! .. I was going to show off  my 'local knowledge' ..  He is also prone to throwing water over political opponents during debates..  

His problem arose with collection of this proposed tax. Russians do not need exit visas and fiancée visas are granted by foreign governments so they are unable to realistically track women exporting themselves.

NAW, his problem is being taken seriously enough to ever get enough votes to be a force to be reckoned with... THANK GOD..

[shakespear]

Vladimir Zherinovsky was his name my wife tells me. He said Western men were exporting prime "assets" out of Russia and it was fuelling their population crisis as those women were breeding abroad instead of in Russia. They were also not paying tax that might be used to fund old peoples pensions etc. He said that levying a tax on foreign men exporting Russian women would redress the balance.

His problem arose with collection of this proposed tax. Russians do not need exit visas and fiancée visas are granted by foreign governments so they are unable to realistically track women exporting themselves.

Didn't that lunatic dictator in Belorussia ban marriage agencies and set up roadblocks for western men who wanted to marry women from his country?  In that light, the idea that it could be done elsewhere in the FSU isn't as far-fetched as it sounds.

[Donhollio]

 Not that I am aware of Shakey. I came across a guy from  my city who married a Belarussian girl just last year.
She landed in Canada.  From what I know about the last dictator of Europe, is that he banned marriage agencys. Linda would be able to confirm this I would think.

[Manny]

My understanding is that foreign facing "marriage agencies" in Belarus are banned. Women overcome this by listing on foreign based sites of course. 

[mike64]

I wanted to share my own humorous story about my first contact with a professional dater.  It was back in April 2000 in Volgograd during my first visit back to Russia after my divorce.

I had utilized the services of two reputable agencies in Volgograd and my WMVM strategy was having some good success.  I did contact another agency called "Chance Agency".  Their approach was a bit different.  They asked me to send a photo of myself and a physical description of the lady I'd like to meet.  They would contact me with a list of ladies that wanted to meet me. 

A week or so later that came back with a picture of this young, fashion-model hot deyv that was basically the fantasy girl of my description that I provided them previously.  Buttocks length long wavy brown hair, steel cold blue eyes, fantastic figure, fashion-model pretty face and only 22 years old.  My 45 year old "little head" won that battle and we scheduled a meeting.   

It was a lunchtime date.  She was accompanied by an interpreter that the agency insisted I take along.  I suggested we go to a nice Russian supper club called Club Paris that offered a nice four-course "businessman lunch special" at the reasonable price of 190pyb per person.  She would have none of that and wanted to order something quite expensive from full supper menu.  It was only $35 so I said she should go ahead and order what she wanted.  She then told me she wanted the bottle of $200 french champagne.  I told her no, I wasn't going to buy that.  She started to pout like a spoiled child who didn't get her way.  I excused myself to use the bathroom and when I came back, there was the $200 bottle of champagne, opened and chilling on ice at the table.  She had ordered it while I was gone.  Before I could say anything she scooted over in the booth beside me beside me and started stroking and kissing my neck and shoulders, telling me how happy it made her to have this champagne and implying that she would show her "appreciation" later.     

I wasn't buying any of it.  I was totally pissed off.  During my first trip to the restroom, I had noticed that there was a connecting door to the kitchen and right next to that, an open door to the outside.  I told this succa that I'd left something in the bathroom and excused myself again to retrieve it.

So, instead of turning left into the bathroom, I walked straight into the kitchen and out the back door and on to the main street.  I hailed a passing ""gypsy taxi" and was gone from the scene of the scam in a matter of seconds. 

Yep, the old "dine and dash".   

I'm sure it was quite a shock to the lady when I failed to return and the waiter presented her with the bill.  Probably wasn't my best moment, but whatever happened she deserved every bit of the consequences.  Later I did call the agency to explain what happened and they seemed quite apologetic about the behavior of the lady and the interpreter.  I noticed they didn't remove the lady in question from their site however, so she must have been quite a money earner for them.   

FYI, both the agency and the restaurant are long gone from Volgograd. 

     

great story! lol

[mendeleyev]

RM have the advantage of knowing all the tricks and so the mealchiks, etc, aren't really as much of a pitfill for a local. However there is a type of lady they do watch out for, and so should WM. She is a Золушка (cinderella). She wants to be treated as a cinderalla, especially financially.

If you understand that the Russian word for Gold is золото...

and you see that a cinderella is a Золушка,

you can see the obvious.

[anjutka]

Just a few thoughts on this one:

1. You pick the cafe, go for something nice and moderate and if she refuses, then she might be a pro-dater (at least in my case this seemed to be true), if the lady wants to meet you, the location will not matter.

 
 

actually, in my case- location is matter ...for example if guy offer to have a  1st date in the park...then i ll refuse to go ....for me it will look like that the guy not prepared))))or..dont want spend money until he will not be sure about girl...or that he just some maniac who looking for sex..etc etc...etc...and its more difficult to run(just in case)))  from park then from the cafe )))))
so, location is matter.... just because its  shows guy's plans and tell sometimes generally about men ....

and btw, men...you are lucky to have different kinds of books where very well explained how to know prodater who is a woman.....but when its opposite ?)))))have no seen any book about men who is prodaters)))))   any writer here ?))))for  sure logic of prodate ad some behave are totally different, just because women and men behave totally different in same situations.....

anjutka I don't know of a book that teaches FSU women how to avoid foreign men who are looking sex or are prodaters but I'll bet this is an active topic on Antidate.org and it's in Russian.   

antidate?where all possible and impossible womens share their expirience?)))) no way..... i just need to know man's mind...woman's mind i already know too well

[anjutka]

or that he just some maniac who looking for sex..etc etc...etc...and its more difficult to run(just in case)))  from park then from the cafe

OK, your point is taken as I imagine it's hard to run with those heels, but given the condition of a few of the men that travel to the FSUW (old and overweight) you still might be able to outrun them  . 

btw, men...you are lucky to have different kinds of books where very well explained how to know prodater who is a woman.....but when its opposite ?)))))have no seen any book about men who is prodaters)))))

I think the term used here is a "Player" and not pro-dater.  Such a person has less to do with accumulating things from a date as they concentrate on just accumulating dates and conquests.  I'm sure you can find plenty of articles online, as this was just the first example I found when I Googled it. 

http://www.ehow.com/how_2297618_avoid-dating-player.html

Now the funny thing is, a player need not be a man as I have had dates here in my own city where at the conclusion I had the thought "I was just played". 

difference in words and  in actions between "player" and pro-date?))))..or...player is a man, and pro-date is for woman -but meaning about the same?

[Voyager]

I think the term used here is a "Player" and not pro-dater.  Such a person has less to do with accumulating things from a date as they concentrate on just accumulating dates and conquests.  I'm sure you can find plenty of articles online, as this was just the first example I found when I Googled it. 

http://www.ehow.com/how_2297618_avoid-dating-player.html

Now the funny thing is, a player need not be a man as I have had dates here in my own city where at the conclusion I had the thought "I was just played". 

difference in words and  in actions between "player" and pro-date?))))..or...player is a man, and pro-date is for woman -but meaning about the same?

I think the more common term for the man would be "sex tourist" 

[skiingandrunning]

difference in words and  in actions between "player" and pro-date?))))..or...player is a man, and pro-date is for woman -but meaning about the same? popcorn

I think the more common term for the man would be "sex tourist"

Talking about the differences between the two, I often think of a sex-tourist more in the context of someone who fly's someplace and pays for it (usually with someone young enough to be his daughter) while a player never has any intention to pay as that's part of the challenge.   Still both would be very similar to a pro-dater as none have any intentions to stay with the other long-term (both terms could be used with either sex).  So in a way it would be interesting to see the outcome if an experienced "Player" meets an experienced "Pro-dater".  I bet this is one situation where maybe both sides could be left smiling as they both could get what they wanted.   

[Voyager]

difference in words and  in actions between "player" and pro-date?))))..or...player is a man, and pro-date is for woman -but meaning about the same? popcorn

I think the more common term for the man would be "sex tourist"

Talking about the differences between the two, I often think of a sex-tourist more in the context of someone who fly's someplace and pays for it (usually with someone young enough to be his daughter) while a player never has any intention to pay as that's part of the challenge.   

To me "Player" is more of a neutral term, while "Sex tourist" has a negative implication. Certainly if the guy tries to get sex by misleading a girl into thinking that they are looking for a serious relationship are doing a despicable thing. 

[Rasputin]

To me "Player" is more of a neutral term, while "Sex tourist" has a negative implication.

It seems to me that player would presumably be attractive or have enough charisma to make a woman want to have sex with him. In other words, she would have sex with him because of desire, whereas with the "sex tourist" the woman would likely have slept with him in spite of the lack of desire.

[Voyager]

To me "Player" is more of a neutral term, while "Sex tourist" has a negative implication.

It seems to me that player would presumably be attractive or have enough charisma to make a woman want to have sex with him. In other words, she would have sex with him because of desire, whereas with the "sex tourist" the woman would likely have slept with him in spite of the lack of desire.

Agreed, but why would she sleep with the sex tourist if not for desire? Usually some deception I would think....

[mirror]

Everything what you describe here is like a table book for prodaters to look like an innocent new in an international dating girl. 

I learn how to be naive also.

[Rasputin]

Agreed, but why would she sleep with the sex tourist if not for desire? Usually some deception I would think....

There are two extremes: either he deceived her, claiming that he was looking for a wife, while he was only looking for sex or he was sincere but things did not work out and she then assumed that he was sex tourist. As is always the case, the truth usually lies somewhere between the two extremes.

[shakespear]

To me "Player" is more of a neutral term, while "Sex tourist" has a negative implication. Certainly if the guy tries to get sex by misleading a girl into thinking that they are looking for a serious relationship are doing a despicable thing. 

Oh I don't agree at all.

A "Player" is someone who is trying to get as much sexual contact from women as he can WITHOUT paying for it with either money or exchange of real relationship commitment.  He will use lies, deception, trickery, false promises and any other tactic possible to reach his goal.  He will promise anything and mean nothing so long as he gets laid.  Then he will dump the girl after he has achieved his goal and tires of the excitement of sex with her and move on to the victim.   

A "Sex Tourist" is only interested in sex with younger more beautiful women than he can attract in his own country.  He's quite willing to pay the going rate in the country he's visiting because it is a fraction of the rate for the same product in his home country.  He doesn't use lies or deception to get what he wants.  He's not looking for any long-term emotional commitment.  His method of persuasion is money.  The sex tourist is upfront about seeking a product and paying the appropriate price to obtain it. 

A "player" is a much worse person than a "sex tourist".

The woman equivalent to a "player" is a "professional dater".  She is someone who tries to maximize her own financial benefits from western men WITHOUT providing any emotional or sexual contact.     

[Rasputin]

A "player" is a much worse person than a "sex tourist". 

Honestly, I don't have much sympathy for women complaining about either players or sex tourists and don't really feel any pity for men whining about pro-daters. They all had the option of saying no.

The woman should ask herself: "Will I regret this in the morning if I do not get what I want (marriage, relationship, fur coat, whatever)?" If the answer is yes, then she should simply not sleep with the guy.

The man should ask: "Will I regret spending this money tomorrow if I do not get what I want (marriage, sex, whatever)?" If the answer is yes, then he should not spend the money.

Nobody is forcing them to do what they do not want to do, and if they are being forced, then there are laws dealing with that.

If the men and the women were to ask the right questions and act in a rational manner, there would be no need to split hairs trying to define differences between scammers, pro-daters, sex tourists, players, simple jerks, etc....

[skiingandrunning]

Honestly, I don't have much sympathy for women complaining about either players or sex tourists and don't really feel any pity for men whining about pro-daters. They all had the option of saying no.

Rasputin, good point and one that has been made by others, but we seem to forget it as we do things because we want (is it wise or not is another story) and therefore we need to always own up to the potential consequences. 

[Rasputin]

Rasputin, good point and one that has been made by others, but we seem to forget it as we do things because we want (is it wise or not is another story) and therefore we need to always own up to the potential consequences. 

The owning up part seems to be hard for some. I will be the first to admit that I have made my share of dumb mistakes, but have understood that there is no sense blaming somebody else for my foolishness.

However, what I believe is nefarious is the idea too often propagated that one must spend a lot of money not to be seen as "greedy." This IMHO is counterproductive. If a woman's love or attention must be bought, her love and attention is not worth much to begin with.

[Stirlitz]

Nobody is forcing them to do what they do not want to do, and if they are being forced, then there are laws dealing with that.

You are right but it is so nice and easy to have someone else out there to blame for your faults and trouble rather than your stupid self (which you have to admit too first).

[2tallbill]

actually, in my case- location is matter ...for example if guy offer to have a  1st date in the park...then i ll refuse to go ....for me it will look like that the guy not prepared))))or..dont want spend money until he will not be sure about girl...or that he just some maniac who looking for sex..etc etc...etc...and its more difficult to run(just in case)))  from park then from the cafe )))))
so, location is matter.... just because its  shows guy's plans and tell sometimes generally about men ....

and btw, men...you are lucky to have different kinds of books where very well explained how to know prodater who is a woman.....but when its opposite ?)))))have no seen any book about men who is prodaters)))))   any writer here ?))))for  sure logic of prodate ad some behave are totally different, just because women and men behave totally different in same situations.....

Anjutka, RW are well known for their BS radars. Sure there are guys who will occasionally get away
with something from time to time, but I really doubt that some man (especially a western man) is
going to fool you for any significant period of time. They might be able to fool some gullible 20 year
old girl, but I know that the odds of that happening to you are nearly zero. You would ask a series of
questions and catch him in his lies and he would look like a total idiot.

Men are simple creatures and while they might lie, very few are bright enough to get away with it.

Just my two kopecks,

Bill

[anjutka]

 
 
1 Anjutka, RW are well known for their BS radars.
 2..... going to fool you for any significant period of time.
   ......, but I know that the odds of that happening to you are nearly zero.

3You would ask a series of
questions and catch him in his lies and he would look like a total idiot.

 
 
 

thx for your kopeiki,Bill))))

1 whats that -BS radar..?.what came to my mind -  *snip*'s  radar)))))

2 well...may be you think that women with ages start to trust less ,or they dont listen any more men at all because they dont believe)))))...no no...with ages its became even worst))))))  and btw...does latvian are foreigner men or not?)))) not clear for me here)))))

3..yes...yes....but do you know...you should know))))only 1st  minutes guy look like idiot))))..for some its enough time just to create some super puper explanation and view of situation and bla bla bla....and at the end of discussion can be that he  did everything absolutely right and  correct))))...then for women takes time again to find something which proves that he was wrong)))))).....personally i always give 3 times to a men)))))....after 3d time i can veryyyy easy move on .....life

[Voyager]

Anjutka, BS radar = Woman can tell if the man is truthful or not (BS = from "Bull ")


Bill, I think it would be more difficult for RW to judge WM, just as we sometimes have trouble understanding them.  AW reactions would be different from RW perhaps?

[ladyUkr]

Interesting points of identifying prodaters  

Will tell it to my husband, he'll be excited, how fool was he to let me choose the restarants and take control on a menu He had such a chance to get rid of me by insisting on some cheap cafeteria(esp after long working day) but he didn't used it so now he is married prodater
But... I did enjoed the cake on our first date, that was becouse I had just returened from the previous date, wich had been quite full filling for the stomach