Romance Tours & Socials - Good experiences or bad?

[Voyager]

We have had a couple of new members ask about Socials, so I am curious to hear what experiences our members have had - both men and women.

Ladies - Would you go on a social? Do you know anyone who has?

Gents - Have you been on a Social? Would you try it?

Opinions?

I am thinking of going on a Romance tour this time and I have heard both good and bad things about these kinds of tours. Maybe with the help and expertise of these tour trip directors the men will be able to meet some nice girls. Then there are the socials, one advantage of these socials is that you have the opportunity to meet many women in a very short period of time versus going to a marriage agency and having to spend the time of setting personal one-on-one meetings with them.  Sure the Romance tour socials are not a perfect science but it seems like a good concept. The proof in the pudding will be to avoid the ladies with the not so honorable intentions.

Why not a Social?
Wouldn't it be a good way to avoid scammers?

You might want to start a topic asking about tours and socials, and read the existing topics in the archives.

There are very few men around the forums who met their wife that way. Ask yourself why that might be.

You might want to ask the women here if they would have ever considered attending a social or a tour - most will say they wouldn't dream of it.

[AnfieldRiot]

   I've never done one and don't plan it.

   I seriously find it hard to understand how this method is a reliable method of finding a real RW. The whole process is rather too informal and only helps to elevate the cost and time process. Perhaps if you start your search by going all in and taking a romance tour to begin with you might speed up the process of getting to know "the one" but I still find it tough to understand this method.

   Your killing yourself off as an individual and putting yourself at the mercy of the group of other's who are amongst you. All you need is a few "grenades" to be in the group to help bring down the whole atmosphere of you and your other travelling companions.

    While I can't say all trips are the same, any type of interest that I did have was totally washed away by watching the english lady who did the inside look at these tours. That fat lunatic with the wild laugh and broken mind killed it off for me and the anger management guy put the cherry on top.

    Seriously... what a waste of money these things are.... my respect to those who have found success, I admire you but you are seriously lucky given the parameters of this method.

[workedforme]

I attend a social when European Connections did socials. I used the "romance tour" as an avenue to meet my wife. Being an unseasoned traveler it cost me very little more than I could have booked the trip myself.

It has been 6 years since I went so I'm sure things have changed. I was well satisfied with the value. Each person had their own interpretor at the socials(and after but they cost a whooping $5/hr) so as said above the dorks couldn't cast a shadow on the normal guys(If any of us are normal!). There were definately some GTG's and a few with an agenda(marrying for reason other than love). I did meet several ladies that I would have pursued if things didn't work out with my wife!

[Turboguy]

I attended a total of 4 socials although the last one, Jack's tour, doesn't like to call his a social.

My first three were with European Connections when they did socials and were probably in 1999, 2000 and 2001.    Their socials were very similar to the ones done by AFA and others.   European Connections said their chief advantage was they held theirs in meeting rooms where AFA held theirs in night clubs.   They felt it was a more fitting atmosphere but I think basically they were the same.

I will start with the EC tour.   I had a blast.  Everyone enjoyed the social and they did a great job of taking care of everyone and holding their hands.   I hear a lot of comments that the men who go on tours are losers.  I don't buy that.  Most of the guys on the tours were pretty nice guys.   There were some who would have difficulty finding a good date here but there were many who were good catches.   After hanging out at forums where a lot of experience and ideas are kicked around another common denominator on the EC tour was there were a lot of naive guys who knew little except what EC told them.   Most everyone on the EC tour came back thinking they had found their dream girl.   None of the guys who I stayed in touch with really did end up with anyone from the tour.  Many of the guys on the tours have never been to the FSU or have only been there on a previous tour or two.   

As Workedforme stated we each had our own interpreter and she would bird dog for us.  Basically the guys sat at a table and scanned or walked the room.  The ladies stood or sat on the outer perimeter of the room.   We would find a woman who appeared interesting and send out terp to see if she wanted to talk to us.   It was very rare for a woman to say no.   Towards the end of the session we would pick the woman we liked the best and the interpeter would invite them to have dinner with us.   It was also very rare for a woman to say no unless she had already agreed to have dinner with another of the guys. 

The women tended to feel like they were at a cattle auction.   They all stood around waiting to be picked and I don't think they found the atmosphere that good.   Some women had road on a train for a day and came there and talked to no one.  Others were always at a table talking to someone.   I saw many of the women that I felt sorry for. 

To me, one of the biggest flaws in the big agency tours was the way they recruited the women.   Basically they would run newspaper ad's inviting women and even had signs out on the street, on telephone poles and "A" signs on the sidewalk inviting any women who wanted to come.  As I mentioned most of the men were pretty new to the scene and to dating RW.   I think that it was easy enough for scammers to figure out that there were a lot of suckers at these parties and that although some of the women were very sincere and were there looking for the same thing the men were among the attractive women there we a fair number of scammers and serial daters preying on the naive men who attended.   The first lady that I thought might be my "find" to the best of my opinion turned out to be a professional fiancee.   I think she traveled around going to these things and finding men to send her money for English lessons etc.  It did not take me too long to figure that one out.   

I had a great time on the EC tours.   I do think it is possible to meet a good woman that way but I think it is easier to waste a lot of time and money.

The last tour I went on was one of Jack's "First Dream" tours.    When I did that one I took my son along since he had a lot of problems finding good women and I was hoping to get him hooked on RW.   If I didn't take him I don't think he would have gone on his own.   At the time I was corresponding with someone who seemed very special so my efforts for myself were sort of half hearted.   I had not met the lady I was interested in but as we often say until you meet face to face you are just pen pals and I had experienced a few disappointing first meetings with women I had high hopes for.   I had a trip to meet the lady I had been corresponding with scheduled for a few weeks after the tour.   I figured I would go through the motions and consider anyone I met as back up plans in case my trip to Barnaul in two weeks didn't work out the way I thought it would. 

Jack does his tours a little different than the big tour agencies.   He limits his trips to 12 men.  He doesn't run ads or put signs out on the street.  All the ladies are from one of the local agencies or invited by the men.   It did not seem that there were many scammers and serial daters in the crowd.   Also every man meets every woman.   The women don't stand around the room like they do at EC and AFA tours.   They sit at a table with one man and everyone gets a chance to meet.  Every 15 minutes the men move to a different table with a different set of women.   I think it is a far better set up.    To me the biggest problem with the big agencies tours are the high ratio of scammers and the 80 - 20 rule working where 20 % of the ladies talk to 80% of the men and the others stand around bored. 

My son did meet one woman he was very interested in but in a follow up trip on his own it seemed to fall apart.   I had three ladies from my time there that seemed like really good choices and had my trip to Barnaul not worked out I would have made a follow up trip probably to Kharkov and Zap to spend time with a very beautiful concert pianist and a very cute hairdresser but my trip to Barnaul did turn out to be everything I hoped for and more and the lady I met there turned out to be the most wonderful woman in the world who I am now lucky enough to be married to for a few months short of 2 years. 

I would have a hard time recommending for anyone to go on a big agency tour.   I do think you can meet some good woman, they are lots of fun and an experience you will never forget.   I do think there are better ways to meet your future wife.   I would consider Jack's tour to be very worthwhile, particularly for someone new to traveling to the FSU.   The men tend to be less naive and Jack can teach someone a lot about persuing an FSU woman.

[shakespear]

I will start with the EC tour.   I had a blast.  The women tended to feel like they were at a cattle auction.  They all stood around waiting to be picked and I don't think they found the atmosphere that good.  Some women had road on a train for a day and came there and talked to no one.  Others were always at a table talking to someone.   I saw many of the women that I felt sorry for. 

My tour experience was with Anastasia in April 1997.  Like Turoguy, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  Here I was, one of 17 men surrounded by literally hundreds of fashion-model beautiful Russian women who were ALL interested in meeting me.  Quite a change from the social life in a dull, rural midwestern city of less than 10,000.

The socials were set up like parties; one each on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  The girls came into the Manhattan Club (at the old Russiya Hotel) in two shifts;  12-3 and 3-6.  There were 15 interpreters floating around the room so all you had to to was flag one over if you happened to meet a lady you particularly wanted to talk with.  They had a disco operating so you could dance if you wanted.  If you were comfortable "working a pickup bar" back in the states, you would have absolutely thrived at these socials.  Only a person that was completely socially inept would have failed to meet ladies in such an environment.  I had collected literally 100+ phone numbers and addresses of ladies I would have liked to contact if I would have had the time to do so.  But there are only so many contacts you can make in 10 days.       

You were literally a kid in a candy story.  Although I didn't care at the time, in hindsight, I also agree with Turboguy about the way the women were being treated.  These were desperate times in Russia and many of these ladies spent their last kopecks coming to this social hoping to meet a man that would rescue them from the hopelessness of life in Russia at that time.  Ladies were turned away at the door because they didn't have proper identification or invitation.  Many of these ladies were crying because they didn't have the opportunity to meet even a single western man - so they waited outside hoping that they could attract one of the men as he was coming or going from the hotel.  Most of the ladies who made it past the security checks at the entrance sat in small groups and never talked to a single western man.  They were obviously frustrated when they were forced to leave at the end of the shift to make room for the next group of ladies.  The more beautiful the girl, the more attention she got from the 17 guys that made up the tour.     

If memory serves me, I'd say the men on the tour were divided about 50-50.  Half were normal guys and the other half were pretty goofy or more than a bit strange.  I remember one guy who insisted on dressing in costume - 1920's style formal clothes complete with spats, tophat, cloak and cane.  All the girls kept whispering "chute" behind his back and the poor fellow never figured out that were laughing at him and calling him a clown.  Couple guys met ladies the first party and we never saw them again until they left for the airport 7 days later.  They moved out of the hotel and shacked up with the chicks they met during that time. 

I'll be the first to admit I behaved poorly on that trip.  I took the full advantage that my economic status allowed me during those depressed times in Russia.  I behaved like a sex tourist, plain an simple (see my previous posting about me and the two college students).  But I did start to make lots of valuable connections that would serve me well in my future visits to Moscow.  Guys like Doug Steele and Moscow Ricky. 

And payback is a mother.  I also met the first future Ms Sharp on that tour.  That story can be found in the train wreck section of this board.     

[2tallbill]

I have never been on a tour, but I did date a gal who was a terp
for a tour, she was pretty disgusted by it. I don't think that
meeting like that would be the way for me. I would probably
just find the cutest gal I had some chemistry with, which isn't
the best way IMO to find a soul mate.

[ladyUkr]

Socials are fun, it looked so increadibly stupid that it made me laugh few days after I went there.There are 10-15 men and about 80-100 gals hanging around. Gals behave differently, some dancing to attract the attantion some sitting alone at the table hoping that some of the men will look at them. Some attack men with all their tools.Men(99% americans) usually look very self-proud and seem to enjoy this women feast After Kiev they go around smaller hence- more entertaiment cities.

I went there few years ago with a friend. My aim was to practice English, my friend's to earn some money and hang out in the restaurants(we both were 2nd year students). Those americans were perfect company for both of us. In my case shit happened. It appeared that all these man made a discussions bitween themselwes about their "programm" and found out they dated same girl. They were so annoyed with the agency service, as it didnt provide enough of gals to them for not to fight for 1 They also insisted on me to make my choice, that was easy-I said goodby to both.

My friend had much more success with her guys, but unfortunately after touring around Vinnitsa & Odessa both her guys had lost in girls space

My opinion- if you wanna have some fun, look like dump american in dating girl eyes- you should definetely go there. If you have some more family- oriented goals- better choose some other service

[Manny]

Be cautious about some tour operators.

I went there few years ago with a friend. My aim was to practice English, my friend's to earn some money and hang out in the restaurants(we both were 2nd year students).

Did the agency pay you and your friend to attend?

[Mila]

Well, I've been on one social, i was interpreting for foreigners. All i can say, it looked so fake and silly. To my mind, it is not a good way to meet your future wife. If a man wants to have fun, yes, it is o'k, but nothing more. If i were a girl, who wanted  to meet a foreigner,  for serious relationship, i would never go on socials. It is embarassing. It is like a theatre, every person plays his/her part. Though, i've heard some examples of the couples who met and got married via socials, so, you never know.

[ladyUkr]

I went there few years ago with a friend. My aim was to practice English, my friend's to earn some money and hang out in the restaurants(we both were 2nd year students).

Did the agency pay you and your friend to attend?

No, man paid

[Voyager]

Well, I've been on one social, i was interpreting for foreigners.

Can you tell us which company organized the socials Mila & LadyUkr?

[civi68]

I did the socials in 1999 and 2001. Since then, I have used agencies and paid dating sites. I don't know about the socials now but I suspect they were better back when many women were interested due to the bad economy. I remember hundreds of women traveling to meet the 40 men on the tour in 1999 to Odessa. Most guys had sex on the tour and it felt like we had a lot of choices. So many women willing to do a visa without knowing much about the guy.
   In 2001 in Saint Petersburg, I noticed that less women seemed motivated and there for other reasons such as wanting money or a good time. Less guys had sex. Now, I don't mean that guys were just there for sex but women seemed more willing to try to get guys interested in them and wanted the guy to commit and sex was part of it. The socials may still be good for younger guys who can choose from women of any age. But for guys in their late 30's or more, the agency route or dating site may be better.
   What I do now is use dating sites and agencies as back-ups if the site women don't work out. I have been to Moscow twice and have found interested women. As for local Russian dating sites, I found most women were not interested in leaving Russia.
     I would find it hard to believe that today there are hundreds of serious women willing to attend socials to meet guys. They can find enough guys on the internet as well as local guys. The socials were good when the ratio of women was extremely high and the ratio of men looking was low.
     I used to think that quantity was important but I now travel to meet just a few women. With women possibly not being as motivated as in the past or more particular, getting some interest and commitment through letters is better than just showing up at a social.

[Blue Mariner]

I did the socials in 1999 and 2001. Since then, I have used agencies and paid dating sites. I don't know about the socials now but I suspect they were better back when many women were interested due to the bad economy.

Surely there is greater motivation than economics?

[mendeleyev]

Blue, sometimes (not all) Socials are arranged by local agencies on behalf of tour companies. Advertising includes fliers nailed to electric poles, in shop windows, on windshields, etc. The advertising is designed to draw attractive ladies out for a fun girls night out. At some socials ladies are filtered out (married, etc) but many don't care as long as she looks hot.

Some agencies require that the ladies fill out a profile and take a couple of quick photos in exchange for admission to the event. These ladies may be engaged, married, have no interest in a foreign husband, etc, but in lean economic times it's nice to have someone else buy the drinks and supply the food on a Friday or Saturday night.

Many a lady goes for the free drinks, free food and prizes they can win in games and contests. All they need to do is look pretty for the evening, laugh when a man makes a joke in a language they don't understand, dance with a few guys and then go home at the end of a free, fun evening.

Are they going to tell the men on the tour about the real reasons they showed up? Of course not. Дареному коню в зубы не смотрят (Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.)

[ladyUkr]

I just recalled that my mother attended 1 of the socials back in 90s, she was amazed with how that girls were running towards the table with tiny snacks  when they seved them:o

[Voyager]

I just recalled that my mother attended 1 of the socials back in 90s, she was amazed with how that girls were running towards the table with tiny snacks  when they seved them:o

Wow! Interesting.

What was her experience at the socials?

Was the company organizing the social American or Russian?

[ladyUkr]

It was AFA, experience was as awful as usual

[Voyager]

It was AFA, experience was as awful as usual

What city was it in?

[ladyUkr]

kiev, they say nowdays the most boring socials are here

[Voyager]

kiev, they say nowdays the most boring socials are here

Oh? And where are the exciting ones?

[2tallbill]

Twenty Four votes?

only 24 people have an opinion on this?

[Turboguy]

Heck the way I voted would probably make people think I was not capable of making up my mind.  My 4 votes were. 

I have been to a social
I have friends who have been to a social
I have a good impression of them
I have a bad impression of them

I am sure it would seem confusing that I had both a good and bad impressoin of them.   My bad impression is the like of EC's tours they used to have, AFA etc.   My good impression is Jack's tour.

[Eduard]

I did the socials in 1999 and 2001. Since then, I have used agencies and paid dating sites. I don't know about the socials now but I suspect they were better back when many women were interested due to the bad economy. I remember hundreds of women traveling to meet the 40 men on the tour in 1999 to Odessa. Most guys had sex on the tour and it felt like we had a lot of choices. So many women willing to do a visa without knowing much about the guy.
   In 2001 in Saint Petersburg, I noticed that less women seemed motivated and there for other reasons such as wanting money or a good time. Less guys had sex. Now, I don't mean that guys were just there for sex but women seemed more willing to try to get guys interested in them and wanted the guy to commit and sex was part of it. The socials may still be good for younger guys who can choose from women of any age. But for guys in their late 30's or more, the agency route or dating site may be better.
   What I do now is use dating sites and agencies as back-ups if the site women don't work out. I have been to Moscow twice and have found interested women. As for local Russian dating sites, I found most women were not interested in leaving Russia.
     I would find it hard to believe that today there are hundreds of serious women willing to attend socials to meet guys. They can find enough guys on the internet as well as local guys. The socials were good when the ratio of women was extremely high and the ratio of men looking was low.
     I used to think that quantity was important but I now travel to meet just a few women. With women possibly not being as motivated as in the past or more particular, getting some interest and commitment through letters is better than just showing up at a social.

This is amazing! You've been searching for over 10 years???

[Turboguy]

I searched for 10 years as well Eduard.   I started out in the snail mail days with some outfits like Club Prima and Latin-Euro introductions which are long gone.   I made my first trip in 1996, made two in 1998 and then did some European Connections tours and some follow up trips to meet the scammers I met on the tours.  There was one failed K-1 in there about 4 years ago and met my wife in 2007.   Where were you when I needed you back in the early days Eduard

[2tallbill]

I searched for 10 years as well Eduard.   I started out in the snail mail days with some outfits like Club Prima and Latin-Euro introductions which are long gone.   I made my first trip in 1996, made two in 1998 and then did some European Connections tours and some follow up trips to meet the scammers I met on the tours.  There was one failed K-1 in there about 4 years ago and met my wife in 2007.   Where were you when I needed you back in the early days Eduard

Some day you should piece together "The Odyssey of Turbo" for the trip report section.  I remember reading all about your trials and tribulations back in the day.
Your stories and others was part of what inspired me to take the plunge.