RW: go there or look for the ones that have already come here?

[logansrun]

I'm new to the forum, so this is my first 'real' post. I searched thru the posts but could not find anyone asking this, though I may have missed it. If so, my apologies. So, here goes:

About a year ago, I seperated from a 1-1/2 yr relationship with a very nice RW from Perth. When I met her, she had been here about 7 years and spoke good English (with an accent that simply melted me). At that time, dating experiences with American women were not good. Overall, I found AW to be a bit self-centered, arrogant, flakey and almost always overweight ..  . I take good care of myself and would be viewed as handsome (opinions vary I suppose) and physically fit with a confident appearance.

So when I met this woman and got to know her, I was amazed and impressed with her character and mannerisms and fell in love with this woman. Even began learning Russian in earnest. I really began to think she was 'the One'. Well, as it turned out, we had misunderstandings about expectations and cultural differences and I guess we didn't resolve them like we should have. In any case, I don't regret it and the experience taught me alot, especially Russian culture. Mostly that I relate much more to the traditional cultural norms of FSU and Russian women than AW.

I see posts here that deal mostly with traveling over there to find that wonderful woman, but what about finding them here; the ones that already have a green card or their citizenship? This was the case with me, but upon reflection I realized that part of the problem was that she began to exhibit those 'AW' qualities that caused me to turn away from American women in the first place. I met her by chance at an event and I think that it's very unlikely to happen again.

So, at this point I'm not sure if going there and bringing her back here, or finding her here will result in the same circumstance; that she will adopt an arrogant, stuffy attitude? Thoughts? Or would anyone know where an AM goes to meet RW in America (I'm in Houston, TX)?

[fireeater]

Welcome to the forum 

To answer how to locate one, try a language search on your local dating site for your area, if it has that function. Odds are she will have listed hers under that. Gives you a start even if she does not say it in written words. And all ages , some may also be daughters of ones already here.

Others, you may or may not find them on Elena's models, Free Russianpersonals.Ru, lucky lovers, or a few other sites. Search by country and they magically appear.

Do a web search for this particular dating. My city does have a Russian one that has both ones here, and over there. So you may have one as well.

Obviously the selection is larger if you go, rather then look here. But who knows where she is, till you meet. You could also look in both places. 
   

[RG]

I suspect you have much interesting reading coming up on this forum.

I can't speak to meeting a Russian woman locally, although I do have a Russian friend nearby, who is from Rostov - she won the green card lottery ages ago. 

I am curious as to what the difference in expectations was with your RW 'local' girlfriend, though?

[Voyager]

what about finding them here; the ones that already have a green card or their citizenship?

I met many 100's of RW before I ever went overseas... 

So, at this point I'm not sure if going there and bringing her back here, or finding her here will result in the same circumstance; that she will adopt an arrogant, stuffy attitude? Thoughts?

Some will, some won't - the tricky part is knowing which is which.  8) (or witch) 

Or would anyone know where an AM goes to meet RW in America (I'm in Houston, TX)?

Yes.

Portland OR
Sacramento CA
Seattle/Everett/Tacoma WA
Minneapolis MN
Spokane WA
Denver CO
Lincoln NE
Sioux Falls SD
Missoula MT
Moses Lake WA
Salem OR
Mt Vernon WA
Sarasota FL
Charlotte NC
Greenville SC
Syracuse Ny
Rochester NY
Springfield MA
Philadelphia PA
Sedalia MO
Tulsa OK

But that's only where I've been, there are certainly other places... 

NYC (Brighton Beach) has a huge community.

[ECR844]

You can add the following to the list:

Boston, MA
Brookline, MA
Revere, MA
Worcester, MA
Webster, MA
Woonsocket, RI
West Providence, RI
Brooklyn, NY

[cufflinks]

A good start is singles.ru (mamba network) 11.38 Million users and click English UK and then see the CWA City listings - many already here in all age groups and some in most all US cities large and small.  Of course college students probably too young to know what they want and of course many of the older ones have done the obligatory 2 year green card deal and are out looking for a bigger better stallion now that they have dumped the mule...  on that basis I would go to the less trodden cities in Russia or even Kazahkstan with relative propsperity that attract the ladies from the regions hamlets looking for an education, careers propects and a good husband.  My plan fwiw.

Not to say you can't find a good FSUW already here but in my experience they do become Americanized rather quickly for better or worse.

[skiingandrunning]

Logansrun, good topic!  

In my experience, I have twice met RW coming to America on the plane from Moscow so chalk that up to luck, but you can meet them anywhere as I have also met a few when I was on match.com.  

Now one thing I would advise to check on if you do meet one here, ask if they are still married as a RW seems to be more willing to start the hunt for the next victim before fully disposing of the current body (chatted with a few here who met that criteria, but were not advertising it).  

I agree with Cufflinks that they become Americanized quickly (e.g. they can become really LARGE).   I have not met that many, but 2 were twice as large as their pictures showed them to be and this made me think about a topic that has been discussed here a lot, how much will they change if you bring one over here?  With that in mind, if you do meet one who has been here for a few years, at least you'll have an idea of what that answer will be.

[cufflinks]

 With that in mind, if you do meet one who has been here for a few years, at least you'll have an idea of what that answer will be.

Excellent point

[brentc]

Or would anyone know where an AM goes to meet RW in America (I'm in Houston, TX)?

Yes.

Portland OR
Sacramento CA
Seattle/Everett/Tacoma WA
Minneapolis MN
Spokane WA
Denver CO
Lincoln NE
Sioux Falls SD
Missoula MT
Moses Lake WA
Salem OR
Mt Vernon WA
Sarasota FL
Charlotte NC
Greenville SC
Syracuse Ny
Rochester NY
Springfield MA
Philadelphia PA
Sedalia MO
Tulsa OK

But that's only where I've been, there are certainly other places... 

NYC (Brighton Beach) has a huge community.

Voyager,
Where in Denver can you meet them? I have heard that we have a large community, but haven't been able to find out where I should go to interact with them.

Thanks

[Manny]

Go there or look for the ones that have already come here?

For me, I would always go "there".

[jb]

brentc;

Here is a list of likely places where you might find large numbers of Russians starting about 10:00 AM Sunday mornings.

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=denver,+CO+orthodoz+church&fb=1&split=1&gl=us&view=text&ei=SmaMSovhEpCJtgfk8LHkBg&sa=X&oi=local_group&ct=more-results&resnum=1

[leeholsen]

Hey logansrun,

maybe I can help. I'm in Houston myself and dated 3 RW in the past 4 years here(this 1st one I worked with).

you might try looking up the russian community center in Bellaire. I have been told that there's a lot of Russian women that go to events there and a lot of American husbands that attend. I don't know if that would be a good place for single Russian women or not, but you might check.

you might also try the russian cultural center that publish the our texas russian newspaper. its down by kirby and they have russian events and concerts throughout the city. they had an art showing i skipped last weekend, but a russian band a few months ago and i went to that. it was pretty fun. i can get you the 411 on them if you wish. they also have language classes you might be interested.

other than that, i'm not sure how i find them; they just pop up. i had one RW accountant and one RW nurse; i guess i'm destined for a RW. 

[jb]

Lee,

We have several Russian friends living in the Houston area.  Have you checked out?

http://russian.meetup.com/cities/us/tx/houston/

[logansrun]

Thanks jb, yes I am a member of the Houston Russian Speakers Club and have attended a few of the meetings in the past and that's one good avenue. They dont seem to have any activity right now, though ...

Thanks Lee, I know about the Russian Cultural Center and have been there. I know about нащ техас the Russian paper (good practice). I tried a language session but was very unimpressed; I bought Rosetta Stone and it's good, so I use that.

[Voyager]

brentc;

Here is a list of likely places where you might find large numbers of Russians starting about 10:00 AM Sunday mornings.

jb, walking in cold to an Othodox church if you don't speak Russian is going to be a tough nut to crack.

Brent, do you speak any Russian?

I know about Denver because I met people from the Russian church there {Protestant, not Orthodox} The Orthodox church only considers you a "believer" if you are Orthodox, but the Protestant churches usually recognize all other Protestant denominations.

I would suggest a better place to start is by checking out Russian stores/restaurants in your area, they often have some local Russian newpspapers & adverts for Russian festivals, bands etc. Also see if there is a Russian cultural center in Denver.

I know that there is a fair number of Russians that live around the Arvada area.


I googled "Russian foods Denver"

There is a list of Russian food stores (website in Russian sorry)

http://www.ostrovok.us/Denver.php?id=mag

There is also listed a "Colorado Russian Center"

http://www.coloradorussiancenter.org/

Russian restaurants in Denver

http://local.yahoo.com/CO/Denver/Food+Dining/Restaurants/Russian+Restaurants


I would try these places before an Orthodox church. If you drop in a few times for lunch to a Russian restaurant and get to talk to the owner/manager, they may be able to give you some tips as to Russian events in the city

It's been my experience that most Orthodox churches are rather cool to non-members who don't speak Russian. (sorry)


BTW, this can be applied to all of the cities on my list, just google "Russian" and "foods" or "restaurants" and you should get some results. 
 

[leeholsen]

yes, jb; i checked out meetup a while back; but they didnt seem to have anything going on at the time. i will check it out again.

and logan; i'm with you. i looked into their language classes and figured i could progress faster on my own and at that time i had a russian gf which was a real help.

[brentc]

Thanks Voyager and JB.
No, I don't speak any Russian. I took a six week class about four years ago, but have been so busy that I couldn't keep up with it and now I don't remember any of it, don't even remember all of the alphabet. I need to find time to go again so I can start learning. My teacher also knew of some good places to meet women that avoided the circles where all of the women have become Americanized and sit around griping about their husbands/lives/circumstances/etc. I guess Denver has a large group of these women and she warned me not to let a woman I bring over become a part of those groups. She said there were some really good groups we could join - but most were in Colorado Springs. Don't know if this is still the case since 4 years have passed.

[Fo]

How you doing Logansrun ( I love that film, ).

Maybe I'm more footloose than most, maybe this might be a daft question but.....
Would you not consider getting work over there, moving over and doing what the girls do when they come here? Different set of problems sure, but maybe what's been good for them over there will be good for you. What do I know?....just thinking out loud mate.

You reckon Rosetta stone is good then? I was thinking of trying it.

[Boris]

How you doing Logansrun ( I love that film, ).

Maybe I'm more footloose than most, maybe this might be a daft question but.....
Would you not consider getting work over there, moving over and doing what the girls do when they come here? Different set of problems sure, but maybe what's been good for them over there will be good for you. What do I know?....just thinking out loud mate.

You reckon Rosetta stone is good then? I was thinking of trying it.

Fo,

I've thought about it, too. I feel very comfortable in Ukraine. The biggest problem is that there just isn't any support system there for foreigners like there is in the UK or US. When things go wrong you can count on zero help from the authorities there. And medical care......

[fireeater]

How you doing Logansrun ( I love that film, ).

Maybe I'm more footloose than most, maybe this might be a daft question but.....
Would you not consider getting work over there, moving over and doing what the girls do when they come here? Different set of problems sure, but maybe what's been good for them over there will be good for you. What do I know?....just thinking out loud mate.

You reckon Rosetta stone is good then? I was thinking of trying it.

Fo

The problems would be the same for a male going as it is for a female coming.  8)

I know somebody that did, call it the reverse scene. Met here, married here, yet now live in her country. Now has two children, still married, and will return this fall , (the whole family)
for his parents 50th wedding  anniversary party.

[logansrun]

How you doing Logansrun ( I love that film, ).

Maybe I'm more footloose than most, maybe this might be a daft question but.....
Would you not consider getting work over there, moving over and doing what the girls do when they come here? Different set of problems sure, but maybe what's been good for them over there will be good for you. What do I know?....just thinking out loud mate.

You reckon Rosetta stone is good then? I was thinking of trying it.

I would consider moving there but I am in a senior IT position here, so the payscale doesn't justify it. Yeah, Rosetta is pretty good, but it is missing the cultural elements (it uses American and Latino pics and symbols) so dont expect alot beyond the language itself; get other materials to do that .. I've collected several books, tapes, tutorials, etc for learning, but Rosetta is the main learning tool.