The World's #1 Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion & Information Forum - RUA!

This Is the Premier Discussion Forum on the Net for Information and Discussion about Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union. Discuss Culture, Politics, Travelling, Language, International Relationships and More. Chat with Travellers, Locals, Residents and Expats. Ask and Answer Questions about Travel, Culture, Relationships, Applying for Visas, Translators, Interpreters, and More. Give Advice, Read Trip Reports, Share Experiences and Make Friends.

Author Topic: Report from Penza Russia.  (Read 15666 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Report from Penza Russia.
« on: December 15, 2008, 05:57:43 AM »
I will be putting this report in several parts.

Day 1.

One day before Miss Penza and I had a very strong discussion and fight in a 3 way call with the help of miss Manny I did not knew if she will be there at the airport in Penza or not but I decided to go anyway.

Flight from Mexico City to Madrid took around 11 hours, later I waited at Barajas airport more time and the flight to Moscow with Iberia was delayed around 5 hours  >:( ... one guy at Barajas asked me if I were able to speak Spanish and from which country I was.... which I found absolutely ridiculous from his part  :laugh:.... finally I arrive to Moscow with 5 hours of delay..... the guy at Russian customs was taking all the time in the world to check the visas and passports... after customs one guy had my name a card he was the contact from the travel agency he spoke English and told me to hurry because the flight to Penza was about to leave........

I followed the guy from all to Saratov Airlines frontdesk..  I was sactioned with an extra tariff of 2500 rubles because I arrived so late... the guy told me it was the fault of Iberia (which it was) so gave an extra copy of the facture in order to complain to Iberia later.

Nobody spoke English at Saratov Airline's .. there were 2 women, one redhead and one blonde, the redhead was very angry because I did not speak Russian  and wrote something in a paper, he wanted an extra 500 rubles. After one show of check in the luggage, the blonde took me and guide me to the security gate in order to pass to the gates. In the gates a old man, he was very  very rude and was very angry because I did not spoke Russian, he cursed me in Russian and said a lot of insults one of the made me very angry because I understood that.. he said: what are you doing in Russia if you do not speak Russian.... this made me angry,  after 2 days of no sleeping and bad eating I was very weak to fight this old man (not that old maybe 45) but I thought what the heck ... if will not tolerate this attitude from him... so I started to counter his insults in Russian with English and Spanish insults.. at any moment the discussion was about to develop into a physical fight so the women there took me and told me to hurry to the gates while they were checking the other guy in the security gate.....

I followed another redhead through the gates with my baggage (3 very heavy suitcases by the way) I was not at my best and I had a lot of problems with my luggage so I could not go as fast as I wanted, after arriving to the gate I and another old man got into a truck right to the plane. This old man felt sorry for my I think as my desesperation in my face was obvious for not beign able to find one single person who spoke English or any other language that I knew (Spanish, French and German).. after carrying my luggge into the plane the old man started talking with my in Russian.

The plane was the most gray and modest I ever seen, not even in MEX I saw such a modest aircraft and most surprising it was able to take off and flight in a normal  way I thought it could fall at any moment but no.. it managed flight. The old man said some words in order to calm me and asked me why I was going to Penza after discovering it was because of a Debushka he smiled and continue talking...by this moment I felt absolutely miserable because I thought there was no motive to suffer in such way only because of a girl .. so I felt the greates idiot in the earth... The woman at the plane served some candies and water (I asked without gasa jeje) after discovering I was not able to speak Russian she smiled and say a few words in English.. sadly she was not fluent in English but she knew some phrases and words

After the plane arrived into Penza this kind old man help me with some luggage and guide me through the airport of Penza in order to recover my other baggage in that part she was waiting.  I saw her and she was so much taller than she claimed to be, I think she is 180 (she said she was 175) she was wearing a red coat and boots so she looked quite impressive , I am not small and I was wearing snow boots and she was almost my height (I am 185). She was with another guy (the translator) who was also very tall (my height probably) I gave her some Spanish Chocolates and giver her a kiss in her check. The kind old man said something to her about waiting more baggage she said ok. After recovering the rest of my baggage we went out she called her grandfather to pick us and asked through the translator the she wanted to take me to her home to taste a dinner of her mother. I was not at my best, without sleeping 2 days and my eyes red as I were stonned,  without shaving and so on.. I told her to please to the hotel and tomorrow have the presentation... she agreed but it seemed she did not wanted that...

Arriving at the hotel  (Penza Hotel) the translator (who is the son of her professor of English, a guy in her twenties) asked me if I needed help with the registration of the visa I told him that I will be fine on my own (I need the help but I did not wanted) later as I found nobody spoke English at the front desk of the hotel but I manage to get the registration visa process and check in in order to go to my room.......

Miss Penza looks very different in her photos in a positive way, so much taller and pretty, her photos don't do her justice.

By the way the Hotel is not a 3 stars Hotel I will give it 1 star and it's generous, the quality and quantity of the services are very low even for Mexican standards (which are so much lower than th  European ones) I will complain but the prices at the hotel are not cheap (they are very expensive indeed) with that money I could have buy another 2 way ticket from Mexico to Russia... .anyway I did spoke about money in front of miss Penza, I told that to miss Manny one day before in the last 3 way..

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2008, 06:52:05 AM »
Day 2.


I called Miss Penza in the morning and somebody told me she was in the school to call back after 3 pm which surprised me a little one of the reasons because I was going to be in Penza only 1 week was because she told me she was going to ask permission from her college in order to be abscent, well I thought maybe they denied her the permission so I waited until 3 pm.  By the way I have the Russian visa for 1 month (until January) but in the immigration card I put I was leaving the 16 December  so I do not know if I can stay more time without having problems.

Later I received a call from her at 3:24 pm, I did not understood what she said but I heard the words taxi so I took a take and headed to her home. After arriving her mother was very kind with me as she knew me for a long time and told me that miss Penza and the translator were going to took me at the hotel .. so asked me where was her?? I did not knew obviously. Her mother figured the rest and called her to miss Penza cell phone telling her I was in her home already. I gave her mother some roses and a present I also have presents ready for every member of her family  (I had also my own pair of Slippers by the way in order to go inside the house).  Her grandmother was also very nice and polite with me I gave her one present and after playing with the cat for a while she guided me to the bath to wash my hands. Later she showed me photos of miss Penza when she was just a little girl. It seemed her mother (and her family in general) already knew me for a long time and they were not indifferent, they threated me very very well.


After Miss Penza and the translator arrived the translator told me they were very impressive because I managed to arrive to Miss Penza House without beign able to speak Russian, I told him to not be surprised because if I manage to arrive to Russia on my own the rest will be not that difficult....  I gave miss Penza a nice dress (Mexican souvenir) and later a dictionary (Spanish- Russian) and a phrase book (Russian-Spanish) she said thanks (in Russian) and gave me 2 kisses in the checks she seemed pleased . Her granfather arrived and also the grand grand mother I gave presents to them aswell. Me and the translator helped with putting the table, and I tried to be as polite as possible helping them all, they served a quite impressive Russian dinner with many dishes, wines and so on. Miss Penza got to change her clothes very fast she putted a formal  blue dress and stockings with some necklaces and put some make up in her face in a very fast way... then she proceed to sit next to me. They reserved 2 seats which seemed to be somehow special for the location and the size one for miss Penza and the other for me, they started with the toast and then proceed to eating (I told them I was taking antibiotics so I could not drink to much) she served me chicken with some vegetables, I am not a very fan chicken eater but I ate everything in order to not offend them.  Later she served me a soup with vegetables and meat I ate them all. I always asked her if she wanted more juice or wine and then proceeded to serve her.

Through the translator her grand grand mother started saying that miss Penza was a great girl, that she was a piece of gold and many other guys wanted to be introduced to her family like I was but she rejected them all and did not wanted to present them to her family, I told the translator to tell them that I knew that and that was the reason because I was there. She said if I hurt her (miss Penza) I will deal with her. Later in the dinning the family asked me questions through the translator and her mother (which was very nice and polite with me by the way) asked me several question. Her grandmother told me that she wanted me to eat until I exploted... miss Penza only smiled and started taking with the translator in Russian what it seemed to be local jokes because they were both laughing and smiling to each other in a very suspicious way.

After the dinning time I helped to put the table back in the kitchen but not before thanking them all and saying it was all delicious (in Russian) because it seemed they put a lot of effort (and money) in such an impressive number of dishes. They went to their rooms and the translator turned on the TV he was sitted and I was as well, miss Penza did not have a seat so I offered her mine, so they both were sitted and I was not but I was nearby them. I started discussing stuff with the translator mainly politics after talking miss Penza said she wanted to introduce me to her collegues and friends later and said OK.. the translator was leaving so we can chat with more privacy for a while (4 hours have passed) I paid him (for today and the last day) and made plans for the next day he was supposed to pick me an the hotel (but later the plans were canceled because I felt sleep for 12 hours). So after he leave I was alone with miss Penza and she invited me to  her room in order to see her computer, Skype contacts and mainly many of her photos (she has dozens and dozens of photos) she changed again her clothes because she was in pijamas I spent the rest of the time watching her photos, while I was sitting in the computer she was in her bed lying eating some seeds with salt, time passed and it was about more than 10 pm and I her mother and grandmother told me it was very late so I needed to leave which I did. That ended the second day there in Penza.

In every visit later I gave roses (red and in uneven numbers to her when I saw her at home again, and I was planning to give her one different gift each day)

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2008, 07:10:09 AM »
Guys this is not day 3 report.. .I am just waiting for Miss Penza to show up.. its 5:00 pm here in Penza so I will know what will happen with this if we continue or not.... last time I saw her was yesterday after  the  day in her Dacha at 5: 55 pm (with her grandfather and grandmother). I will continue the report after knowing the final decisition (whether its a good or bad one)

I've asked her (with the help of a ectaco translator about this, and she said it was a very important question but she was unable to answer me because she needed to talk with her mother first as her mother's decistion was vital, she was unable to answer before speaking ot her mom she asked me if I wanted to come back here or not after asking her more or less the same question.  She usually shows up between 3:00 and 5:00 I've called her to her home and her mother said something I did not understood but looks like she is not at home, I do not want to call her to her cell phone I prefer to wait.  She and her family have been very very kind and polite with me but it could only be because I am his guest and they try to be polite only with no further involvement . According to Manny's book if there is no sexual involment it can mean the girl it is not really interested and this is the case, but I did not wanted to bring any sexual topic in her presence (not even tried to kiss her in the mouth) because even she has some weird behaviour (odnoklassniki, local TV dating shows in which she was a candidate as a potential date for a guy among other girls which I saw part of one by the way a repetition at her dacha only a flash but it was enough to make her blush) despite all that she seemed to be more or less a conservative girl and in order to show respect to her and her family and I did not wanted to made any sexual advance so I leaved it up to her until now and nothing happened.. but she gave me a lot of others ways of attention and caring that leaved me impressed so I do not know what will happen next but I am ready for what it will be.

By the way I did not acted in a greedy way, I paid everything in the dates with a smile (even gave her a new digital camara she wanted).. and treated her and her family with all the respect possible and I did not became jealous of the translator (who is a very good looking man) she just called I am going to meet her at her home (which is far from the hotel by the way). I will update this in a few hours


Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 16577
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2008, 10:26:19 AM »
I hope Link has got over his jet lag by now..... I am itching to read the next bit.  :reading:

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2008, 02:40:42 PM »
I am writing this from Spain, my laptop got a virus in Russia and it damaged my OS  :D I hope it has solution once in Mexico....

The rest of the history is very complicaded as Miss Penza gave me no answer because according to her he was unable and needed to think more about it.  Maybe later I would have to ask Miss Manny help to discover the reality of her impression as I think she was wheter declining in a polite way or just was ambiguos but still with an interest.

Guys I really will appreciate your commentaries about this as I never understand her, (Miss Manny knows her better) and I got severe emotionally damaged (not kidding). I will put a little resume so I can get some commentaries from your part and later I will write the full details.

Some details from her part (and her family) that really impressed me:

She always was worried from feeding me quite well, always telling me to eat and to no be shy, even she got her hand almost burn (and her pants wet as she threw the water from the glass I later helped her to get dry) but she did not allow me to touch the glass with hot water.

One day she has an exam so asked me to leave quick after telling her I arrived late because the taxi driver got lost she went outside with me to wait for a taxi but it was freezing and she was wearing besides of her bra a little t shirt of pijamas and she was freezing (I sensed from touching the skin her arms) I offered her to give my jacket (3 times) and she said no the four time I offered I got my jackt off and she yelled Niet, she prefered to got freeze rater than allow me to do it, after the taxi arrived she spoke with the driver and paid him (with my money of course) after that day she was the one who arrived at the hotel (except last day) because before that I was the one who arrived to her home (with roses and presents all the time).

When mi coat got dirty with her cats hairs she cleaned it with her own hands.

She allowed me to be in her room (and appartment and dacha) with total freedom, she even showed me her computer and almost all of her photos and skype contacts.

Some aditiona stuff:

I always paid from everything and never complain (as instructed to by fellow members) she quickly got in power of my wallet and admistrated the money (some times gave a waitress a fat tip...mmm) in such a way a never seen before.

One day she arrived at the hotel (saturday) with a friend who was supposed to speak german to serve us a translator, I later discover her friend did not spoke more than a few words but well, we went to a pizza to eat and she wanted to go shopping, later I discover she wanted me to buy her a new digital camara, the camara costed  around 7000 rubles so we went to the cash machine for money, she went to get the camara but she wanted also some fancy accesories that costed 1000 rubles I could have buy her a more expensive camara but not that day since I had slightly more than 8200 rubles and the rest in Euros. Despite that she decided to buy the camera and the accesories that costed around 8000 rubles... I thought you can say goodbye to the debit card I had for you (I got one new special for her)  if you are going to spend money like that.. I did not told her about the card... I could have buy her a more expensive and better camera the next day but I did not liked that she leaved me only with 200 rubles (because the rest of my money was in euros) when the cash machine did not gave me more money for that day because of policies of my local bank.. I did not liked that attitude....th next day we went to change the euros anyway with the help of her grandfather


I will write quick about the final day i...

I went to her home and her mother and grand mother kindly offered me a delicious dinner
I asked them later about the opinion of the relationship and told me (with the help of the electronic translator) that we should finish our studies first which I agree (it was my first concern anyway) and later when i asked her if I could return to Penza later she told me that we will solve that before summer.

Later we went to the bowling with her friend Anna (not her real name) we went to the bowling with Anna in the day 3. Anna was a very nice and friendly girl (taller and prettier than Miss Penza but do not tell her ok?) we were playing bowlings and she wanted to eat Miss Penza asked me if I agree to buy her friend dinner and I said ok. After bowling we went to a night club (a small one) I told them I did not liked night clubs
because in Mexico they are synonym of troubles (drugs, deads, crimes and so on) Miss Penza told me that this was Penza and not Mexico so not to be worried.... I was obvioulsy uncomfortable in the club... later I relaxed a bit .. they ordered some drinks and Miss Penza got a call from ex class mate who was getting married, after some time in the club it was obvious they were no extrangers to clubbing as her friend Anna told me later that knew some biggest clubs but they were  closed cuz it was monday. 

After relaxing the started to play and I joined ... I remember that someone told me if a girl it is not interested she will reject a kiss, and since she seemed not to be extrange in the clubs I thought I will try otherwise other guy less shy will do it anyway.  I told her friend that I was going to do something very stupid she asked what?? I told her about give miss Penza a quick kiss, she told to do what I want.. so I gave a very  very quick and  light kiss in the mouth and later holded she did not rejected it but seemed uncomfortable, her friend anna was very happy to see that, and told me that I did good that after all what happened with her friend it was the most logic and natural thing to do.. I asked Anna  after they returend from the toillette that I thought i did something wroing because Miss Penza seemed vey unconfortable .. she told me to not be worried that I did the right thing and her friend was fine... I asked Miss Penza with the help of the translator (3 times) if she feeled uncomfortable because otherwise I will stop holding her.. she said it was ok but she did not liked kisses in the mouth (the first woman I hear to say that..unless they do not like the guy it is a very suspicious answer) the exclassmates arrived and we went out.

After meeting to the exclassmates the leaved me in front of the hotel and I asked miss Penza I wanted to chat with her a few minutes we went inside and I asked her if I have offended her because it was not my intention she said it was ok, but her body language was telling me the opposite (that she was uncomfortable and pissed). I asked her that I have provided her with facts and not only with words how serious I was about her so I thought I deserved an honest answer from her part.. she again did not wanted answer just told me she will have tomorrow a difficult and heavy day then yelled and said ya hachu spat (i want to sleep as you know) and her friend were calling her to the cell phone over and over.. then I said I wanted to asked a last question then when I saw she went outside straight to the elevators .. I asked her (with the electronic translator) that what we will become?? unknow people,... just friends.. more than friend.. or not even that?? she said something about continue correspondence and gave a kiss in the check which I did not correspond because she refused again to gave me a clear answer I wanted to say I will not wait you forever (but obviously I did not spoke Russian).

Because of her body language (she seemed very uncomfortable and pissed) and her attitude (avoided a clear answer and just wanted to get out as fast as possible) I thought it was over ... suddendly I remember about some forist telling me to learn a hard lesson and not to give everything for a girl who I did not know quite well... it was 12 am and I got no sleep until 3 pm... at 5 pm (the day of my flight) a surprising phone call wake me up.. it was Miss Penza which was at the front desk of the hotel she was there to pick me up to leave at the airport with the help of her grandfather.... one of the constanst of this girl is that I never know what to expect since I know her.. when I am sure about something she does the opposite like in this case..... it was snowing (there was no snow the week I was in Penza) and her help was really useful to leave the hotel (as nobody there spoke English just 1 person of the whole staff and she was not always availabe according to her shift) she guided me to the car and I asked her this was not necessary.......she told me it was necessary and she was not going to discuss with me for that...

She was wearing glasses she knews I like very much how she looks with glasses (but she doesn not like to use them often) after arriving at the airport she helped me with the staff at the checking since I was not  able to speak Russian, again I asked her with the translator to tell me if she wanted me to return to Penza and continue this or not... that it was very important to me to know.. she gave me the same answer that she was unable to give me an answer for the moment and that later after thinking she will let me know..... after I got inside the gates I looked and she took her glasses off when she thought I was gone so she wear them for me.....

I really do not know what will happen next.. her family seems to be very nice and really adores me but I am not sure about her since her behaviour its always difficult to translate.. maybe she was very nice and gave me so much attention because I was her guest and she was beign polite only with no further involvement ... maybe her attitued was a polite way of saying I am not interested... maybe not... but I will like an honest and clear answer or maybe someone who helped me to discover her real impression (Miss Manny can help for example) because I think I did not leave anything undone from my part and I gave everthing for her so I can sleep calm at night ... it takes guts in order to go to Russia alone without beign able to speak the language and in winter. just for fullfil the word gave... so I will like know her real impressions but she refuses....and only acts in a very strange way (as always)

Guys what are your impressions? What are your thoughts? Should I ask for Miss Manny help in order to her to speak with Miss Penza? I never ever imaginated that someone I meet through internet and first did not paid much attentino could become so significant

I will continue to update the full report once again in Mexico and got my laptop repared (or rent a PC in a cafe)



Offline mendeleyev

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12849
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2008, 04:57:32 PM »
Link, it's a tough thing to post a report so quickly after the trip, especially when it left you confused at times.  Regarding the lady, I think that you should have Manny's wife talk with her alone, woman to woman and then give you some guidance on how to proceed. 

Other than the lady, as you "decompress" tell us more about your impressions of Russia, your experiences with food, travel, transportation, people, and the impressions you felt on the trip.

Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 16577
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2008, 05:30:21 PM »
Also relevant - and it's up to Link to say so if he wants - is their respective ages. Hers especially.  (And no, he ain't 30 years older.)

I don't know much detail about his situation (as my wife won't gossip - even with me - about guys she works with) but I do know their ages (ish) and I think it is very relevant to some of her behaviour. I think advice proffered might differ if Link chooses to disclose their ages.

Offline Paul

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4141
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2008, 05:34:41 PM »
Ouch, it doesn't look like things went too well, Link (I'm very sorry about that). Your lady friends willingness to accept a $300 camera, and her inability to give you a definite answer regarding a second meeting should be a huge cause for concern... add your comments about her body language and lack of affection, and I would say that she is not someone I personally would keep trying to pursue.

Offline workedforme

  • Member
  • Posts: 268
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2008, 06:37:13 PM »
IMO she is out for what she can get from you. No way she's attracted from your description. Expect her to lead you on and ask for help.

Offline Paul

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4141
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2008, 06:53:02 PM »
Also relevant - and it's up to Link to say so if he wants - is their respective ages. Hers especially.  (And no, he ain't 30 years older.)

I don't know much detail about his situation (as my wife won't gossip - even with me - about guys she works with) but I do know their ages (ish) and I think it is very relevant to some of her behaviour. I think advice proffered might differ if Link chooses to disclose their ages.

Hello to all of you:

I'm obviously new, I'm a 24 y.o. Mexican guy, college student, able to speak 4 lenguage (Spanish mother tongue, English, French and some German) sadly I don't speak Russian but I'm planning to learn it in the nearest future....

...The primary age rank of girls I'm looking for between 18 and 25 but I have no problem if I find a nice lady who is older than me...

Offline cufflinks

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8630
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 1-5
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #10 on: December 16, 2008, 08:19:48 PM »
Link:

I sent you an email to your yahoo account - I think you will find it very interesting - please keep it a secret.

Now you are a veteran at only 24 years of age - You are now a worldly man to be admired for your spirit of adventure and courage to travel to another land to meet a woman whose language you do not speak - eventually you will learn to exude both confidence and an "in-control" attitude no matter the situation. 

My instinct is that Miss Penza will not be the woman you take as your one and only but YOU took the first trip - next trip you will be a real veteran and once you study the Russian language a bit more and gain a bit more experience and discover the secrets I have shared with you - you will carry yourself with confidence and instead of asking the woman "what she thinks" and "if she sees a future with you" and or "if she was offended or her feelings hurt" - you will be the man in charge and living large and learn to both read, manage and control her actions and body language no matter if you are in Mexico City, Monterrey, Moscow, Kiev, Penza or New York City.

The next Russian "movie star" you pursue will not know that you are even pursuing and SHE will be the one chasing you as the true Conquistador of her heart, soul and dreams of what love and life could be with a real man like you.

Bravo Senore!  ... I often mix up my Italian with my Spanish!  (I am told I speak spanish with an Italian accent - not too bad for a gringo  :smokin: )

Ciao Bello!

...Mike "Cufflinks"

Online Herrie

  • Tech Group
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1898
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia (Born in Uzbekistan)
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #11 on: December 16, 2008, 10:54:50 PM »
Link, thanks for your TR. I always enjoy reading TR's.

My gut feeling is that there was no chemistry (from her end at least) and she was just being polite.

It's always difficult to judge from just a story (not knowing to much about the 2 people involved), but it might be worth to have Manny's wife to have a 'final' conversation with her to figure out what the 'deal' is.

Offline Jared2151

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1278
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #12 on: December 17, 2008, 07:17:48 AM »
I would say our man Link is out the price of a digital camera and a meal or two.
(throws flag)

Link, you already know her answer.  It's a tough pill to swallow.  At least now you can call yourself something that I can't call myself yet, a veteran.

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2008, 08:02:53 AM »
Do not have much time.. she is 19 and I am 24 (she claims to be 18 but is 19). Will write later I sent a email to Miss Manny to confirm the negative of her.

Offline fireeater

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3712
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Dating
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2008, 09:36:34 AM »
Do not have much time.. she is 19 and I am 24 (she claims to be 18 but is 19). Will write later I sent a email to Miss Manny to confirm the negative of her.


Link whether she is 18, or 19 is probably not that important. Either one I would question whether she truely knows what she wants out of life. Most at that age are still defining who they are, let alone think about marriage and moving to another country. You are only 24 what were your thoughts 5 years ago. I doubt it was about getting married.   

But I do have to say I have seen more romance between two high school students, then what you have stated here so far. And they had no intention of marrying and life of the realationship might make 3 months if lucky before finding another they fall in love with   :chuckle: 

You did have some doubts about her, from your previous posts, before you actually went. Now you have something to base those doubts against to see if they were correct then. And if so you now have some more knowledge for the next time.  :)



Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 16577
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2008, 01:48:18 PM »
whether she is 18, or 19 is probably not that important. Either one I would question whether she truely knows what she wants out of life. Most at that age are still defining who they are, let alone think about marriage and moving to another country. You are only 24 what were your thoughts 5 years ago. I doubt it was about getting married.   

That was my point above really. She is too young and thus prone to be flaky. We don't know her previous experience with men and relationships, it could be very minimal. She is still learning to be a woman.

The camera incident could be explained as she may believe the typical rumour that "all foreigners are rich" and believed it was a meaningless amount to a rich foreigner. (And it wasn't a fortune after all was it?)

Remember, this was not a 30 year old pro dater from Odessa, Kiev or somewhere else with a lot of foreign foot traffic, this is a teenage girl from Penza. Penza does not attract too many bride hunters. They were both treading new ground.

For me the jury is still out on her motivation, I doubt she is the woman for Link either way. I guess he will know better after they have spoken now she has had time to reflect.

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2008, 01:53:52 PM »
I am finally in Mexico in my final destination I just arrived.  

I forget to say she and her family bought very nice gifts for me and my family, sadly the wines were confiscated by customs. They family treated me very well I feel I still owe them, whether in their house or in their dacha they always gave delicious food and kind attention. I just have the feeling she has been polite only and never had a further interest, that's why I've asked miss Manny help to discover the truth, but I think it will be a confirmation only of what you guys and I think. I guess asking for an honest and clear answer it is not much. I arrived very tired but it is nothing compared to the emotional aspect I am worst that area but whatever it is my fault for beign so naive.




Online andrewfi

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 17787
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
    • Articles About Almost Anything!
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2008, 02:12:31 PM »
I think that you know the answer.

However I just had a word with my companion, asking for her opinion as to what kind of a connection they had as potential marriage partners. I laid on her 18/24 together for several days. 'Good girl' assumed.

When I told her that they had not had sex and, unless I missed something, nothing that might be thought of as being on the way to a shag she smiled, hid face in hands and giggled.

No, there is nothing there.

In her opinion if they were together for a week and things got nowhere in that time she does not like him. She might like him, but she don't like him.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online Herrie

  • Tech Group
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1898
  • Country: nl
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia (Born in Uzbekistan)
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2008, 02:40:09 PM »
Link,

Don't call yourself naive.

It takes a lot of guts to take the step to visit her. Too bad it didn't work out, but if you wouldn't have met her, you wouldn't know!

You probably learned a lot from the whole experience and you can probably make a lessons learned for a next time.


Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2008, 05:08:02 PM »
I will continue the report:

Day 3


This day before arriving to the house of Miss Penza I passed (as always) to purchase some roses. This time the taxi driver took me to a shop even more retired than the last one where I went last time. After arriving to the shop the taxi driver took me inside the shop and helped me to buy the roses. The taxi driver asked me if the roses were for a Debushka and I only say da. After arriving to the house of miss Penza I had problems with opening the door because I need a security code or to call to the house directly I had problems so he helped me calling. Later I found that the taxi driver was a friend of the mother of miss Penza.

Her mother and grandmother served me some delicious meat with potatoes and with some souces and some honeycombs for dessert. She told me to eat and do not be shy.  Her grandfather arrived and showed me a big fish he caught. She say she ate already but later we will be going to the bowling with her friend Anna from odnoklassniki (the only female in her contacts by the way), she seemed to be a close friend of her. After I ate we went to her room and he showed me her computer and some more photos, she took me a photo with her cell phone (which is even more advanced and fancy than mine by the way) and told me to gave me her old cell phone so she could ring to me at any time. I pretended I did not understood what she said I told her (with the help of the electronic translator) that I will buy a new cell phone later. By the way for what I saw in her computer she is an expert in software, she uses some programs that I found very interesting and quite advanced for a 19 years old.

Later we took a taxi and we went to the bowling. In the bowling after giving the coats to other person to keep them. She showed her Russian passport to the security guys and told them I was with her and they let us pass. By the way in Russia I always carried my passport, visa and migration card just in case but I found several policies and soldiers and for some unknown reason they never ever asked me for my documentation. After sitting she asked me for my wallet and I gave her it, she ordered some juicies and waited for her friend Anna.  Anna arrived, I saw photos of her in odnoklassniki and Miss Penza looked more pretty in the photos but in the real life it was the oppositte Anna was so much prettier, taller and with better body than Miss Penza and Anna was also a very nice and fun person to be with or chat (if we can call chat to that weird exchange of phrases and words with the help of the electronic translator). We played bowlings and Anna made fun of Miss Penza and me, later (I do not know how because it was the first time I played) I managed to beat both Anna and Miss Penza.

In the tables of the bowling there were some magazines one of them has a website also and the name was something like shpika.ru or shpilka.ru (do not remember the exact name) and it seemed to be a fashion magazine, miss Penza told me the photo shoot session she almost done were for that magazine but her mother did not allowed her to do the photo shoots. She took the magazine and put it in her bag. She told miss Manny in a 3 way call that she was invited for the director of a local TV program show (dating TV show) who was her friend to be one of the potential girl dates for a boy (she said the program was arranged beforehand so the guy will select her real girlfriend in life) so I suspect the incident with the photo shoot session for that magazine was somehow related to that TV show. Later I saw a quick flash repetion of that program for mistake, it was a quick flash repetition we saw with her granparents while we were at her dacha (which is located outside Penza) she immediatly was blush and very red.

Miss Penza and Anna quicked learned a couple of Spanish words after spending some hours there we went outside to take a cab. After paying the taxi driver I headed back to the hotel and they went to their homes.

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #20 on: December 17, 2008, 05:13:12 PM »
I think that you know the answer.
In her opinion if they were together for a week and things got nowhere in that time she does not like him. SHe might like him, but she don't like him.

Yes, those are my thoughts as well. If you cannot give an answer about a second meeting whether it might be a positive or negative answer, I think it is a polite way of saying: "I am not interested, I do not like you but I do not want to offend you right now..... wait a little more until you are far away to be offended" If you like a person or not you can give an answer immediately because you feel it.

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #21 on: December 19, 2008, 12:59:29 PM »
Day 4

This day Miss Penza called me around 4:30 pm to my room in the hotel. I took a taxi and as always went to purchase roses for her to a magazine first. The flower lady after discovering I was unable to speak Russian she  smiled and told her comrade :  “молодой человек не говорят по-русски” or something like that after giving me the roses I went towards the taxi again. This time the taxi driver seemed to get lost before arriving to the house of Miss Penza (who lived far from the hotel anyway) but my guess was he was not lost he only drove through a larger path in order to charge me more money.  After arriving to Miss Penza house she received me and told me this time she has not much time because she needed to sleep as she will have an exam of economics next day.  I apologized because I arrived late but I told her the taxi driver got lost, she said to not worry because she had time to took a bath.

We went to eat to her kitchen, her mother and grandmother gave me some delicious food, meat and potatoes and honeycombs for dessert.  She told me she and her mother went shopping and bought some gifts for me and my family. Later after eating we went to her room and she showed me some photos and her computer. She brought me some tea and she was eating seeds with salt. She went for her family and they arrived with the presents, they bought a beautiful matrioska, 2 bottles of Russian wine (unfortunately later the bottles were confiscated by Russian customs), a Russian flag, 3 different souvenirs from Penza (a spoon, a painted egg, and a small painted cow) a beautiful shawl and a simpatico male doll, Miss Penza told me that it was supposed to be the spirit of the apartment to protect the landlord from accidents.  Her mother, grandmother, grandfather were all present while they gave the gifts while miss Penza was using the electronic translator in order to translate the words between her family and me. I went outside and gave them a Mexican flag medium sized but they thought it was big. 
Besides the roses for Miss Penza I gave her mother when I arrived a wallet for woman (later I found that her daughter Miss Penza was actually using her mother’s gift when I looked at her bag in the bowling the last day I was in Penza).

I thanked them all and offered them to take them gifts from Mexico next time. Her grandfather said next Sunday they will take me to their Dacha and to their Banya. It was obvious I did not wanted to go to the Banya as later I wrote in message in the computer of Miss Penza, she only looked at me with weird eyes when she saw the message I wrote.
She was with her notebook of economics and I asked I wanted to see it, she told me for what? You are not going to understand.  The notebook was written in cursive Russian and I did not saw many numbers just a few graphics. She asked me to leave a message in Spanish in her notebook, I leaved a cheer message there.
After that she told me she was about to sleep so I needed to leave, she called a taxi. We went outside to wait for the taxi, she was in pajamas and a t shirt only it was a bit cold. The taxi did not show up so we waited a little bit more. We were waiting for the  taxi but it was freezing and she was wearing besides of her bra a little t shirt of pajamas and she was freezing (I sensed from touching the skin in her arms) I offered her to give my jacket (3 times) and she said no the four time I offered I got my jacket off and she yelled Niet, she preferred to got freeze rather than allow me to do it, after the taxi arrived she spoke with the driver and paid him (with my money of course) after that day she was the one who arrived at the hotel (except last day) because before that I was the one who arrived to her home (with roses and presents all the time).

Offline Link

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 586
  • Gender: Male
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #22 on: December 19, 2008, 01:10:03 PM »
I will continue updating the report, there's still a lot to write. By the way Miss Penza has not even sent me an email asking me if I arrived ok. She saw today my profile in odnoklassniki according to the website data but she sent me no message, I think sings are very clear. Miss Manny will try speak with her again on weekend, I think only to confirm what we all think about this situation unless she gives another excuse to avoid giving a direct answer again. I do not think saying "No I am not interested" it's difficult in order to confirm what is obvious. But I think Miss Manny will be able to discover the truth in Miss Penza.

Offline cufflinks

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8630
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 1-5
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #23 on: December 19, 2008, 02:07:36 PM »
Link:

Remember the most powerful tool a man can develop is a "Next" button in his mind and know how and when to use it.

Remember Rule Number 1 - A difficult (or: spoiled, inconsiderate, disrespectful, selfish etc...) woman ALWAYS remains difficult and NEVER changes - so hit "NEXT" :rolleye0009: :-\ :rolleye0009: :-\ :rolleye0009: :-\ :rolleye0009:

One thing we know there are millions of fish in the sea  :travel:

So sooner you hit NEXT the sooner you move on to the one who is respectful, considerate and perfect for you.

Offline mirror

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3673
  • Gender: Female
Re: Report from Penza Russia.
« Reply #24 on: December 19, 2008, 10:10:15 PM »
Link,not any photos from Penza?