5 Years from Hell to Happiness

[DonA]

Hello Folks


This is a repost of an old trip report. It was originally posted in November 2005 and that is the time line of the TR. Please bear (or its bare ) that in mind The TR is over 50,000 words, so it would be more then difficult for me to edit. I’m posting it in the original format with some minor editing for spelling and grammar (which will still be lousy )

 I hope you enjoy it. It was a labor of love for me to write it.
I dedicate this along with my life to my lovely Yulia



This is an Open Adventure Story meaning that it is open to comments but not criticism or guidance to find happiness with a Lady from the FSU. ( please the sticky about the rule for Adventure stories)



A few days ago I got up to go potty about 3 about in the morning. After that I headed downstairs to get something to drink. I passed my computer and thought hmmm let me just check some e-mail quickly. I had received my newsletter from an RW board and opened it for the heck  of it and take a look at what was up recently. I started to browse around and I noticed for the first time that there was a trip report that had like 5 million replies and 1 billion views written by some guy who went by the name of Jooky. I figured humm, this must be interesting, lets take a look. Big mistake in my part . I could not stop reading this excellent and captivating story and I stayed up all night and spent most of next the day reading it. I did not accomplish anything that day!  I didn’t even shower or brush my teeth until the evening I we so enthralled with it. What made me crazy was it just drop off in the middle somewhere and it was not finished. Oh how I wanted to kill him for that.


After that, I started to browse the “Best of RW”. I read Maxx Story and
then I re-read it. I then read quite a few of his posts. I was floored!!
Maxx I have to say that you are, to me, a real and true MAN! I really
Admire your Honesty, your Integrity, and your Humility. You reach out to others helping then to avoid the heartache you lived so painfully through.
You do this humbly without judging others, but with a great
Understanding of your fellow man with all of the frailties involved.
It is because you Maxx that I write this post now.
You see I have been around this board for many years now. I rarely
post. I think I have posted maybe a dozen times in about 5 years. I
offered nothing but I received more then I could have ever dreamed.
Actually because of the boards, and the willingness of the other
members to share their trials, their successes and their insight they experienced in this adventure helped other men to gain Love, create a family and to have fulfilling lives.

I have all of that now.

Thanks to the selfless wisdom of many members of this board!
I was really quite selfish about it though and after reading Maxx’s
story I was really ashamed of myself!
I received everything I wanted and then I was like…..Adios
Guys…...See ya…


So for a few days now it’s been bothering me. I felt I owed so much
that I was feeling a bit guilty.

 But did I really want to share my story. Did I really want to tell these people, who are complete  strangers about how this all began? You see  in the beginning my story is quite painful for me to reveal…..Then today I read Maxx’s story again!
That clinched it!

So here I am, the night before Thanksgiving writing  about journey which  took me out of the hell I was living , and led me all the way true happiness in my life. A life I now live with the lady of my dreams. My Lady is oh so sweet, beautiful, and loving, and who just so happens to hail from Mother Russia.

She is an Angel, she is miracle and has brought true happiness to my life and I dedicate   

So I guess it is quite fitting to be writing our story at  this  time in thanksgiving for having this Life now.
I will try to give back some of what I was given. In the hope
that in some small way I may be helping others , in some small way in their quest to find what I have been so blessed to receive the love and devotion of this Lovely Lady from so far away, from the other side of the world.
 
I want to start by telling where I am at today. I am married to a
loving, funny, and caring lady. She is also incredibly beautiful. She has
been offered modeling jobs, and has refused them all.


I taught her to shoot ( She Loves to shoot!); She loves to hunt, fish
and camp.  For a wedding Present she asked for a shotgun, so that is what she got. Of course being a girl she picked the prettiest one ( read expensive engraving  Now if I can
get her to wash my car and clean the fish then I will have to perfect
woman.


Below is the first photo I ever saw of Yulia. it is a glamour shot for sure . The photo floored me and had my undivided attention

It is this photo of Yulia that got me off My butt

And off to Russia I went!

In my next post I will start from the beginning of my journey. the lonely part that describes some of the hell I went through. It was hell of my own making.

 I’ve had no one to blame but myself

[Patrick]

I remember this story very well. Well told and very well written..

[bgreed]

Don
Glad to see you repost this.  It's a great story and deserves to be a sticky!

[PlumberMan]

[quote It's a great story and deserves to be a sticky!
[/quote]

I agree

[Chris]

Good story Don, when's the next installment

[DonA]

About five and half years ago I went through a divorce. A divorce that I caused.  It was truly all my fault.

I was modestly  successful as a land speculator and syndicator. However I was quite full of myself, arrogant and conceited! I felt I could do what I want without thought of morals or integrity I didn't care about anyone but myself. I started live a double life. I had a girlfriend on the side and a condo that my wife knew nothing about. Of course I got busted. I almost destroyed my wife and 2 sons. I can still see, in my mind, the look of horror, and heart broken  tears streaming down their faces. It is killing me to think about it again.

Because of all of the guilt and shame I started to drink like a mad man to kill the pain. I almost went bankrupt. I didn't care about anything especially myself.

So you see it not always an AW that is at fault. This time it was me.

It took me along time to get come to grips with myself, but finally I did. Thank God!!



I started dating some AW’s after my divorce and getting my head back together. But nothing was fanning the flames.

Around that time I started doing the Match.com thing .I got a number of hits. One chick looked pretty hot so we made a date. I figured I would make a good impression and meet her at a very expensive Seafood Restaurant her in Phoenix. I put on my Armani’s, I was thinking of shaving my nuts, but I ran out of time. So out the door I go.  I'm ready to do damage to this lovely lady. I get there a few minutes early. She calls me and tells me she can't find the Restaurant. So I ground guide her in. We are still talking when she walks in the restaurant.

I take one look at and I almost have a  seizure! That photo she had on her profile on Match must have been taken 5 years and 150 pounds ago. eeewww

I mean she looked like a  walrus, all tusks whiskers and blubber thought I was gonna have to toot a horn to get her to get up on her hind flippers have her balance a ball on her bristly  nose  and throw mackerel to her…. Mary mother of God…… please don’t let anyone see me with this malformed warthog…..please I beg of you……. I'm praying in my head.. Promising to go to church every Sunday, ….I’ll stop swearing….. I’ll give to the poor… I promise…… I’ll,,, I’ll….I’ll… even stop playing with myself………….. pleeeeeease

Well thankfully none of my friend came in.

Now Miss Marine Mammal  could eat like she had 4 digestive tracks . The bill came to about $150.

Then she wanted to know if I wanted to go to her house for some coffee and cake.  ……  Cake….. I could barely keep down my dinner being this close to her and the thought of seeing her naked made me want stick pins in my eyes and turn me queer! I begged off claiming a headache…hehe I figured  if they can use that line I can too… Well anyway that the end of that fiasco and me wanting to play big shot.

Needless to say the  future match.com dates only got coffee and a Danish out of me at Starbucks until I checked out their wares. None of them did a thing for me.. So my match escapades went down hill in a hurry.

So that was the end of that!

[Maxx]

Hey Don, she might have had a nice personality and could cook and bake well....



Maxx

[pup zemly]

wow, your Yulia is beautiful!

[DonA]

Then I figured I go poking around looking at the international profiles for a Russian woman. I always like them in New York. I lived right next to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn NY for most of my life. I dated close to a dozen FSUW back in my earlier single days.

Also I heard there were a lot of them looking to get out of the FSU.

  I heard a lot of things that of course turned to be pure nonsense.

They'll do anything, you can get an 18 year old super model. Your age and appearance doesn't matter. Go on a sex tour and get any woman you snap your fingers at for the price of a dinner… Really some sick stuff was floating around then. This is back in 2001 I think.

I  was already reading some of IBB concerning dating the fine Ladies of the FSU. I started checking out the free ad’s of course. Why spend money when you can get it for free. I read about scammers here so I thought I was immune from that.

But the fact of the matter is I almost did get scammed and what makes it worse I was doing it willingly.

I saw a profile of a sweet looking young thing. Sent off an intro letter. I got a lovely response in a few days. So we start the back and forth e-mails going. She sends me photos of her, mommy and daddy, her pet goldfish and dog.

I think this chick is for real.. Then after maybe 10 or so e-mails she is professing undying love and if she doesn't see me soon she’s a gonna die… I’m falling for this in a big way. My ego and my Mr. Happy are running the show. She tells me that she wants to come and see me…She tells me she can get a visa no problem and that she has the money to come. I tell her sure come on over. I’ll even let you stay in my house and show you America where the streets are paved with gold. She says all that is great and she  will start getting her visa and everything…

Then of course, a few days later I get a heart broken e-mail from asking me to call her. I get on the phone like a flash. She answers the phone in a teary eyed voice telling me she had to spend all her money because her gold fish needed a hysterectomy or some other such crap. Can I help and send her the money for the visa and airfare. She promises she will pay me back and hopefully when she gets here we will spend the rest our lives together. Her hand feeding me grapes, cheese, and caviar. At first I told her sure I’ll help you my love….. I will save you my love. My chest is all puffed out, and clearly (clearly now not then) I am in the “I will save the damsel in distress psychosis”

There was only one catch that bothered my. She always answered the phone by saying “ hi honey”. She never mentioned my name but seemed to always know it was me calling or so I thought.

Again I was read the forums about scammers but I didn’t think I could be scammed. My ego would not allow that thought into my head. That only happens to other guys!!!

The  board and tablets of stone preach about the stupidity of sending money to someone you do not know and I really couldn’t get that out of my head.

I was going back and forth on what to do. I really couldn’t afford it at the time. I didn’t want to lose this opportunity though. What to do, what to do. This was the question do I trust this hot little tomato? Well I can get some money if I sell my shrunken head collection …. I come up with an idea to test her…. I called her and get the HI honey” line again. So I give her a fake name. I tell her this is Eddy. She says I knew it was you my love… …I go ballistic……..Why you little lying ******* *****!!!! I qo off on her and hang up… I never told her it was me… I called  a day later. I tell her I will send her the money but please tell me how to get it to you. She tells me to go to Western Union and then call her back with the” Money Control Number”. The money control number? What the heck is that I thought to myself…..

 What a scammer she has this system down pat. How many poor guys got taken already I  wondered.

Realizing I almost became one of those numbers that got scammed made me swallow real hard!!!

 So I go to western union and get the skinny on what the MCN is. They tell me the amount of digits. I go home and call her and give her a bunch of random numbers. I figured I’d send her on a wild goose chase.. The next day I get a frantic e-mail that the money is not there and that she is so heart broken she wants to come in 2 days to me.

I call her and then proceeded to tell her all about her mother’s sexual preference for farm animals.

Well that was the end of that as far as free profiles for me.

[Simoni]

Thanks for sharing, Don.  Keep it coming! 

[DonA]

Next I stated looking at pay for address sites. I found AFA. It was interesting because they are about a mile from my house. I get their platinum plan that allows you unlimited addresses. The only problem was at that time they did not give out e-mail address’s only home addresses. OK I figure. I mailed God only knows how many letters. Probably hundreds.

I'm still scraping the friggin stamp glue off my tongue.

 I included my e-mail address in all of them. I got one lousy response through e-mail. Now I use AOL and they don’t support anything except Latin characters. The e-mail I got was not in Latin characters. It was not even in Cyrillic characters. It was looked like some form of freakin hieroglyphics.

Well that was the end of that as far as  snail mail for me!!

Than I look around at their “Romance Tours”. I’m checking out the photos of all their socials. The ladies look nice. I’m beginning to think about going on one.

Until I see one photo of a guy that had to be 400lbs (NO LIE) with this sweet looking girl that looks like she’s 16. He’s leering at her like he is gonna cook her.. It was absolutely disgusting to look at. Seriously this guy’s shirt had a stain on it. His gut hung down to completely cover his zipper. I just checked to see if those social photos on the site but they are gone..


I decided that that was not me. I thought of it like it was  a cattle call or like trying to buy a cow at the village market.


Well that was that for Romance  tours for me!!!

[Edit]( there happen to be a good Romance Tour company- First Dream..You can google it up or send a PM to the owner, he  is NUNYA on the board )

[Turboguy]

It is a really great story Don and you tell it in a very interesting way.   I will agree with your comment about FirstDream tours.   They are totally different than the big agency tours and very well done.  I think they are especially good for someone new to the scene or new to travel to that part of the world.   I went with my son last fall, more in the hopes of finding him someone special.  It was impressive.   Perhaps I had better spend more time reading and less time writing.  I didn't even realize Jack was here, but like so many of the members he will be a great asset.   There is no one more experinced in this and no one more helpful.   I will keep this short, I don't want to take away from your story.  Maybe I will post a thread about my tour experiences when I have time.

[Jinx]

 Hey Don,

 This is a very interesting read so far, I can relate to the net dating thing after my divorce, had similar experiences on match.com, but the first time I was contacted by a Russian woman (on kiss.com I think)  is what changed everything, we talked on the phone and her accent was to die for, not to mention she was ten times better looking than any of the American girls I had seen online. It didn't last with Anna, but it got me to thinking about Russian women as a real alternative to what I had been seeing in the local dating pool.

 When is the next installment?

[Wild Orchid]

I didn't read your story this time, i haven't forgoten it yet  but why does it have such title? Was your life before Julia a real hell? You have'got 2 sons from that hellish life, don't you? Looks like it wasn't that bad after all 

[Turboguy]

Having children and having a life that is or is not hell are two different things.   My life was hell in my first marriage even though it lasted 18 years and there were two great kids.   I have a hard time remembering even a happy day starting with day one in those 18 years.   I can believe that part of the story.

[Wild Orchid]

My previous relationship ended up as a total disaster but I remember myself being extremely happy at some moments. If you staid for 18 years it has to be very bearable hell at least.

[Turboguy]

The only thing that made it bearable was that I traveled a few days a week and could get away from it.   My big fantasy in those days was when I headed out for my two day trip to just start driving and driving and never stop till I was so far away no one could ever find me.   

[Wild Orchid]

so why did you stay in marrige like that for 18 years? 

[Gorky Guy]

My big fantasy in those days was when I headed out for my two day trip to just start driving and driving and never stop till I was so far away no one could ever find me.

I know a bloke who used to hit himself over the head every morning with a baseball bat but he stopped after three months when his teeth fell out. What made you continue for 18 years?

Just asking...

[Turboguy]

Heck, I have known people whose teeth would fall out when they sneezed.

Two things Gorky & WO.  One was I sorta belived that "till death do us part" meant somthing.   The other was that I enjoyed being around my kids and knew it would not be the same if I left. 

[Gorky Guy]

TOne was I sorta belived that "till death do us part" meant something.   The other was that I enjoyed being around my kids and knew it would not be the same if I left.

The second reason is very understandable, albeit not entirely sensible IMV, but the former takes martyrdom to unhitherto unheard of levels of self-chastisement. Still, they were your 18 years, not mine.
 :

[DonA]

I didn't read your story this time, i haven't forgoten it yet  but why does it have such title? Was your life before Julia a real hell? You have'got 2 sons from that hellish life, don't you? Looks like it wasn't that bad after all 

Oh no WO you misunderstood.

My life became a hell because of me, but that was after 15 years of a happy marriage. What was hell for me was knowing that I ruined the marriage. I mentioned all about it in the first post.

It was all my fault, so I gave my x-wife just about everything in the divorce and made her my business partner for life. She stayed home to raise our children at my insistence, so her work skills were outdated and she would not be able to make a very good living. I felt, I owe it to her. I would not be able to look myself in the mirror to shave it I did it any other way. When we first divorced I was very upside down finance wise. I could have gotten away with murder with $$ if I wanted too, but that ain't me. To this day we remain good friends, very good friends. After all she is the mother of my Sons, she was a good wife,I was a lousy husband. For mother's Day 2005 I gave her a Lexus. Yulia knows everything I do for the X. She doesn't say much but I know she doesn't care for it too much, but I told Yulia all about it long before she came here. Kind of a complicated juggling act at time,but what can I do.

Yulia does admire the fact that I put family first, above all, and would not turn my back on the X like so many men do. Lets face it there aren't too many RM who would do what I do. So I get a couple of brownie points with my Yulia for it.

DonAz

[sharpbws]

Yulia does admire the fact that I put family first, above all, and would not turn my back on the X like so many men do. Lets face there aren't too many RM who would do what I do. So I get a couple of brownie points with my Yulia for it.

No doubt about that.  My wife just heard last night that the husband of her childhood best friend took off with some hot young babe he'd been boinking and left her alone without support with her two college-age children.  I guess that shit happens over there a lot more than we'd like to imagine.

:-)
Brad

[Bruce]

Don, that Walrus girl story was a hoot.  Unfortunately, many of us have been on dates like that in the past.  The only way a person should go on a blind date in the USA is if they are blind.   In the FSU you have a greater chance of at least dating eye candy.


Great story.  Keep it comming.  You are a bit modest.  You made your luck and deserve everything that you've gotten.

Turbo, after reading the driving story I feel for you even more.   I am glad you found a girl that really does it for you in VWRW and hope you are together all the time soon. 

[2tallbill]

Ok, Don I know you are busy, but it's time for another post in your story.

Take care,

Bill