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Author Topic: Ladies - Why a foreign man?  (Read 54796 times)

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Offline Nessibelle

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #15 on: April 06, 2009, 11:30:01 AM »
Nessibelle, this one statement is something many guys, especially those who go looking for arm candy (only care about her beauty), need to see from a lady.

Quote
But still there are some good men here, and if I meet one, I would give up looking for anyone anywhere.
Sorry, could you please express your thought in a simpler way, because I don't understand.
Do you want to say, that guys who are not looking for a serious relationship need a woman like me? Sorry, it might sound stupid but I really a bit confused about the meaning of the statement.

Offline TomT

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2009, 03:12:05 PM »
He meant that your statement contained some important information, that many men could learn something from it and that some men could learn more than others. 
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline Nessibelle

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #17 on: April 06, 2009, 03:17:58 PM »
He meant that your statement contained some important information, that many men could learn something from it and that some men could learn more than others. 
Thanks. But why
Quote
especially those who go looking for arm candy (only care about her beauty)
?


Offline ECR844

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #18 on: April 06, 2009, 03:27:34 PM »
He meant that your statement contained some important information, that many men could learn something from it and that some men could learn more than others. 
Thanks. But why
Quote
especially those who go looking for arm candy (only care about her beauty)
?

"Nessibelle,"

  I believe the original poster was commenting on the fact that you mention the possibility of meeting a man locally at home. One of the often mentioned reasons on forums of this nature for FSU and Russian ladies looking for foreigners for marriage is that the local men are dysfunctional, drunks, drug addicts, ____fill in blank with your prejudices and preconception here__, etc..


  As a result some of the men who seek FSU women and RW, have deluded themselves that there is no reason or possibility that a FSUW or RW would want a local man. Often times we have seen that the same men who have this incorrect assumptions and stereotypes also judge a woman based only on her beauty, as opposed to her character or other attributes. They see her as a trophy or accessory for their life as opposed to a partner and wife. I hope this helps,
ECR844

Offline Excedryn

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #19 on: April 06, 2009, 05:56:42 PM »
I have nothing to add to this except to say thank you to the ladies who responded to this thread. I definitely am not one of those men who run around with the idea that I am going to "nab a trophy", nor one of those who would enjoy the "mistress in waiting" game either. I would sooner write a woman who has a child and "real" photographs of herself/child than some hot tottie in a pink bikini flaunting her curves (general rule of thumb is I never write to those anyhow). 15 years ago I had a completely different outlook of course. At 37, I have matured enough to know what I want in a relationship.
What I have seen posted has been quite inciteful and certainly has cleared a few points of confusion/misconception I have had about who, what, when, where, and why. So for that I say thank you again!
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.
Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #20 on: April 06, 2009, 09:31:25 PM »
Quote
especially those who go looking for arm candy (only care about her beauty)


In this particular phrase I mean to say that some men travel only to find someone with great physical beauty. They do not care about her family, her inner world, her culture, or the traditions which are special to the lady. These men think only of themselves. The lady is not a person with feelings to this kind of man, she is only a trophy.

I believe that in most cases the men who read this forum are gentlemen who enjoy travel to your country, who learn Russian words and phrases to understand and communicate, and who want to share their lives with a special lady. For example, look at the feelings expressed by Excedryn. Just from that one post he sounds to me like a very mature man who would cherish a beautiful lady. I can easily say the same compliments about men like ECR and many others.

Nessibelle, my sincere apology to you for not being more clear. Thanks to Tom, ECR and Excedryn for your excellent assistance.

Offline Nessibelle

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #21 on: April 06, 2009, 09:50:56 PM »
Thank you for your explanations. Now it's clear. I suspect it was not clear to me when I wrote so, because it was almost morning and my brain was begging for a sleep))

Everyone being sane and sober should understand that general conclusions are frequently myths. Especially about people. So there are worthy men in FSU for sure.

Offline TomT

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #22 on: April 07, 2009, 12:07:41 AM »
Everyone being sane and sober should understand that general conclusions are frequently myths. Especially about people. So there are worthy men in FSU for sure.

Along the same line of thought, you should not believe that all Western men are the best in the world; there are unworthy men here, as well. One good feature about international dating is that it requires the man to make more effort than he would in local dating. The fact that he arrives in your country may not tell you everything about his character but at least you know that he kept his promise to visit and that he is not too lazy to travel.   :)
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline Nessibelle

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #23 on: April 07, 2009, 12:16:44 AM »
Along the same line of thought, you should not believe that Western men are the best in the world; there are unworthy men here, as well.
Sure. People are just people no matter where they live.

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One unique feature about international dating is that it requires the man to make more effort than he would in local dating. The fact that he arrives in your country may not tell you everything about his character but at least you know that he is not too lazy to travel.   :)
Yes, and if he travels to my place for 3-4 times, I would guess he is at least interested in me. :nod:

Offline TomT

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #24 on: April 07, 2009, 12:28:25 AM »
Precisely.

Unfortunately, it is impossible to predict how much effort a man will make after the intensity of new love subsides. This problem is not unique to international dating, though; it applies equally to local dating.
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline Excedryn

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #25 on: April 07, 2009, 07:40:33 PM »
Quote
especially those who go looking for arm candy (only care about her beauty)


In this particular phrase I mean to say that some men travel only to find someone with great physical beauty. They do not care about her family, her inner world, her culture, or the traditions which are special to the lady. These men think only of themselves. The lady is not a person with feelings to this kind of man, she is only a trophy.

I believe that in most cases the men who read this forum are gentlemen who enjoy travel to your country, who learn Russian words and phrases to understand and communicate, and who want to share their lives with a special lady. For example, look at the feelings expressed by Excedryn. Just from that one post he sounds to me like a very mature man who would cherish a beautiful lady. I can easily say the same compliments about men like ECR and many others.

Nessibelle, my sincere apology to you for not being more clear. Thanks to Tom, ECR and Excedryn for your excellent assistance.

Thank you for the "spot on" observation Mendy.  ;D I have found out more about myself searching for that special lady than I definitely expected. Oh the magical world of "growing pains"  :) Of course, the more interesting part is I actually embrace it as opposed to dancing in denial. It is rather nice to know I am not a superficial individual.  :party0031:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.
Helen Keller
US blind & deaf educator (1880 - 1968)

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #26 on: April 07, 2009, 10:12:06 PM »
Пожалуйста! (You're welcome)  :)

Offline Helen

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #27 on: April 08, 2009, 07:56:15 AM »
I am sure, that each person should have the right of a choice. Expansion of borders - that very well. I like to socialize as it helps me to understand life and other people better.
With the Internet the world has become increasingly small and I feel that my second half could also be looking for me. Now I just need to find him! :-)  I am willing to travel across any sea to find true love...
Maybe this is a dream too bold for reality. But failing to seek for such an ideal means I would be settling for mediocrity. :party0011:

Offline fireeater

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #28 on: April 08, 2009, 08:07:14 AM »
I am sure, that each person should have the right of a choice. Expansion of borders - that very well. I like to socialize as it helps me to understand life and other people better.
With the Internet the world has become increasingly small and I feel that my second half could also be looking for me. Now I just need to find him! :-)  I am willing to travel across any sea to find true love...
Maybe this is a dream too bold for reality. But failing to seek for such an ideal means I would be settling for mediocrity. :party0011:

Welcome to the forum Helen  :)

Your reasons given match my own thoughts. With the internet the world is a smaller place, and who knows where she may be located.  ;D

Offline Helen

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Re: Ladies - Why a foreign man?
« Reply #29 on: April 08, 2009, 08:18:36 AM »
Thanks, fireeater
interesting forum... mmm...
I have postponed job and I read!  :loving:
I too thought, why I have left in the Internet with this purpose...
I shall be repeated: It - Expansion of borders. Expansion of opportunities.


 

 

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