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Author Topic: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?  (Read 1445 times)

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Online justadude

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When I was in Kiev for New Year's 2017, I met two Turkish guys. One had plans for the following weekend to meet a Russian woman in Ukraine somewhere, I don't remember where. The story was that she was paying for her train ride there and that they were to share a hotel room and, presumably, all that goes along with that. An RuA'er also told me he first met a couple of different women in person by flying into their city and staying with them in their apartment.  It seems like that sort of thing is a thing, but I don't know how common it is.

I decided to try that sort of arrangement for my upcoming trip. I met a few girls online and asked each of them if they'd like to join me in a touristy city in Ukraine in which they do not live. I got one "no", one "no answer", another "let's just meet in person when you arrive" and a 4th "maybe", pending a video call or two and getting to know each other a little better. As I've stated elsewhere, I am not good at sustaining a conversation without meeting in person.

My questions: Have you ever met a woman for the first time with stated plans to share the same dwelling? If so, how much did you communicate beforehand? Who proposed staying in the same room? How far into discussions did you propose staying in the same room?  If you've done this, how did it go?

Offline Omega1982

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2019, 09:24:19 PM »
I've done this many times, you can PM me. 

Offline AvHdB

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2019, 09:56:23 PM »
For myself the answer is yes. In fact the very first woman I met in St. Petersburg. Because I was not tuned in, eventually because of my fault and ignorance the relationship ended. She was is Christian Tartar.

There is a song about this, understanding Dutch might help, but I think you will get the general sense.



Latter I met a woman from near Moscow who originally was from the Caucuses and nominal Muslim. We shared an apartment in Kiev but there was no connection. I used the second bedroom for the duration.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot


Offline Omega1982

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2019, 10:08:47 PM »
the thing also is how much vacation time do you have and if you're willing to go somewhere you're not interested in.  Say for example if the woman lives in Karaganda, Kazakhstan.  There's nothing touristically there to see.  So if you go there and things don't go well with the woman you wasted valuable vacation time.  If say you're traveling the trans Siberian or you're in Novosibirsk on a layover, the woman from Karaganda can agree to meet you in Novosibirsk and see if you hit it off.  Then if things go well and you decide she's the one you can plan a longer meeting involving meeting family and friends. 

Online andrewfi

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2019, 12:40:43 AM »
As with many things in life, it ain't what you do, but the way that you do it, that gets the results.

If a woman trusts you and is morally open to bunking up with you from night one then go for it. Here the thing is the little word trust. I'd not be at all surprised to find that women don't find it easy to trust you.

Factor in other stuff such as - booking one room in this way seems:
1) cheap
2) like you're treating the women like free hookers
and your success rate will fall through the floor. These girls have heard it all before - hard up USAians trying to get into their pants for the cost of a cup of coffee and a shared bed.

So, do the sensible thing. Make it clear that you are booking TWO rooms in a hotel for the time you are together. You can afford it. Build trust, show respect and don't appear to be a cheapskate.

Yeah, if you can't afford it, or it doesn't seem like good value then you can save the cost of your new passport and flight tickets. :)
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online msmoby

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2019, 01:08:35 AM »
I honestly cannot believe the OP is asking such a Q.

As andrewfi said, this is about trust.

Do you WANT to meet and sleep with someone you do not know?

Are you aware of the risks re STI's?

I have slept with someone I thought I knew and didn't insist on both of us having a STI check, first ...






Online Herrie

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2019, 03:06:06 AM »
As with many things in life, it ain't what you do, but the way that you do it, that gets the results.

If a woman trusts you and is morally open to bunking up with you from night one then go for it. Here the thing is the little word trust. I'd not be at all surprised to find that women don't find it easy to trust you.

Factor in other stuff such as - booking one room in this way seems:
1) cheap
2) like you're treating the women like free hookers
and your success rate will fall through the floor. These girls have heard it all before - hard up USAians trying to get into their pants for the cost of a cup of coffee and a shared bed.

So, do the sensible thing. Make it clear that you are booking TWO rooms in a hotel for the time you are together. You can afford it. Build trust, show respect and don't appear to be a cheapskate.

Yeah, if you can't afford it, or it doesn't seem like good value then you can save the cost of your new passport and flight tickets. :)
Depending on your level of contact before meeting in person and the level of trust, an alternative would be to rent a 2 bedroom apartment for example.

She can sleep in her own bedroom if she pleases, or with you in case the two of you hit it off.

I personally prefer apartments over hotels, because it's a more homely setting and you get a better understanding of how a person is v.s. hotel. You can prepare meals together for example.

In the past above worked for me when meeting on neutral grounds. I've also stayed at the ladies place when meeting her in her city. It all depends on your personal connection and what the both of you are comfortable with.

In both cases above the communication before meeting was multiple hours of phone calls daily for a period of a couple of months.

Online andrewfi

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2019, 03:11:04 AM »
Herrie, I kinda understand. But justadude did specify hotel.

Also, on a personal level, my days of messing around in an apartment are over. I want to be able to walk into a place, get my room key, drop my bags and have a drink or a swim. If I'm meeting somebody then the hotel bar or restaurant does just fine.

Once upon a time, one stayed in an apartment, in large part, because hotels were crappy and costly. That's no longer the case and in environments where the hotels cannot be counted on there's little chance that one can count on apartment rentals as a good alternative.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online msmoby

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2019, 03:32:24 AM »
When the likes of Airbnb are booming our andrewfi is the outlier.

Apartments are better for meetups as less chance of a reception / security taking an interest in your guest(s)


Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2019, 10:26:07 AM »
As I've stated elsewhere, I am not good at sustaining a conversation
without meeting in person.

Herein lies the problem. You can't seduce the girl without actually seducing
the girl.

You need to explore the meet many strategy if you can't sustain a conversation
without first meeting the girl.

Have you ever met a woman for the first time with stated plans to share the same dwelling? If so, how much did you communicate beforehand? Who proposed staying in the same room? How far into discussions did you propose staying in the same room?  If you've done this, how did it go?

Of course, I've done this but I had to have extensive conversations beforehand.
That's the only way it will work. You shouldn't even try this unless you are able
to commit to having sustained conversations with a girl that you are really
interested in.

Lastly, don't use visit one tactics when you are meeting many.

Here is a thread that I explained many of my theories on how to
pursue FSUW. You can skip ahead to reply #136 However, I do
recommend reading the entire thread.


http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php/topic,4390.msg56897/highlight,rw+fever.html#msg56897

FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2019, 10:43:22 AM »
Apartments are better for meetups as less chance of a reception / security taking an interest in your guest(s)


I totally agree, apartments are better.

An apartment is bigger, often less expensive, has a kitchen / refrigerator
Many ladies will not even go into a hotel.

Most guys have at least one goto dish that they can cook to impress a girl

You can get up at three in the morning (because of your jet lag) in your
underwear go to the refrigerator and have a cold drink or make yourself
a sandwich. You can make a pot of coffee or put on the kettle for tea.

You can entertain in an apartment.

However the best reason of all, that Trumps anything is that

You can play house in an apartment.

Try doing this in a hotel.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online NS1

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2019, 01:21:58 PM »
I was taught early days here, book apartment.
Good girls will not be seen in a hotel, gives them
a bad reputation. Maybe times are a changing and that's not
the case anymore. But nice apartments are easy to find, often
more comfortable ( depending on where you are)

I have  never met a girl I did not know in a hotel,
on my adventures.
There is nothing permanent except change.

Offline Manny

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2019, 02:25:45 PM »
Would you want to build a relationship with a woman who randomly bunks up in a hotel with some guy she doesnt know?  :scared0005:

but I don't know how common it is.

As common as the woman you are planning to meet (I am not sure if that translates into American).

I have  never met a girl I did not know in a hotel,
on my adventures.

Me neither.


Online andrewfi

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2019, 02:37:17 PM »
I think the days of having problems in hotels with security and one's woman are now history. The reason was that security often ran the girl supplying part of the business in the hotel and did not like freelancers using the hotel without paying them 'rent'.

I can't speak for everywhere but, from what I see, those are days now consigned to history.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Manny

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2019, 03:10:17 PM »
I think the days of having problems in hotels with security and one's woman are now history. The reason was that security often ran the girl supplying part of the business in the hotel and did not like freelancers using the hotel without paying them 'rent'.

I can't speak for everywhere but, from what I see, those are days now consigned to history.

IIRC it was more that the woman might be thought of as a visiting hooker, and if anyone from her peer group saw her in a hotel with a foreigner, assumptions would be made.

It's probably no longer a problem in big cities, but I bet it is in smaller places where Babushkas gossip. It was very much a thing in Togliatti on the mid noughties when I met my wife. Even last time I went, babas were gossiping about "the foreigner". She told them we had been married for years, lived in England and had a daughter and suddenly they were all [toothless] smiles. Now I'm approved to enter the apartment building.......

In China for example (and the USSR/FSU/Russia mindset and China have many social similarities in this regard), you wont get a woman accompanying you to a hotel room alone under any circumstances unless she is your wife, girlfriend or hired entertainment. Asking a colleague or helper to give you a knock, come up and collect [whatever] or have a meeting in your room isn't happening. If you are being collected she will call you from the lobby. If you have a meeting she will meet you in the lobby bar. In all circumstances she will meet you in the lobby.

Where I last stayed in Hong Kong, the elevator 'up' wouldn't work unless you bleeped your room key. That is to keep out women who are 'not paying guests' the note in the room told me.  :chuckle:

Early on when I met my [now] wife, on one of my visits to Russia I chose a nice local hotel instead of inconveniencing the folks. We already had a solid relationship, but one of her school pals [gossip circuit] worked on reception. When she was on she'd call me from the lobby and ask me to come down.

Online NS1

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2019, 03:24:15 PM »
I will point  out the obvious.
If your meeting a good girl and hope
to turn it into a relationship, showing this level
of respect should be a given. Make sure
you know the city, hotels etc before even attempting this.
As said above, apartments and air BnB's offer great prices
with often far better settings for your visit.

If you are meeting for the one off, then girls reputation
is likely not a major concern for you.
There is nothing permanent except change.

Online andrewfi

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2019, 04:00:31 PM »
Manny, your recollection was wrong. There was some truth to it. But the issue was as I described because that was the business model 20 years ago.

Of course a knock-on effect was that women didn't want that kind of attention. But the reason why it happened was as I stated.

By the way, if you guys are thinking about the wellbeing of women, then you'd not be suggesting they meet a stranger in a short term let apartment. An hotel is much safer, much less risky for a woman meeting a stranger.

There's a reason most hookers in this part of the work at least will happily go to an hotel but refuse to meet a punter in an apartment.

They'd rather have the possibility of dealing with security in an hotel which means paying some kind of fee, but gives safety, than meet up with a strange man in a random apartment with no personal security.

The women you lot suggest meeting in a random Airbnb apartment have no idea what they are walking into and little chance of escaping unharmed if you turn out to be a violent nutter. An hotel is at the least perceived as being safer.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online andrewfi

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2019, 04:13:02 PM »
Don't want to come off mobyish with imaginary friends here but as it happens I am chatting to a friend, a woman I met for the first time in an hotel.

I asked her whether she would have felt more comfortable meeting in an hotel or apartment the first time we met.

She told me that she would not have met with me in my house or apartment because of personal safety issues.

That's a sample size of one, but it accords with my own opinion and with my understanding of the preferences of other women. Hotels are perceived as safe. Apartments and houses much less so.

Quote
If I had suggested meeting at a house or apartment would you have been more or less nervous than meeting at an hotel?

No I wouldnt meet at a house or apartment, I'd be more wary of what I would be walking in to x
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Manny

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2019, 04:48:08 PM »
Manny, your recollection was wrong. There was some truth to it. But the issue was as I described because that was the business model 20 years ago.

My recollection of what I experienced *isnt* wrong, because I experienced it and am not yet senile. I was first in the FSU (pre EU) Estonia in 98 meeting girls. Later I was in Latvia, Lithuania, and Russia. My 'dating period' [between my first visit and meeting my now wife] was several years. During that time I stayed in lots of hotels, and got to see the reactions of many women in regards to hotels.

What I noted about China simply reinforces what we know - and is typical - about these types of societies. 

That said, the OP may find a woman in Kiev or Odessa - if he spends enough - who will agree to a hotel room and jump in the sack with a stranger. Personally, I'd prefer to rent such a woman than pretend I am making a relationship. And that said, there must be lots of pretty girls in the USA you can rent by the hour?

Online andrewfi

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2019, 05:32:03 PM »
As I said, you were not entirely wrong. But there is a reason for it that underlies your experience and I shared it with you.

The attitude didn't spring from nowhere. It came from the way hotels were run back then and how security ran the hooker business in hotels.

So, as I noted the reason why many women didn't want to use hotels 20 years or so ago was because of being thought to be hookers. The reason for that didn't spring from nowhere, but came from the ever present risk of being stopped by security and getting shaken down by security for their 'rent'.

Now, if you want, you can imagine that women are just simple creatures with not a thought in their heads leading them to act irrationally. I think better of them than that! There was a solid reason for their concern. Now you know what it was.

Now, ask yourself why your wife asked you to come down to meet her either outside the hotel or in the lobby. The reason was that by doing so she was most unlikely to be stopped by security and, if she was, you'd take care of the matter. It is part of the same reasoning.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Omega1982

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2019, 09:43:58 PM »
Manny, your recollection was wrong. There was some truth to it. But the issue was as I described because that was the business model 20 years ago.

My recollection of what I experienced *isnt* wrong, because I experienced it and am not yet senile. I was first in the FSU (pre EU) Estonia in 98 meeting girls. Later I was in Latvia, Lithuania, and Russia. My 'dating period' [between my first visit and meeting my now wife] was several years. During that time I stayed in lots of hotels, and got to see the reactions of many women in regards to hotels.

What I noted about China simply reinforces what we know - and is typical - about these types of societies. 

That said, the OP may find a woman in Kiev or Odessa - if he spends enough - who will agree to a hotel room and jump in the sack with a stranger. Personally, I'd prefer to rent such a woman than pretend I am making a relationship. And that said, there must be lots of pretty girls in the USA you can rent by the hour?

It's illegal in the USA and enforced. 

Online msmoby

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2019, 10:02:01 PM »
I think the days of having problems in hotels with security and one's woman are now history. The reason was that security often ran the girl supplying part of the business in the hotel and did not like freelancers using the hotel without paying them 'rent'.

I can't speak for everywhere but, from what I see, those are days now consigned to history.

Once again, you just demonstrated you cannot be visiting Russian hotels to 'comment'.

Those that do travel and stay in nice hotels, there KNOW ( not 'think') that if you are a guest that one's RU passport is required and in the case of non FSU guests one's international passport.

SC and I have stayed in Moscow airport hotels , Siberian hotels, Sochi hotels for new year, Easter celebrations and 'Good luck' getting as far as the lift ..let alone a room if you bring a non registered gurest..


That is a VERY good reason why wiser seasoned daters of FSU W use apartments / homes  with their own entrance








Offline 2tallbill

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Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2019, 11:47:04 PM »
She told me that she would not have met with me in my house or apartment because of personal safety issues.

In the situation that I was suggesting, after many long conversations
on Skype the first meeting was almost always at the airport, and then
on to exchange money, a market to get food stuffs, water and things,
then going on to the apartment.

Oftentimes the bags were dropped before the shopping etc but they
had a good period of time to size me up and decide if I was an ax
murderer. In any case there was never a time when they agreed
to meet me at the airport that they wouldn't also come inside
my apartment.

I've never arranged a "first" face to face meeting in either an
apartment or a hotel where they had to go knock on my door or
wait outside for me to collect them.

FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online msmoby

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2019, 03:41:15 AM »
Just worked out that my ex-wife met me for the first time and stayed at my apartment in Cyprus - not the same bedroom

I first met SC for real at an airport - we stayed in the same apartment ..




Offline Mr strange

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Re: Ever had your first meeting with a woman by sharing the same hotel room?
« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2019, 09:16:09 AM »
With that question there is a real lack of education on what works and how to be succes. This forum is free but it will take you how much time to digest it all as being helpful and the working method of all. Personally its getting more and more outdated of peoples experiences when the heyday of Ukraine girls where there and easier to get so to speak.

Still it's quite obvious by youtube and forums like this that it is a big field of what to do and what not and who to trust in the matter.

To get somewhere and achieve a goal you must follow succesful people who has that rigt steps and advice that still work.

Safe dating in Russia or Ukraine? Without scams? Look for how to stop wasting money on dating by Elena Petrova by using Google.

That will tell you about hotels and apartments too. What is the right thing to do? Its inexpensive as well. I am not in no way promoting Elana but know that in order to be a succes its an investment and this forum, youtube etc is too time consuming for me. Paid education is where it is at.


 

 

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