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Author Topic: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?  (Read 710 times)

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Offline Manny

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Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« on: September 21, 2019, 04:20:55 PM »
I think it’s more important though for her to make American friends here in her adopted homeland.

I disagree. My wife has the odd random pal in the UK (mothers of kids at school for example who invite her to places, women she has met on her travels, etc), but she never made any close friends here with British women in 13 or so years. And she is totally cool with that and happy to stay in touch with her friends in Russia.

She always thought British women don’t really share her values. They want to go out eating chips, or McDonald’s, drinking a lot and nightclubbing till 3am. She’s not into excessive drinking or junk food. British women don’t really get the foreign woman who wants to eat steamed fish before 6pm so she doesn’t get fat, drinks kefir and isn’t interested in being out till 3am drunk.

Women where we live don’t seem particularly big into family values, health, fitness, the gym, fashion or having their kids learn the piano for example. They don’t appear terribly interested in psychology, feng shui, interesting books, travel or other stuff my wife is interested in. They seem big into visiting Nando’s, watching reality TV, obsessing about crap on Facebook, drinking gin and tonic and falling over drunk at 2am while their kids play video games.

Be careful what you wish for. Having your wife make too many local friends may turn her into one of the local women you went abroad to avoid.

Offline Hunter7

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2019, 07:06:28 PM »
I think it’s more important though for her to make American friends here in her adopted homeland.

I disagree. My wife has the odd random pal in the UK (mothers of kids at school for example who invite her to places, women she has met on her travels, etc), but she never made any close friends here with British women in 13 or so years. And she is totally cool with that and happy to stay in touch with her friends in Russia.

She always thought British women don’t really share her values. They want to go out eating chips, or McDonald’s, drinking a lot and nightclubbing till 3am. She’s not into excessive drinking or junk food. British women don’t really get the foreign woman who wants to eat steamed fish before 6pm so she doesn’t get fat, drinks kefir and isn’t interested in being out till 3am drunk.

Women where we live don’t seem particularly big into family values, health, fitness, the gym, fashion or having their kids learn the piano for example. They don’t appear terribly interested in psychology, feng shui, interesting books, travel or other stuff my wife is interested in. They seem big into visiting Nando’s, watching reality TV, obsessing about crap on Facebook, drinking gin and tonic and falling over drunk at 2am while their kids play video games.

Be careful what you wish for. Having your wife make too many local friends may turn her into one of the local women you went abroad to avoid.

I agree and share your views. Funny your wife drinks kefir. I chose a traditional RU woman to court purposely for how un-american and more traditional she will be. The woman I am courting also drinks kefir, as do I.

Everything you state about American women is exactly the behavior I do not want influencing my future wife. Her hobbies, children, the home, and a couple of well chosen friends should help for degeneracy of America not to influence her.

Online Dogsoldier

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2019, 10:04:39 PM »
I think it’s more important though for her to make American friends here in her adopted homeland.

I disagree. My wife has the odd random pal in the UK (mothers of kids at school for example who invite her to places, women she has met on her travels, etc), but she never made any close friends here with British women in 13 or so years. And she is totally cool with that and happy to stay in touch with her friends in Russia.

She always thought British women don’t really share her values. They want to go out eating chips, or McDonald’s, drinking a lot and nightclubbing till 3am. She’s not into excessive drinking or junk food. British women don’t really get the foreign woman who wants to eat steamed fish before 6pm so she doesn’t get fat, drinks kefir and isn’t interested in being out till 3am drunk.

Women where we live don’t seem particularly big into family values, health, fitness, the gym, fashion or having their kids learn the piano for example. They don’t appear terribly interested in psychology, feng shui, interesting books, travel or other stuff my wife is interested in. They seem big into visiting Nando’s, watching reality TV, obsessing about crap on Facebook, drinking gin and tonic and falling over drunk at 2am while their kids play video games.

Be careful what you wish for. Having your wife make too many local friends may turn her into one of the local women you went abroad to avoid.

I agree and share your views. Funny your wife drinks kefir. I chose a traditional RU woman to court purposely for how un-american and more traditional she will be. The woman I am courting also drinks kefir, as do I.

Everything you state about American women is exactly the behavior I do not want influencing my future wife. Her hobbies, children, the home, and a couple of well chosen friends should help for degeneracy of America not to influence her.
You can’t make those choices for her.
She has to make her own friends and find her own way ( with help from you, of course) but don’t try to restrict her choices.
If she’s sensible enough she will adapt in her own way without an all out embrace of ‘ the American way’ and keep to a social construct she is familiar and comfortable with.
Like Mannys wife, my wife too doesn’t have deep friendships with local girls, although she has made friends. She has more friends in the Eastern European diaspora. ( she gets along with Mannys and a few other members wives very well, actually)
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Online msmoby

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2019, 01:42:03 AM »
The responses from UK chaps with FSU wives amused me..

My ex wife had RU sat TV (’oh you shouldn't do that, it will hold back her integration') and met with my UK friends and family, as well as FSU wives of UK based chaps..who also provided their wives with RU TV.

Manny chooses to live in a place where the locals largely do behave as he explains...

I moved my family to a place without a McDs ( they came within six months) or an abundance of chain restaurants.

[0ff topic content removed]

Offline Manny

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2019, 03:12:45 AM »
The responses from UK chaps with FSU wives amused me..

My ex wife had RU sat TV (’oh you shouldn't do that, it will hold back her integration') and met with my UK friends and family, as well as FSU wives of UK based chaps..who also provided their wives with RU TV

That you obsess about providing women with Homeland television isn’t really germane to the discussion.

But you are hardly in a position to explain the best way forward as a married bloke considering the woman you reference above divorced you.

As DS notes above, the diaspora can yield the odd good friend, his wife and mine are a good example of that. Although many unsavoury characters lurk in that pond.

Online msmoby

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2019, 03:59:04 AM »
Indeed she divorced me, but it had b'all to do with any need to break contacts with FSU TV / people .

You should ask your wife to contact her ( again) and ask her )

Offline Manny

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2019, 04:33:30 PM »
You should ask your wife to contact her ( again) and ask her )

As far as I am aware, they didn't stay close. I doubt my wife has any need or desire to contact your ex-wife.

Again, [referencing removed content] this topic is not about personalities, where anyone lives, who votes for whom, who lives in what constituency or Russian TV. Please refrain from trolling this way. Read the topic title and try to contribute something on topic if possible.

Online Steamer

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2019, 10:12:56 PM »
My wife has many US 'acquaintances' that she interacts with but only 3 very close friends. She's very cautious about who she lets into her life.
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Online NS1

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2019, 02:53:32 PM »
My wife met a few friends of mine and their wives.
After a short time she met a few people from Russia and Ukraine.
As anything new, some of those went away quickly when she realized
they were not the type of people she wanted to be around.

She now has a few good friends, a Couple from Eastern Europe and a couple from here.
Not based on language, rather based on compatibility. IMO thats what anyone should do
regardless of where you are or from.

As for TV. She watches mostly English TV. on occasion she watches Ukrainian news and the odd sit-com
she watched when she lived there.

Personally I believe these are her decisions not mine, she is an adult.
She does not tell me who to like or what I should like on the Tube.
I don't understand why this is a big deal?
Trying to control someone is likely another whole topic.
There is nothing permanent except change.

Offline Manny

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2019, 01:16:40 PM »
After a short time she met a few people from Russia and Ukraine.
As anything new, some of those went away quickly when she realized
they were not the type of people she wanted to be around.

We had the same experience.

She now has a few good friends, a Couple from Eastern Europe and a couple from here.
Not based on language, rather based on compatibility. IMO thats what anyone should do
regardless of where you are or from.

I agree with that.

As for TV. She watches mostly English TV. on occasion she watches Ukrainian news and the odd sit-com
she watched when she lived there.

Same here.

Online NS1

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2019, 03:13:45 PM »
After a short time she met a few people from Russia and Ukraine.
As anything new, some of those went away quickly when she realized
they were not the type of people she wanted to be around.

We had the same experience.

She now has a few good friends, a Couple from Eastern Europe and a couple from here.
Not based on language, rather based on compatibility. IMO thats what anyone should do
regardless of where you are or from.

I agree with that.

As for TV. She watches mostly English TV. on occasion she watches Ukrainian news and the odd sit-com
she watched when she lived there.

Same here.

As your wife did my wife kept in contact with a few friends from home.
Thanks to the wonderful world of social media, speaking to them is easy and cheap.
IE: no restrictions, no real costs.

My wife is a bit like myself in the regards that she does not want many many friends.
She enjoyed doing her own thing as do I. She has created her routines she enjoys and
manages to figure out people and or services she likes or dislikes.

I suppose if someone found a stupid women, they may have to do some of this for her.
Or if your terrified of a smart independent women, then you may try to control her.
Odds are if you do either of these the clock is ticking.
There is nothing permanent except change.

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2019, 03:16:55 PM »
On another note our kids are grown up and when not working we spend most
of our free time together, we are each others best friend. I suspect this the best
long term scenario for most.

There is nothing permanent except change.

Offline Valenki

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Re: Is it important for your wife to make local western friends?
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2019, 11:42:32 PM »
I think it’s more important though for her to make American friends here in her adopted homeland.

I disagree. My wife has the odd random pal in the UK (mothers of kids at school for example who invite her to places, women she has met on her travels, etc), but she never made any close friends here with British women in 13 or so years. And she is totally cool with that and happy to stay in touch with her friends in Russia.

She always thought British women don’t really share her values. They want to go out eating chips, or McDonald’s, drinking a lot and nightclubbing till 3am. She’s not into excessive drinking or junk food. British women don’t really get the foreign woman who wants to eat steamed fish before 6pm so she doesn’t get fat, drinks kefir and isn’t interested in being out till 3am drunk.

Women where we live don’t seem particularly big into family values, health, fitness, the gym, fashion or having their kids learn the piano for example. They don’t appear terribly interested in psychology, feng shui, interesting books, travel or other stuff my wife is interested in. They seem big into visiting Nando’s, watching reality TV, obsessing about crap on Facebook, drinking gin and tonic and falling over drunk at 2am while their kids play video games.

Be careful what you wish for. Having your wife make too many local friends may turn her into one of the local women you went abroad to avoid.
Slavic notions can be expressed (in words) but not felt (without words) by non-Slavic people. My wife is from Slovakia and she gets on wonderfully and completely with her best friend who is from Bulgaria. She also gets on well with Poles, Czechs, and with Russians (to some degree) much better than with any of our Swedish acquaintances. Denying her the opportunity to meet fellow Slavs would be inhumane and would end in catastrophe. 
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