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Author Topic: Anyone here remember me?  (Read 1290 times)

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Offline Ward_Cleaver

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Anyone here remember me?
« on: August 15, 2019, 07:46:50 PM »
I married Ms. Novosibirsk in December of 2015 ... and got divorced in March of this year (2019).

And now I'm here posting about it.

Online Guile

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2019, 10:55:52 PM »
Never heard of you...but sorry to hear what happened.

Online msmoby

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2019, 11:06:10 PM »
Welcome back to the mad house !

Sorry to read it didn't work out with Miss Siberia.





Offline AvHdB

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2019, 01:07:17 AM »
Ward, Welcome back! Some of the usual suspects are still around.

Sorry to read of the demise of your relationship.

Hope you can share insights and opinions.

Av
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Manny

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2019, 01:53:29 AM »
Welcome back Ward!  :thumbsup:

Please tell us the story.

Offline Chris

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2019, 02:08:45 AM »
Wow a blast from the past, we wondered where you had disappeared too, sorry to hear about your divorce, but welcome back!

Offline redroo

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2019, 02:24:24 AM »
Hi Ward,
Welcome back, but sorry for the reason.
4 years is a pretty good relationship, but not great for a marriage.
I'm sure there's a story there when you're ready to share
best wishes, Roo

Online andrewfi

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2019, 03:07:10 AM »
Hi Ward, I confess to having been curious about what happened to you.

I hope that your former wife's career advanced as well as she expected. And that you're not too badly off for having been in the same time zone as her. :)

...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online rosco

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #8 on: August 16, 2019, 05:23:17 AM »
I think I just about remember you? Sorry to hear about the divorce but by all means please share your story. It could be a good lesson for some of us here.

Offline Ward_Cleaver

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2019, 06:01:58 AM »
Should I share my experience here or in another part of the forum?

Online Dogsoldier

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2019, 06:55:15 AM »
I remember something about horses in your narrative.

Please do share your story.
All I know is that Moby knows nothing - Plato.
Wiz loves talking out of his A******e - Me.

Online andrewfi

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2019, 07:24:15 AM »
Hey, we are curious. Did she move into the home you were preparing. Did she get the job she was coming for. Were you a no-job backstop? Did you make babies? Did she eat your heart? Are you in prison for murder?

Enquiring minds want to know!

The floor is yours.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Manny

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2019, 08:21:18 AM »
Should I share my experience here or in another part of the forum?

Why not start a fresh topic here?

Offline Hunter7

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2019, 06:57:22 PM »
Should I share my experience here or in another part of the forum?

Please share

Online Lord of the Dance

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2019, 08:24:24 PM »
Should I share my experience here or in another part of the forum?

Please share

Yeah, I'd be interested as well but it looks like this character has flown the coop once again. Maybe he'll be back…
"We'll start over again. Grow ourselves new skin. Get a house in Devon. Drink cider from a lemon." ~ Feeder

Offline Ward_Cleaver

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #15 on: September 30, 2019, 08:41:19 PM »
Yeah, I'd be interested as well but it looks like this character has flown the coop once again. Maybe he'll be back…

Yeah, I think I'll be back.  It's just really hard for me to talk about it and accept that she is really gone and that there is no going back.  I think I've been deluding myself into believing that some day she will come back. I'm dating, and have been for a while now, but I'm just not optimistic about things like I used to be.

Online Guile

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2019, 01:31:54 AM »
Yeah, I'd be interested as well but it looks like this character has flown the coop once again. Maybe he'll be back…

Yeah, I think I'll be back.  It's just really hard for me to talk about it and accept that she is really gone and that there is no going back.  I think I've been deluding myself into believing that some day she will come back. I'm dating, and have been for a while now, but I'm just not optimistic about things like I used to be.

Tell us what happened! and don't wait another month to post  :)

Online andrewfi

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #17 on: October 01, 2019, 02:16:44 AM »
Well, divorce is not one a thing that one walks back.

Here's a thing, talking, or even better, writing about important matters is a great way to reprogram your mind. If you need to come to terms with where you are now then telling the story, even if you never share it, is a great way to understand your situation. And yeah, that's what a therapist would tell you - its how talking therapy works!

Another thing, even if you are dating, you won't be able to make a successful relationship until you are committed to the idea that she is gone. The women you meet will soon pick up on the issue, even if you say nothing.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Ward_Cleaver

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #18 on: October 30, 2019, 07:02:56 PM »
Well, divorce is not one a thing that one walks back.

Here's a thing, talking, or even better, writing about important matters is a great way to reprogram your mind. If you need to come to terms with where you are now then telling the story, even if you never share it, is a great way to understand your situation. And yeah, that's what a therapist would tell you - its how talking therapy works!

Another thing, even if you are dating, you won't be able to make a successful relationship until you are committed to the idea that she is gone. The women you meet will soon pick up on the issue, even if you say nothing.

Very good points.  It has taken me a while to get better enough to be able look back and realize how messed up in the head I was over her.  I think I'm pretty well over her because I'm finally at a place where I wouldn't take her back if I had the opportunity because I can see how unhealthy she was for me.  It was just really hard for me to let go.

But now I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.  My oldest daughter has left the house for college and I've only got one 17 year old daughter left at home.  I thought I was going to start a family with Mrs Novosibirsk.  I was really looking forward to that and wonder now if that is something I should continue to pursue or give up on.  I'm 45 years old.  I don't feel to old to start over again and I think I would really enjoy it with the right woman.  But I worry if by the time I find her she will be to old.

What do you guys think?  Mrs. Novosibirsk just turned 30 this year (15 year age gap) and I was beginning to worry that if we didn't start soon it would be to late for us.  Is a 15+ year age gap (for healthy children) reasonable (with either a US or Russian woman).

Online Guile

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #19 on: October 30, 2019, 08:31:14 PM »
What was the reason for the divorce?  45 is still relatively young.  Women can have children up to around 40 although that is cutting it close.  You can find a woman in her early or mid 30's for sure.

Online BillyB

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #20 on: October 30, 2019, 08:48:30 PM »
What do you guys think?  Mrs. Novosibirsk just turned 30 this year (15 year age gap) and I was beginning to worry that if we didn't start soon it would be to late for us.  Is a 15+ year age gap (for healthy children) reasonable (with either a US or Russian woman).


I think it's a bad idea to impregnate the ex regardless of age. :) If older people and people with large age gaps want to have kids, and will do their best to help the kids grow in a healthy environment, it's not a bad thing.

Offline Valenki

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #21 on: October 30, 2019, 10:11:22 PM »
What do you guys think?  Mrs. Novosibirsk just turned 30 this year (15 year age gap) and I was beginning to worry that if we didn't start soon it would be to late for us.  Is a 15+ year age gap (for healthy children) reasonable (with either a US or Russian woman).


I think it's a bad idea to impregnate the ex regardless of age. :) If older people and people with large age gaps want to have kids, and will do their best to help the kids grow in a healthy environment, it's not a bad thing.
I am 72, my wife is 50, and our son is 12. You do the math. We have a stable and loving relationship between us and the only negative thing (if it can be considered 'negative') is that people assume I am his grandfather.
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Online andrewfi

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2019, 05:50:50 AM »
Having sprogs is only something that you can decide about. When I was your age, I was up for it. Now? Nope!

There are all sorts of reasons for that change, only part of it is about my age! The biggest partis about lifestyle.

Just a few years ago, I was willing to change my mind and be in a relationship where a kid was going to be a given. Sadly she ended the relationship because she thought I was too old to be the dad of 'her' ankle biter. On the other hand, she is still without a kid and her younger bloke has made it clear that any kids she has will not be the fruit of his loins.

You have a point about the timeline. However, in my opinion, the biggest point is the lifestyle thing. If you expect your life to bobble along on its current course, with the exception of a wife and possible kid, then go for it.

If you anticipate your life to change in shape as you grow older then does that expected or planned change have room for one or more rug rats? How would you feel about abandoning those plans to suit some young bint?

That's why I chose to discard the idea of having a kid and of being associated with a woman who gave any hint she wanted to breed. I don't want to give up on the way my life is going, I want to share it with somebody of similar disposition and I have no intention of depth charging it with a sprog.

P.S, you probably can't imagine the black hole that opened up in my stomach when, a few days ago, the woman I am currently seeing and who is of eminently childrearing age told me, contrary to all previous discussion, that maybe another kid would be a good idea. I had instant visions of only ever dating post-menopausal women as a defence against nappies and teen nightmares. Two days later she told me to scrub that thought after her 11-year-old kid had reminded her why he never had a sibling!

...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online yankee

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2019, 06:06:31 AM »
Having sprogs is only something that you can decide about. When I was your age, I was up for it. Now? Nope!

There are all sorts of reasons for that change, only part of it is about my age! The biggest partis about lifestyle.

Just a few years ago, I was willing to change my mind and be in a relationship where a kid was going to be a given. Sadly she ended the relationship because she thought I was too old to be the dad of 'her' ankle biter. On the other hand, she is still without a kid and her younger bloke has made it clear that any kids she has will not be the fruit of his loins.

You have a point about the timeline. However, in my opinion, the biggest point is the lifestyle thing. If you expect your life to bobble along on its current course, with the exception of a wife and possible kid, then go for it.

If you anticipate your life to change in shape as you grow older then does that expected or planned change have room for one or more rug rats? How would you feel about abandoning those plans to suit some young bint?

That's why I chose to discard the idea of having a kid and of being associated with a woman who gave any hint she wanted to breed. I don't want to give up on the way my life is going, I want to share it with somebody of similar disposition and I have no intention of depth charging it with a sprog.

P.S, you probably can't imagine the black hole that opened up in my stomach when, a few days ago, the woman I am currently seeing and who is of eminently childrearing age told me, contrary to all previous discussion, that maybe another kid would be a good idea. I had instant visions of only ever dating post-menopausal women as a defence against nappies and teen nightmares. Two days later she told me to scrub that thought after her 11-year-old kid had reminded her why he never had a sibling!

Not everybody is good at raising children, If I had life to do over I would have a vasectomy at the age of 12.
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online andrewfi

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Re: Anyone here remember me?
« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2019, 06:16:17 AM »
I understand that, but it ain't Ward's problem is it? He seems to have done ok with his.

Personally, I think I'd have been a good dad. But I really don't want to be one now, except as a part-timer who perhaps lives with the kid's mum.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!


 

 

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