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Author Topic: I don't think anyone else is like me  (Read 662 times)

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Offline justadude

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I don't think anyone else is like me
« on: April 16, 2019, 08:19:29 PM »
I know I'm in the wrong place if I'm looking for sympathy, given the detailed information I've related about how I've hurt FSU women.

 I suspect that many of the men (who I believe to generally be middle age+) on this forum have their own challenges and baggage that accompany this stage of life. Given all of that, I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Others just can't relate to me and the choices I make. I am routinely struck by how different my view of things is and how different my experiences are.

I'm in Mexico right now. I can be fairly gregarious and outgoing. A couple of days ago I struck up a conversation with an American dude who is married to a Mexican woman. He works in the US but lives in Mexico with her, crossing the border every day. After about a half hour of small talk I told him I was discouraged and asked him abut the likelyhood of  meeting a latina, since it had worked out for him. He told me about his story, about how his American wife had died 7 years ago. He more or less shut down for a few years but his buddies began to try to get him out of the house. Also he now has a network of friends in Mexico.

I don't have buddies like that. I have a couple of friends that I hang out with from time to time, but it is almost always me making the effort. I can't imagine ever having friends that give a s** about me to the point that they would try to help me if I was like that guy. In fact, if I died during my summer vacation from work, I could see it taking close to two weeks
before anyone would find out.  My daughter would come looking after not communicating with me for that long.

At other times I think I'm such a badass. If I meet a woman(especially when it happens not on online or with an ap) I can be pretty good. I look way younger than I am and I'm fairly easy on the eyes. When I do meet a girl she is almost always way younger than me.

The guy mentioned above advised me to go to a certain part of town and hang out at Starbucks or something. Heeding his advice, I stopped off a the cell phone company to add some data to my Mexican phone plan. I got the number of the cute girl that helped me and met her for a drink after she got off work. We seemed to hit it off and right then I feel quite the guy. Her and I make plans to hang out in 2 days, which was today. She texted around the arranged meeting time to suggest a change in plans due to rain and we postponed our meeting until a few hours later. When that time came she texted to say she unexpectedly had to go into work  and cancelled our date. Then I feel lower than a worm.

Most of the time I'm alone and I feel pathetic. Then I get into a relationship and want out of it.

I think most of the men on this forum believe in true love and that the goal in life is to find one member of the opposite sex to be with until one of you dies. It makes so much sense. Why can't I do that? My most recent gf dumped me for the 4th time. She said she cannot tolerate my indifference toward her. I can name a lot of things that I've done for her and ways that I've been a good boyfriend, but she's right. She said "how come you never try to stop me when I say I'm going to leave". I didn't take this as manipulation. She wants to know that I want her enough to fight for her, and I don't. She's not perfect but she's sweet and cute and funny and sarcastic and in shape and 26 years younger than me. But that's not enough for me. I suck. Sometimes I just loathe myself.


Online Guile

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2019, 09:26:43 PM »
Dude you got issues you need to work out. You are in Cali, why go to Mexico when there's so many latinas in LA or around?

Yeah you seem to have commitment issues and an apathetic view, not making the extra effort.  Well no one here can help you, you gotta change your ways.


Online BillyB

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2019, 10:30:17 PM »
I'm in Mexico right now.


Your mind should be in Mexico and enjoying your vacation. Save the heavy topics for later.


Online msmoby

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2019, 01:48:37 AM »
I just think you need to find a woman closercto your age who is also 'way younger than she loooks' and you might have more in common.

You are correct that this is not the right place to bare your soul...

You are much too honest ..Many on here would have you believe they are happy in their lives...who offer you 'advice'..

Do lots...in the day..sray away from bars and go to shows at night..enjoy Mexico

Online Guile

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2019, 03:07:36 AM »

Do lots...in the day..sray away from bars and go to shows at night..enjoy Mexico

what useless advice...stay away from bars? what shows exactly do you mean, have you been to Mexico before?

we get it you are 60 and nightclubs ain't your thang. 

Online msmoby

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2019, 08:41:20 AM »

what useless advice...stay away from bars? what shows exactly do you mean, have you been to Mexico before?

we get it you are 60 and nightclubs ain't your thang.

As ever the troll, arrives with what he disagrees with for fails to suggest an alternative .. go figure .. ;)

Yes, I've been to Mexico ..89 , TJ ..not Cancun, of course ..

..and i'm still not 60 nor in my sixties,  you muppet  :coffeeread:

Offline Manny

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2019, 08:56:43 AM »
I had to chuckle at the advice from his pal of hanging out in a Starbucks. I’d seen the same written about men who want to meet women in China and thought it was nonsense as you can generally meet a woman anywhere if random chat ups in public are your thing.

Recently again, I happened to be standing in a queue in Starbucks in China (not for the purpose of meeting women I might add) waiting for a cup of coffee, and a random woman came over flirting and started talking to me. This has happened several times already across several visits. I’d made a mental note that the women seem particularly chatty in English in Starbucks. The same can be said of a particular large shopping mall where foreigners tend to congregate.

I did later glean from others in conversation that the Starbucks is a well-known thing, and women who have an interest in foreign men tend to spend a large amount of time lurking around a local Starbucks where they are all be found. And it is true that in the Starbucks there are a larger number of foreigners than one would expect to see in another random queue in China. So I suppose it’s logical for women who have an interest in foreign men.

Looks like it’s the same deal in Mexico.

I suppose the question for the OP is should he be seeking unions with foreign women yet after all this has happened to him? If he likes the idea of a Mexican woman, perhaps better just to spend some time there and slowly build a network of friends and gather introductions that way. Or rather, don’t be seeking out a new relationship per se, just socialise, have some fun and maybe one will happen naturally eventually when he’s in a better place to start one.

I see Moby’s point that perhaps looking around bars isn’t the ideal place to meet a serious woman; I doubt that advice is due to Mobys age as Guile suggested. Rather a bit of common sense if thinking about a potential wife. Bars are generally where one may meet a casual girl, which might not be a bad thing in the OP’s case. Better he just hangs out with a few folks and builds a network of friends and take it from there.
please tell me where I'm being / have been 'dishonest'? 
Yes, he said that.........

Online Confederate

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2019, 10:45:05 AM »
There are plenty of really hot sexy willing Latinas in California, no need to go South of the border for that.

I believe it’s clear the op simply wants a quick ego boost and then a quick exit, no strings attached.

That’s fine however this forum is not the place for psychotherapy, that costs real cash and one assumes it wouldn’t be from a bunch of guys with good intentions, and free advice may have a certain price tag in itself, it’s likely worthless for someone crying out for help.

Seek in the correct place, and you’ll find. Good luck.
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke

Offline Manny

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2019, 12:04:59 PM »
I believe it’s clear the op simply wants a quick ego boost and then a quick exit, no strings attached.

That might be what he needs. If he can find willing women down there, then why not if it doesn’t hurt anybody?
please tell me where I'm being / have been 'dishonest'? 
Yes, he said that.........

Online NS1

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2019, 01:58:38 PM »
Having some fun is cool as long as its straight up.
No harm no foul.

as for you, IMO you will never find happiness unless you
are happy on your own. Whatever your issues are fix them
or get help to understand them. Once that happens then you can find
what floats your boat.

You will never find anyone who can fill voids or solve your issues
at least not long term. If you can't be honest with them fine.
But you better be honest with yourself.
There is nothing permanent except change.

Online Confederate

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2019, 02:16:37 PM »
I believe it’s clear the op simply wants a quick ego boost and then a quick exit, no strings attached.

That might be what he needs. If he can find willing women down there, then why not if it doesn’t hurt anybody?


Believe me I agree 100%!!

For about $60 to $100 he should be able to find a 22 year old gal who looks like a Penthouse Centerfold (literally) and fu&@s like a pornstar who needs to feed and clothe her child.

So why is he on here whining “woe is me....”?!!  :chuckle:
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke

Online yankee

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2019, 03:11:30 PM »
I believe it’s clear the op simply wants a quick ego boost and then a quick exit, no strings attached.

That might be what he needs. If he can find willing women down there, then why not if it doesn’t hurt anybody?


Believe me I agree 100%!!

For about $60 to $100 he should be able to find a 22 year old gal who looks like a Penthouse Centerfold (literally) and fu&@s like a pornstar who needs to feed and clothe her child.

So why is he on here whining “woe is me....”?!!  :chuckle:

She could also be a slave.  Lots of sex trafficking down there.
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online Confederate

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #12 on: April 17, 2019, 03:55:51 PM »
I believe it’s clear the op simply wants a quick ego boost and then a quick exit, no strings attached.

That might be what he needs. If he can find willing women down there, then why not if it doesn’t hurt anybody?


Believe me I agree 100%!!

For about $60 to $100 he should be able to find a 22 year old gal who looks like a Penthouse Centerfold (literally) and fu&@s like a pornstar who needs to feed and clothe her child.

So why is he on here whining “woe is me....”?!!  :chuckle:

She could also be a slave.  Lots of sex trafficking down there.

Doubtful.

You're thinking of the USA where girls are kept under lock and key in some shady isolated industrial section of town.

I'm thinking of the average tourist town where beautiful women suddenly become independent contractors when they're short of rent money, etc.

A friend of mine told me about one of the most beautiful women he ever met who said she was saving to start her own dry cleaning business.  :chuckle:
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke

Online Guile

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #13 on: April 17, 2019, 07:00:14 PM »
justdude you seem to play the "woe is me" sympathy card here alot.  You proposed to a Ukraine girl, got the fiancee visa, had a side local chick while at it, flip flopped a hundred times if you wanted to go through with the marriage.  Wouldn't compromise on your vegan diet and wouldn't even bother to meet her halfway in NY.   Grow some "cojones " as the Mexicans would say.

You saying that you don't have good guy friends says alot.  You need a few good buddies to count on.

The women you attract do seem to have some co-dependent tendencies, breaking up and wanting to get back.

Well figure it out bud, you a grown ass man.  Show some empathy and care, stop only thinking about yourself. 


Online Confederate

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Re: I don't think anyone else is like me
« Reply #14 on: April 17, 2019, 07:50:24 PM »
justdude you seem to play the "woe is me" sympathy card here alot.  You proposed to a Ukraine girl, got the fiancee visa, had a side local chick while at it, flip flopped a hundred times if you wanted to go through with the marriage.  Wouldn't compromise on your vegan diet and wouldn't even bother to meet her halfway in NY.   Grow some "cojones " as the Mexicans would say.

You saying that you don't have good guy friends says alot.  You need a few good buddies to count on.

The women you attract do seem to have some co-dependent tendencies, breaking up and wanting to get back.

Well figure it out bud, you a grown ass man.  Show some empathy and care, stop only thinking about yourself.


Bravo!  :BEER:
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke


 

 

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