The World's #1 Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion & Information Forum - RUA!

This Is the Premier Discussion Forum on the Net for Information and Discussion about Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union. Discuss Culture, Politics, Travelling, Language, International Relationships and More. Chat with Travellers, Locals, Residents and Expats. Ask and Answer Questions about Travel, Culture, Relationships, Applying for Visas, Translators, Interpreters, and More. Give Advice, Read Trip Reports, Share Experiences and Make Friends.

Author Topic: Is marriage for life?  (Read 3941 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline justadude

  • Member
  • Posts: 333
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 1-5
Is marriage for life?
« on: January 05, 2019, 06:26:53 PM »
It will probably be difficult to get any useful data from this thread, me being me and all. I considered posting this in my adventure story report, but am hoping (not a lot of hope, honestly) it can be more objectively answered here.

Marrying a person from another country notwithstanding, do you believe marriage is for life? Roughly half of first marriages end in divorce and a much larger portion of 2nd and 3rd marriages do. The median length of a marriage in the US is 11 years.

With the stats being what they are, is it not foolish to enter a marriage expecting to stay married for life, or to feel sorely cheated if both partners outlive the marriage?

I don't necessarily think a marriage that ends in divorce was a failure, in the same way a corporation that divides itself in two is not necessarily a failure. Yes there will likely be hurt (I don't want to understate this) feelings, but I think it's possible for two people to be together for a time (married or not), to split up and to realize that they have benefited from their time together (which is not to say that all marriages are mutually beneficial).

I think the foundation of our divorce laws is this antiquated equation: marriage=survival. For vast segments of the population, that was true up until the 1950s, but isn't largely true anymore in America. If I'm right, why does there need to be so much vitriol when a marriage ends? 

Online BillyB

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 697
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2019, 10:21:00 PM »
Marrying a person from another country notwithstanding, do you believe marriage is for life? Roughly half of first marriages end in divorce and a much larger portion of 2nd and 3rd marriages do. The median length of a marriage in the US is 11 years.


Marriage is supposed to be for life otherwise just don't get married and rotate women.

Don't get depressed by the statistics. 50% chance in getting divorce is a lot better than the odds of dying.

Online Lord of the Dance

  • Supporting Hero Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 644
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2019, 11:49:15 PM »
Don't get depressed by the statistics. 50% chance in getting divorce is a lot better than the odds of dying.

 :thumbsup:
"We'll start over again. Grow ourselves new skin. Get a house in Devon. Drink cider from a lemon." ~ Feeder


Online Steveboy

  • Commercial Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3871
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: In The Business
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2019, 03:38:45 AM »
Life is too short to think about divorce rates and what if!

Just enjoy your time on the planet and relax!
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Online yankee

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1269
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2019, 06:32:55 AM »
Marrying a person from another country notwithstanding, do you believe marriage is for life? Roughly half of first marriages end in divorce and a much larger portion of 2nd and 3rd marriages do. The median length of a marriage in the US is 11 years.


Marriage is supposed to be for life otherwise just don't get married and rotate women.

Don't get depressed by the statistics. 50% chance in getting divorce is a lot better than the odds of dying.

Been divorced twice.  Both marriages were 18.5 years.  Successful?   I think so.
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online Guile

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1226
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2019, 07:18:09 AM »
Depends on your religion. be a sect or cult leader and you can have 20 wives!!

Online rosco

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3512
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2019, 10:34:15 AM »
I believe you should get married, with the intention of staying married for life. Many things change for good and bad, as the years progress and you should be prepared to work through the hard times, be open to compromise and do your best.

Of course if you’re miserable and you’ve done your best, then it’s time to make changes. It would be rediculous staying in a miserable relationship because you feel marriage is for life.

Online andrewfi

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 17717
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
    • Articles About Almost Anything!
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2019, 11:46:53 AM »
Never been married but, in part, that's because I see marriage as being a permanent state. Don't see it that way, don't get married.

On the other hand, a commitment is a commitment so don't use not seeing a relationship as being permanent let you give yourself an excuse to not commit to a person and relationship.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online yankee

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1269
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2019, 12:17:37 PM »
Never been married but, in part, that's because I see marriage as being a permanent state. Don't see it that way, don't get married.

On the other hand, a commitment is a commitment so don't use not seeing a relationship as being permanent let you give yourself an excuse to not commit to a person and relationship.


Andrew, did you know that most divorces in the USA are filed by the wife?
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online andrewfi

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 17717
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
    • Articles About Almost Anything!
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2019, 02:20:07 PM »
Yes, I did. And there's good reasons for that. Some might say that it is because women can profit from divorce in the USA but my feeling, based upon my experience and information is that in modern societies marriage offers fewer benefits to women than to men - particularly once kids are grown up. But that has no impact upon myself, or that I think that marriage is a commitment that one makes for life. There is perhaps a need for some kind of short-term legal commitment, a short-term marriage, renewable by an agreement that ends without penalty at the end of the contracted period. Of course, that'd not go down well with many people for all sorts of reasons but given increasing lifespans through the civilized world (apart from the USA) a lifetime can be a very long time!
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Mr strange

  • Member
  • Posts: 106
  • Country: dk
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Committed
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2019, 08:03:51 PM »
Married or not I am 100% dedicated for the true love of my special one. That I know within myself.

Online dcguyusa

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1303
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: North America, South America, Europe, Asia
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2019, 06:06:17 PM »
For those religiously inclined, marriage was considered as a sacred covenant between the couple.  So breaking apart was a violation of the sacrament.  This was one reason why some stayed married despite not being an actual couple.  For those not concerned with this, they can form a relationship outside of marriage.  "Living in sin" was a big issue before the 1960s.  Women tended to be home makers who depended on the "bread winner" for their livelihood.  The termination of a marriage and "living in sin" are no longer looked down upon as in the past.  People still get married thinking that it will last until death. Since half break apart, then it seems that some people are getting married with false expectations.  Should these failed marriages been looked upon as successes?  It depends.  Some produce children.  Some end up in financial or mental anguish.  Some end up in murder.  Sometimes you wish you could have chosen a "different path" instead of the failed marriage.  Unless you are fabulously wealthy, your options in life will be limited (and that applies to >99% of the world's population).
An uninformed opponent is a dangerous opponent.

"Y'all be makin shit up" ~ Markeith Loyd

Offline justadude

  • Member
  • Posts: 333
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 1-5
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2019, 10:11:24 PM »
Some interesting responses. I think it's an interesting idea to toss around. I think it's undeniable that the purpose of marriage, societal attitudes about marriage, the lengths of marriages and the reasons people marry have changed quite a bit throughout history. I would venture that perhaps the last 60 years, in the USA at least, has seen the biggest shifts in the shortest amount of time.

Online dcguyusa

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1303
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: North America, South America, Europe, Asia
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: None Yet
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2019, 05:38:55 PM »
The Vietnam war brought big changes in American society.  The "hippie" generation usurped the previous images of the American male.  The female "home maker" image also became less common.  And the "pill" helped to spur the sexual revolution.

Quote
On May 9, 1960, the FDA announced it would approve Enovid 10 mg for contraceptive use, and did so on June 23, 1960.

Psychedelic drug use went rampant.  Rock music changed the young.  And the introduction of TV allowed you to see many things that you could not do so before (other than through radio, newspaper, and magazines).  All in the 1960s. Probably the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution.


Where are the Luddites?   :chuckle:
An uninformed opponent is a dangerous opponent.

"Y'all be makin shit up" ~ Markeith Loyd

Online yankee

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1269
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #14 on: January 16, 2019, 03:18:51 AM »
The Vietnam war brought big changes in American society.  The "hippie" generation usurped the previous images of the American male.  The female "home maker" image also became less common.  And the "pill" helped to spur the sexual revolution.

Quote
On May 9, 1960, the FDA announced it would approve Enovid 10 mg for contraceptive use, and did so on June 23, 1960.

Psychedelic drug use went rampant.  Rock music changed the young.  And the introduction of TV allowed you to see many things that you could not do so before (other than through radio, newspaper, and magazines).  All in the 1960s. Probably the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution.


Where are the Luddites?   :chuckle:

We had a TV in the late 1940s
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online Dogsoldier

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3561
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Україна
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #15 on: January 16, 2019, 10:35:05 AM »
The Vietnam war brought big changes in American society.  The "hippie" generation usurped the previous images of the American male.  The female "home maker" image also became less common.  And the "pill" helped to spur the sexual revolution.

Quote
On May 9, 1960, the FDA announced it would approve Enovid 10 mg for contraceptive use, and did so on June 23, 1960.

Psychedelic drug use went rampant.  Rock music changed the young.  And the introduction of TV allowed you to see many things that you could not do so before (other than through radio, newspaper, and magazines).  All in the 1960s. Probably the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution.


Where are the Luddites?   :chuckle:

We had a TV in the late 1940s
????. Getting on a bit, aren’t you?
All I know is that Moby knows nothing - Plato.
Wiz loves talking out of his A******e - Me.

Online yankee

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1269
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #16 on: January 16, 2019, 11:39:53 AM »
The Vietnam war brought big changes in American society.  The "hippie" generation usurped the previous images of the American male.  The female "home maker" image also became less common.  And the "pill" helped to spur the sexual revolution.

Quote
On May 9, 1960, the FDA announced it would approve Enovid 10 mg for contraceptive use, and did so on June 23, 1960.

Psychedelic drug use went rampant.  Rock music changed the young.  And the introduction of TV allowed you to see many things that you could not do so before (other than through radio, newspaper, and magazines).  All in the 1960s. Probably the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution.


Where are the Luddites?   :chuckle:

We had a TV in the late 1940s
????. Getting on a bit, aren’t you?


Have no fear, your day will come! :thumbsup:
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online BillyB

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 697
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2019, 09:21:05 PM »

One reason marriage rates drop and divorce rates increase are because of social programs. People are more likely to leave a marriage when they know they'll be taken care of afterwards.

Online Dogsoldier

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3561
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Україна
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2019, 06:11:33 AM »
The Vietnam war brought big changes in American society.  The "hippie" generation usurped the previous images of the American male.  The female "home maker" image also became less common.  And the "pill" helped to spur the sexual revolution.

Quote
On May 9, 1960, the FDA announced it would approve Enovid 10 mg for contraceptive use, and did so on June 23, 1960.

Psychedelic drug use went rampant.  Rock music changed the young.  And the introduction of TV allowed you to see many things that you could not do so before (other than through radio, newspaper, and magazines).  All in the 1960s. Probably the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution.


Where are the Luddites?   :chuckle:

We had a TV in the late 1940s
????. Getting on a bit, aren’t you?


Have no fear, your day will come! :thumbsup:
No doubt.....but from the 1940’s!!!!!!!!
All I know is that Moby knows nothing - Plato.
Wiz loves talking out of his A******e - Me.

Online yankee

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1269
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2019, 06:44:43 AM »
The Vietnam war brought big changes in American society.  The "hippie" generation usurped the previous images of the American male.  The female "home maker" image also became less common.  And the "pill" helped to spur the sexual revolution.

Quote
On May 9, 1960, the FDA announced it would approve Enovid 10 mg for contraceptive use, and did so on June 23, 1960.

Psychedelic drug use went rampant.  Rock music changed the young.  And the introduction of TV allowed you to see many things that you could not do so before (other than through radio, newspaper, and magazines).  All in the 1960s. Probably the biggest shift since the Industrial Revolution.


Where are the Luddites?   :chuckle:

We had a TV in the late 1940s
????. Getting on a bit, aren’t you?


Have no fear, your day will come! :thumbsup:
No doubt.....but from the 1940’s!!!!!!!!


My father bought our first TV in 1949 before I was two years old.
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online yankee

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1269
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #20 on: January 18, 2019, 06:47:50 AM »
If you are having troubles with the 1940's remember I am almost 72.  Now count backwards …...
What is worse than not being able to get what you don't even want?

Online rosco

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3512
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2019, 01:23:07 PM »
If you are having troubles with the 1940's remember I am almost 72.  Now count backwards …...

I’d love to post the Leanardo Dicaprio gif from when he was clapping on wolf of Wall Street. Great effort and many more healthy years ahead!  tiphat

Online 2tallbill

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14579
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #22 on: January 19, 2019, 05:45:49 PM »
We had a TV in the late 1940s

In 1950 only 9 percent of American households had a television set, but by 1960
the figure had reached 90 percent.

https://memory.loc.gov/ammem/awhhtml/awmi10/television.html
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online 2tallbill

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14579
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #23 on: January 19, 2019, 05:53:13 PM »
If you are having troubles with the 1940's remember I am almost 72.  Now count backwards …...

I’d love to post the Leanardo Dicaprio gif from when he was clapping on wolf of Wall Street. Great effort and many more healthy years ahead!  tiphat


I found this one first



This one seemed most appropriate
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online Dogsoldier

  • Supporting Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3561
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Україна
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Is marriage for life?
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2019, 03:58:31 AM »
If you are having troubles with the 1940's remember I am almost 72.  Now count backwards …...
That’s too many numbers......????
All I know is that Moby knows nothing - Plato.
Wiz loves talking out of his A******e - Me.


 

 

Registration