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Poll

Have you ever been rejected by a woman? In person or by message Romantically

In person I have never been accepted. I have circles all over my body where I have been pushed away by a ten foot pole
0 (0%)
In person I have been rejected so many times I couldn't get a woman's attention in a $20 dollar whorehouse with a $100 bill taped to my forehead
0 (0%)
In person I am a priest take my views of celebacy seriously
1 (4.8%)
In person I have been rejected many times, too many to count
2 (9.5%)
In person I have been rejected many times
1 (4.8%)
In person I have been rejected occasionally
11 (52.4%)
In person I have been never been rejected by a woman
0 (0%)
Women are mysterious and very scary, I have never approached one in person or sent a message to one but hope to marry a Russian woman
0 (0%)
I've sent out messages or emails and got an insulting letter in reply (insulting hard rejection)
2 (9.5%)
I've sent out messages or emails and have been told that they weren't interested (hard rejection)
1 (4.8%)
I've sent out messages or emails that haven't been returned (soft rejection)
3 (14.3%)
I've sent out messages or emails and have only had positive response
0 (0%)
I am a woman and this poll doesn't apply to me
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 14

Author Topic: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically  (Read 512 times)

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Online 2tallbill

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Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« on: November 03, 2018, 11:34:36 AM »
I think the poll is fairly self explanatory.

Some people are rejected more than others. Some take it harder than others
and for most it's different in person vs by electronic means. You tend to take
a girl telling you no to your face far more personally than you do a girl not
responding to your expression of interest or a short message saying hey
you're cute.

What was your response? Did you do? Did you simply move on or did you
immediately send a biting response back to them?

Online Lord of the Dance

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2018, 11:38:10 PM »
Well after carefully reading all the poll options, I answered with the most accurate response presented (being that in person I've been rejected occasionally), but an option to accurately describe my position wasn't available in the poll so I will briefly explain below.

I've been rejected by every woman I've asked out, but this only constitutes maybe 3 or 4 rejections (I'm careful about who I actually ask out on a date and there aren't too many girls available where I live in the first place).

My mother has maintained that I come across as 'too friendly' and 'too accommodating' and has suggested I should pursue a more aggressive approach. I'm puzzled by the lack of basis for these assertions (my mother has never witnessed any of my rejections, how would she know that I'm not actually being TOO aggressive or some such thing?). Besides, altering personality in order to meet someone seems like a bad idea. I want women to know that I'm a friendly guy. If they would choose to date me, they would have the opportunity to judge my true character for themselves.

On the other hand, I haven't really done any dating online yet so no opportunities for rejection there. I have taken a look at the local online scene in my area but no one appealed (I'm not interested in anyone with children and so this pretty much wipes out anyone online in my hometown / surrounding cities).

Interesting topic for discussion 2tallbill. I enjoy reading and participating in threads like this (non-political). ~ Doug   
"We'll start over again. Grow ourselves new skin. Get a house in Devon. Drink cider from a lemon." ~ Feeder

Online andrewfi

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2018, 02:26:35 AM »
LotD, how old are you?
Unless you are about 14, having asked out only 4 women on dates seems weirdly low. Rejection is part of the process, but very often, unless asking out random women on the street, when a single woman, who you already know to some degree, says no, but she is not saying 'bog off you loser, never cross my path again' but rather it is a 'not at the moment, maybe another time'. Often guys treat the latter like the former.

How many friends do you have who are women? Do you have more male friend than female?
"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus


Online rosco

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2018, 03:11:46 AM »
I got rejected loads of times back in my 20’s but that’s because I asked loads of women for dates. It was part of the plan being a single lad and out with my mates. It might have been at a party, a pub or some kind of gathering it didn’t really matter.

Once I understood that rejection isn’t something to be upset by, I’d ask out the best looking girl in the room at a moment where it seemed least awkward. I had a tactic whereby you had to split them from the herd and spark up an interesting conversation, otherwise the likelihood of getting a date when asking them in front of their friends dramatically reduced.

The upside was that I had lots of success too. It’s hard to be accurate but for every 5 rejections or so, you then found a pretty girl who was up for going out. I also had some girls come back to chat to me having just rejected me because I was so calm and unoffended by it all. To be fair though, most people don’t date strangers so there’s an art to speed dating and making people comfortable. Other times, you’re just not their cup of tea.

I think I learned this at school though. In Scotland we get tought Scottish country dancing from an early age and the boys were always asked to take their partners before each dance. Boys sat on one side of the hall and girls at the other. Most guys tried to play it cool (we were kids) but I quickly learned that if you didn’t move it, the good looking girls were always taken first. You had to be confident to stand up in front of hundreds and make the first move but the upside here was that you were never rejected.

If you don’t ask you never find out and in many cases women find being confident attractive. I bet we’ve all been in a situation at some point in our life where we’ve seen a stunning girl on the other side of the room, seemingly open to being engaged but bottled it? I have.

And anyone who says they’ve never been rejected, clearly hasn’t asked out a good looking woman.....ever!

Online andrewfi

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2018, 04:34:25 AM »
I confess, it is very rare that anyone has ever turned me down - but I have a history of not asking enough. ;)

I honestly believe that most women will give most men a chance, within reason. In part 'within reason' means not asking out strangers. One might include avoiding asking out women who a a generation or more younger than oneself.
"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

Online rosco

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2018, 06:18:42 AM »
I confess, it is very rare that anyone has ever turned me down - but I have a history of not asking enough. ;)

I honestly believe that most women will give most men a chance, within reason. In part 'within reason' means not asking out strangers. One might include avoiding asking out women who a a generation or more younger than oneself.

I totally agree.

There’s also a big difference in being a young lad, asking out young ladies at student venues and the like. Young people generally put themselves out there and hump like rabbits.

It would be odd for a middle aged man to start working the room at say a drinks reception. And by odd I mean totally bizarre.

I think in the right situation a single woman open to offers, will give any guy a chance to showcase what he has to offer. That said, an idiot will blow his cover quite quickly and said woman will make her decision.

Online andrewfi

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #6 on: November 04, 2018, 07:44:45 AM »
I think we often forget that we men put on the display and women make the choice. Once one is decently sensitive to the signals from women then all a guy has to do is not balls it up.

Right now, I am away from home. I am also happy enough to not be trying to shag everything that moves. I also know that has I been interested in something more than just flirting that I was receiving signals upon which I could've acted.

At the end of the day, men and women are not so very different, we want similar things: companionship, fun, sex, shared activities, that makes things not too difficult.
"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

Online BillyB

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2018, 11:10:01 AM »

It's possible a guy ends up marrying the first girl he asks out and never experienced rejection.

Some guys got reject 3 times in their life after asking out only 6 women. Some men get rejected a 100 times after asking out 200 women. Who's the better man? Who has more good experiences with women? I'd rather have more good experiences and rejection than few good experiences and less rejection. Don't let the fear of rejection hold you back from succeeding.

Online Lord of the Dance

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #8 on: November 04, 2018, 11:43:37 AM »
LotD, how old are you?
Unless you are about 14, having asked out only 4 women on dates seems weirdly low. Rejection is part of the process, but very often, unless asking out random women on the street, when a single woman, who you already know to some degree, says no, but she is not saying 'bog off you loser, never cross my path again' but rather it is a 'not at the moment, maybe another time'. Often guys treat the latter like the former.

How many friends do you have who are women? Do you have more male friend than female?

I'm currently 24 and I'll turn 25 in about a month. I would say that I have a fairly diverse group of friends, both male and female, but many of my friends are considerably older than I am myself (church congregation members, pilots, club friends, etc.).

I think you're probably right in pointing out that many men take a simple 'no thanks' way harder than they should. Gauging from the caliber of the men these girls who rejected me are with now, I probably would've had more luck had I been broke, dumb and vulgar. Then again, who am I to judge what a girl wants in her man? That's her choice, not mine.
"We'll start over again. Grow ourselves new skin. Get a house in Devon. Drink cider from a lemon." ~ Feeder

Online 2tallbill

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #9 on: November 04, 2018, 11:59:01 AM »
LotD, how old are you?
Unless you are about 14, having asked out only 4 women on dates seems weirdly low.

I have a son who is 28. He lived his entire life since he had hair on his sack
with the internet. They don't get rejected in person, they run scenarios by
each other via text message and social media.

I've lived all over but I spent my senior year of high school in a small farming
and ranching community in Oregon. We had 16 students in my high school class
and 48 in the entire school, we lived almost hundred miles from a doctor.

I know a guy who dated a girl from when he was in the 6th grade and they are
still married today.


Online Confederate

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #10 on: November 04, 2018, 12:01:56 PM »
LotD, how old are you?
Unless you are about 14, having asked out only 4 women on dates seems weirdly low. Rejection is part of the process, but very often, unless asking out random women on the street, when a single woman, who you already know to some degree, says no, but she is not saying 'bog off you loser, never cross my path again' but rather it is a 'not at the moment, maybe another time'. Often guys treat the latter like the former.

How many friends do you have who are women? Do you have more male friend than female?

I'm currently 24 and I'll turn 25 in about a month. I would say that I have a fairly diverse group of friends, both male and female, but many of my friends are considerably older than I am myself (church congregation members, pilots, club friends, etc.).

I think you're probably right in pointing out that many men take a simple 'no thanks' way harder than they should. Gauging from the caliber of the men these girls who rejected me are with now, I probably would've had more luck had I been broke, dumb and vulgar. Then again, who am I to judge what a girl wants in her man? That's her choice, not mine.

Women usually go for the "bad" guys, it's their psychology. Or at least it is with quite a few of them.

Go for the bad guys, reject the good guys, but complain about all men as being bad. Nothing changes.  :laugh:

What's important is to understand it's a numbers game. Try to never put any emotional attachment onto any woman prior to asking them out or going out with them.  Only after can you do that. Pay attention to what Rosco says above about not getting upset if a woman says no.  Be calm, carry on.  They like guys who are confident and who don't get rattled. 

Online Confederate

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #11 on: November 04, 2018, 12:05:39 PM »
I confess, it is very rare that anyone has ever turned me down - but I have a history of not asking enough. ;)

I honestly believe that most women will give most men a chance, within reason. In part 'within reason' means not asking out strangers. One might include avoiding asking out women who a a generation or more younger than oneself.

I totally agree.

There’s also a big difference in being a young lad, asking out young ladies at student venues and the like. Young people generally put themselves out there and hump like rabbits.

It would be odd for a middle aged man to start working the room at say a drinks reception. And by odd I mean totally bizarre.



WTF are you talking about?  Are all middle aged men supposed to be Priests?  :chuckle:

Online Confederate

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #12 on: November 04, 2018, 12:07:26 PM »
LotD, how old are you?
Unless you are about 14, having asked out only 4 women on dates seems weirdly low.

I have a son who is 28. He lived his entire life since he had hair on his sack
with the internet. They don't get rejected in person, they run scenarios by
each other via text message and social media.

I've lived all over but I spent my senior year of high school in a small farming
and ranching community in Oregon. We had 16 students in my high school class
and 48 in the entire school, we lived almost hundred miles from a doctor
.

I know a guy who dated a girl from when he was in the 6th grade and they are
still married today.

Sweet Home?

Online andrewfi

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Re: Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #13 on: November 04, 2018, 12:09:52 PM »
If most of your friends, at your age, are not people with whom you can have a romantic relationship then you probably want to enlarge your circle.

I was probably pretty normal, at your age I had scads of friends who were young women of my age cohort and an equal number of male friends, all a part of the same circle. Far from all the women I had relationships came from that group, but, on the whole they came from that group  or people who that group knew. That's kinda normal.

I was lucky to work in a large shop selling stuff that quite a lot of women like to buy. Female customers were a welcome addition to the people I already knew and selling stuff to people means that there's already a relationship based upon trust. Perhaps you have something similar that you can build on?

Unless you have a thing for older women, there's something that you can do to make your life better!

But, people saying 'no' to us is normal. Getting used to it is a good thing in all parts of our lives; otherwise you'll end up in an unhappy relationship with the first person who does not say 'no' to you.

At your age your cohort will likely include your peers at university, work colleagues, some school friends. If you have lost touch a bit then it might be time to learn how Facebook works!

"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

Online 2tallbill

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Have you ever been rejected by a woman? Romantically
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2018, 12:29:23 PM »
I've been rejected too many times to count both online and in person.
I would rather have asked and got shot down than stayed quiet and lost
the opportunity. There were times when I was young that I was too shy
or too self conscious to do the asking, I eventually decided that I

It's always been my opinion is that somebody has to shag the prom queen
it might as well be me. Sometimes the prom queen in question didn't find
my handsome and charming self as irresistible as I thought she would.

When I my first marriage ended I dated all sorts of women and finally got
the Russian bug. Some of my successes and failures are posted here in
various trip reports.

I wrote countless letters thousands and thousands. I was ignored, a few
girls knew who I was from the famous Antidate fiasco and shot me down. 
I was shot down for a thousand things.

When things went South I always looked at what I did right and what I did
wrong and tried to improve my process in everything from prospecting to
selection. I only needed to find one girl but she was going to be THE ONE.