The World's #1 Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion & Information Forum - RUA!

This Is the Premier Discussion Forum on the Net for Information and Discussion about Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union. Discuss Culture, Politics, Travelling, Language, International Relationships and More. Chat with Travellers, Locals, Residents and Expats. Ask and Answer Questions about Travel, Culture, Relationships, Applying for Visas, Translators, Interpreters, and More. Give Advice, Read Trip Reports, Share Experiences and Make Friends.

Author Topic: Two good people make good things happen.  (Read 1619 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online rosco

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2965
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Two good people make good things happen.
« on: September 15, 2018, 03:42:22 AM »
Sometimes I write like I think I'm so smart. I'm not very smart. Or wise.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

 And I know that no one can do this for me.

It's important you know all possible scenarios. The good, the bad, and the ugly. If she's a good woman, you don't have to worry about the ugly happening. If you chose a woman you're not compatible with, you will experience the bad in the form of a divorce. If you chose a good woman, you're a good man, and you're both compatible, you will experience good things. Two good people make good things happen. You know her and yourself better than we do.

What a load of rubbish. You do know two good people can still divorce right?

I was with a guy on business this week and he told me he just separated from his wife. After 2 boys and 23 years of marriage they just one day decided nothing was there anymore. They called a meeting with the lawyers, told them to take notes and listen whilst they agreed a split. The lawyers weren’t too happy but they had to roll with it.

Slightly off topic but Billy’s better sticking to US war talk and global domination as opposed to dishing out poor advice. Like a dog walking back to its vomit, he’ll return to tell me I’m wrong.

Offline Steveboy

  • Commercial Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3193
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: In The Business
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2018, 03:53:06 AM »
When I met my wife for the first time there was nothing to worry about or even think about, I had been speaking to her in Skype non stop for 6 months.. so already knew her very well and when we met we both clicked "Just like that"
She has the same mentality as me "Stupid"  :ROFL:

But I don't mind being stupid.. tiphat
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Online BillyB

  • Member
  • Posts: 299
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2018, 04:50:19 PM »
You do know two good people can still divorce right?


No, two good people make good things happen.

I was with a guy on business this week and he told me he just separated from his wife. After 2 boys and 23 years of marriage they just one day decided nothing was there anymore.


For 23 years one or both those people let their marriage deteriorate without taking action. The problem developed over time. Good people will recognize a problem and fix it right away, not let it grow. Falling out of love with each other doesn't happen overnight. One or both of those people watched their marriage deteriorate and didn't really care.

Couples have differences. One person may like sex more than the other. That's the way it's with most couples. There must be a compromise. They both should recognize each others needs and take care of those needs. If you don't take care of your spouse's needs, you're not a good person.

There could be different political views. If a conversation about politics gets a couple to hate each other, the solution is to stop talking politics.

Justadude knows his fiancée eats meat and she knows he doesn't eat meat and yet knowing this, they agreed to marry each other. Justadude may think he's a good guy like the guy you just talked about but if he denies his wife something she likes, he's not a good guy.

Like a dog walking back to its vomit, you'll return to tell me I’m wrong.





Online rosco

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2965
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2018, 06:49:02 AM »
Billy, it’s my opinion that you’re beyond help and any education provided for free won’t help you see the world differently because you’re ignorant.

Facebook is classic for this. Several thousand people see and comment on a post with many holding similar views. Then a Billy pops up with a polar opposite view. Hundreds of posters try to explain to Billy why he’s wrong but Billy refuses to listen or even attempt to understand.

Billy’s and their ignorance used to drive me mad, I could never work out how they could be so simple. Now I just accept that laggards are sadly part of society.

Online BillyB

  • Member
  • Posts: 299
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2018, 12:01:13 PM »
Billy, it’s my opinion that you’re beyond help and any education provided for free won’t help you see the world differently because you’re ignorant.

Billy’s and their ignorance used to drive me mad,


It's clear you still get mad when somebody else has a different opinion and everybody who has a different opinion are ignorant and beyond help. That means you feel you are surrounded by idiots. It's hard to function in a world when you think that way. Anger management classes are available. The first step to a cure is admitting you have a problem.

Online rosco

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2965
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2018, 01:07:31 PM »
Billy, it’s my opinion that you’re beyond help and any education provided for free won’t help you see the world differently because you’re ignorant.

Billy’s and their ignorance used to drive me mad,


It's clear you still get mad when somebody else has a different opinion and everybody who has a different opinion are ignorant and beyond help. That means you feel you are surrounded by idiots. It's hard to function in a world when you think that way. Anger management classes are available. The first step to a cure is admitting you have a problem.

Clear to an ignorant little man maybe.

I offer no anger towards you Billy, or the other Billy’s bumbling through life, blissfully ignorant to their surroundings. Sadness possibly.

I respect differing opinions provided it’s backed up with rational, coherent foundation. You on the other hand, tend to base your pillars of wisdom on ignorance.

Let’s focus on recent events. You tell us definitively that two good people can’t simply grow apart and separate in a fair and respectful manner. You tell us they neglected their marriage and they’re guilty of poor relationship management. In some instances your guess may be correct but not in every single one.

It’s clear that you refuse to accept fact or reality and you refuse to see alternatives. You are ignorant but at least consistent with every view you have on life.

Online BillyB

  • Member
  • Posts: 299
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2018, 02:49:53 PM »
Clear to an ignorant little man maybe.


When you don't like something you hear, you attack the messenger instead of the message. You attack the poster instead of the post.

If you have something valuable to say, don't be insecure attacking a poster. Post your message next to theirs and people can compare. Be confident your message will have more value than those you debate.

Let’s focus on recent events. You tell us definitively that two good people can’t simply grow apart and separate in a fair and respectful manner. You tell us they neglected their marriage and they’re guilty of poor relationship management. In some instances your guess may be correct but not in every single one.


I got employees coming in late occasionally. They have excuses. I once had an employee that often called in sick after getting their paycheck. I know they're on drugs. Some employees are lazy. Others have a drinking problem affecting work or gambling problem and always need a draw. They probably think they are good employees and worth every penny.

I don't wait 23 years before divorcing/firing them. Problems get solved right away or the business will suffer. Good employees make good things happen. If they're not good and don't make changes, bad things will happen and we won't be working with each other anymore.

Same with marriage. Problems arise and two good people will recognize the problem and solve it. One or both people ignoring the problem increases the chances of the two people growing apart. One or both people will have failed in their marriage. One or both people aren't marriage material.

I understand people change over the years which is a given but it's up to them to make sure they don't drift apart from their spouse or it will end in divorce. Failure to recognize a problem or failure to act after a problem is recognized are not the behaviors of a good person.


Online rosco

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2965
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2018, 03:25:42 AM »
Billy, let's just stick to the marriage issue here for a moment. I'll use my example seeing its the one I brought up which started this discussion. She's an estate agent, he owns 2 successful business' and they both come from upper middle class backgrounds and good schooling. They have 2 teenage boys and a nice life.

They have no divisive martial problems, no lovers and no financial concern. Perhaps the best way of describing it, is that their mutual love for one another has changed, the sparks not there any longer. It's a case of two intelligent people recognising their situation and making a life changing decision which may be in their best interests for the next part of their lives. Personally I think its quite a refreshingly adult thing to do in a hugely difficult situation.

You cant work at that Billy and I hope this isn't bad news for you. They still have respect and strong bonds for one another......but not love. You cant stop time and with time comes change. Sadly, relationships can suffer as a consequence but divorce doesn't always come about as a result of abuse.

In this instance, 'working at it' wouldn't have changed a thing. I spoke with the bloke at length last week and the best thing about it, is that its a mutual decision and they'll remain in each others lives. At the lawyers it was explained that the most important thing was for a fair settlement so they could stand on the touchline together and watch their boys play rugby.

Now reading what you wrote, it all sounds rather naive and simplistic to say that people just need to avoid drifting apart. How can you recognise a problem if there isn't one?

This makes me begin to wonder if the people who 'work' for you really are taking drugs or is it just Billy and his overly simplistic, judgmental view on life? Same with the ones with the apparent drinking and gambling problems. Now maybe they do but I don't really have you down as the best judge of character on this very forum never mind your own continent.

You've already confessed your attitudes towards women on RUA, and it troubled me.

Online BillyB

  • Member
  • Posts: 299
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2018, 06:43:09 AM »
How can you recognise a problem if there isn't one?


Falling out of love within a marriage is a problem. Leads to divorce almost every time. It doesn't happen for no reason. You say the couple is intelligent and have good jobs but it doesn't make either of them marriage material. How about their physical appearance? If one lets their body go, it may not light the fire anymore for the other spouse. Maybe they began to love their work more than each other? Maybe they began to lust for another person? You weren't there during their 23 years of marriage but you talk as if you're an expert witness. You can convince me one of the two was a good spouse who tried to solve why the love within the marriage was diminishing over time but as a unit, they couldn't keep it together and make good things happen.

Offline Steveboy

  • Commercial Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3193
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: In The Business
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2018, 06:53:41 AM »
How can you recognise a problem if there isn't one?


Falling out of love within a marriage is a problem. Leads to divorce almost every time. It doesn't happen for no reason. You say the couple is intelligent and have good jobs but it doesn't make either of them marriage material. How about their physical appearance? If one lets their body go, it may not light the fire anymore for the other spouse. Maybe they began to love their work more than each other? Maybe they began to lust for another person? You weren't there during their 23 years of marriage but you talk as if you're an expert witness. You can convince me one of the two was a good spouse who tried to solve why the love within the marriage was diminishing over time but as a unit, they couldn't keep it together and make good things happen.

Contention is usually a big problem.. people get content and life becomes boring.. its easy to fix physical appearance .. boob job, botox .. hair transplant plastic surgery..

Not so easy to fix the thing between your legs if you get problems down there..and humans are only animals  and need sex just like the bunny rabbits in the fields..


I would suggest one of these in the house..its sure to keep some spark going even after 30 years..  :laugh:

I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Online rosco

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2965
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2018, 08:39:01 AM »
How can you recognise a problem if there isn't one?


Falling out of love within a marriage is a problem. Leads to divorce almost every time. It doesn't happen for no reason. You say the couple is intelligent and have good jobs but it doesn't make either of them marriage material. How about their physical appearance? If one lets their body go, it may not light the fire anymore for the other spouse. Maybe they began to love their work more than each other? Maybe they began to lust for another person? You weren't there during their 23 years of marriage but you talk as if you're an expert witness. You can convince me one of the two was a good spouse who tried to solve why the love within the marriage was diminishing over time but as a unit, they couldn't keep it together and make good things happen.

Before our convo derails this thread altogether, I'll say my last piece.

You appear to be someone who likes to apportion blame, because someone needs to be blamed in Billy's world. I agree that many of the things you pointed out are in fact true in a number of broken marriages, but not all! Which is exactly my point here about marriage and to a lesser extent you.

In this case, both are presentable where neither have let themselves go so physical appearance isn't the problem. They seem to have fairly active and inclusive social lives so its not about ignoring each other or working too many hours. There is no other person or persons in this picture so lust is out. And you're right I wasn't there for the duration of their marriage but I've been very close to them for over 9 years.

See this is what I'm taking about with ignorance Billy. You cant accept that they are good people who had an otherwise excellent marriage for 2 - 3 decades and have built a nice little empire and even today - they don't hate each others guts. It's just not the same anymore and they're both different people in their 50's compared to when they were in their 20's. Sorry but there is no trigger or inflection point here which led to the divorce.

Conversely, they could have stayed together until death do us part. Neither of them would have complained due to the generally happiness, and there's lots of couples in this basket. Are these couples going through the motions or are they too scared to change their one shot at life because society generally views it as failure.....like you do now. I'm quite sad that they've decided to end their marriage but equally I think its a brave decision for both of them. Many would bury their head and think ah well, I signed up to this 3 decades ago so here I am.

Love comes in all shapes and forms and it seems like you sadly think love is one thing. They do love each other, just differently and they feel they can have much fuller lives separated but connected as friends and parents. It no doubt requires both parties to be at the same place in their lives for no one to be hurt but its a grown up decision none the less. I know you cant get your head round it but sometimes people do just grow apart, they become different people or want different things. What you had in common 20/30 years ago may be different today and that by the way includes good friends too.

Anyway, they were my case study in this example and I highly doubt that you'll be getting back to me saying, oh yea Rosco I see where you're coming from now. Billy's world will still be defined by Billy's rules. You have a lack of knowledge here and you'll deliberately ignore these facts and the information, hence why I think you're ignorant.

Online rosco

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2965
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2018, 08:39:51 AM »
How can you recognise a problem if there isn't one?


Falling out of love within a marriage is a problem. Leads to divorce almost every time. It doesn't happen for no reason. You say the couple is intelligent and have good jobs but it doesn't make either of them marriage material. How about their physical appearance? If one lets their body go, it may not light the fire anymore for the other spouse. Maybe they began to love their work more than each other? Maybe they began to lust for another person? You weren't there during their 23 years of marriage but you talk as if you're an expert witness. You can convince me one of the two was a good spouse who tried to solve why the love within the marriage was diminishing over time but as a unit, they couldn't keep it together and make good things happen.

Contention is usually a big problem.. people get content and life becomes boring.. its easy to fix physical appearance .. boob job, botox .. hair transplant plastic surgery..

Not so easy to fix the thing between your legs if you get problems down there..and humans are only animals  and need sex just like the bunny rabbits in the fields..


I would suggest one of these in the house..its sure to keep some spark going even after 30 years..  :laugh:



Is that a photo from your basement Steve?  :o

Offline Steveboy

  • Commercial Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3193
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: In The Business
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2018, 10:47:18 AM »
How can you recognise a problem if there isn't one?


Falling out of love within a marriage is a problem. Leads to divorce almost every time. It doesn't happen for no reason. You say the couple is intelligent and have good jobs but it doesn't make either of them marriage material. How about their physical appearance? If one lets their body go, it may not light the fire anymore for the other spouse. Maybe they began to love their work more than each other? Maybe they began to lust for another person? You weren't there during their 23 years of marriage but you talk as if you're an expert witness. You can convince me one of the two was a good spouse who tried to solve why the love within the marriage was diminishing over time but as a unit, they couldn't keep it together and make good things happen.

Contention is usually a big problem.. people get content and life becomes boring.. its easy to fix physical appearance .. boob job, botox .. hair transplant plastic surgery..

Not so easy to fix the thing between your legs if you get problems down there..and humans are only animals  and need sex just like the bunny rabbits in the fields..


I would suggest one of these in the house..its sure to keep some spark going even after 30 years..  :laugh:



Is that a photo from your basement Steve?  :o

No not at the moment.. its in the Attic... :laugh:

We are slowly building it up.. last time I was in London I popped into Ann Summers on Oxford Street , they have a place just like this and it was packed out.. I thought about buying a gimp suit! But the wife would probably say I'm going a little far with that.. :laugh:

I wasn't exactly sure what the objects to the right are, with the fur hanging? Some kind of duster I think to get rid of the cob webs..????? :ROFL:
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 15324
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #13 on: September 17, 2018, 10:48:23 AM »
You do know two good people can still divorce right?


No, two good people make good things happen.

I put it to you Billy that sometimes, if people drift apart as Rosco described, it will be a good thing that a couple amicably divorce. The two people would remain good people; good people doing the best thing for their relationship, their offspring and each other. 

I speak as a chap whose ex-missus still works for me, alongside my wife. My wife and my ex get along OK and enjoy a friction-free working relationship. My ex has our daughter if we want an evening out, etc. My wife gets along very well with my teenage son from the previous relationship. It's all a painless example of good people doing good things.  :coffeeread:
I apologise.
And so he should.........

Offline Steveboy

  • Commercial Member
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3193
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: In The Business
  • Trips: Resident
Re: Two good people make good things happen.
« Reply #14 on: September 17, 2018, 12:51:32 PM »
I speak as a chap whose ex-missus still works for me, alongside my wife. My wife and my ex get along OK and enjoy a friction-free working relationship. My ex has our daughter if we want an evening out, etc. My wife gets along very well with my teenage son from the previous relationship. It's all a painless example of good people doing good things.

I have a friend who has same situation.. there is no way on this planet it would work for me.. I could not see myself sat next to my ex wife and vice versa for the wife..

What about all the sordid secrets and stuff? I think it takes a very different person to work out that situation.. If I was living in the UK my ex wife simply wouldn't even make it as far as the garden path..
Some friends are happy to have the ex wife in for coffee when they take the kids on a Sunday some  not..

No way on this planet if I lived for 1 million years would my ex wife ever set foot in my place..

I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!