Turkey

[Omega1982]

Has anyone dated a Turkish woman? 

Some of the ones I saw on the airplane and Istanbul airport did not look bad. 

Leslied, maybe you can shed some light on this. 

[msmoby]

A clue might be, why do so many TR men look for a FSU partner ?

Seriously, I have s few TR friends and their wives are family orientated...

I've dated a Persian lass nearly 40 years ago  and a Lebanese lass and they were NOT wearing head scarves or  demure outfits

[leslied]

Hello Omega,

I have lived in Turkey for over 10 years now so I do have local insight.

Online dating in Turkey is not popular and still seen as taboo in many sectors of society. As a result, don’t expect to have the same results in this country that you would in Ukraine or Russia, where online dating sites have been around for more than a generation, and social attitudes are much more relaxed.

There are Turkish dating sites but be prepared to pay (e.g. platinum membership) if you want to avoid the scammers.  I reckon the Turkish free sites are stacked with fake profiles designed to lure in dreamers and relieve them of their money.  Turkey is a big country I would restrict my search to Istanbul and Izmir where western orientation is more common.  OK, you might find your future wife in Trabzon - even blind squirrels find the occasional nut...

You know I am a "visit many" advocate but I do not recommend this approach in Turkey.  Dating goes more slowly here.  Turkish guys are persistent and the girls expect to be chased. Once a relationship is established do not even think about straying.  Turkish people are JEALOUS.  The "green eyed monster" is common here.

You don't have the the economic advantage that you do in say, Ukraine.  Typically the type of woman in your dating pool  will come from a middle class family and be well educated.  It is common for richer families to send their children to college in the USA.

On religion - you are looking for people who are nominally Muslim but only to the same extent as British people identify as Christian.  You will  not find religious women on on-line dating sites - except maybe on Muslim only sites.  You have practically zero chance of success with religious Muslim women.  Beware her father and brothers.  Every year western tourists get beaten up for trying to pull Turkish women in the nightclubs...

A carefully researched visit one approach is your best bet.  Build a connection on-line before you visit.  Be prepared to take it slowly. It could take multiple trips and her families acceptance before the relationship becomes serious. You also need to be realistic in assessing your position in the dating pool. You are unlikely to date much beyond your range in the US.  Fat and Forty does not date nubile younger women unless he is seriously rich!  Young Turkish guys look after themselves and have to if they aspire to date a good looking Turkish woman.  Turks are just as ostentatious on wealth as Russians.  Her family may own more than one Mercedes!

Nearly all the Western guy, Turkish women couples I know live in Turkey and speak Turkish.  I am not saying finding a Turkish girlfriend is impossible on a "foreign dating model" but it will be difficult.  Much easier if you live here and learn Turkish. 

If I was in your situation I would try Moldova...



 

[Lord of the Dance]

Stephanie, a second cousin of mine, met, dated and married a Turkish gent while they were both attending university in New York City. Of course I couldn't say this publicly here in the States (for fear of being accosted as a 'racist') but the guy is very strange. Of the few times he has been around me, all attempts to hold conversation have failed. He has displayed no interest in embracing our culture or tradition of politeness. I hate to speculate, but I'm afraid my cousin Stephanie isn't too happy in her marriage.     

[AvHdB]

Omega,

In the ex-pat circle I know two Turkish women. They are well educated and in fact one has a good sense of humour. But both now in there mid 30's are rather frumpy. Before from a Turkish guy who was an officer in the NATO Air Force, he referred to women from Turkey as SSL, I finally learned what that stood for; Short Shelf Life. In the what it is worth department his wife is a 'Christian' Tartar from the Krim.

Certainly you have the recipe of a rich Travel Report if you wish to prosecute this Turkish angle.

[andrewfi]

What is your purpose here?
350,000,000 people in the United States, 140,000,000 in Russia, 45,000,000 Ukrainians and none of them willing to talk to you?

If you want to    women then it is easy, anywhere.
If you want to find a life partner then focus, don't piss about! Find a nice woman who isn't repulsed by you, settle down with her and work on building a relationship. Spending your life chasing something that does not exist is just a waste of life.

Here's a secret: if you got to ask questions like these then you ain't the bloke to be playing find the lady from a deck of cards ten miles high!

[Steveboy]

No way!! I like my sweet and sour pork to much! And would you really want to give up Roast pork and potatoes? And of course remember he brother may pop round yours for New years celebrations and go off as a real big bang , especially if he has one of those funny waist coats...

[Contrarian]

No way!! I like my sweet and sour pork to much! And would you really want to give up Roast pork and potatoes? And of course remember he brother may pop round yours for New years celebrations and go off as a real big bang , especially if he has one of those funny waist coats...

 

[leslied]

. Of the few times he has been around me, all attempts to hold conversation have failed. He has displayed no interest in embracing our culture or tradition of politeness.

Turks regard their culture in every way superior to Western culture.  In general they do not assimilate (adopt the values and behavior of the culture they are living in) There are millions of Turks living in Germany but assimilation is very low. They still live in their own areas and mix mainly with their own people.

In many ways Turkey can be described as "Middle Eastern Light"  The same viewpoints are more strongly held in more traditional countries.  There is NO democratic tradition in the the countries of the former Caliphate.  Ataturk tried to introduce democracy in Turkey but it has never functioned properly.  People in the Middle East prefer strong, authoritarian governments because historically they have been ruled this way.

To me the idea of introducing democracy in these countries is a non starter.  The "Arab Spring" movement peddled by Obama and Clinton was doomed to fail from the outset.  Revolution will not bring democracy.  One strong arm dictator will be replaced by another and the new leader may be even more hostile to the west than the guy he replaced...

Young foreign lives (Russian and Western) have been wasted for a couple of generations in Afghanistan to no avail ! The only kind of government that will work there is likely to be lead by a strong arm religious zealot...

 

[leslied]

he referred to women from Turkey as SSL, I finally learned what that stood for; Short Shelf Life.

Your friend is quite right.  Married women are expected to dress demurely - not to attract the attention of men. Once Turkish woman marry and have a first child they tend to stop looking after themselves.  In most sectors of Turkish society married women do not go out to work (professionals excepted).  They become house wives and the most common form of socializing is "Tea Parties" which are accompanied by copious cakes and biscuits. Of course they become fat and look old before their time...

I am not saying all women go this way.  There are older Turkish women who attend my wife's yoga and gym classes.  These ladies still look great in their fifties!  However they are a minority and tend to come from business and professional families.

[AvHdB]

. Of the few times he has been around me, all attempts to hold conversation have failed. He has displayed no interest in embracing our culture or tradition of politeness.

Turks regard their culture in every way superior to Western culture.  In general they do not assimilate (adopt the values and behavior of the culture they are living in) There are millions of Turks living in Germany but assimilation is very low. They still live in their own areas and mix mainly with their own people.

In many ways Turkey can be described as "Middle Eastern Light"  The same viewpoints are more strongly held in more traditional countries.  There is NO democratic tradition in the the countries of the former Caliphate.  Ataturk tried to introduce democracy in Turkey but it has never functioned properly.  People in the Middle East prefer strong, authoritarian governments because historically they have been ruled this way.

To me the idea of introducing democracy in these countries is a non starter.  The "Arab Spring" movement peddled by Obama and Clinton was doomed to fail from the outset.  Revolution will not bring democracy.  One strong arm dictator will be replaced by another and the new leader may be even more hostile to the west than the guy he replaced...

Young foreign lives (Russian and Western) have been wasted for a couple of generations in Afghanistan to no avail ! The only kind of government that will work there is likely to be lead by a strong arm religious zealot...

This is a refreshing post that is spot on. While there are exceptions in the Turkish community, in The Netherlands most Turks live in rather closed circles. What is almost amusing is the degree that Turks hate Moroccans and both hate 'Arabs' k a f f e r s from Somalia.

What may upset some who want to apologise for the range of disdain to outright hatred that Arabs and Muslims show for the West and Christianity one needs to look at the writings and postings of Ayaan Hirsi-Ali.

[msmoby]

I mourn the passing of secular Turkey - Erdogan is a BIG disappointment to me - he has set Turkey back decades

The Turkish part of Cyprus might have wanted to reunify with the 'Greek' south - but this will never happen, now.  The south side were STUPID in 2003 - when they had their chance and the Turkish Cypriots were willing to give it a go.

Turkish Cypriots are mainly Muslim Light and loads of Brits who moved to the north are leaving (( 

I don't blame the likes of the US ....   The people chose to rise - they aren't puppets - many have given their lives in the quest for democracy - which unlike others - I do believe can work ... 'strong' leadership often = corrupt and intolerant .

[Lord of the Dance]

. Of the few times he has been around me, all attempts to hold conversation have failed. He has displayed no interest in embracing our culture or tradition of politeness.

Turks regard their culture in every way superior to Western culture.  In general they do not assimilate (adopt the values and behavior of the culture they are living in) There are millions of Turks living in Germany but assimilation is very low. They still live in their own areas and mix mainly with their own people.

In many ways Turkey can be described as "Middle Eastern Light"  The same viewpoints are more strongly held in more traditional countries.  There is NO democratic tradition in the the countries of the former Caliphate.  Ataturk tried to introduce democracy in Turkey but it has never functioned properly.  People in the Middle East prefer strong, authoritarian governments because historically they have been ruled this way.

To me the idea of introducing democracy in these countries is a non starter.  The "Arab Spring" movement peddled by Obama and Clinton was doomed to fail from the outset.  Revolution will not bring democracy.  One strong arm dictator will be replaced by another and the new leader may be even more hostile to the west than the guy he replaced...

Young foreign lives (Russian and Western) have been wasted for a couple of generations in Afghanistan to no avail ! The only kind of government that will work there is likely to be lead by a strong arm religious zealot...

I appreciate the insight leslied, certainly more than I could glean from outsider observations alone, though it is rather apparent even just from the news that we're really talking about two different planets here.

I think even those people who won't admit it out loud do realize that the Arab world won't be willing to accept western culture / democracy anytime soon (or ever). I mourn the loss of all those who've died trying to shove a round peg into a square hole.

[Markje]

I mourn the passing of secular Turkey - Erdogan is a BIG disappointment to me - he has set Turkey back decades

How could he disappoint you, he did exactly what was promised when he came to power.

His resume and leading party all read "dictator" from day 1.

[rosco]

I mourn the passing of secular Turkey - Erdogan is a BIG disappointment to me - he has set Turkey back decades

How could he disappoint you, he did exactly what was promised when he came to power.

His resume and leading party all read "dictator" from day 1.

I’d also like to read Mobys theory on how democracy can work in the Islamic world? 

[Steveboy]

Has anyone dated a Turkish woman? 

Some of the ones I saw on the airplane and Istanbul airport did not look bad. 

Leslied, maybe you can shed some light on this.

Just re locate to Mother Russia! Every thing is simple then you can check thousands of women out every weekend 

[Jerash]

Has anyone dated a Turkish woman? 

Some of the ones I saw on the airplane and Istanbul airport did not look bad. 

Leslied, maybe you can shed some light on this.

Just re locate to Mother Russia! Every thing is simple then you can check thousands of women out every weekend 

Simple? Maybe you won’t have to deal with Muslim cultural values and, yes, check out women every weekend, but Lord knows I haven’t been finding these women simple! God, they’re a lot!


.

[dcguyusa]

Has anyone dated a Turkish woman? 

Some of the ones I saw on the airplane and Istanbul airport did not look bad. 

Leslied, maybe you can shed some light on this.

Just re locate to Mother Russia! Every thing is simple then you can check thousands of women out every weekend 

Simple? Maybe you won’t have to deal with Muslim cultural values and, yes, check out women every weekend, but Lord knows I haven’t been finding these women simple! God, they’re a lot!


.

Do you mean numbers or referring to being very complicated (unmanageable)?

[dcguyusa]

I mourn the passing of secular Turkey - Erdogan is a BIG disappointment to me - he has set Turkey back decades

How could he disappoint you, he did exactly what was promised when he came to power.

His resume and leading party all read "dictator" from day 1.

I’d also like to read Mobys theory on how democracy can work in the Islamic world? 

Probably where everyone is a prophet.   

I have a Turkish center that opened close to where I live.  The people are buying up land to build Islamic centers.

P.S.  I eat plenty of Turkey sandwiches for lunch.   

[Jerash]

Has anyone dated a Turkish woman? 

Some of the ones I saw on the airplane and Istanbul airport did not look bad. 

Leslied, maybe you can shed some light on this.

Just re locate to Mother Russia! Every thing is simple then you can check thousands of women out every weekend 

Simple? Maybe you won’t have to deal with Muslim cultural values and, yes, check out women every weekend, but Lord knows I haven’t been finding these women simple! God, they’re a lot!


.

Do you mean numbers or referring to being very complicated (unmanageable)?

You caught the pun)  I meant the latter.