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Author Topic: 10 days in Lvov with an angel  (Read 61084 times)

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Online andrewfi

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #300 on: October 12, 2018, 12:39:35 PM »
So, what should be doing? Calling it off and retreating to his fortress of solitude on the basis of better now than later?
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online Guile

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #301 on: October 12, 2018, 02:34:46 PM »
He's already exhibited so much indecision, notice he himself said he should have cut ties waaaayy earlier but didn't have the courage to do so.

If you read his posts, I don't even get the sense he loves her let alone likes her.  He's more concerned with how she'll disrupt his life here, how he doesn't want another mistake like his divorce with the ex-wife. 

I'd say he should call it off now.

Offline rosco

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #302 on: October 13, 2018, 07:24:51 AM »
So, what should be doing? Calling it off and retreating to his fortress of solitude on the basis of better now than later?

I’d expect him to be honest with both himself and his lady. If he’s not going to go through with it, say so now. If he’s unsure but has genuine feelings for her, then make a go of it.

And that means being accommodating, open minded and willing to compromise. And meet her in NY FFS.

My wife flew into London a few times at the beginning and asked me to meet here there - not a problem. After a while she was comfortable with it and declined future offers of such trips. It’s just normal stuff partners do for each other IMO.


Online Guile

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #303 on: October 13, 2018, 02:43:27 PM »
It's been close to a year since he proposed.  If he were to break it off he should have done so way earlier.

Also, the 2nd option people have suggested is for her to visit as a tourist and they can live together a bit.  But he's already started the fiancee visa application.  I don't know if she can get a tourist visa now.

Offline justadude

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #304 on: October 17, 2018, 10:48:19 PM »
I don’t have a defense for my behavior. But I’ll answer a couple questions and give an update. The first UA girl is out of the hospital and doing ok last time I heard from her.  Current girl is 22 years younger than me. She was denied a tourist visa fall 2017. I didn’t pull the plug yet.  I told her I wouldn’t meet her in NY but that I would try to find someone to help her. I found a translator on CL who said she would meet her. She wasn’t happy about it. Not angry, just a little sad.

The tractor is not a joke. In fact, I bought a second one today with a loader. Now I need to sell the other one. Our power company shut off our electricity for a day due to fire danger. So I bought a generator too. I’m keeping her apprised of all of this. I’m trying to give her a lot of the facts. But I’m leaving out the most important one, that I’m an ass as stated before. many of you know it and you’re correct about most of your negative comments about me.
two 90 day fiance visas, one 73 day fiance. Lived in Lvov and Odessa for 2 years. California native now on the Oregon Coast

Offline msmoby

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #305 on: October 18, 2018, 03:21:00 AM »
JD

the peanut gallery will be speechless. 

Hope you find what you want and  be as honest with her  as you have been with us
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Online Guile

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #306 on: October 18, 2018, 03:25:43 AM »
justadude, seriously man. you come off as super selfish. you won't even spend the money to meet her halfway in NY but will spend on 2 tractors and a generator?! what the hell man.  :GRRRR: :GRRRR:

She's flying halfway around the world. Her English probably isn't that great. If this is her first time in the USA she'll be scared undoubtedly.

She's gonna be very resentful of how you are behaving if/when she makes it to your city. Plus all your restrictions on meat ain't gonna go well, that's for sure.

Why she hasn't even left you already I don't know. Maybe you offered some fantasy. Man up dawg and do the right thing!




Online andrewfi

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #307 on: October 18, 2018, 04:15:33 AM »
So, you are putting her in the care of some random dude in a strange place. That is probably worse than her going on her own.

What you are setting up looks, from the outside, like setting her up to be kidnapped for white slavery.

Why on earth are you so inflexible and selfish that you can't take a few hours to meet her, take care and reassure her?

Not signals of being a good life partner.
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Offline SL0413

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #308 on: October 18, 2018, 09:03:02 AM »
"10 days in Lvov with an angel"...

If this works out the title should be changed to "10 days in Lvov with a Saint - an awesome fantastic supercalifragilisticexpialidocious saint"

Angels, on the other hand, can be vengeful.


Offline Contrarian

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #309 on: October 18, 2018, 10:01:19 AM »
I don’t have a defense for my behavior. But I’ll answer a couple questions and give an update. The first UA girl is out of the hospital and doing ok last time I heard from her.  Current girl is 22 years younger than me. She was denied a tourist visa fall 2017. I didn’t pull the plug yet.  I told her I wouldn’t meet her in NY but that I would try to find someone to help her. I found a translator on CL who said she would meet her. She wasn’t happy about it. Not angry, just a little sad.

The tractor is not a joke. In fact, I bought a second one today with a loader. Now I need to sell the other one. Our power company shut off our electricity for a day due to fire danger. So I bought a generator too. I’m keeping her apprised of all of this. I’m trying to give her a lot of the facts. But I’m leaving out the most important one, that I’m an ass as stated before. many of you know it and you’re correct about most of your negative comments about me.

Do you have time to reconsider meeting her in NYC?  Sounds like a very good idea to me, why not start things off more positive?

The translator you found for her is a female, yes? IOW ignore Andrew's hyperbole.

Online andrewfi

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #310 on: October 18, 2018, 11:35:11 AM »
Hyperbole, no. I will bet my customary large amounts of imaginary Internet money that this is just what any of her friends and family who have heard of Justadude's scheme will be saying.

If your kid, adult or not, told you that she was traveling to a strange country and that her port of entry she would be met by a stranger who would 'take care of her' then you'd be rightly concerned. The gender of the person meeting her is irrelevant, except in so far as a sensible person planning malfeasance would use a woman because he'd hope that it might reassure the victim and make the process easier.

While I am sure that Justadude does not intend harm to this woman he is behaving terribly. He is doing nothing that provides reassurance, is being selfish and unthinking. There's no excuse for this stuff.

While I was not among those suggesting he should not continue with this venture, just that he should be more thoughtful, less selfish, at this moment my opinion, for what it is worth, is that he should save his victim a great deal of stress and heartbreak and end things now.

Nothing good is going to come of this selfish folly except in the case that the woman has plans that do not include Justadude.
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Offline Wiz

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #311 on: October 18, 2018, 11:43:00 AM »
"10 days in Lvov with an angel"...

If this works out the title should be changed to "10 days in Lvov with a Saint - an awesome fantastic supercalifragilisticexpialidocious saint"

Angels, on the other hand, can be vengeful.

Not a bloody chance.......this is definitely a .. :trainwreck: and people should think better before encouraging him to destroy the life of this young woman. He already sent another woman in the Hospital because of his selfish and controlling behaviour and we only have to take his own words about himself! 

"My previous FSU fiance, as I have mentioned in the past, was institutionalized due to conditions induced (in my mind) by the stress of the situation. However, another common factor, me, cannot be overlooked as likely playing a role.

I'm just an ass. Maybe I'm unfit for a relationship and that's why I had to go half way around the world to find a girl."


The above words are not mine but his own.

Forgot sake grow up and tell the girl the truth and cancel her trip. You don't need to send a second woman in hospital ! 

Confed...

Be a good chap and stop trying to find excuses. The life of this new girl is at stake and a "mad professor" is going to destroy it, "because he is an Ass." (his words.)

:evilgrin0002:

Andrew:

Totally agree with your comments which you posted while I was typing mine.   :thumbsup:
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Offline Contrarian

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #312 on: October 18, 2018, 05:16:46 PM »
"10 days in Lvov with an angel"...

If this works out the title should be changed to "10 days in Lvov with a Saint - an awesome fantastic supercalifragilisticexpialidocious saint"

Angels, on the other hand, can be vengeful.

Not a bloody chance.......this is definitely a .. :trainwreck: and people should think better before encouraging him to destroy the life of this young woman. He already sent another woman in the Hospital because of his selfish and controlling behaviour and we only have to take his own words about himself! 

"My previous FSU fiance, as I have mentioned in the past, was institutionalized due to conditions induced (in my mind) by the stress of the situation. However, another common factor, me, cannot be overlooked as likely playing a role.

I'm just an ass. Maybe I'm unfit for a relationship and that's why I had to go half way around the world to find a girl."


The above words are not mine but his own.

Forgot sake grow up and tell the girl the truth and cancel her trip. You don't need to send a second woman in hospital ! 

Confed...

Be a good chap and stop trying to find excuses. The life of this new girl is at stake and a "mad professor" is going to destroy it, "because he is an Ass." (his words.)

:evilgrin0002:

Andrew:

Totally agree with your comments which you posted while I was typing mine.   :thumbsup:

If you read my post again you’ll see that I’m trying to encourage him to meet her in NYC.

We don’t know for sure whether he’s trolling us but if he’s serious he should change his mind, show her some respect and meet her at the port of entry.

Otherwise his detractors are likely correct about his selfishness.

Online Guile

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #313 on: October 18, 2018, 05:49:34 PM »
I can't figure out why he doesn't want to go to NY. Is it the money or is he just too lazy.  It's less than 5 hours and a few hundred bucks.

If my fiancee was flying halfway around the world to meet me I should as heck would do everything to ensure her safe passage.  Hiring some stranger as  translator is laughable to be honest.

I don't think he's trolling.  He just seems stubborn and very inflexible.

Didn't he break off another relationship with a girl and she wanted to get back together, but he refused. on what grounds I don't know.

My advice is to break it off now.  I don't see this ending well.


Online AvHdB

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #314 on: October 18, 2018, 05:54:30 PM »
I can't figure out why he doesn't want to go to NY. Is it the money or is he just too lazy.  It's less than 5 hours and a few hundred bucks.

If my fiancee was flying halfway around the world to meet me I should as heck would do everything to ensure her safe passage.  Hiring some stranger as  translator is laughable to be honest.


I noted this reality before and as as others have echoed it is the correct thing to do, you are not flying to Kiev. It will be plus minus 5 hours of air travel for you as compared to the 15 to 25 perhaps plus hours she is spending to come to America.

Another option is spend a few days in Manhattan after arrival and than fly west, young man.

You can go up to Woodbury Commons and go discount factory store shopping, even by bus for the day. Take a Circle Line around Manhattan and see a Broadway Show.

As for breaking it off, it she has built her dreams on this 'foundation'.


While JustaDude I understand you dislike air travel meeting your bride in NYC (or perhaps Amsterdam/Paris) would be a decent thing to do. I assume she is not traveling directly from KBP to JFK.  :THDN:

If you travelled to Paris or Amsterdam she would come to America with her spouse/partner at her arm.[/font][/size]
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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #315 on: October 18, 2018, 08:02:47 PM »
yeah that's another option, just spend a few days in NY and make a trip out of it.  What's troubling to me is that Justadude doesn't seem fully commited to making sure his fiancee's transition to the USA is as smooth as possible.

It's almost a year with the visa process so he probably doesn't want to quit now, seeing has he has invested time and alot emotionally into it.
But the flip side is, if she is not happy living with him and his conditions she'll want out eventually.

Offline justadude

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #316 on: October 24, 2018, 09:01:55 PM »
There is a piece of the puzzle that I won't share here on RUA. Without that, this update is probably going to be even less useful than are my usual prose.

I read some or your pragmatic comments about the translator/guide idea, things I hadn't thought of. Which is probably because I'm not as well traveled nor as smart as many of you. Nevertheless, Natasha (not her real name) liked the idea. If that plan comes to fruition, Inessa (not her real name either) will talk to this female translator herself before she comes. Furthermore, I'll caution Tatsiana (still not her real name) to keep her wits about her and not to leave the airport with this person.

I shared some more information with Katerina (nope). We are talking some things over.  Sorry I don't have any more information for you right now, but hopefully that gives some of the detractors a little more ammo to use against me :)
two 90 day fiance visas, one 73 day fiance. Lived in Lvov and Odessa for 2 years. California native now on the Oregon Coast

Online Guile

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #317 on: October 24, 2018, 10:59:02 PM »
justadude, I got lost...are all those aliases about your girl or you got 3 in rotation?!  :laugh: 

No one's a detractor here, we all want the guys to succeed and have long lasting relationships.  Just the way you are going about things seems counterintuitive to your end goal.

The translator thing seems real odd.  There's a few guys on this board or the other who are from NY and have Russian wives.  It could have been better to use them, rather than a complete stranger you found on craigslist.

So it seems things are in limbo and she is not confirmed to come over?  how long does her fiancee visa last?

Online andrewfi

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #318 on: October 25, 2018, 01:28:47 AM »
OK, so now you have entered a new stage. Invented people.

Is any of this real?
You getting bored with trolling?
Difficult to keep all the narrative balls in the air?
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Offline msmoby

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #319 on: October 25, 2018, 01:49:21 AM »

No one's a detractor here, we all want the guys to succeed and have long lasting relationships. 

When it comes to relationships - starting or ending - we have lots of 'detractors' who aren't in a relationship, never been married or had kids ..  the trick is to ignore them ...

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Spurious claims about 'seeing action' with the Blue Berets are debunked >here<

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Online andrewfi

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #320 on: October 25, 2018, 02:29:56 AM »
Of course, most, possibly even all posters here have relevant insights and to claim otherwise is either stupid or intentionally dishonest.

Moby, just try to be honest, or less stupid. You and the OP probably share enough in common that even you have relevant insights. For convenience you could possibly precede honest, truthful, posts with the hash tag #notlying?

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Online Guile

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #321 on: October 25, 2018, 02:46:27 AM »

No one's a detractor here, we all want the guys to succeed and have long lasting relationships. 

When it comes to relationships - starting or ending - we have lots of 'detractors' who aren't in a relationship, never been married or had kids ..  the trick is to ignore them ...

Hmm, 2 ex wifes and now a current "mistress"...lost custody of the kids and didn't pay child support.  60 year old with no roots and keeps jumping between Cyprus and the UK and "road trips" in Russia.  You sure are the poster boy for a great relationship! :laugh: :laugh:

Notice how nobody listens to you or asks for your advice.  Think why that is.

Offline msmoby

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #322 on: October 25, 2018, 04:09:49 AM »


Hmm, 2 ex wifes and now a current "mistress"...lost custody of the kids and didn't pay child support.  60 year old with no roots and keeps jumping between Cyprus and the UK and "road trips" in Russia.  You sure are the poster boy for a great relationship! :laugh: :laugh:

Notice how nobody listens to you or asks for your advice.  Think why that is.

Wow, someone knew the cap was theirs, that it fitted  and bit ... followed by more patent lies

1/ Why do you feel the constant need to add to my years ?

2/ IF I owed child support - I'd be easy to find  - as you point out - I'm 'all over the net'  :chuckle: - you aren't the sharpest tool in the box re posting stuff with no basis in fact ..

3/ I never contested my kids RESIDENCY - I worked full time and the Mum of our kids was a house-wife ...  you may be confused with HER breaking contact orders ?

4/ I have roots, thanks and financial institutions have my address, same contact phone number of c. two decades and same email addy of 15 years

EVERY post of yours proves your infatuation and inability to handle a valid point

Yes, I've been in two very long  LTRs that didn't work out - one I left and one where I was dumped and boy have a I made mistakes ....  hence my pointing out and you so obligingly biting - that you have zip experience and my suggesting why your posts are somewhat dodgy  - from relationships to places you have been


5/ How is using the term 'current mistress' appropriate given we will v.soon be in our sixth year of a relationship ? t implies some sort of 'seediness' and former RU wife and my fiancee get along just fine.

Carry on - you are really funny






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Offline msmoby

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #323 on: October 25, 2018, 04:18:22 AM »
Of course, most, possibly even all posters here have relevant insights and to claim otherwise is either stupid or intentionally dishonest.

Moby, just try to be honest, or less stupid. You and the OP probably share enough in common that even you have relevant insights. For convenience you could possibly precede honest, truthful, posts with the hash tag #notlying?

..and along came the other poster I was referring to ...  and your 'relevant insight' to marriage and raising the fruits of one's loins   ...

Discussing honesty with THE poster who has posted the most suggestions of 'dishonesty' on my part 

Now, you might be lucky and another of my ripostes to your utter bollox re my affairs will disappear ... 

I have never claimed to be a Blue Beret

Spurious claims about 'seeing action' with the Blue Berets are debunked >here<

Here is my Russophobia/Kremlinphobia topic

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Re: 10 days in Lvov with an angel
« Reply #324 on: October 25, 2018, 04:51:54 AM »

No one's a detractor here, we all want the guys to succeed and have long lasting relationships. 

When it comes to relationships - starting or ending - we have lots of 'detractors' who aren't in a relationship, never been married or had kids ..  the trick is to ignore them ...

So based on your theory, you’d be an excellent candidate to provide balanced, thoughtful, rational and truthful advice?


 

 

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