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Author Topic: Trip to Kiev  (Read 1429 times)

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Offline Bobbykins

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Trip to Kiev
« on: December 28, 2017, 09:30:45 AM »
I arranged a last minute trip to Kiev basically to avoid xmas in UK. My plan was WNVN (write non-visit non) but I had made a contact on Mamba back in August and thought I would give it it a go.
I rented a car at the airport thinking I would be able to travel where I chose. On arrival snow had blocked most routes outside of Kiev, there was a good foot of snow. I can't recommend car hire for Kiev. The roads are gridlocked at peak times and you really have to concentrate to stay out of collisions. The road junctions in Kiev are simply insane, illogical and dangerous and to make it even tougher for myself all I had was a google road map on a tiny smart phone. I am unsure if satnavs could direct you in the chaos.

Anyway I arrive at peak afternoon traffic and have to navigate my way across the city to a hotel I had booked for the night on the outskirts of west Kiev. I managed it in 2 hours, I can assure you it was an heroic feat.

So I call the girl on whatsapp from the hotel and she says she is busy!!! I actually thought it quite amusing but persevered and said she has to meet me as I had travelled so far. So she relents and deigns to meet me at Ocean Plaza shopping complex the next day at 3.

I drive to the complex, park the car in the underground car park 2 hours early, and have a wander round. I walk through a subway and see an old woman begging, I gave her 50 grivna and got a huge smile and her eyes genuinely lit up, it really lifted my spirits. I thought for 50 grivna it was a great trade, I can recommend it. I never give to beggars in UK but life here is tough.

Anyway the girl arrives 30 minutes late, she calls and says 'I'm in the café', which one I ask. Takes another 10 minutes to locate her, but I ask you, how dumb can you be.
So I finally meet her and she is 41 and looks really good, very attractive, tall natural blonde, fit!, in fact I would say 10 years ago you would have to join a very long queue to date this girl. We sit and chat non-stop for an hour. She used to be a full time time gymnast and was Ukraine national champion, now she teaches dance for children.
We decide to meet the next day as she wants me to meet her young daughter.

The hotel I stayed at was superb 5* with a fantastic spa complex, swimming pool, 4 different types of sauna and really clean and well managed.
So I thought I would invite the 2 of them to be my guest for an afternoon at the Spa, rather than meet at another shopping mall which she wanted. She wrote back on whatsapp, saying what type of woman do you think I am, I don't meet men in sauna.
I thought its better to let this girl go, she was obviously going to be difficult. I have added her whatsapp picture, and to be fair it doesn't do her justice.

So that evening I ask the reception, where is a good restaurant, and as usual they gave me shit directions. I end up lost in a new housing estate and for a change it actually looked decent. I noticed a restaurant on the ground floor and went in, they only served pizza and I decided I wanted something Ukranian. As I left, I noticed a bar next door, serving craft beers, and went in, there were 4 people sitting at the bar, it was small and very quiet. The barman spoke poor English so I struck up a conversation with the 4 customers, one of them was a very nice, educated, polite girl of about 34 and was with her husband. They were all interested in conversing with me, I really enjoyed the jovial conversation, they gave me proper directions on their smartphones of a good Ukranian restaurant, so I bought them a drink and left.

I found the restaurant, unfortunately it was being used for a private party, so I decided to return to the pizza restaurant. On my way back I dropped in to a small supermarket for some bottled water. I walked upto the water section and instinctively asked a woman standing next to me, 'which is gas water'. As she turned to face me, I almost gulped, it was a Britt Ekland look alike, she was absolutely stunning. She replied very frostily, 'I don't know', but then went out of her way to help me get the size that I wanted.
I thought , this woman will not be single, no chance! So I continued on and decided to buy a small bottle of cognac, and who goes past me but Britt Ekland, again I ask her to help me to choose some cognac, frostily she says 'I don't drink', but asks one of the attendants to help me. So I continue to buy some chips and go to the checkout. As I am standing at the checkout, Britt joins me in line, so I pay for my goods and wait till she buys hers. I then offer her a lift home.
The ice queen finally melts and introduces herself. She gets into the car and we chat like old friends. I ask her on a date the next day, she punches her number into my phone and gets it to ring on hers.

I thought I'd won the lottery.

I drove back to the pizza joint and ordered a big pizza, I ask them for a small beer, they said go into the craft beer bar next door and we will bring in the pizza.

So I get to meet my 4 friends again, they greet me like a celebrity, but this time I notice they are a little bit drunk. They offer to take me on a tour of Kiev the next day, which I refuse as I will meet this new girl. I notice that the girl is looking at me too much especially as her husband was next to her (but he was too drunk to notice) she was paying me too much attention and would touch my arm intermittently, I thought it was time to go. They really didn't want me to go, and offered to let me stay in their apartment.

To be continued..............


Offline Bobbykins

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2017, 09:37:44 AM »
How do I add attachments?

Offline Manny

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2017, 10:18:31 AM »
How do I add attachments?

This is fastest: https://imgbb.com/ - then you just paste the BB code it gives you in your post.

Well written tale, I'm interested in reading the rest.  :thumbsup:


Offline Poldark

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2017, 10:25:52 AM »
I can't recommend car hire for Kiev.
Having used my friend's BMW, I can safely say I'd rather walk on hot coals than do that again. I hate Kyiv roads.
So I call the girl on whatsapp from the hotel and she says she is busy!!! I actually thought it quite amusing but persevered and said she has to meet me as I had travelled so far. So she relents and deigns to meet me at Ocean Plaza shopping complex the next day at 3.
Not a very good way to start is it?
Anyway the girl arrives 30 minutes late, she calls and says 'I'm in the café', which one I ask. Takes another 10 minutes to locate her, but I ask you, how dumb can you be.
I think it's you who is the dumb one here, not her.
The hotel I stayed at was superb 5* with a fantastic spa complex, swimming pool, 4 different types of sauna and really clean and well managed.
Hilton?
So I thought I would invite the 2 of them to be my guest for an afternoon at the Spa, rather than meet at another shopping mall which she wanted. She wrote back on whatsapp, saying what type of woman do you think I am, I don't meet men in sauna.
I thought its better to let this girl go, she was obviously going to be difficult.
I agree with her, whether you meant to or not, you come across as pushing for one thing only with that.

So that evening I ask the reception, where is a good restaurant, and as usual they gave me shit directions.
I'm sensing a pattern here, maybe it's you?

No offence intended but you come off as arrogant, rude and very up yourself. You also don't seem to understand why inviting a woman you'd only just met back to your hotel with her daughter the next day is a bad decision. She wouldn't have been difficult if you hadn't had offered the standard tourist BS of what is essentially a proposition for sex.

I also believe you're reading too much into the last lady with her husband.

I'm intrigued to see the rest however and Happy New Year.

Online msmoby

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2017, 12:57:05 PM »
GREAT a trip report -

 :thumbsup:

Waiting for further instalments, also

Offline Bobbykins

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2017, 01:02:52 PM »
So the next morning I wake up late, 11, and decide to call my new friend Britt Ekland, I dial the number, no answer, I dial again, no answer. I send 2 texts and wait for the reply. Nothing comes and I think to myself, what a fool. This girl must have a million admirers, why would she waste her time on me.
DEFLATION!.
Then I think why didn't I take the number from my 4 friends in the craft beer shop, I could have a great day with them. Shit happens.
So I decide to have a day of relaxation in the gym and spa.
Whilst I am in the spa I meet a ukranian woman with an Azerbaijani man. They are incredibly friendly and I already met them at breakfast. Again I notice that she pays me too much attention which I try to laugh off. The guy retires to their room and she invites me to the salt pool, to chat. I couldn't believe it. She then shows me some ballet moves on the side of the pool including the splits, I kid you not. She asks me for my whatsapp number, quickly I say, I cant remember the number, so she asks for my English number, which begrudgingly I give. I am now in UK and she has sent me a message inviting me to meet her in Kiev. I blocked her.
Now before you start thinking I look like some George Clooney film star, I would describe myself as an ugly George Clooney. Its just that I make a real effort to be friendly, extra polite and funny.

So I'm back in my room thinking that's the day done when I get a text from Britt Ekland saying she has been busy all day but can meet at 8. Can I pick her up at the supermarket we met at.
There is a god!
.
I get straight into the shower, thinking what the night will hold. Little did I know.

to be continued................

Offline Bobbykins

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2017, 01:06:22 PM »

Offline Wiz

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2017, 02:09:13 PM »

So I'm back in my room thinking that's the day done when I get a text from Britt Ekland saying she has been busy all day but can meet at 8. Can I pick her up at the supermarket we met at.

There is a god!

Yes there is "God" or a Brtit Eckland lookalike .......who likes having dinner at a nice restaurant and then to be entertained..... but needs to have a generous philanthropist .... to pick up the bill!

Just for safety she brings with her a very nice looking friend..... and together have fun with their new found friend.

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Offline Czenny

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2017, 03:42:53 PM »
I live in the south of Ukraine and we heard everyday how dangerous Kiev is, something negative happens too often.   :o
Livet är fullt av ironier.

Offline Poldark

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2017, 05:10:54 PM »
I live in the south of Ukraine and we heard everyday how dangerous Kiev is, something negative happens too often.   :o
I wouldn't say that Kyiv is dangerous, just it's not the place to be at the moment!

I'm still intrigued as to how Bobbykins has faired in Kyiv, I found it easy to meet women despite them being flaky (as he's finding) and most were only in it for the dinner which didn't bother me in the slighest. I'll probably head to Odesa or L'viv come summer time.

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2017, 02:16:41 AM »
I live in the south of Ukraine and we heard everyday how dangerous Kiev is, something negative happens too often.   :o
The most sad is the aggressive stance some Ukrainians take to Russians and also the other way around.

Both countries are of the same heritage and should treat each other as brothers. Shame on the west for poking where they didn't belong. They knew how it would end and still tried.
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Offline Bobbykins

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2017, 05:57:29 AM »
She sent me a text with a google plan to pick her up from her house, but I just couldn't find it. Its now 10.15. So we agree to meet at the supermarket and 10 minutes later Britt Ekland turns up with a friend, they both jump into the car and say lets go to the café. 'Where is it I ask'. We will take you into Kiev, we know a really nice place. I was seriously disappointed that she had brought her friend without even mentioning it. So we head into Kiev and I am thinking, this is a mugs game. I wasn't going to take them to a posh restaurant and then pick up the tab. I can be very generous but nobody takes me for a fool.

I have always taken the view that dating rules are the same in any country, if someone doesn't show you respect then keep going.

They both were well educated, but in jobs that obviously didn't pay well, they were friends and neighbours, they lived with their parents in houses rather than flats. It was a more salubrious area of Kiev.

30 minutes later we arrive at the 'cafe'. It was a nightclub, restaurant called Karusel and was packed out. It confirmed my thoughts that I was just a patsy. Fortunately there were no tables , so they said come on we will find another place, it gave me time to hatch my plan.

They found a real nice restaurant, I don't know where it was or its Ukranian name, but it looked onto the main road. As we went in I said lets get a table in the window and at the same time said, I need to collect my wallet from the car.

I got into the car, drove in front of the window, beeped my horn and waved goodbye. Their faces were a picture.
The texts to my phone came pretty quick.

I am pretty sure that it taught them a lesson, it certainly taught me one, if it looks to good to be true, then it usually is.













Offline Bobbykins

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2017, 06:29:09 AM »
I only had 4 full days in Kiev, eventful but hectic.

Kiev is one hell of a chaotic city, especially in winter. Aside from the historic centre which is quite pleasant the architecture is grotesque. Block after block of monstrous apartments which fill the skyline like a horror cartoon. There are enormous contrasts of 21st century shopping malls adjacent to subways that feel like a Dickens novel. Restaurants are reasonable and the food generally excellent. The hotel I stayed in was 5* for $80/night, fabulous value and it allows you to tip all the staff and get great service.

Renting a car for moving round Kiev is only for the brave. The chances of a collision in winter are high. Other road users are not only inconsiderate but aggressive and potentially violent. I cannot believe how dangerous it is for pedestrians in the suburbs, they dress all in black, the headlights are covered in salt, recipe for disaster, I swear I nearly killed 1 guy, but for the grace of god. I am convinced there are numerous deaths on Kiev roads that don't make the statistics.

As for meeting women, I think for a guy of my age and for the quality of person I am looking for, then only a 6 month stint would bring home the goods.

I hope you enjoyed my road trip, I haven't included all of my exploits. Whilst I'm thinking, I stayed 1 night at the sofievsky posad hotel4*, there is a receptionist there that is off the scale, and she is single, because I asked her, but she was so handsome I actually couldn't summon up courage.

Happy New Year

Offline Bobbykins

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2017, 06:44:55 AM »
1 final thing.

On leaving Kiev at Boryspil airport the immigration informed me there was a problem with my passport. The officer told me to wait by the booth and a senior officer would deal with me. I nervously waited for 15 mins until a uniformed guy asked me to go into an office, where there was another uniformed officer. I was then shitting myself, until they pointed out that one of the pages in the passport looked dodgy ( I had attempted to remove an old Russian visa) and I should change my passport, they then let me go through.

Not an experience I want to suffer ever again, the immigration at Kiev are OTT and don't just look at your passport, they analyse every detail. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.

Offline B.B.

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Re: Trip to Kiev
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2017, 08:04:18 AM »
she is single, because I asked her, but she was so handsome I actually couldn't summon up courage.

"Faint heart never won fair lady."

Just sayin'.

That said, you have to be cognizant of hitting on women where they work, even in Ukr.

B/B
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