Russian Women and Emotions

[wdavidv]

I have been engaged for over a months to a woman from Russia.  We are in the K-1 Visa waiting process.

In all this time my fiancee has said I love you just once, maybe twice, despite my saying it repeatedly.  We have very wonderful and very engaging Skype communication but I'm still baffled by her lack of emotive responses.

Is this normal?  Do Russian women, in general, have a hard time expressing emotions?

[Bruce Lee]

Do Russian women, in general, have a hard time expressing emotions?

To answer your question, in my experience no!!

[Steveboy]

I have been engaged for over a months to a woman from Russia.  We are in the K-1 Visa waiting process.

In all this time my fiancee has said I love you just once, maybe twice, despite my saying it repeatedly.  We have very wonderful and very engaging Skype communication but I'm still baffled by her lack of emotive responses.

Is this normal?  Do Russian women, in general, have a hard time expressing emotions?

Engaged for how long? One month? and already getting married? How many times have you met this women?

If she cannot be bothered to say she loves you she clearly doesn't probably, best to check her out if you haven't done so already before wasting your time and money on a visa!

Ok maybe Im wrong but it sounds like you met some women from some village on a day trip, asked her to become engaged to her that day , returned back to the USA all happy making your visa! ? Have you had sex with this women? Just asking:)) don't take it the wrong way!

[wdavidv]

We met online through Elena's Models and communicated for several months.  I then visited her in St. Petersburg where the proposal was made at the end of July.  So, engaged since then.

i'm wondering for the first time if it wasn't all just an opportunity for her to get way from a tough life, enjoy a week of fun, and then return home. However, she is 54 years old (I am 59) and we've met each other's families on Skype and continue with weekly communication.  She has said "I love you" on Skype a few weeks back but generally is not a very emotive person.  She is very friendly on Skype.

[Steveboy]

So she does not live in St Petersburg if she returned home after a "week of fun"?

I don't think it is possible to chat to some one online for a couple of months, then turn up and propose on the first meeting! How can a women just up sticks and plan to relocate after meeting a guy for 7 days just once. She is probably a little confused and not exactly sure what she is doing, not that it means she is not serious , women of that age usually don't do things for fun! She probably has lots to think about.

[Truly Yours]

I have been engaged for over a months to a woman from Russia.  We are in the K-1 Visa waiting process.

In all this time my fiancee has said I love you just once, maybe twice, despite my saying it repeatedly.  We have very wonderful and very engaging Skype communication but I'm still baffled by her lack of emotive responses.

Is this normal?  Do Russian women, in general, have a hard time expressing emotions?

It is completely OK; it's not what you should call "having a hard time expressing emotions". These words are not the ones you say casually all the time; moreover, I've heard many times from Russian girls/women complaints about how easy it is for a Western man (usually, an American) to say such serious words, and how unbecomingly to those words they then act, as if you say it without putting real emotions into it. You should concentrate not on your words, but on your acts more often; Russian women pay much more attention to them. If she's already said it once, then she means it, do not expect her to repeat it over and over again! It is like the more you say it, the less meaning those words have. Sweet-talk in moderation not to appear shallow! (Although it would depend on a woman's personality, some like it, but they choose Italian lovers then )

[andrewfi]

Whoops, I must stop drink driving my time machine, looks like I am back in 2002 again. 

[Contrarian]

I have been engaged for over a months to a woman from Russia.  We are in the K-1 Visa waiting process.

In all this time my fiancee has said I love you just once, maybe twice, despite my saying it repeatedly.  We have very wonderful and very engaging Skype communication but I'm still baffled by her lack of emotive responses.

Is this normal?  Do Russian women, in general, have a hard time expressing emotions?

It is completely OK; it's not what you should call "having a hard time expressing emotions". These words are not the ones you say casually all the time; moreover, I've heard many times from Russian girls/women complaints about how easy it is for a Western man (usually, an American) to say such serious words, and how unbecomingly to those words they then act, as if you say it without putting real emotions into it. You should concentrate not on your words, but on your acts more often; Russian women pay much more attention to them. If she's already said it once, then she means it, do not expect her to repeat it over and over again! It is like the more you say it, the less meaning those words have. Sweet-talk in moderation not to appear shallow! (Although it would depend on a woman's personality, some like it, but they choose Italian lovers then )

 

[andrewfi]

If the target of your affections has a well sorted life, home, health, employment, security then she is likely to be capable of feeling and expressing love. Love is something that is prioritised somewhat after the foregoing.

If your target has a shitty life, or thinks she has, then expressing love and feeling it are likely to be hard.

This disparity is, IMHO, a big reason why USAian men going to buy a wife overseas end up appearing to be love-sick gurning idiots to the women they meet and make the targets of their affections. The guys might be relatively old but they usually are relatively well sorted. They have all the requisites of life and for them to feel and express love is easy. The women they meet are not so well sorted; that's the reason why they are willing to upend their lives and export themselves for a life upgrade via marriage.

However, much more likely in this case is that you met a woman, spent a week with her and to expect somebody to be 'in love' with you after such a short time is, frankly, unrealistic. There's a deal more face time to be spent together before such a thing is likely to be real and honest. Problem is that if you are questioning, now, what is going on and professing the adequacy of remote control relationships then you ain't the man for the job of pitching woo in the real world.

Unless you are the man ready to pitch woo in the real world you can save yourself and any affection targets a lot of time and inconvenience, not to mention money, by accepting the reality and getting on with life in your own community with your own peers.

Ugghhh, Andrew needs to get back to the future ...FAST!

[msmoby]

So many blokes responding -------  it's ASK A RUSSIAN LADY

[AvHdB]

Wdavidv, Welcome to RUA.

You asked for a woman's point of view, but unfortunately earlier FiFi felt it was essential to chase them all away in his own 'sweet' way, such a gentleman!

It is hard to give any 'correct' answer, and it does not matter where they reside, each woman is unique.

But ask your self this how much time have you spent together? This excludes Skype time. Do you have any common interests? Would you enter into a long term relationship with a local woman based on the amount of time that you have spent with 'your' ova?

What is her background and education? Does she live a simple life in a village or is a professor at a University. You absolutely need to loose the white knight attitude and approach.

Women tend to guard there emotions and often 'love' evolves over time spent together. But to answer your question if a Slavic woman is annoyed with you ~ you will hear this loud and clear (assuming you are not deaf). These are women who are not afraid to state there emotions.

Consider presently in Russia there is unfortunately a strong anti-American sentiment as there is the United States towards all things Russia and this might also be influencing feelings and thinking. I would if at all possible spend more face to face time with your bride before moving her to the United States.

[andrewfi]

Not many ladies posting here.
It is nice to see that both our inebriate and indigent posters are happy, each in their own manner, to chime in.

Well done girls, keep it up!

[AvHdB]

Not many ladies posting here.
It is nice to see that both our inebriate and indigent posters are happy, each in their own manner, to chime in.

Well done girls, keep it up!

Andrew, It is better to admit to your ill bred and anti-social 'style' than trying to shuffle it on to others. That you have inadequacies is obvious to the rest of the posters but this reality does not excuse you behavior at all.

A simple suggestion, let your used toilet paper fall to the water in the bowl and flush, instead of ingesting and regurgitating it on the forum. 

[wdavidv]

Thank you for the insightful comments.  It has been extremely helpful. Iy helped clarify this whole issue for me.

[Texan77]

Please take the time to know your girl well.  I have no plans to bring my girl to the USA but still I did One thing that help her know me better. That was to make a series of videos. I show her my friends and show her what the streets were like while I was driving, I show her me working and doing the everyday things I do here.  In the video I show her ever room in my home and all my furniture. I show her my dog and how we play. My neighborhood and the neighbors.

One guy that was in a video steaveboy posted asked a girl to come to the UK and she was shock how bad his apartment was. She surely had no interest in clean it up neither. This surprise thing is not a good thing and does not help. 

One of the big problems is to know her attitudes about money. Make sure she does not have a belief that she is going to be living much higher standard of living than she is. Many FSU women do not seem to have an interest in saving and can be pretty short term thinkers. Of course, this is not everyone.

I was having my truck repaired when the shop owner talked about another man's wife.  He said, she was very pretty, but she could not live without a new car every year and not a cheap one. Then he went on to say he made him sell his old house and buy her a much larger new one designed just the way she like it. I said, "She must be Russian." His jaw fell open and said " Yes! How did you know?" Just be sure you understand her attitude on everything before you bring her here. 

[AvHdB]

Please take the time to know your girl well.  I have no plans to bring my girl to the USA but still I did One thing that help her know me better. That was to make a series of videos. I show her my friends and show her what the streets were like while I was driving, I show her me working and doing the everyday things I do here.  In the video I show her ever room in my home and all my furniture. I show her my dog and how we play. My neighborhood and the neighbors.

One guy that was in a video steaveboy posted asked a girl to come to the UK and she was shock how bad his apartment was. She surely had no interest in clean it up neither. This surprise thing is not a good thing and does not help. 

One of the big problems is to know her attitudes about money. Make sure she does not have a belief that she is going to be living much higher standard of living than she is. Many FSU women do not seem to have an interest in saving and can be pretty short term thinkers. Of course, this is not everyone.

I was having my truck repaired when the shop owner talked about another man's wife.  He said, she was very pretty, but she could not live without a new car every year and not a cheap one. Then he went on to say he made him sell his old house and buy her a much larger new one designed just the way she like it. I said, "She must be Russian." His jaw fell open and said " Yes! How did you know?" Just be sure you understand her attitude on everything before you bring her here.

David, There is allot of wisdom in Tex's words. Some women from the former Soviet Union are frugal and conservative. Others well the last part of Tex's post hits the nail on the head, I have seen both. You might have a problem. BUT until you spend some serious time together with a woman from another culture you really do not 'know' her.

From your posts you have one visit under the belt, not allot of time together in my opinion.

Perhaps you can take her on a vacation that removes her from her comfort zone and see how she reacts. Other members are highly against this approach but I think it is worth considering. For the good order I am NOT thinking a visit to the Champs-Élysées or Bond Street, more like a hiking vacation, or what I did, a charter on a small sailboat.

[yankee]

Please take the time to know your girl well.  I have no plans to bring my girl to the USA but still I did One thing that help her know me better. That was to make a series of videos. I show her my friends and show her what the streets were like while I was driving, I show her me working and doing the everyday things I do here.  In the video I show her ever room in my home and all my furniture. I show her my dog and how we play. My neighborhood and the neighbors.

One guy that was in a video steaveboy posted asked a girl to come to the UK and she was shock how bad his apartment was. She surely had no interest in clean it up neither. This surprise thing is not a good thing and does not help. 

One of the big problems is to know her attitudes about money. Make sure she does not have a belief that she is going to be living much higher standard of living than she is. Many FSU women do not seem to have an interest in saving and can be pretty short term thinkers. Of course, this is not everyone.

I was having my truck repaired when the shop owner talked about another man's wife.  He said, she was very pretty, but she could not live without a new car every year and not a cheap one. Then he went on to say he made him sell his old house and buy her a much larger new one designed just the way she like it. I said, "She must be Russian." His jaw fell open and said " Yes! How did you know?" Just be sure you understand her attitude on everything before you bring her here.

David, There is allot of wisdom in Tex's words. Some women from the former Soviet Union are frugal and conservative. Others well the last part of Tex's post hits the nail on the head, I have seen both. You might have a problem. BUT until you spend some serious time together with a woman from another culture you really do not 'know' her.

From your posts you have one visit under the belt, not allot of time together in my opinion.

Perhaps you can take her on a vacation that removes her from her comfort zone and see how she reacts. Other members are highly against this approach but I think it is worth considering. For the good order I am NOT thinking a visit to the Champs-Élysées or Bond Street, more like a hiking vacation, or what I did, a charter on a small sailboat.

Our first meeting was a week in Rome followed by a week in Barcelona, followed by two weeks in Paris then Russia then US (three months) and others.  We dated for three years before getting married.  We did not meet with each others family until AFTER we decided to get married.   

[Tom Cat]

Please take the time to know your girl well.  I have no plans to bring my girl to the USA but still I did One thing that help her know me better. That was to make a series of videos. I show her my friends and show her what the streets were like while I was driving, I show her me working and doing the everyday things I do here.  In the video I show her ever room in my home and all my furniture. I show her my dog and how we play. My neighborhood and the neighbors.

One guy that was in a video steaveboy posted asked a girl to come to the UK and she was shock how bad his apartment was. She surely had no interest in clean it up neither. This surprise thing is not a good thing and does not help. 

One of the big problems is to know her attitudes about money. Make sure she does not have a belief that she is going to be living much higher standard of living than she is. Many FSU women do not seem to have an interest in saving and can be pretty short term thinkers. Of course, this is not everyone.

I was having my truck repaired when the shop owner talked about another man's wife.  He said, she was very pretty, but she could not live without a new car every year and not a cheap one. Then he went on to say he made him sell his old house and buy her a much larger new one designed just the way she like it. I said, "She must be Russian." His jaw fell open and said " Yes! How did you know?" Just be sure you understand her attitude on everything before you bring her here.

David, There is allot of wisdom in Tex's words. Some women from the former Soviet Union are frugal and conservative. Others well the last part of Tex's post hits the nail on the head, I have seen both. You might have a problem. BUT until you spend some serious time together with a woman from another culture you really do not 'know' her.

From your posts you have one visit under the belt, not allot of time together in my opinion.

Perhaps you can take her on a vacation that removes her from her comfort zone and see how she reacts. Other members are highly against this approach but I think it is worth considering. For the good order I am NOT thinking a visit to the Champs-Élysées or Bond Street, more like a hiking vacation, or what I did, a charter on a small sailboat.

Our first meeting was a week in Rome followed by a week in Barcelona, followed by two weeks in Paris then Russia then US (three months) and others.  We dated for three years before getting married.  We did not meet with each others family until AFTER we decided to get married.   

When a lady is sincere, most any place you plan to meet will have positive results.
And if the lady is not sincere, it really does not matter how carefully you plan, the end result won't be what you wanted.

[Steveboy]

So many blokes responding -------  it's ASK A RUSSIAN LADY

Thats a strange answer from you? I thought all of your lot were cross dressers, slightly bent and the usual. It is perfectly ok for guys to answer for the women today , we live in a world of Male, female, neutral , hermaphrodites, crossdressers and so many other versions its normal...

[AvHdB]

So many blokes responding -------  it's ASK A RUSSIAN LADY

Thats a strange answer from you? I thought all of your lot were cross dressers, slightly bent and the usual. It is perfectly ok for guys to answer for the women today , we live in a world of Male, female, neutral , hermaphrodites, crossdressers and so many other versions its normal...

 

[Ste]

It's actually a Russian-SPEAKING lady too....

[wdavidv]

Once again, I've appreciated several of the sincere replies on this thread. They have been invaluable.  The others, well.......

[AvHdB]

Once again, I've appreciated several of the sincere replies on this thread. They have been invaluable.  The others, well.......

David, There often will be asides in replies, this is a forum after all and we are not paid. A fairly broad spectrum of opinions are posted and you need to see what fits to your situation.

I have noted elsewhere there is no one way to prosecute this adventure successfully, but certainly plenty of ways to make a right royal mess of it.

[Olga_Mouse]

If she's already said it once, then she means it, do not expect her to repeat it over and over again!
It is like the more you say it, the less meaning those words have.

+1

[Lialia270]

I think you should take a closer look at your bride...
it's not about emotions, but about real feelings...
a woman can express her love by doing something.
You should  spending more time with your woman to see her love))