Crash course in dating a Belarusian Required

[htrj]

Hello all, I've kind of accidentally sparked something off with a Belarusian girl and wondered if you can offer me some advice to save me getting into a mess here.

A few months ago I was online and got chatting to a great looking blond who was based in Spain. I am based in the UK but planning to spend a lot more time in Spain in the near future. After a few weeks of assuming she was Spanish she tells me she is from Belarus, a country and culture I know nothing about.

So, then I go and Google "Belarus Women" and boy does putting that phrase into a search engine open a can a worms! Tales of genuine bride agencies, fake bride agencies, scam warnings etc.... none of which do anything to ease my nerves.

Now I feel I am at a cross roads with this. Although I have not met her personally yet she is, apparently, into me. On one hand I am cautious of this if only because of the horror stories I have read.... I do half wonder if shes a scammer..... Also she is great looking, fun, polite and easy to talk to... and im not used to having all those things dating British women.

I suppose what im asking is where is the catch here? If shes genuine whats in it for her?

[Ste]

Two things, is she out of your league, and is she real?

[Contrarian]

This is all conjecture until you go meet her in person so what's holding you back?

Boy meets girl, boy talks to girl, etc. all in person.

Anything else is BS.   

[htrj]

Two things, is she out of your league, and is she real?

As far as I can tell, she is real. I have her on the phone, talking, texting, but ive read back through our messages and there really is nothing for me to raise any suspicion of her. Due to the current geographical separation between us she tried to cut communication with me a couple of times but I managed to get her talking again, so that might be an indication she is legit. 

Is she out of my league? I think she is great looking but I've dated good looking women like her before now so, I would say no. Also, she tells me her ex used to go from Spain to meet her in Belarus before she moved to Spain to be with him. She now has a child with him but they have separated. She lives in a predominantly Latino city, enjoys the life and does not want to return to Belarus. However, after her experience with the ex, she doesn't want to date Latin men anymore. She says she prefers North European guys, who are thin on the ground where she is.

This is all conjecture until you go meet her in person so what's holding you back?

Boy meets girl, boy talks to girl, etc. all in person.

Anything else is BS.   

Agreed. Its only really the last week or so i've been taking this seriously. Prior to that I was "80% she's a con artist but shes helping me improve my Spanish" and 20% "She probably won't still be single by the time I arrive down there anyway but ill keep chatting just so ive got another contact when I arrive."

I am now taking this a lot more seriously and looking to go down there soon. Sods law the summer holidays are upon us and flights and accommodation prices are through the roof.........

[Ste]

Does she have Spanish residency? If she's separated recently after marriage she most likely won't be legal. Could be looking for a visa mule, even one from Britain with Brexit looming and oncoming no Freedom of Movement.

Rosco here married a Belorus girl, wait for him, but my spider sense is tingling I'm afraid, things just don't stack up..

[Manny]

There are a lot of women working clubs in Spain as "dancers" and similar from the FSU. Many originally imported by men. There is a very complex undercurrent going on there. I've heard a lot about it in Mallorca so I assume it is similar elsewhere there.

Assuming she isnt in that scenario, I'd have a few days away, meet her and see what occurs.

What's the age gap?

[Contrarian]

There are a lot of women working clubs in Spain as "dancers" and similar from the FSU. Many originally imported by men. There is a very complex undercurrent going on there. I've heard a lot about it in Mallorca so I assume it is similar elsewhere there.

Assuming she isnt in that scenario, I'd have a few days away, meet her and see what occurs.

What's the age gap?

this is real good advice here. 

provided she's not some sort of "dancer" etc. she may just want to meet a decent guy. cannot know for sure imo until you visit but definitely be careful and meet in public places and have some sort of exit plan if need be.

[AvHdB]

This is all conjecture until you go meet her in person so what's holding you back?

Boy meets girl, boy talks to girl, etc. all in person.

Anything else is BS.   

The above is in a nutshell the truth.

Numerous posters have come and gone looking for an actual guarantee that they are not in speaking with a scammer. Until you meet her it is all hypothetical. Yes some here can share there insight and opinions but each situation is unique.

There is an expression nothing ventured nothing gained. 

But let me turn the reality around what do you think she thinks and feels about an Englishman? There are numerous horror stories from a female point of view.

[andrewfi]

Why would you want to get involved with such a silly thing?
Woman out of her depth, probably not legal, with a spare kid, probably dumb as a post - the bright ones don't get themselves into the kind of mess she is almost certainly in.

If you think that, in terms of appearance at least that she's not out of your league then why to bother?

Oh, and to cap it all if you are British I'll eat my Internet hat. You're a USAian. That means you will have a load of residency issues of your own and importing her back to the USA will be a big pain.

[msmoby]

Htrj

Welcome to the board, and I hope that you understand that even the rudest responses have your best interests at heart !

All, the advice sounds reasonable, but as you are UK based and she is only in Spain - why not simply say to her, " I'll fly out and meet you" ..?

IF she has had a child by a Spaniard - even if Mum is 'illegal' - unlikely - unless she has overstayed - broken the terms of her visa  - Her being deported, imminently is unlikely.

She might actually be vulnerable and seeking a 'strong man' to look after her kid and her ...   Fine, if that's the sort of arrangement you are happy with - hoping for more ...

What's the worst case scenario ... ? She is hoping to scam you ...   

My advice ? IF you are interested .. get on a plane and you'll either be 'hooked' or cured )

[Contrarian]

Why would you want to get involved with such a silly thing?
Woman out of her depth, probably not legal, with a spare kid, probably dumb as a post - the bright ones don't get themselves into the kind of mess she is almost certainly in.

If you think that, in terms of appearance at least that she's not out of your league then why to bother?

Oh, and to cap it all if you are British I'll eat my Internet hat. You're a USAian. That means you will have a load of residency issues of your own and importing her back to the USA will be a big pain.

How do you come to the conclusion he's from the USA? I don't get that.

[andrewfi]

I can't imagine a Briton would refer to a town in Spain as being 'Latino'. That is an American usage. Most Britons would not understand. Plus, of course, the writer displays the lack of geographic awareness found commonly in USAians. A decently educated USAian would know to use Hispanic, not Latino, in this context.

Any Briton already knows that Spaniards live in Spain. There's no Italian colonies here.

So, a poorly educated USAian making up a story.

[Ste]

I can't imagine a Briton would refer to a town in Spain as being 'Latino'. That is an American usage. Most Britons would not understand. Plus, of course, the writer displays the lack of geographic awareness found commonly in USAians. A decently educated USAian would know to use Hispanic, not Latino, in this context.

Any Briton already knows that Spaniards live in Spain. There's no Italian colonies here.

So, a poorly educated USAian making up a story.

OP also says he’s ‘based’ in the UK.

Come on OP let’s have the full SP.

[Maxx]

I can't imagine a Briton would refer to a town in Spain as being 'Latino'. That is an American usage. Most Britons would not understand. Plus, of course, the writer displays the lack of geographic awareness found commonly in USAians. A decently educated USAian would know to use Hispanic, not Latino, in this context.

Any Briton already knows that Spaniards live in Spain. There's no Italian colonies here.

So, a poorly educated USAian making up a story.

OP also says he’s ‘based’ in the UK.

Come on OP let’s have the full SP.

That stood out to me also. But I don't think we should tar and feather him for it. Why does he have to tell us every detail of his life, where he is from and so on? 

[htrj]

Yes, I am British, living in England, soon be living in Spain. Post Brexit I hope to be doing that using my dual Irish, and therefore European, citizenship. I have a fair grasp of Spanish having lived there previously and also I have a Bolivian client here that I speak to in Spanish weekly. To say "Latino" is not necessarily an Americanism, but it is how my client refers to herself (Latina) and how my Belarusian friend refers to her neighbours. Its just a noun that I have become used to using.

In a nutshell I have encountered someone I like who appears interested in me. There is no age gap to speak of and if she was an EU national I probably would not have any doubts about her at all. She just happens to be from Belarus. As soon as she mentions Belarus I, and apparently some of you too, start thinking negatively about her potential ulterior motives.

Whatever she does for a living she works regular office hours. She says she works as a beautician so that begins to tally. I can get her on the phone evenings and weekends but not during the day Monday to Friday. If she is desperate for EU residency, being British, I would have thought most people would know that I was not the best mule for that. She doesn't know about my Irish citizenship. 

Nonetheless, my "spider-sense" is also tingling so if you want the full SP just ask and I will tell. What I have told you about myself and my involvement in this is true. Can't speak for her though.............

[Ste]

Like others have said best thing is to meet her, a weekend, suggest it to her even if you’ve no real intention yet.

If she starts umming and aaahing it probs cos all isn’t kosher...

[htrj]

I already thought of that and suggested meeting her, no umming or ahhing from her side at all. Just her phone number and a "give me ring when youre in town" type of response.

I will meet her, but Im hoping you guys will arm me with a little more information before I do go down there. What other doubts have you all got? Generally speaking what is the appeal of North European guys to Belarusian girls anyway?

[Ste]

I already thought of that and suggested meeting her, no umming or ahhing from her side at all. Just her phone number and a "give me ring when youre in town" type of response.

I will meet her, but Im hoping you guys will arm me with a little more information before I do go down there. What other doubts have you all got? Generally speaking what is the appeal of North European guys to Belarusian girls anyway?

I’ve no idea, I think I’m right in saying Belorussia is one of the more insular former Soviet countries perhaps the lassies are a bit less worldly. I’m not sure re Northern European etc, doubt they would be aware of any real difference. Would you know a Canadian over a Texan?

[andrewfi]

Well, at the very least we seem to be dealing with people for whom self identification is an issue. That's another good reason to stay clear.

At this point it is worth noting that we are dealing with some kind of fantasist who is trying to backfill. However to give the benefit of the doubt here, if you can pull women you find attractive where you live why would you want to chase some illegal immigrant, swallow her sloppy seconds and take on the product of a union probably designed to create an anchor?

[htrj]

I already thought of that and suggested meeting her, no umming or ahhing from her side at all. Just her phone number and a "give me ring when youre in town" type of response.

I will meet her, but Im hoping you guys will arm me with a little more information before I do go down there. What other doubts have you all got? Generally speaking what is the appeal of North European guys to Belarusian girls anyway?

I’ve no idea, I think I’m right in saying Belorussia is one of the more insular former Soviet countries perhaps the lassies are a bit less worldly. I’m not sure re Northern European etc, doubt they would be aware of any real difference. Would you know a Canadian over a Texan?

Good point, although she claims to recognise a difference between men from Birmingham and men from Barcelona.

Well, at the very least we seem to be dealing with people for whom self identification is an issue. That's another good reason to stay clear.

At this point it is worth noting that we are dealing with some kind of fantasist who is trying to backfill. However to give the benefit of the doubt here, if you can pull women you find attractive where you live why would you want to chase some illegal immigrant, swallow her sloppy seconds and take on the product of a union probably designed to create an anchor?

This is exactly why I signed up for this forum. I have my doubts about her, but how much is my assumption, possible prejudice and how much is founded? Also, please don't forget that although I can pull birds here in the UK im not planning on staying here much longer and having read a little about how Belarusians make good wives and lovers etc I begin to wonder how much of it is true and how much is schpiel.

Something else has just crossed my mind. She told me that she was born in the countryside but went to live with her Grandparents when she was very young. What gives me the idea she went to her Grandparents during the summer of 1986? Has anyone got a Geiger counter I can borrow?

[AvHdB]

To look at it in another light, the next relationship, with ms. Spainobelarus, could be a so-called rebound relationship.

You are dealing with that element called woman, not entirely sure where it is on the periodic table but it is elusive. Sometimes toxic, other times quixotic, mostly frustrating and sometimes just wonderful.

As for Slavic women do not shake hands across a threshold, do not pick up change on the street and any flowers you give must be an odd number.

As for lovers and sexual partners, how good are you with your hands? If not your partner than for your self?

[htrj]

"If not your partner than for your self?"

Not with you.. What have I done to provoke that?

[AvHdB]

Something else has just crossed my mind. She told me that she was born in the countryside but went to live with her Grandparents when she was very young. What gives me the idea she went to her Grandparents during the summer of 1986? Has anyone got a Geiger counter I can borrow?

Depends how far south and east her babushka was. But a Geiger counter will not detect radiation poisoning almost 30 years after the fact.

As noted elsewhere Rosco if he cares to join the thread will be a better source for information. Cancer rates due to the Chernobyl remains a serious problem for Belarus and Ukraine. In Ukraine there remains active blood testing for much of the North.

"If not your partner than for your self?"from AvHdB

Not with you.. What have I done to provoke that?

Bear in mind a sense of humour is essential in this endeavour. There is the qoute I believe W. Allen. 'Sex is like bridge, either you better have a good partner or a good hand.'

[Ste]

When I worked on a nuclear power plant we had gammacoms for real time micro sievert counts and wore a film badge that would tell you how much dose you’d had, after it was too late to do anything about it...

[Contrarian]

Yes, I am British, living in England, soon be living in Spain. Post Brexit I hope to be doing that using my dual Irish, and therefore European, citizenship. I have a fair grasp of Spanish having lived there previously and also I have a Bolivian client here that I speak to in Spanish weekly. To say "Latino" is not necessarily an Americanism, but it is how my client refers to herself (Latina) and how my Belarusian friend refers to her neighbours. Its just a noun that I have become used to using.

In a nutshell I have encountered someone I like who appears interested in me. There is no age gap to speak of and if she was an EU national I probably would not have any doubts about her at all. She just happens to be from Belarus. As soon as she mentions Belarus I, and apparently some of you too, start thinking negatively about her potential ulterior motives.

Whatever she does for a living she works regular office hours. She says she works as a beautician so that begins to tally. I can get her on the phone evenings and weekends but not during the day Monday to Friday. If she is desperate for EU residency, being British, I would have thought most people would know that I was not the best mule for that. She doesn't know about my Irish citizenship. 

Nonetheless, my "spider-sense" is also tingling so if you want the full SP just ask and I will tell. What I have told you about myself and my involvement in this is true. Can't speak for her though.............

Moby?