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Author Topic: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides  (Read 554 times)

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Offline Sandman

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Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« on: January 02, 2017, 05:44:32 PM »
What's up guys. The name Dan. I'm a 35-year-old guy that had an unfortunate snowboarding accident 2006 in the mountains of Montana. I'm a fairly attractive guy who takes care of things pretty well considering I broke my neck and I'm paralyzed mostly from the shoulders down. I have a limited use of my left arm. Several friends and family members have suggested trying to find a relationship within Eastern European or Asian women. I am definitely more attracted to Eastern European idea. I am looking for advice and stories from some of you gentlemen that have had some experience dating Eastern European women. And not to sound like a cheap ass, and I know it can get relatively expensive, but I don't have a ton of money to make a lot of visits. I'm not looking for one of them to take care of me, I manage my own staff of caregivers. I am really looking for someone for the long-term partnership and as a lover. So let's start firing out some advice.

Offline Texan77

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2017, 08:24:36 PM »
I thought about this for a while. Personally I think you should not try this. There is a very high chance that you end up being taken advantage of. Eastern European women's marriage to westerners has a low success rate when every thing is normal. Understand once you bring her the USA and get married she has no reason to stay with you. You could have to support her for ten years because you brought her into the country while she finds the man of her dreams. Even if your neck was not broke you need to afford a lot of trips to be sure you really know your girl before you bring her here. This is not an easy way to find a woman for anybody.


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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2017, 08:40:10 PM »
I thought about this for a while. Personally I think you should not try this. There is a very high chance that you end up being taken advantage of. Eastern European women's marriage to westerners has a low success rate when every thing is normal. Understand once you bring her the USA and get married she has no reason to stay with you. You could have to support her for ten years because you brought her into the country while she finds the man of her dreams. Even if your neck was not broke you need to afford a lot of trips to be sure you really know your girl before you bring her here. This is not an easy way to find a woman for anybody.

 :thumbsup: 

Plus he says he doesn't have the money to make a lot of visits.  Even without the health problems that is a no go right there.



Online rosco

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2017, 05:57:32 AM »
Welcome to the board Sandman and great to have another guy the same age as me!  ;D

First of all, I applaud you for being proactive and embracing the pursuit. It's challenging enough to find the right person being able bodied never mind with a physical disability. It can be done though.....

With the very little I know about you, I feel that looking for a partner in Eastern Europe isn't likely to yield the results you want. Yes scamming can happen to the naive but in my opinion your biggest challenge is that slavic society isn't overly disabled friendly. Most obvious is the lack of access we have become used to in the west but most importantly the man generally plays the role of provider in a relationship. At least that's how I portray this situation from my own experience.

I'm maybe being a little blunt here so apologies if my writings come across all wrong but I personally wouldn't want to set you up for an expensive goose chase. Genuine women looking abroad for love these days, are looking for someone to provide stability, protection and support above the basic chemistry. Even if you can offer this to one lucky lady, I'm guessing that most will find it hard to buy into given your current circumstances. This doesn't make them bad, cold people but it's just how I portray the general culture. And for the avoidance of doubt (and its maybe something that hasn't crossed your mind) genuine ladies from that part of the world are in the main, pretty comfortable and wont marry just for a passport - at least not these days.

I have no experience of Asia but I'm guessing you'll have better chances finding a woman willing to relocate, offer her love and assist you. All very general stuff I know and you only need that one special lady to fall in love with you, but I don't think the FSU will offer you the best chance you're hoping for.

Best of luck in the search and feel free to hang around for fun rather than just fact finding.  :thumbsup:

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2017, 07:37:36 AM »
Sandman, A good 2017 & Welcome to RUA,

Considering a number of factors lack of serious funds and physical disability as primary reasons. I tend to doubt you can be successful unless you are willing to consider someone from the former Soviet Union who also has a handicap/disability. If you seek a 'smokin hot ova', you will most likely get burnt. Bear in mind while the situation in the fSU is improving the countries lag far behind The United States and Western Europe in how friendly they are to 'limited mobility persons'. Said in another way it sucks here if you are stuck in a wheel chair.

One plus you have is that you do not seem to have a mental handicap/disability. I suspect some of the more senior members have seen this all to often.

If you want to consider this adventure further read some of the Trip Reports, as well as what is in the so-called Train Wreck board. Ask questions and you will get a variety of opinions, sort through and figure out what is best for you.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline redroo

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2017, 07:51:39 AM »
Dan,

Welcome.
I work in health, and have met many young men like yourself. Good mind and attitude but stuffed body.
Young, healthy girls, wanting a family do not normally approach guys like yourself on websites or in casual meetings/dates. You know this. Every (single) Paraplegic guy I have seen marry in Australia or Russia, was either already in a relationship prior to the accident/incident and she "stood by him"....or.....the woman was a nurse or carer that over a long period of time fell in love with the personality and mind. That is not to say it doesn't happen, but you know the odds.
I fear you will get eaten alive and be left heart broken and poorer, especially since you state you have not much in the way of funds to travel and spend time with any eastern woman in her own environment. You deserve better than that after the cards you have been dealt.
Do these friends and relatives that suggest such a possibility have any experience in Eastern Europe/Ukraine/Russia? What reasons did they give you for such a suggestion?
Like my others above, I do not wish to be harsh, but I would NEVER advice a close friend, or relative of mine, in your situation to look "East".
In regards to Asian girls, as a frequent visiter to this part of the world I have often seen girls caring for, and living with men who have some level of life challenge. There are a number of wheelchair bound European men living in Pattaya and Manilla for example who have lovers/wives. I point out that the men live there! I have not seen a successful match like this in Australia, (where an imported girl will use the guy as a "mule", and leave as soon as she gets permanant residency).
Is it a possibility for you to go live out there for awhile? Not that Thailand is great for wheelchair access, but as I say I have seen guys doing it.
Good luck man. Everybody deserves love.

Offline Gipsy

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2017, 08:03:36 AM »
Dan,

Welcome.
I work in health, and have met many young men like yourself. Good mind and attitude but stuffed body.
Young, healthy girls, wanting a family do not normally approach guys like yourself on websites or in casual meetings/dates. You know this. Every (single) Paraplegic guy I have seen marry in Australia or Russia, was either already in a relationship prior to the accident/incident and she "stood by him"....or.....the woman was a nurse or carer that over a long period of time fell in love with the personality and mind. That is not to say it doesn't happen, but you know the odds.
I fear you will get eaten alive and be left heart broken and poorer, especially since you state you have not much in the way of funds to travel and spend time with any eastern woman in her own environment. You deserve better than that after the cards you have been dealt.
Do these friends and relatives that suggest such a possibility have any experience in Eastern Europe/Ukraine/Russia? What reasons did they give you for such a suggestion?
Like my others above, I do not wish to be harsh, but I would NEVER advice a close friend, or relative of mine, in your situation to look "East".
In regards to Asian girls, as a frequent visiter to this part of the world I have often seen girls caring for, and living with men who have some level of life challenge. There are a number of wheelchair bound European men living in Pattaya and Manilla for example who have lovers/wives. I point out that the men live there! I have not seen a successful match like this in Australia, (where an imported girl will use the guy as a "mule", and leave as soon as she gets permanant residency).
Is it a possibility for you to go live out there for awhile? Not that Thailand is great for wheelchair access, but as I say I have seen guys doing it.
Good luck man. Everybody deserves love.

+1...

Online andrewfi

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2017, 10:23:35 AM »
I think that those who advised you to seek a woman from an alien culture did so from a total lack of knowledge and possibly based upon watching a few night time infomercials - all of which are based in profitably selling an unrealistic dream to lonely onanists.

You have been told a load of good reasons why this won't work but to put an objective match under the funeral pyre of your desires think on this:

Back  in the days when there was a viable mail order bride business it was reckoned that a bloke had a 5% chance of landing some foreign bint. That was in a viable market with willing women and, relatively, able bodied blokes.

You already know of the difficulties of finding a relationship with women from within your own peer group. How much LESS likely do you think that is going to be in a situation where you share no language, social background or culture?

When you have figured that out, divide the number you come up with by another five to reflect the reality that very, very, few healthy, viable, women from the FSU want to marry a foreign bloke from the USA.

Best bet: concentrate upon your own peer group and accept that it will be very tough going to find a life partner from even the easiest group - women who share culture, language and social background.

To be honest I can't see what you want to do in any other way than as a permanent member of your care team and thus I find it hard to imagine any normal, viable, woman being any different.

I will never have the advantages of youth and good looks and you'll never have the advantage of mobility. For both of us our shortcomings present challenges.

"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

Online Confederate

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2017, 12:22:03 PM »
In regards to Asian girls, as a frequent visiter to this part of the world I have often seen girls caring for, and living with men who have some level of life challenge. There are a number of wheelchair bound European men living in Pattaya and Manilla for example who have lovers/wives. I point out that the men live there! I have not seen a successful match like this in Australia, (where an imported girl will use the guy as a "mule", and leave as soon as she gets permanant residency).
Is it a possibility for you to go live out there for awhile? Not that Thailand is great for wheelchair access, but as I say I have seen guys doing it.
Good luck man. Everybody deserves love.

I see this as the only real option, and notice he makes it clear that you would want to re-locate to Asia.  Risking bringing back a "gold digger" who would use you as a "mule" is simply not worth it.

Offline Manny

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2017, 12:40:34 PM »
I think that those who advised you to seek a woman from an alien culture did so from a total lack of knowledge and possibly based upon watching a few night time infomercials - all of which are based in profitably selling an unrealistic dream to lonely onanists.

You have been told a load of good reasons why this won't work but to put an objective match under the funeral pyre of your desires think on this:

Back  in the days when there was a viable mail order bride business it was reckoned that a bloke had a 5% chance of landing some foreign bint. That was in a viable market with willing women and, relatively, able bodied blokes.

You already know of the difficulties of finding a relationship with women from within your own peer group. How much LESS likely do you think that is going to be in a situation where you share no language, social background or culture?

When you have figured that out, divide the number you come up with by another five to reflect the reality that very, very, few healthy, viable, women from the FSU want to marry a foreign bloke from the USA.

Best bet: concentrate upon your own peer group and accept that it will be very tough going to find a life partner from even the easiest group - women who share culture, language and social background.

To be honest I can't see what you want to do in any other way than as a permanent member of your care team and thus I find it hard to imagine any normal, viable, woman being any different.

I will never have the advantages of youth and good looks and you'll never have the advantage of mobility. For both of us our shortcomings present challenges.

You know a woman who married such a chap. Were they unique factors in that relationship that dont apply here?

Online andrewfi

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2017, 02:45:54 PM »
Yeah, the bloke died.

The bloke did not provide for her after his death.

The bloke left her up shit creek.

Sensible women would not be well served to emulate this example.

Fortunately she is a fighter and now has a successful business and life - no thanks to the dead bloke.

That kind of case is what would educate the sensible woman to avoid such a possibility.

"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

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Re: Paralyzed guy needs advice on Russian brides
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2017, 03:56:30 PM »
So let's start firing out some advice.

One other practical item is that the FSU is absolutely NOT "ADA-compliant", as it were.  Maybe there is a nod to the disabled in Moscow or Kyiv, but it's rare for there to be even basic things like curb cuts, etc.  Plus there will be random bits that don't line up right because....Slavic architecture.  It's really a pain in the zhopa.

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