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Author Topic: Russian Mothers  (Read 7678 times)

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Offline Manny

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #25 on: July 21, 2016, 04:38:23 PM »
Making sure that he receives the support of his state is the sensible thing to do.

There are two sides to the story though.

Does she and her child not equally deserve the protection of their state?

A bloke I know did the "my kids won't have a Russian passport" shouty thing (against my advice). She called the embassy who told her they dont need his permission to give the kids Russian citizenship under the new rules as one parent is a Russian national and it is a given. When told that, he calmed down, and they are still (just) together. He wound his neck in and made a half-arsed effort to save the relationship. His kids are still in the UK.
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Offline TomT

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #26 on: July 21, 2016, 06:17:42 PM »
and it makes this situation even more unfortunate. But I have seized my child's passport to prevent her to take the child to Russia.

I talked to a lawyer and he said that this was the right thing to do because chances are that I may never see my child again if she goes to Russia. Many Finnish men have lost their children in this horrible way . So remember to never let your Russian wife to take care of the child's passport.

Americans who are reading this should be aware that this would be criminal in the United States. Here, only the courts have the right to withhold a passport to prevent flight.

Offline SOUTHERN X

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #27 on: July 21, 2016, 06:19:59 PM »
Rob

If a FSU women truly  loves you she will go through hell to stick with you

She will only leave once she has  determined ''you ''are not to be trusted /respected and in her mind the relationship cannot be saved ime

Think about what it is that may have caused her  to reach those conclusions mate

SX


Offline Gipsy

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #28 on: July 22, 2016, 01:04:56 AM »
Rob,

The best advice that anyone can give you is for you both to seek counselling and see if your marriage can be saved, if this fails, then both of you should engage lawyers...
Bridge is a lot like sex, either you need a good partner, or a decent hand... Woody Allen

Online andrewfi

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #29 on: July 22, 2016, 02:08:47 AM »
Manny, the family is in Finland. Finnish Law and practice prevails.

Finland is not the same as the UK or USA. This is not the first time such concerns have been raised and not the first time Finnish parents have been concerned about losing their children.

Oh,  hopeful dreamers (losers) once trust has gone from a relationship such that a genuine concern is that the kids might be kidnapped do you REALLY think a bit of talking therapy is going to make roses bloom, kittens play with puppies and non existent love be kindled from nothingness?
Be sensible, employ the little grey cells please.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline rosco

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #30 on: July 22, 2016, 03:56:49 AM »
Hi Rob,

If you think the story starts with the gaming flat head, then you've got problems. You entered a messy relationship and it reads like a train wreck. This is down to your relationship with your wife and nothing else, not the mother in law and certainly not the chef.

With regards to your original question - no, Russian women don't do everything their mothers say. My wife certainly doesn't. It sounds like your relationship is broken and this is a fabricated story to justify a way out. Unless you're living on the streets, a solid relationship would endure a bit of hardship.

Just my opinion here but I can't for the life of me understand why any grown man would manoeuvre themselves into such a mess? At what point did it sound like a good idea to get involved in such a drama?

Offline Steveboy

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #31 on: July 22, 2016, 10:21:02 AM »
Rob,

The best advice that anyone can give you is for you both to seek counselling and see if your marriage can be saved, if this fails, then both of you should engage lawyers...

Do you mean like on the Jeramy Kyle show?

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq6W9je0X7mYG48Wu6BfLeA
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Offline Manny

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #32 on: July 22, 2016, 12:46:04 PM »
Manny, the family is in Finland. Finnish Law and practice prevails.

If she gets to neighbouring Russia, and they are both Russian citizens, Russian law prevails and the Finnish nationality is disregarded.
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Offline Rob7

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #33 on: July 22, 2016, 01:36:25 PM »
Making sure that he receives the support of his state is the sensible thing to do.

There are two sides to the story though.

Does she and her child not equally deserve the protection of their state?

A bloke I know did the "my kids won't have a Russian passport" shouty thing (against my advice). She called the embassy who told her they dont need his permission to give the kids Russian citizenship under the new rules as one parent is a Russian national and it is a given. When told that, he calmed down, and they are still (just) together. He wound his neck in and made a half-arsed effort to save the relationship. His kids are still in the UK.

My wife once said to me that she 'd probably had died of malnutrition if she had not met me, no one would help her there not her mother and not her sister. In Russia there is no help for those who are without money and you can not even trust your own relatives . So I will take the necessary measures to prevent the child to go to Russia because my wifes  mother and sister are completely mad dash . They will do anything for money

Offline Gipsy

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #34 on: July 22, 2016, 01:52:23 PM »
Making sure that he receives the support of his state is the sensible thing to do.

There are two sides to the story though.

Does she and her child not equally deserve the protection of their state?

A bloke I know did the "my kids won't have a Russian passport" shouty thing (against my advice). She called the embassy who told her they dont need his permission to give the kids Russian citizenship under the new rules as one parent is a Russian national and it is a given. When told that, he calmed down, and they are still (just) together. He wound his neck in and made a half-arsed effort to save the relationship. His kids are still in the UK.

My wife once said to me that she 'd probably had died of malnutrition if she had not met me, no one would help her there not her mother and not her sister. In Russia there is no help for those who are without money and you can not even trust your own relatives . So I will take the necessary measures to prevent the child to go to Russia because my wifes  mother and sister are completely mad dash . They will do anything for money

Is it your child??
Bridge is a lot like sex, either you need a good partner, or a decent hand... Woody Allen

Online andrewfi

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #35 on: July 22, 2016, 02:44:42 PM »
Manny, the family is in Finland. Finnish Law and practice prevails.

If she gets to neighbouring Russia, and they are both Russian citizens, Russian law prevails and the Finnish nationality is disregarded.

So, now you understand why he needs to take action now, yes?
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online AvHdB

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #36 on: July 22, 2016, 02:45:46 PM »
My wife once said to me that she 'd probably had died of malnutrition if she had not met me, no one would help her there not her mother and not her sister. In Russia there is no help for those who are without money and you can not even trust your own relatives . So I will take the necessary measures to prevent the child to go to Russia because my wifes  mother and sister are completely mad dash . They will do anything for money

There are usually two sides to each story.

But if the picture you paint is true than it should be possible to obtain sole custody with some cash.

I am not suggesting that you should deprive the child of contact from the mother but rather you are the primary care giver.

My own personal opinion your 'wife' sounds highly dysfunctional, but usually likes attract. I would seek some counseling. It can not hurt.

Is the child issue from your marriage?
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Manny

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #37 on: July 22, 2016, 05:16:06 PM »
Manny, the family is in Finland. Finnish Law and practice prevails.

If she gets to neighbouring Russia, and they are both Russian citizens, Russian law prevails and the Finnish nationality is disregarded.

So, now you understand why he needs to take action now, yes?

The action he needs to take is conversation.

She can flee to Russia anytime she wants. With or without him. Plenty of girl forums in Russian will show her how.

Talk is cheaper than lawyers.
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Online AvHdB

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #38 on: July 22, 2016, 06:06:42 PM »
Manny, the family is in Finland. Finnish Law and practice prevails.

If she gets to neighbouring Russia, and they are both Russian citizens, Russian law prevails and the Finnish nationality is disregarded.

So, now you understand why he needs to take action now, yes?

The action he needs to take is conversation.

She can flee to Russia anytime she wants. With or without him. Plenty of girl forums in Russian will show her how.

Talk is cheaper than lawyers.

While I concur with Andy this relationship is over. Manny is saying you can still maintain dialogue. I would not build any walls and try to stay positive and in contact with/towards the mother.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Rob7

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #39 on: July 23, 2016, 03:19:39 AM »
Hi Rob,

If you think the story starts with the gaming flat head, then you've got problems. You entered a messy relationship and it reads like a train wreck. This is down to your relationship with your wife and nothing else, not the mother in law and certainly not the chef.

With regards to your original question - no, Russian women don't do everything their mothers say. My wife certainly doesn't. It sounds like your relationship is broken and this is a fabricated story to justify a way out. Unless you're living on the streets, a solid relationship would endure a bit of hardship.

Just my opinion here but I can't for the life of me understand why any grown man would manoeuvre themselves into such a mess? At what point did it sound like a good idea to get involved in such a drama?

I have never wanted drama in my life. But I had no choice but to try women from other countries because we have this uber feminism thing going on in our country; and it is almost impossible to find any woman who is not extreme feminist or take drugs .

First I thought of women from Thailand but it will be very long and expensive trips there . So then I tried with russian women instead and I was very happy that at least they did not smoke cannabis or had some strange feminist ideas . So I can not complain , I at least got more experience than I would have if I would have continued dating Finnish women. But I did not think it would end like this , I just wanted a normal relationship that's all

Online andrewfi

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #40 on: July 23, 2016, 04:45:42 AM »
Hmmm... Manny, Finland is not like the UK.

You might have asked me 'why tell the police'? Had you done so I'd have told you about how doing so starts a process that makes sure that, even with a passport, the mother can not easily take the child across the border to Russia. Sure there's ways for a mother to avoid the need for a passport or identity checks, but then anything can be attained by a person sufficiently motivated.
 
The Finns have a history of being rather proactive in cases of attempted, and real, child abductions across to Russia. In part, as a response to these issues Russia has now set up child custody courts and taken up the Hague Convention on Abduction. See the Rantala and Salonen cases in Finland.

Informing the police of one's concerns does not end discussions or negotiations, more likely it focuses them and brings them to a more realistic level. My guess is that the police will have a chat with our hero, the kid's name and ID info will go onto a register and Rob will be told to not be such a worrywart and to sort out his marriage issues.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rob, I was only a few years in Finland, however I very much liked that women and men had equality in pretty much every aspect of life. I certainly did not ever find that equality caused any problems in building relationships. Indeed, for a man with social skills, Finnish women are great.

If you are seeking out some kind of subservient relationship with some foreign woman then you will fail and deserve to do so.

I was not joking when I suggested getting some kind of therapy to assist you in learning how to initiate and manage relationships. Your problem is, at root, a man in mirror problem, not a problem with any other person.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Wiz

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #41 on: July 23, 2016, 06:21:43 AM »
I noticed that most of the people here are talking about a troublesome relationship of Roby and for some reason the life and future of the child is not been discussed. My understanding is that the child it's his and that he married a very desperate woman, looking for an escape of very nonsupporting family back in Russia. Not a good basis for a good relationship.

The information we have is one sided and very limited so nobody can make an accurate judgement and offer suggestions.

What is important is we focus our attention to the child’s predicament.

Can we ask Rob7 to give more information about their life, relationship and whatever he thinks is appropriate, so we can try and understand more clearly the situation.

I agree with Manny that they must start talking……and maybe they will find a reasonable solution.

I was divorced from my ex-English wife, with whom we had 2 sons, back in 1981. When we realised our relationship was over, we had a serious talk and agreed in everything. She had some reservations of me taking the kids on Holiday to Greece, because the law does not permit a wife to take her children out of the country without the written permission of the father.  That was quickly resolved, when I remind her of my stupid mistake, not to give her my written permission to fly back to the UK, to give birth to our second son, which cost us another ticket, as she was stopped at the Athens airport. After my first holiday with my sons in Corfu…. Everything has worked fine and we have been with my sons in many other places and my-ex knew that I would never try to take my sons away from her, without her knowledge and agreement.

The final result is that I never had a problem from her, visiting my sons, or them coming and staying with me during the Christmas period and we are still very good friends and talk and meet frequently. Most importantly our sons never had any psychological problems.  When I introduced her to my current Russian wife, she made her feel very comfortable and they become very friendly. Family Christmas, christenings etc, we are all together.

I hope this info can help Rob to find an amicable solution for the sake of the child.
Why the sun does not shine on the Ex- British Empire Anymore? Because God never trusted an Englishman in the dark!

Online AvHdB

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #42 on: July 23, 2016, 06:51:33 AM »
Rob, as is the situation with Wiz I also have followed the same path. Try to maintain a dialogue with the mother. It makes for less stress and healthy (more or less) a child as he/she matures.

As has been suggested find counseling, if funds are a problem perhaps via the church.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Rob7

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Re: Russian Mothers
« Reply #43 on: July 23, 2016, 01:05:42 PM »
Hmmm... Manny, Finland is not like the UK.

You might have asked me 'why tell the police'? Had you done so I'd have told you about how doing so starts a process that makes sure that, even with a passport, the mother can not easily take the child across the border to Russia. Sure there's ways for a mother to avoid the need for a passport or identity checks, but then anything can be attained by a person sufficiently motivated.
 
The Finns have a history of being rather proactive in cases of attempted, and real, child abductions across to Russia. In part, as a response to these issues Russia has now set up child custody courts and taken up the Hague Convention on Abduction. See the Rantala and Salonen cases in Finland.

Informing the police of one's concerns does not end discussions or negotiations, more likely it focuses them and brings them to a more realistic level. My guess is that the police will have a chat with our hero, the kid's name and ID info will go onto a register and Rob will be told to not be such a worrywart and to sort out his marriage issues.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rob, I was only a few years in Finland, however I very much liked that women and men had equality in pretty much every aspect of life. I certainly did not ever find that equality caused any problems in building relationships. Indeed, for a man with social skills, Finnish women are great.

If you are seeking out some kind of subservient relationship with some foreign woman then you will fail and deserve to do so.

I was not joking when I suggested getting some kind of therapy to assist you in learning how to initiate and manage relationships. Your problem is, at root, a man in mirror problem, not a problem with any other person.
We were in relationship therapy. And he said the only thing that could save our relationship, is if she completely breaks contact with her mother , but she was not willing to do so . I also heard about a Russian woman whose mother had treated her so badly that she broke contact with her when she moved to Italy but this is very rare.