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Author Topic: Reintroduction  (Read 1403 times)

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Offline Jerash

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Reintroduction
« on: July 12, 2016, 09:29:34 PM »
Hello to all of you on the forum!

I've been happy to find this place although too often I have felt encouraged to indulge in my own negativity, as there is so much negativity going around these chats.

I am turning over a new leaf and I don't have any desire to engage in anymore negative chatter. My special apologies to Andrewfi and the ultra-right wing guy from the U.S.  You sometimes made it too easy for me to write really negative messages, but I apologize for what I have written that wasn't constructive. And to others too. There is very much a "gotchya" mentality here, or so I find, and if you are feeling low, this seems to be a great place to jump on someone when you know they're wrong. This is the first forum I ever participated in. Are other forums like this? If no, is this something for the administrators to note? Well, who knows, I don't know what drives some of you people. Nonetheless, it remains as true as ever it was: idle hands are the devil's playground.

I introduced myself once but only briefly.

So, to reintroduce myself, since I joined this forum over a year ago, I traveled once to Kiev, once to Croatia, and once to Russia. I also once had and paid for a girl to visit me here, in Canada.

All of those trips and visits, add up to three girls. I am still in contact with one of them. With the other two, I had no more interest after a visit, in one case, and in the other, she broke my heart.

Rather than milling about in the shadows, I am happy to give you this accounting.

I am 41. And I find myself at a crossroads. I am on the verge of getting divorced, over 20 months since separation. It should have been very simple, but it has turned into an unnecessary but very real stress. As part of the divorce, we have both filed consumer proposals, which is, in Canada, a near bankruptcy.

I feel like a bunch of difficult things are starting to get behind me and that I am turning the corner. I am lucky to have a decent job. But I am open to anything going forward. The fact is I am looking for a change in my work. And I want to convert all that I have into what I want for my life.

I work for government. I don't feel comfortable discussing it here any further, given that my work has a high public profile.  But I feel done, for now. Or forever. I don't know. But I do have options because of this. I can piss off for awhile without actually losing my job, for example.

I am educated and I have skills. Being in the government though, I don't have a clear idea how they could necessarily transfer into the free market. I am not just a bureaucratic peon, although I am a bureaucrat. I advise Ministers. And I am tired with it.

And I know that I have never seen an "awesome job" profile that featured a bureaucrat, although internally you have no idea how much of that drivel there is.

I lived in Poland for two years. I have also been to Russia a couple of times. The first time I was there for about three months. I know its history having studied it, and it's literature having read it. I know its people and its culture. And I love it! And I know it's history too. (No mistake on the punctuation)

I have been wondering if it might also be the future. I have options, like I said and can maybe make a few bucks online from anywhere in the world.  I'm very seriously considering a move to Russia. Maybe it won't be permanent. And yes, I want to find a good and beautiful wife for a family. Being on the ground strikes me as better than being in the online world. I am not going to lie, I would like to meet my mate and have a family while I still have youth on my side and the vigour to do it.

Under my consumer proposal, I have to anti up an amount I am squirming about for five years. If I go to Russia and drop my income, I would go into bankruptcy and be discharged after 9 months. And then I would face a 1-2 year sponsorship ban for bringing a spouse to Canada.

And that's it. I would love to know about income opportunities in Russia. My main enemy is my fear.

Look guys and gals, do your worst, but please don't be arseholes. I am exposing my whole situation to you and only because I have concluded that on the whole you are decent people here. And I feel like I am in a major cluster :censored:  of a midlife crisis.

I am dealing with the emotional elements and finding myself.  It took some time even to get to that, as I'm sure some of you will immediately recognize. And now I am realizing that I can continue this exercise in the places where I would prefer to find my wife.

I'm throwing this all out there with great apprehension.


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Offline Slumba

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2016, 10:12:52 PM »
I haven't been able to do so yet myself, however, an extended stay in FSU is in my plans.

You should try to see if your skills are transferable to a consultant or part time position.  Take your current salary, divide by 800 or 1000 to get your hourly rate.  That is how much you need to charge to get close to your current level of pay. (Although many now recommend that you bill by a day rate.)

If you want to just chuck it and not be involved in your current field at all, then you will need to plan more.

However another question to consider is, where might you go?  And how much might you spend per month once there?  You can live cheaply there, but if dating and going to concerts/galleries etc. you will need more than survival money.  And what sort of apartment/flat suits you?

Good luck in your future plans.
Anchors Rewoven

Online Markje

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2016, 01:19:49 AM »
To me it sounds like you haven't closed the book totally on your divorce (emotionally) yet.

Do that first , or your FSU trip will fail again.
You can change anything in life, but a BMW only for a BMW
My first trip to my wife: To Evpatoria!
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Offline Steveboy

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2016, 02:06:54 AM »
The world is your oyster and you can do what ever you wish in life. Take the Bull by the horns remove any negative thoughts and do it.. Its as easy as that.

Obviously the easiest option is to find a good women with an apartment and job and move in. Take it from there. It cannot be any easier. ;D

Offline Fashionista

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2016, 03:42:08 AM »
My husband worked for the Canadian government. I am very happy that now he does not. I thought he was about to lose it before he quit couple of years ago. Those were difficult times. Our income is now smaller, but he is happy again. He does gig jobs, including consulting and analytics, and helps me with what I do. We can easily live in Russia on my income alone, but we never seriously considered it. The cost of life in Siberia is approximately half of what it is here, not sure about Moscow or St. Pete, so you do need to earn something. Don't know how your financial situation can affect your decision and I don't know what a foreigner can do in Russia without the language and contacts. Online business?

I had to look up what "consumer proposal" is because I never heard that expression before :). I thought the only plus of a government job is a steady income  :8) Anyways, for us things got a lot better once he got out. It's about quality of life after all, not money.

Offline Annushka

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2016, 02:33:01 PM »
The world is your oyster and you can do what ever you wish in life. Take the Bull by the horns remove any negative thoughts and do it.. Its as easy as that.

Obviously the easiest option is to find a good women with an apartment and job and move in. Take it from there. It cannot be any easier. ;D

Again gigolos?  :innocent:
Women in the countries of the former Soviet Union brought up in the best traditions.
Marry, that means behind her husband. The man in the family breadwinner. The woman - a homemaker. Naturally, for the mutual feelings!

Offline NS1

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2016, 05:26:27 PM »
IMO, sort out your current situation first. Deal with it all.
Short term, go play, have fun and live life. But deal with what is before you
go looking for a women anywhere. While doing this you can educate yourself on
your true options here or anywhere else. at 41 making rash decisions will likely only
make things worse or make your hole far deeper.
“You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”
Malcom X

Offline Steveboy

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2016, 05:37:10 PM »
The world is your oyster and you can do what ever you wish in life. Take the Bull by the horns remove any negative thoughts and do it.. Its as easy as that.

Obviously the easiest option is to find a good women with an apartment and job and move in. Take it from there. It cannot be any easier. ;D

Again gigolos?  :innocent:
Women in the countries of the former Soviet Union brought up in the best traditions.
Marry, that means behind her husband. The man in the family breadwinner. The woman - a homemaker. Naturally, for the mutual feelings!

But any women who loves her man truly would be only to pleased for him to move in with her whilst he gets his feet on the ground , and if that means the man is not going to be the bread winner for a while whilst he sorts himself out so be it  :)
Its the 21st Century now not 1980.. Unfortunately some traditions have to be put aside some times.

Offline Annushka

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2016, 11:57:54 PM »
The world is your oyster and you can do what ever you wish in life. Take the Bull by the horns remove any negative thoughts and do it.. Its as easy as that.

Obviously the easiest option is to find a good women with an apartment and job and move in. Take it from there. It cannot be any easier. ;D

Again gigolos?  :innocent:
Women in the countries of the former Soviet Union brought up in the best traditions.
Marry, that means behind her husband. The man in the family breadwinner. The woman - a homemaker. Naturally, for the mutual feelings!

But any women who loves her man truly would be only to pleased for him to move in with her whilst he gets his feet on the ground , and if that means the man is not going to be the bread winner for a while whilst he sorts himself out so be it  :)
Its the 21st Century now not 1980.. Unfortunately some traditions have to be put aside some times.

I will not tell you for all Odessa (read, as all the Commonwealth of Independent States). ;D

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbaioaiqtK4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbaioaiqtK4</a>

  However, scows full of mullet (read, as there are a bride for every taste and wallet)! :)

Offline Steveboy

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2016, 05:28:22 AM »
The world is your oyster and you can do what ever you wish in life. Take the Bull by the horns remove any negative thoughts and do it.. Its as easy as that.

Obviously the easiest option is to find a good women with an apartment and job and move in. Take it from there. It cannot be any easier. ;D

Again gigolos?  :innocent:
Women in the countries of the former Soviet Union brought up in the best traditions.
Marry, that means behind her husband. The man in the family breadwinner. The woman - a homemaker. Naturally, for the mutual feelings!

But any women who loves her man truly would be only to pleased for him to move in with her whilst he gets his feet on the ground , and if that means the man is not going to be the bread winner for a while whilst he sorts himself out so be it  :)
Its the 21st Century now not 1980.. Unfortunately some traditions have to be put aside some times.

I will not tell you for all Odessa (read, as all the Commonwealth of Independent States). ;D

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbaioaiqtK4" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbaioaiqtK4</a>

  However, scows full of mullet (read, as there are a bride for every taste and wallet)! :)

 :rolleye0009:

Online Bruce Lee

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2016, 07:24:54 AM »
Hello to all of you on the forum!
Hello back tiphat

Good re-intro by the way!!

I'm throwing this all out there with great apprehension.
You shouldn't be too apprehensive, broadly speaking its a good bunch of folks here - normals are generally treated fairly :)

Regards your situation: My advice would echo Mark's - try to get your ducks in order before getting seriously into this thing, it will help to make the journey potentially smoother and hopefully more enjoyable - because don't forget this thing should be fun!!!
If you get a minute check out Bruce's TR - Its not quite finished, however its still a pretty good read IMHO.

If I win the lottery I'll finish it this week if not I'll probably complete it when I retire!!! Until then I hope you enjoy the story so far!

Offline Jerash

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2016, 06:27:19 PM »
Everything is getting sorted out. I have decided to move to Moscow and I can't wait. I am excited and fearful all at the same time. I've got three months to get everything properly lined up.


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Online TomT

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2016, 07:48:22 PM »
FSU women have told me that they are sick to death of married men trying to get involved with them. Until your divorce decree is final, you will be in the position of having to lie about your marital status or doing a lot of explaining to very skeptical women who have heard it all before. Either way, you are compromised.

Offline Jerash

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2016, 09:52:59 PM »
FSU women have told me that they are sick to death of married men trying to get involved with them. Until your divorce decree is final, you will be in the position of having to lie about your marital status or doing a lot of explaining to very skeptical women who have heard it all before. Either way, you are compromised.

I hear what you are saying. And it will be done and dusted.


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Online Markje

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Re: Reintroduction
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2016, 01:51:45 AM »
Godspeed Jerash,

Hope you find your happyness in Moscow, be it in Relationships, personal life, work or whatever it is you're going to seek out there.

And don't forget: Have a lot of fun!

Mark.
You can change anything in life, but a BMW only for a BMW
My first trip to my wife: To Evpatoria!
My road trip to Crimea: Roadtrip to Evpatoria