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Author Topic: Tale of an Abusive Marriage  (Read 33592 times)

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Online andrewfi

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #50 on: April 25, 2016, 10:57:22 AM »
Seems to me that you have two choices:
1) Absent yourself from the kid's life and support by standing order every month through a third party (lawyer/whatever) to insulate yourself from contact.

2) Be as good a remote father as you can be.

I don't think that you want to give up your work and life - and that'd only breed resentment at some point.

The second option above is just a way to pain for you and, probably, emotional blackmail from mother.

You seem well enough recompensed to be able to look after the kid (and by extension the mother) without too much pain for yourself. In your place I think I'd go with option one. Bear in mind that in the UK, for 'normal' marriage breakdowns, most fathers lose contact with their kids after 3 years of divorce anyway. It seems sensible to plan for that eventuality from the outset rather than distract yourself by stabbing yourself in the heart every day - and in the eyeballs when the mother contacts you for 'extras'!
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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #51 on: April 25, 2016, 11:14:38 AM »
Seems to me that you have two choices:
1) Absent yourself from the kid's life and support by standing order every month through a third party (lawyer/whatever) to insulate yourself from contact.

2) Be as good a remote father as you can be.

I don't think that you want to give up your work and life - and that'd only breed resentment at some point.

The second option above is just a way to pain for you and, probably, emotional blackmail from mother.

You seem well enough recompensed to be able to look after the kid (and by extension the mother) without too much pain for yourself. In your place I think I'd go with option one. Bear in mind that in the UK, for 'normal' marriage breakdowns, most fathers lose contact with their kids after 3 years of divorce anyway. It seems sensible to plan for that eventuality from the outset rather than distract yourself by stabbing yourself in the heart every day - and in the eyeballs when the mother contacts you for 'extras'!

Scampo is NOT a nit wit American. I suspect he has looked at his options & understands how this contest will play out. Andrew sums up two options well, though I suspect there is a third option.

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Online andrewfi

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #52 on: April 25, 2016, 11:27:00 AM »
No he is not an idiot.

Sometimes though it is worth hearing other people saying that doing as I outlined is NOT evil. That pragmatism is sometimes the best choice, that FEELZ are not everything.

For the kid, having a decent, well sorted life with an invisible hand that supports it is probably better than a more overt approach from a bloke who can, reasonably, only ever be an intrusion. Sad, but true.
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Offline Manny

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #53 on: April 25, 2016, 11:58:56 AM »
The baby has dual RU/UK citizenship.

Custody is a toughie.  I'm by myself over here, I'm working 60 hrs/week, travelling all over SE Asia between Singapore, KL, Manila, Bangkok and sometimes even further on a weekly basis.  The best the baby can get for day to day care is a Filipina live-in maid, and that's a lottery by itself.  Lots of these ladies are wonderful: one in three or so turn out to be neglectful crooks. That's a risk factor.

Next thing is that the baby has a huge support network in Moscow.  Babushka, Dedushka (who is retired), a loving uncle (who is a really good bloke and very hands on), two sets of great grandparents, and numerous friends within walking distance of their leafy west Moscow area.  A lot of these people are aware that my wife has some issues.   They are neither naive, nor bad folks.  They help out, and they watch.  Babushka is a crazy witch herself but I've seen her interact with the children and she does provide good day to day care.

Other option is that I give up my career, in which case I need to go to the UK and take a huge earnings cut, and I won't be able to undertake my specialisation as an international sales rep any more, so a domestically chained job will further erode income.  I only have my Mum over in the UK, and I can't burden her with childcare.  I've turned it over in my mind many times, and I just don't see a way. 

More things: child psychologists agree that it is immensely harmful to rip an infant away from its mother.  Sure, the baby is at risk of psychological damage with an unstable mum as she matures.  Conversely, what happens when an infant loses contact with its bonded mother?  It can be horrific, it pretty much guarantees serious issues down the road.  Plus she has a sister.  She'd lose her sister, one of her closest attachments.  And I can replace this with what?  Some hired help?

I'd really love to have custody of my girl but it just doesn't seem practical.

You obviously have thought it through already with a level head and come to the only obvious conclusion.

The job remains of nailing the divorce as cheap as possible and securing access rights (if you want them). As they reside in Moscow, I suggest a UK lawyer will be close to useless but with a blue chip price tag.

I think you need a good Moscow lawyer who specialises in marital stuff and speaks English. I am sure someone here will able to point you in the right direction if you wanted. Danchik perhaps, as he lives in Moscow and has many contacts there.
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Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #54 on: April 25, 2016, 12:06:43 PM »
The baby has dual RU/UK citizenship.

Custody is a toughie.  I'm by myself over here, I'm working 60 hrs/week, travelling all over SE Asia between Singapore, KL, Manila, Bangkok and sometimes even further on a weekly basis.  The best the baby can get for day to day care is a Filipina live-in maid, and that's a lottery by itself.  Lots of these ladies are wonderful: one in three or so turn out to be neglectful crooks. That's a risk factor.

Next thing is that the baby has a huge support network in Moscow.  Babushka, Dedushka (who is retired), a loving uncle (who is a really good bloke and very hands on), two sets of great grandparents, and numerous friends within walking distance of their leafy west Moscow area.  A lot of these people are aware that my wife has some issues.   They are neither naive, nor bad folks.  They help out, and they watch.  Babushka is a crazy witch herself but I've seen her interact with the children and she does provide good day to day care.

Other option is that I give up my career, in which case I need to go to the UK and take a huge earnings cut, and I won't be able to undertake my specialisation as an international sales rep any more, so a domestically chained job will further erode income.  I only have my Mum over in the UK, and I can't burden her with childcare.  I've turned it over in my mind many times, and I just don't see a way. 

More things: child psychologists agree that it is immensely harmful to rip an infant away from its mother.  Sure, the baby is at risk of psychological damage with an unstable mum as she matures.  Conversely, what happens when an infant loses contact with its bonded mother?  It can be horrific, it pretty much guarantees serious issues down the road.  Plus she has a sister.  She'd lose her sister, one of her closest attachments.  And I can replace this with what?  Some hired help?

I'd really love to have custody of my girl but it just doesn't seem practical.

You obviously have thought it through already with a level head and come to the only obvious conclusion.

The job remains of nailing the divorce as cheap as possible and securing access rights (if you want them). As they reside in Moscow, I suggest a UK lawyer will be close to useless but with a blue chip price tag.

I think you need a good Moscow lawyer who specialises in marital stuff and speaks English. I am sure someone here will able to point you in the right direction if you wanted. Danchik perhaps, as he lives in Moscow and has many contacts there.
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Offline Anteros

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #55 on: April 25, 2016, 01:09:13 PM »
The baby has dual RU/UK citizenship.

Custody is a toughie.  I'm by myself over here, I'm working 60 hrs/week, travelling all over SE Asia between Singapore, KL, Manila, Bangkok and sometimes even further on a weekly basis.  The best the baby can get for day to day care is a Filipina live-in maid, and that's a lottery by itself.  Lots of these ladies are wonderful: one in three or so turn out to be neglectful crooks. That's a risk factor.

Next thing is that the baby has a huge support network in Moscow.  Babushka, Dedushka (who is retired), a loving uncle (who is a really good bloke and very hands on), two sets of great grandparents, and numerous friends within walking distance of their leafy west Moscow area.  A lot of these people are aware that my wife has some issues.   They are neither naive, nor bad folks.  They help out, and they watch.  Babushka is a crazy witch herself but I've seen her interact with the children and she does provide good day to day care.

Other option is that I give up my career, in which case I need to go to the UK and take a huge earnings cut, and I won't be able to undertake my specialisation as an international sales rep any more, so a domestically chained job will further erode income.  I only have my Mum over in the UK, and I can't burden her with childcare.  I've turned it over in my mind many times, and I just don't see a way. 

More things: child psychologists agree that it is immensely harmful to rip an infant away from its mother.  Sure, the baby is at risk of psychological damage with an unstable mum as she matures.  Conversely, what happens when an infant loses contact with its bonded mother?  It can be horrific, it pretty much guarantees serious issues down the road.  Plus she has a sister.  She'd lose her sister, one of her closest attachments.  And I can replace this with what?  Some hired help?

I'd really love to have custody of my girl but it just doesn't seem practical.

Since the child has an excellent extended family in Moscow (for the most part from your description) you've clearly made the best choice.  Only whether or not you consider a Russian lawyer who speaks fluent English and doing the divorce in Russia still remains undetermined.  This seems to be a very good possibility from what Gypsy, Steve and Manny have posted. 

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #56 on: April 25, 2016, 01:32:09 PM »
I would take a look at expat.ru you will find plenty of legal info there and probably find some good recommendations for lawyers in Moscow. Most of the guys there are living in Moscow..
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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #57 on: April 25, 2016, 01:36:48 PM »
To the OP:

1200 pounds a month is not a king's fortune in Moscow; it's about my monthly nut. As was noted, Russia has no jurisdiction over you in the U.K. or Asia. Furthermore, you have IMO a snowball's chance in hell getting custody of your daughter just considering the amount of traveling you do, much less the "connections' she has (not trying to be a dick, just realistic). You need to know what you're up against.

I have a meeting with a pretty well-connected lawyer friend on Wednesday and I will ask him for some advice on your behalf. He's not a divorce lawyer, but I'm sure he knows one. Will let you know then. 
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Offline Scampo

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #58 on: April 25, 2016, 08:03:48 PM »
To the OP:

1200 pounds a month is not a king's fortune in Moscow; it's about my monthly nut. As was noted, Russia has no jurisdiction over you in the U.K. or Asia. Furthermore, you have IMO a snowball's chance in hell getting custody of your daughter just considering the amount of traveling you do, much less the "connections' she has (not trying to be a dick, just realistic). You need to know what you're up against.

I have a meeting with a pretty well-connected lawyer friend on Wednesday and I will ask him for some advice on your behalf. He's not a divorce lawyer, but I'm sure he knows one. Will let you know then.

Not millionaire money but still good.  A IT professional monthly salary for example, or more than enough for a 3 bedroom apartment in a good area plus some additional living expenses.  Wife will go back to work very soon and she can expect to nearly double that as earned income, so she'll have a very good lifestyle (and incidentally, I'm puzzled what she expects at age 26.  She is very resentful of my higher income despite my explanations that by virtue of being older, I had an extra 10 years of work to achieve it).  Yeah, life will be tiring and logistically tough for her with work and kids.  Tough luck.  She shouldn't have wrecked a very promising marriage.

I'm happy to pay good wedge for the baby to have a comfortable environment and start in life, and I'm not going into this to pinch pennies, but I need to be fair to myself.

Danchik, if you have a lawyer suggestion, English speaking based MSK, it would be much appreciated.

Thanks all for your comments. 

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #59 on: April 26, 2016, 01:33:11 AM »
A IT professional monthly salary for example,
IT Professional is a very broad occupation.

Its like putting all the Lorry drivers, Taxi drivers, private security drivers and everybody else with likewise occupations as "Professional chauffeur".

I think I can name at least 20 jobs in IT with very different paygrades without thinking too hard.

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Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #60 on: April 26, 2016, 05:06:38 AM »
To the OP:

1200 pounds a month is not a king's fortune in Moscow; it's about my monthly nut. As was noted, Russia has no jurisdiction over you in the U.K. or Asia. Furthermore, you have IMO a snowball's chance in hell getting custody of your daughter just considering the amount of traveling you do, much less the "connections' she has (not trying to be a dick, just realistic). You need to know what you're up against.

I have a meeting with a pretty well-connected lawyer friend on Wednesday and I will ask him for some advice on your behalf. He's not a divorce lawyer, but I'm sure he knows one. Will let you know then.

Not millionaire money but still good.  A IT professional monthly salary for example, or more than enough for a 3 bedroom apartment in a good area plus some additional living expenses.  Wife will go back to work very soon and she can expect to nearly double that as earned income, so she'll have a very good lifestyle (and incidentally, I'm puzzled what she expects at age 26.  She is very resentful of my higher income despite my explanations that by virtue of being older, I had an extra 10 years of work to achieve it).  Yeah, life will be tiring and logistically tough for her with work and kids.  Tough luck.  She shouldn't have wrecked a very promising marriage.

I'm happy to pay good wedge for the baby to have a comfortable environment and start in life, and I'm not going into this to pinch pennies, but I need to be fair to myself.

Danchik, if you have a lawyer suggestion, English speaking based MSK, it would be much appreciated.

Thanks all for your comments.

I understand your situation, and my comments have been based on prior experience, and legal opinion.

I can see where you are coming from, and the difficulties you would face in bringing up a chid on your own, with help from possibly dubious, paid persons, and your concerns as to the psychological damage such an upbringing could have on the child in its future life, apart from the fact, that such a situation will also inhibit your own future.

You should IMHO also consider the upbringing that Russian culture can inflict upon a child, by that I mean, the child, until attaining school age will be brought up by grand/great grand parents for the majority of time, mum will have little to do with this, its normal practice in Russia.

At 26, your, soon to be ex, will wish for her own life back, and be thankful that her parents/grand parents are there to look after both children.

Bringing up a child in Russia is not expensive at all, though, clothes can be especially when the parent insists upon fitting the child out with "Designer gear" just as in the UK.

Your "Ex", will not need a 3 bedroom apartment, 2 bedrooms are more than sufficient for her needs, but I doubt that she will even bother with one, she will rely on her parents using the "Poor me" "Un-wanted" "shunned/spoilt goods" scenario, and their generosity, especially if she is the only child/only daughter/daddies girl/ youngers child.

It is also worth mentioning here, that, if her parents are so well connected, she is going to have a damn good expensive friend of a friend lawyer, and she will most probably try to get you to pay these resulting costs.

You have got to be a more clever person than she is initially, until the divorce is finalised, and NOT IMHO, the Mr Nice guy you are currently portraying, remember the old saying, being cruel to be kind, well, its time for you to be cruel..

Of course, you should first of all get yourself a Russian lawyer, not necessarily one who speaks English, but it is of course a help if he/she does, translators are in abundance, and I suggest that you engage a female lawyer, experience, they tend to perform better in divorce cases than male's again only my opinion.

Moscow lawyers are NOT cheap, and you will also incur your own costs to visit and meet your choice lawyer, + visa, + hotel etc.

My opinion. FWIW.

1, Reduce her monthly payments, by 90%.
2, Get the lawyer.
3, Go for the child, (This will worry her, especially if she knows that you have evidence to support your case, and knowing that a court can order her to take a psychological assessment with a court approved expert) even if you change your mind later and leave the child with her.
4, get a court approved monthly payment, which is as low as possible, you can always give more as and when you wish.
5, Have the monthly payment agreed in sterling, NOT roubles.. (at the moment you are paying £1,200, which is over 100,000r, if this roubles sum is accepted in the court, then it will stay at that, if the £-r ex-rate dropt to £=50r, your monthly commitment is going to near enough double £ wise)( yes, you may be able to get a variation later if needed but the costs of lawyers, court cases etc, etc, will start again).
6, You wish for fixed visitation rights for up to, for example 4 weeks a year, and the child, as it gets older, will be allowed to travel for holidays with you out of the country.
7, All major changes in the child's life (to the age of 18) must be agreed with you.. (e.g. Change of address, medical situations).

HTH and these are where I would recommend that you start from, you may need to compromise on some points to achieve success on others.

Good Luck..

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #61 on: April 26, 2016, 08:08:07 AM »
Scampo,

I am not going to try to tell you what to do.  You are your own man and must make your own decisions.  There are a few points which you should think about -

I presume you were married in the UK?  If so, your wife has a legal right to ask the UK courts to review and amend any divorce settlement - including one made in Russia.  You are very likely to be billed for ALL the legal costs of such a review. I would ask your lawyer about this.

You MUST try to make a final, irrevocable settlement with your ex wife.  One where she explicitly renounces the right to sue for more money in future in respect of her personal needs.  If you need to pay her several thousand now it will be much better than her returning to haunt you in future !

Try to link the child maintenance payments to you having reasonable access to your child.  This is difficult under UK law as you are liable for child maintenance payments whether you have access to the child or not.  However as the child is resident abroad a simple contractual agreement will be more easily enforced.  Again consult your lawyer on this issue.

My first wife was bipolar and she had a drink problem which made it worse.  Like you I found it very difficult to let go of the situation.  It cost me 5 more years of my life before I realized I just had to let go.  Forget about her.  Not my problem anymore.

I suggest to you that you let go sooner rather than later and not follow my example...

Whatever you decide to do.  Good luck and all the best in future.



Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #62 on: April 26, 2016, 08:38:18 AM »
Scampo,

I am not going to try to tell you what to do.  You are your own man and must make your own decisions.  There are a few points which you should think about -

I presume you were married in the UK?  If so, your wife has a legal right to ask the UK courts to review and amend any divorce settlement - including one made in Russia.  You are very likely to be billed for ALL the legal costs of such a review. I would ask your lawyer about this.

You MUST try to make a final, irrevocable settlement with your ex wife.  One where she explicitly renounces the right to sue for more money in future in respect of her personal needs.  If you need to pay her several thousand now it will be much better than her returning to haunt you in future !

Try to link the child maintenance payments to you having reasonable access to your child.  This is difficult under UK law as you are liable for child maintenance payments whether you have access to the child or not.  However as the child is resident abroad a simple contractual agreement will be more easily enforced.  Again consult your lawyer on this issue.

My first wife was bipolar and she had a drink problem which made it worse.  Like you I found it very difficult to let go of the situation.  It cost me 5 more years of my life before I realized I just had to let go.  Forget about her.  Not my problem anymore.

I suggest to you that you let go sooner rather than later and not follow my example...

Whatever you decide to do.  Good luck and all the best in future.

He was married in Cyprus, so his case does not come under UK jurisdiction unless he divorces there..

Under Russian law, once the divorce is finalised she cannot sue later. so no worries about any future redress.

HTH
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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #63 on: April 26, 2016, 08:57:16 AM »

He was married in Cyprus, so his case does not come under UK jurisdiction unless he divorces there..

Under Russian law, once the divorce is finalised she cannot sue later. so no worries about any future redress.

HTH

This is a solid argument for NOT divorcing in UK.

As you said best to divorce in Russia.

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #64 on: April 26, 2016, 09:43:16 AM »


My opinion. FWIW.

1, Reduce her monthly payments, by 90%.
2, Get the lawyer.
3, Go for the child, (This will worry her, especially if she knows that you have evidence to support your case, and knowing that a court can order her to take a psychological assessment with a court approved expert) even if you change your mind later and leave the child with her.
4, get a court approved monthly payment, which is as low as possible, you can always give more as and when you wish.
5, Have the monthly payment agreed in sterling, NOT roubles.. (at the moment you are paying £1,200, which is over 100,000r, if this roubles sum is accepted in the court, then it will stay at that, if the £-r ex-rate dropt to £=50r, your monthly commitment is going to near enough double £ wise)( yes, you may be able to get a variation later if needed but the costs of lawyers, court cases etc, etc, will start again).
6, You wish for fixed visitation rights for up to, for example 4 weeks a year, and the child, as it gets older, will be allowed to travel for holidays with you out of the country.
7, All major changes in the child's life (to the age of 18) must be agreed with you.. (e.g. Change of address, medical situations).

HTH and these are where I would recommend that you start from, you may need to compromise on some points to achieve success on others.

Good Luck..

FFS do NOT listen to Gypo ... concerning reducing payments - I've worn this t-shirt and your kids do not deserve it.

Get legal advice.

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Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #65 on: April 26, 2016, 09:57:48 AM »
Guys,

Please don't think that I am telling the OP what he should do, I'm not, even if my posts are coming across a little strong.

I am advising what he can do in a Russian court, and adding what I would do in this situation.

Some of you may not agree with me, even the OP may not, but I'm talking from an experience of my own.

HTH

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Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #66 on: April 26, 2016, 10:36:05 AM »


My opinion. FWIW.

1, Reduce her monthly payments, by 90%.
2, Get the lawyer.
3, Go for the child, (This will worry her, especially if she knows that you have evidence to support your case, and knowing that a court can order her to take a psychological assessment with a court approved expert) even if you change your mind later and leave the child with her.
4, get a court approved monthly payment, which is as low as possible, you can always give more as and when you wish.
5, Have the monthly payment agreed in sterling, NOT roubles.. (at the moment you are paying £1,200, which is over 100,000r, if this roubles sum is accepted in the court, then it will stay at that, if the £-r ex-rate dropt to £=50r, your monthly commitment is going to near enough double £ wise)( yes, you may be able to get a variation later if needed but the costs of lawyers, court cases etc, etc, will start again).
6, You wish for fixed visitation rights for up to, for example 4 weeks a year, and the child, as it gets older, will be allowed to travel for holidays with you out of the country.
7, All major changes in the child's life (to the age of 18) must be agreed with you.. (e.g. Change of address, medical situations).

HTH and these are where I would recommend that you start from, you may need to compromise on some points to achieve success on others.

Good Luck..

FFS do NOT listen to Gypo ... concerning reducing payments - I've worn this t-shirt and your kids do not deserve it.

Get legal advice.

This coming from you of all people   :ROFL:

The clue is first hand Russian legal advice.

Tell us, just how much of the money is going to be use for his child's upbringing, how much for the other child, and how much is the mum going to use for her own life's desires??

I have also worn the T shirt..
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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #67 on: April 26, 2016, 11:22:54 AM »
Guys,

Please don't think that I am telling the OP what he should do, I'm not, even if my posts are coming across a little strong.

I am advising what he can do in a Russian court, and adding what I would do in this situation.

Some of you may not agree with me, even the OP may not, but I'm talking from an experience of my own.

HTH

What is HTH?
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #68 on: April 26, 2016, 11:26:04 AM »
Guys,

Please don't think that I am telling the OP what he should do, I'm not, even if my posts are coming across a little strong.

I am advising what he can do in a Russian court, and adding what I would do in this situation.

Some of you may not agree with me, even the OP may not, but I'm talking from an experience of my own.

HTH

What is HTH?

Are you admitting that you don't know everything??

Hope This Helps.  :loving:
Bridge is a lot like sex, either you need a good partner, or a decent hand... Woody Allen

Offline Anteros

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #69 on: April 26, 2016, 11:36:13 AM »
Guys,

Please don't think that I am telling the OP what he should do, I'm not, even if my posts are coming across a little strong.

I am advising what he can do in a Russian court, and adding what I would do in this situation.

Some of you may not agree with me, even the OP may not, but I'm talking from an experience of my own.

HTH

What is HTH?

Are you admitting that you don't know everything??

Hope This Helps.  :loving:

 :-*  :laugh:
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline MBS01

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #70 on: April 26, 2016, 03:47:53 PM »
Interesting Read:
One of our former posters here (Paul) forgot his user name on RUA is a lawyer both here and in the FSU!  Mainly business law, but perhaps he knows others into FSU family law too.  From what I recall he has worked both in Canada and Moscow speaks a number of languages including English; French and Russian fluently among others.

Like others he has both an ex-FSU wife and a current FSU wife so he has first hand knowledge of divorce with an FSU lady which took place here in Canada.  He may be a good reference as well.  Good Luck

Offline Manny

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #71 on: April 26, 2016, 03:53:03 PM »
Interesting Read:
One of our former posters here (Paul) forgot his user name on RUA is a lawyer both here and in the FSU!  Mainly business law, but perhaps he knows others into FSU family law too.  From what I recall he has worked both in Canada and Moscow speaks a number of languages including English; French and Russian fluently among others.

Like others he has both an ex-FSU wife and a current FSU wife so he has first hand knowledge of divorce with an FSU lady which took place here in Canada.  He may be a good reference as well.  Good Luck

If you PM me his email I'll take a look and shoot him a log in.
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Offline MBS01

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #72 on: April 26, 2016, 04:19:25 PM »
Interesting Read:
One of our former posters here (Paul) forgot his user name on RUA is a lawyer both here and in the FSU!  Mainly business law, but perhaps he knows others into FSU family law too.  From what I recall he has worked both in Canada and Moscow speaks a number of languages including English; French and Russian fluently among others.

Like others he has both an ex-FSU wife and a current FSU wife so he has first hand knowledge of divorce with an FSU lady which took place here in Canada.  He may be a good reference as well.  Good Luck

If you PM me his email I'll take a look and shoot him a log in.

Done.  Wes.

Offline Manny

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #73 on: April 26, 2016, 04:32:24 PM »
Interesting Read:
One of our former posters here (Paul) forgot his user name on RUA is a lawyer both here and in the FSU!  Mainly business law, but perhaps he knows others into FSU family law too.  From what I recall he has worked both in Canada and Moscow speaks a number of languages including English; French and Russian fluently among others.

Like others he has both an ex-FSU wife and a current FSU wife so he has first hand knowledge of divorce with an FSU lady which took place here in Canada.  He may be a good reference as well.  Good Luck

If you PM me his email I'll take a look and shoot him a log in.

Done.  Wes.

 tiphat

I have emailed the chap. Cheers Wes.   :nod:
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Offline Scampo

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #74 on: April 26, 2016, 10:26:25 PM »
I'm not going to slash payments.  This is uncharted water for me so I need some kind of moral compass to go by, with regards how to treat the payments.  Since I and my child are UK citizens, I decided to go by the UK legal maintenance requirement as a framework.  I need to do it for my own sense of guilt and ethical obligation if nothing else.

Lawyer suggestions gratefully received.  My UK lawyer's intern is from Russia originally and she is also going to suggest someone for me to speak with.

Thanks again.