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Author Topic: Tale of an Abusive Marriage  (Read 14986 times)

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Offline Scampo

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #15 on: April 24, 2016, 09:55:37 AM »
it is not uncommon amongst FSU women.


I do wonder about this.  Many of my wife's friends (mid 20s girls from Moscow and Voronezh) have incredibly unstable and stormy relationships, often involving violence, the tales of which I have rarely heard the like of from the UK.

Western men often feel as though they have won the lottery when a smoking-hot girl comes their way. There is a tendency to think that they will never find such a girl again. They may be right but that would be a good thing.

Personally not worried about the future scarcity issue.  I'm mid-30s, slim, presentable, of decent social skill and very successful.  I think the fact that I'm prime catch material made my wife's neuroses amplify, despite her extraordinary beauty.  Beautiful girls are a dime a dozen in the FSU, and a lot seem very insecure because of their comparative abundance.  God knows I've heard first hand recounts of tubby middle aged Muscovite guys being selective about their second mistresses, just because they have an important connection to some government gobshite. 

In her weaker moments, my wife often admitted that due to her out-of-wedlock child aged 23, she had few marriage options (albeit very many sexual options) at home.

Offline TomT

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2016, 10:08:06 AM »
Beautiful girls are a dime a dozen in the FSU...

The trick is to find a beautiful, sane girl.
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline Maxx

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2016, 11:50:55 AM »


PS  lay off the wine or any form of alcohol -- in excess it's very bad for your mind.  A full bottle of wine is excess -- I think you know it.


And sometimes it is just a sedative that allows you to sleep. You will need your sleep at a time like this.


Online msmoby

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2016, 11:55:16 AM »


And sometimes it is just a sedative that allows you to sleep. You will need your sleep at a time like this.

I t may send you to sleep - but you'll wakeup earlier ...
Russia doesn't have form for making stuff like this up.
He really did say that
Here is my Russophobia/Kremlinphobia topic

Offline Manny

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2016, 12:39:23 PM »


PS  lay off the wine or any form of alcohol -- in excess it's very bad for your mind.  A full bottle of wine is excess -- I think you know it.


And sometimes it is just a sedative that allows you to sleep. You will need your sleep at a time like this.

A bottle of wine is neither here nor there. Several, perhaps.

Why so much child support being sent to Russia at the moment Scampo may I ask? Over a grand a month English seems way excessive as she is in Russia.
please tell me where I'm being / have been 'dishonest'? 
Yes, he said that.........

Offline Scampo

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2016, 07:26:23 PM »

A bottle of wine is neither here nor there. Several, perhaps.

Why so much child support being sent to Russia at the moment Scampo may I ask? Over a grand a month English seems way excessive as she is in Russia.

Everyone has their own attitude to alcohol consumption.  Some people would be shocked at half a bottle a day.  For me, a bottle is the danger threshold.

My lawyer advised that for the moment I should stick with what I'm due to pay under the UK child maintenance calculator, which is about £1200/month.  I have a well-into-six-figure income and now I'm paying average 15% tax so it's not crippling.  Obviously it's a king's bloody ransom in Russia with the current exchange rates.

Offline Omega1982

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2016, 09:38:03 PM »
Is that amount for one child or two, under UK law? 

Offline Scampo

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #22 on: April 24, 2016, 09:58:22 PM »
One.  The calculator is available online - it's 10% of pre-tax income per child, more or less, with an income cap of £150k/year from memory.  I'm not legally liable for my step daughter. 

At point of divorce, it's very unlikely that I would have to pay further for ex-spouse maintenance as it will be classified as a short marriage and she was working most of the way through the relationship except for maternity.

Offline Omega1982

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #23 on: April 24, 2016, 10:10:05 PM »
The figures sound somewhat at par with the US.  I had read here somewhere that UK laws are more fair than US laws regarding divorce and settlements. 

It would be interesting to draw some charts comparing the divorce laws in the Us/UK/EU/RU. 

One of the US laws I completely disagree with is that in the event of a divorce the woman can take 50% of your 401k retirement savings account.  This is a personal retirement account that only the individual contributes to.  So why should the woman be entitled to half of it.  Since pensions in the US have almost entirely become a thing of the past, the 401k account is even more important. 

Offline Anteros

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #24 on: April 24, 2016, 10:32:26 PM »


And sometimes it is just a sedative that allows you to sleep. You will need your sleep at a time like this.

I t may send you to sleep - but you'll wakeup earlier ...

Correct.  Two glasses of red wine -- fine.  Check with any qualified Doctor.  A whole bottle done 3-5 times a week?  Possibly big trouble in the making, IMO.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline Anteros

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #25 on: April 24, 2016, 10:39:03 PM »
The figures sound somewhat at par with the US.  I had read here somewhere that UK laws are more fair than US laws regarding divorce and settlements. 

It would be interesting to draw some charts comparing the divorce laws in the Us/UK/EU/RU. 

One of the US laws I completely disagree with is that in the event of a divorce the woman can take 50% of your 401k retirement savings account.  This is a personal retirement account that only the individual contributes to.  So why should the woman be entitled to half of it.  Since pensions in the US have almost entirely become a thing of the past, the 401k account is even more important.

I am pretty certain that men have the fewest rights in the USA versus probably all countries in the World.  Sugar daddy the government will take care of these women and on top of it the courts still favor the woman in almost all circumstances.

Just look at the bogus "domestic violence" charges brought forward which result in a man losing all normal Constitutional rights.

Now it's happening to young men on college campus's who are falsely accused of rape.  Their lives are completely ruined and it's all done without due process.  No matter when the allegations are proved false, there's a scarlet letter hanging over the guys head. 

In regards to the 401K I agree it's outrageous.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #26 on: April 24, 2016, 10:48:30 PM »
One.  The calculator is available online - it's 10% of pre-tax income per child, more or less, with an income cap of £150k/year from memory.  I'm not legally liable for my step daughter. 

At point of divorce, it's very unlikely that I would have to pay further for ex-spouse maintenance as it will be classified as a short marriage and she was working most of the way through the relationship except for maternity.

Painful reading your story, but one must question as to why you allowed the situation to continue for so long.

Would be interesting to know why you are divorcing her (Presumably) in UK courts?
Bridge is a lot like sex, either you need a good partner, or a decent hand... Woody Allen

Offline Scampo

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #27 on: April 24, 2016, 11:01:51 PM »

Painful reading your story, but one must question as to why you allowed the situation to continue for so long.

Would be interesting to know why you are divorcing her (Presumably) in UK courts?

The situation went on for 10 months, from November 2014 until August 2015.  If she hadn't been pregnant I would have left immediately after the first violent outburst.  I was very torn due to the baby and was trying to rationalise it by hormones.  I'm glad I gave it a chance and tried for a while.  It made me totally sure that walking out was the right thing to do, and it was short enough to mitigate the damage to myself.  God know a decade of that would have left me dead or dying, in likelihood.

There aren't many options for the country of divorce.  I only have a short window left to divorce in the UK due to recent move to Asia.  My tax residency and domicile hasn't changed yet.

Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #28 on: April 24, 2016, 11:10:19 PM »

Painful reading your story, but one must question as to why you allowed the situation to continue for so long.

Would be interesting to know why you are divorcing her (Presumably) in UK courts?

The situation went on for 10 months, from November 2014 until August 2015.  If she hadn't been pregnant I would have left immediately after the first violent outburst.  I was very torn due to the baby and was trying to rationalise it by hormones.  I'm glad I gave it a chance and tried for a while.  It made me totally sure that walking out was the right thing to do, and it was short enough to mitigate the damage to myself.  God know a decade of that would have left me dead or dying, in likelihood.

There aren't many options for the country of divorce.  I only have a short window left to divorce in the UK due to recent move to Asia.  My tax residency and domicile hasn't changed yet.

I would think that its cheaper, easier, and quicker to divorce her in Russian court...
Bridge is a lot like sex, either you need a good partner, or a decent hand... Woody Allen

Offline Gipsy

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Re: Tale of an Abusive Marriage
« Reply #29 on: April 24, 2016, 11:13:16 PM »

Painful reading your story, but one must question as to why you allowed the situation to continue for so long.

Would be interesting to know why you are divorcing her (Presumably) in UK courts?

The situation went on for 10 months, from November 2014 until August 2015.  If she hadn't been pregnant I would have left immediately after the first violent outburst.  I was very torn due to the baby and was trying to rationalise it by hormones.  I'm glad I gave it a chance and tried for a while.  It made me totally sure that walking out was the right thing to do, and it was short enough to mitigate the damage to myself.  God know a decade of that would have left me dead or dying, in likelihood.

There aren't many options for the country of divorce.  I only have a short window left to divorce in the UK due to recent move to Asia.  My tax residency and domicile hasn't changed yet.

Have been out of the UK for the past 8 yrs, and my tax residency has not changed either... ;D
Bridge is a lot like sex, either you need a good partner, or a decent hand... Woody Allen