The Trophy Wife What Is It? and Who Wants One?

[Omega1982]

It is true that the cost of cosmetics, hair dressers, salons and decent clothes is not a cheap hobby. But it is what it costs. If you like the results, cough up.

And there's the rub!

The thing is, sharp looking British women cost exactly the same. I know this, I have been paying salon bills most of my adult life. Add a foxy accent, take off a few kilos and the bill doesn't go up. Women cost money (usually yours) if you want them to look sharp. It doesn't really matter where they are from. Think of it like a utility bill, you want it, you pay for it. Its an ongoing expense its hard to avoid.

The concept of "trophy" is simply perception. What is a reasonable looking wife stood next to one guy would look like a trophy wife stood next to another guy. In many respects it is synonymous with miles out of your league.

Andrew once described relationships as an exchange of value. It is true that if we are lacking something, we may have something else to make up for it. Would you date a woman with a big nose who happened to have killer legs? I bet you would. Because the legs make up for the nose. Same way as a western passport might equate to a ten year age gap. Or a few quid might even out a large stomach. Or a good intellect, or fame, or speaking Russian might even out a guy who is not so handsome.

Men in the MOB sphere often over-value attractiveness and slimness (as it is rare at home among the women in their reach) and overlook character flaws. Why we see so many train wrecks.

Russian women are also better dressed and more feminine. 

Wouldn't the British woman's upkeep be less costly for the man since she can have a good job and career from the moment you meet? 

[NS1]

It is true that the cost of cosmetics, hair dressers, salons and decent clothes is not a cheap hobby. But it is what it costs. If you like the results, cough up.

And there's the rub!

The thing is, sharp looking British women cost exactly the same. I know this, I have been paying salon bills most of my adult life. Add a foxy accent, take off a few kilos and the bill doesn't go up. Women cost money (usually yours) if you want them to look sharp. It doesn't really matter where they are from. Think of it like a utility bill, you want it, you pay for it. Its an ongoing expense its hard to avoid.

The concept of "trophy" is simply perception. What is a reasonable looking wife stood next to one guy would look like a trophy wife stood next to another guy. In many respects it is synonymous with miles out of your league.

Andrew once described relationships as an exchange of value. It is true that if we are lacking something, we may have something else to make up for it. Would you date a woman with a big nose who happened to have killer legs? I bet you would. Because the legs make up for the nose. Same way as a western passport might equate to a ten year age gap. Or a few quid might even out a large stomach. Or a good intellect, or fame, or speaking Russian might even out a guy who is not so handsome.

Men in the MOB sphere often over-value attractiveness and slimness (as it is rare at home among the women in their reach) and overlook character flaws. Why we see so many train wrecks.

Russian women are also better dressed and more feminine. 

Wouldn't the British woman's upkeep be less costly for the man since she can have a good job and career from the moment you meet?

Well thats part of the problems for some guys,
they won't stay home and keep a cosy home.
Harder to control when they are off working and such 

[andrewfi]

Omega, you are, sadly, still believing in advertising propaganda that simply is not true. And YES I know that you have met some women from some parts of the the countries round here but you have not ever spent the time with them. You have only ever seen them dolled specially for you.

Women in these parts are no more feminine than the women in your country. Some of them want to have a rather different life to that which they currently ave and so are happy to create for you an image that you choose to believe in.

Think for a second.

Given that wages around here are much lower per hour than in your country and yet women are just as unlikely to be unmarried, how do you think they manage to pay for this fantasy femininity?

Chances are that the women you met fooled you with fake clothes, borrowed from friends or wore the one good thing they had. Much the same with cosmetics etc.

These women work hard, are independent and do not need a man to support them - but some might like to have a man to support them.
They are just the same as the women in your country - except that the social safety net does not provide for people as well as in some other, more wealthy, countries. Thus they are forced to be more independent and stronger. Not quite the image that you are seeking.

[NS1]

Andrew I will agree with most of that.
But I do believe FSUW have a different outlook towards
husband, family and life. Maybe not all of course.
But most I met and certainly my wife does.

It was once like that here and I am some still have those values,
just much harder to find in these parts.

[msmoby]

The thing is, sharp looking British women cost exactly the same. I know this, I have been paying salon bills most of my adult life.

Actually, they can cost a deal more - if you have had a relationship with 'em and kids..and want to play the family court system..

Add a foxy accent, take off a few kilos and the bill doesn't go up. Women cost money (usually yours) if you want them to look sharp. It doesn't really matter where they are from. Think of it like a utility bill, you want it, you pay for it. Its an ongoing expense its hard to avoid.

Manny and I nearly agree - but wasn't it you that said I was 'foolish' to spend money on a woman who wasn't - yet - my wife  ?  Not bad going for a 'homeless guy without income' 

You totally overlook the trips home,family visits from overseas, visas - emergency trips -illness,etc., It generally costs a lot more to be married to a FSU lady.

The concept of "trophy" is simply perception. What is a reasonable looking wife stood next to one guy would look like a trophy wife stood next to another guy. In many respects it is synonymous with miles out of your league.

Agree - and most for most overweight contributors that 'out your league' tag might apply...

Andrew once described relationships as an exchange of value. It is true that if we are lacking something, we may have something else to make up for it. Would you date a woman with a big nose who happened to have killer legs? I bet you would. Because the legs make up for the nose.

Both my wives have largish noses - I must have a thing for them - and neither had 'killer legs' - your example applies to YOUR 'appealing factors' - it cannot be applied to others. Our reasons for being attracted and wanting to share lives together form the basis of a long-standing relationship and what normally ends a relationship is a situation were one partner breaches that agreement .

Same way as a western passport might equate to a ten year age gap. Or a few quid might even out a large stomach. Or a good intellect, or fame, or speaking Russian might even out a guy who is not so handsome.

Good intellect and speaking the lingo to some degree will undoubtedly help in the quest for a FSU wife - but I think - speaking personally  -that the things that we might overlook as a downer in the 'lust phase ' will grate in marriage... I hear a lot of guys say- 'she married for my passport' - but I find that hard to believe,in most cases- she is trusting the guy to be all he said he'd be.  She has no intention to leave as soon as she can.

Men in the MOB sphere often over-value attractiveness and slimness (as it is rare at home among the women in their reach) and overlook character flaws. Why we see so many train wrecks.

Your mistake is ever quoting any of andrewfi's relationship 'theories' ... and that 'MOB' tag is so mis-used and you give FSU - Western marriages the stigma intended by those who think the way andrewfi does.

The 'needs' of a man woman are pretty obvious and evolve depending on age. Trust and Respect can result in Love and without one or both of the former - the latter WILL die.. The train wreck is when those involved are in the public eye or make their differences public.

I'm not sure one can attribute love to an 'exchange of value' - those 'values' constantly change - what some regard as a marriage made in heaven can go west - and couples who fight like cat and dog become 'the only couple' you know that are still together...



 

[Omega1982]

Omega, you are, sadly, still believing in advertising propaganda that simply is not true. And YES I know that you have met some women from some parts of the the countries round here but you have not ever spent the time with them. You have only ever seen them dolled specially for you.

Women in these parts are no more feminine than the women in your country. Some of them want to have a rather different life to that which they currently ave and so are happy to create for you an image that you choose to believe in.

Think for a second.

Given that wages around here are much lower per hour than in your country and yet women are just as unlikely to be unmarried, how do you think they manage to pay for this fantasy femininity?

Chances are that the women you met fooled you with fake clothes, borrowed from friends or wore the one good thing they had. Much the same with cosmetics etc.

These women work hard, are independent and do not need a man to support them - but some might like to have a man to support them.
They are just the same as the women in your country - except that the social safety net does not provide for people as well as in some other, more wealthy, countries. Thus they are forced to be more independent and stronger. Not quite the image that you are seeking.

I understand and agree with some points.  However I don't agree that the local women do not look feminine and stunning on a daily basis.  Yes, many times I was walking hand in hand with a feminine and beautiful woman through the streets of the fsu.  However most of the other women on the street were equally well dressed and feminine. 

The streets are full of extremely well dressed and feminine women. 
They make less per hour than their western counterparts, but they do more with less. 

[Manny]

Wouldn't the British woman's upkeep be less costly for the man since she can have a good job and career from the moment you meet?

Generally no, as if you want her to look sharp all the time, and be there when you get home, and look after kids, she wont work. It is only poor Americans that factor their wives earning possibilities into their thinking.

Here, with proper blokes, women work if they want to. Not because they need to. A house, husband and kids is a job too. One equally as valuable as a job one gets paid for. Houses don't clean themselves, laundry doesn't do do itself and groceries don't appear in the fridge by magic. Well-groomed kids don't get to school and back again on their own. The full fantasy of "cozy home" usually means the wife not working in a traditional paid job.

[Omega1982]

Wouldn't the British woman's upkeep be less costly for the man since she can have a good job and career from the moment you meet?

Generally no, as if you want her to look sharp all the time, and be there when you get home, and look after kids, she wont work. It is only poor Americans that factor their wives earning possibilities into their thinking.

Here, with proper blokes, women work if they want to. Not because they need to. A house, husband and kids is a job too. One equally as valuable as a job one gets paid for. Houses don't clean themselves, laundry doesn't do do itself and groceries don't appear in the fridge by magic. Well-groomed kids don't get to school and back again on their own. The full fantasy of "cozy home" usually means the wife not working in a traditional paid job.

As always, well said! 

[msmoby]

As always, well said!

Always  ? - But in this case - yes - bang on

[Omega1982]

As always, well said!

Always  ? - But in this case - yes - bang on

Yes, as always.  Manny is an extremely intelligent, articulate individual and a talented writer that knows his craft.  He has a rare capability in that his works are extremely elegant yet they are precise and very logical. 

[Steveboy]

I only posted a link to her photos for the sake of conversation.

... and I deliberately answered your rhetorical question. You are correct about "who knows." In international dating, we usually don't learn all of the details until years after the marriage. (This should give one pause.)

Generally speaking, though, front-page girls are high risk because of the massive amount of attention that they receive. The last thing that their future husband needs to hear is how easily that he could be replaced.

All good points.  Which leads me to believe the best way would be to date an FSU woman from your home pool (if that is the type one prefers) or to simply move to the FSU where one can pick and choose without the compressed time frame.

Moving to a FSU country is defiantly the best option a guy could possibly have. But you should never expect a beautiful women to come cheap in Russia! be prepared to pay for the best face creams, trips to the salon, trips to the beauty clinic for skin treatment , manicures eye brows and a whole list of other things
If your not ready to cough up the money for it there are plenty of local guys willing and able to do so..

[msmoby]

Yes, as always.  Manny is an extremely intelligent, articulate individual and a talented writer that knows his craft.  He has a rare capability in that his works are extremely elegant yet they are precise and very logical.

 

How much did he pay you  ?  You are coming over a little too much like ''All praise Emperor Ming..''  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_Gordon_(film) - in case you don't understand...

[AJ]

Ok lets stir up some further discussion!
 

The general vibe put out is of a semi high maintenance
coiffed trophy wife, with all the right* cosmetics, creams , and manicures!
 Which fits the stereotype of the thread title?

It's a bit amusing to read the threat that if the man doesn't particular concentrate on providing that style of upkeep,  then lookout! someone else will!

 

perhaps true !
but oh my! how scary ! 
 I just hope we'd keep in mind that men are desirable to women for many reasons. Perhaps my over confidence abounds but my least concern ever would be that some woman would choose romeo instead,  because he wanted to clearly provide her upkeep of daily pedicures 
If that's her choice cool! as our life values likely wouldn't mesh well anyway so that's fine.
I know there's a larger picture, beyond the shallowness of manicures, of providing a certain well rounded lifestyle.
 However there's a bigger picture than that of compatible core values on what is  truly important in life.

 Andrew pointed out that the MOB arena might well be looked upon as trophy wife hunting.Seems he isn't far off  the mark then?

He also started that FSU women generally  just aren't  that different,and dress to impress the incoming visitor to give a different perception at the time.

Having lived in EE, I think he is generally right.
 I do however  think there is a fashion difference in various cultures which can't be quite so easily dismissed.
 Thing is, I don't think its nearly as different as projected, and with normal  assimilation you'd expect an individual to adopt the fashion of the country of residence.

[NS1]

Fashion is different in Europe period. All you have to do is look around any airport.
The different is astounding, Now when you are in US or Canada take a look and it
is sad indeed. My wife takes car of herself and likes all that stuff, but certainly not what makes her tick. All you need is to see her in the garden after a manicure
to understand that. But AJ raises a good point.

Remember if you look for it, you can find it, becareful what you look for

[Ste]

I only posted a link to her photos for the sake of conversation.

... and I deliberately answered your rhetorical question. You are correct about "who knows." In international dating, we usually don't learn all of the details until years after the marriage. (This should give one pause.)

Generally speaking, though, front-page girls are high risk because of the massive amount of attention that they receive. The last thing that their future husband needs to hear is how easily that he could be replaced.

All good points.  Which leads me to believe the best way would be to date an FSU woman from your home pool (if that is the type one prefers) or to simply move to the FSU where one can pick and choose without the compressed time frame.

Moving to a FSU country is defiantly the best option a guy could possibly have.

Not if you are in your fifties, two of my better half's uncles dead at 55, one vodka, one just wasted away, big strong man from Kavkas, 12 months later, thin and drawn, then dead. Health care very poor unless private.

[msmoby]

Not if you are in your fifties, two of my better half's uncles dead at 55, one vodka, one just wasted away, big strong man from Kavkas, 12 months later, thin and drawn, then dead. Health care very poor unless private.

OMG ... I am out of here