Supporting Your Dream Women

[msmoby]

As I noted earlier, on the whole I agree with you.

Foreigners tend to use money to replace their presence. Moby's case though is different.
One does confess a certain curiosity though - how does a skint party, couch surfing at his mum's and with some uncle or other and who at last count still owed various folks money, get to be supporting anyone else? Does one assume that this is a fictional claim made because it supports his chosen point of view - it'd not be the first time such a thing had happened.

You're doing lot's of assuming and entertaining. Your 'reliable sources', again  ?

[Manny]

You are contradicting yourself, Moby.

First you say:

Sorry, I find it hard believe those who state they didn't contribute to any serious level until there was a ring on the ringer.

Then this:

I know several people who never contributed at a serious level. And are very happily married now, contributing money doesn't spell love.

Agreed.

Why do you now agree with Steve when several posts before you found the very idea "hard to believe"?

[andrewfi]

So, moby, you ain't still couch surfing at your mum's place? Who is the lucky and hospitable person looking after you right now?

To be honest, I rather doubt that you are sponsoring your new best beloved. You just want us to think that you can afford to do so.

In truth you know that paying to support some foreign bint is a silly thing to do.

[msmoby]

Believe it. My wife was a lecturer in a university. Her salary was OK.

Manny,I was dating a Professor in 2004-6 and her salary was a joke - an insult - and she was taking Language classes - illegal -  to supplement her income. Most Russian apartments are former soviet designs and nought to write home about.

I realise you didn't pay for her to meet you in Malta - but I'm sure you might have contributed o bring her here - before marrying

 

I wonder did Moby (and others who do this) meet British women and immediately start filling up their bank accounts too?

Wow, this is amusing..we have a '[derogatory term removed]' conflict ... One of the tag team suggests I target women - living off them or relatives and t'other has me filling their bank accounts 

Seriously, I still don't believe most members who suggest they had closed wallets prior to walking their fiancées up the isle.

I suspect most paid for flights for their ladies to check them out  - bought them presents - perfume, or lingerie and didn't 'go dutch' in restaurants.

Steve, don't ask that question of poor moby, it might take him in a direction that he either does not know, or would prefer to not think about.

Moby is probably being FAR more honest than most ... 

[msmoby]

You are contradicting yourself, Moby.

I agreed with steve - as he readily admit he was broke - please don't assume anything more into it

Some of you seem to want to pretend you aren't softies and feel good about caring for someone and wanting to be a couple ...well, not until it is contractually 'sealed'  ..THAT I don't believe.

 

[msmoby]

So, moby, you ain't still couch surfing at your mum's place? Who is the lucky and hospitable person looking after you right now?

To be honest, I rather doubt that you are sponsoring your new best beloved. You just want us to think that you can afford to do so.

 

SC and I are chatting right, now and you are the source of much merriment ..you're being so accurate - as ever ....

 

In truth you know that paying to support some foreign bint is a silly thing to do.

Then I profess to 'being silly' ..

The 'bint' - [ you do know the term is derogatory, I'm sure ] who is my beloved - is looking forward to couch surfing in Britain - you being so sure she'll never be here with me  - and we'll be sure to post a photo.

[yankee]

Sorry, I find it hard believe those who state they didn't contribute to any serious level until there was a ring on the ringer.

Believe it. My wife was a lecturer in a university. Her salary was OK. She had (still has) a tidy flat paid for. Why would she have needed more from me? I am not an ATM. I never got this lark about meeting a woman and feeling the need to send her a monthly stipend. It sounds more like blokes who meet Thai bar girls who pay them to keep them off the game.

 

Very similiar to my situation.  We dated for 3 years before getting married. this idea was never talked or acted upon.

Maybe if you think you are buying a wife???

[Wiz]

Sorry, I find it hard believe those who state they didn't contribute to any serious level until there was a ring on the ringer.

Believe it. My wife was a lecturer in a university. Her salary was OK. She had (still has) a tidy flat paid for. Why would she have needed more from me? I am not an ATM. I never got this lark about meeting a woman and feeling the need to send her a monthly stipend. It sounds more like blokes who meet Thai bar girls who pay them to keep them off the game.

I wonder did Moby (and others who do this) meet British women and immediately start filling up their bank accounts too?

Well Manny …. we know you are a real Arthur Daley! 

In my case.... nearly messed up the first day I met my wife, because in my Greek culture... a man pays always, so when time came to pay the bill for our meal, my wife insisted to pay her share but I point blank refused her contribution, which made her unhappy! Luckily she understood and accepted my explanations.

My wife was a university educated Teacher, with her own property, money in her bank account and was supporting her mother.

When I invited her to visit me in England, she made the visa application and paid for it and later when I booked her flight, she was insisting to pay half.... it took me a little of time to make her understand that " I have invited you .. therefore it's my responsibility to pay for the expenses." Then when in the UK...... finally she got used to my way of thinking but still never accepted the money for her visa. Nothing has changed much, even today that she is working!

Just before she went back to Russia, I opened a second bank account, deposited £200 and I gave her a debit card to use for emergences. Six months later she was refusing to use this money because of her, "It's your money, not mine", attitude.

After our wedding, naturally we had to make sure all bills to her apartment were paid by us and I insisted that it is only fair, we must support her mother to have a comfortable life and basically the additional amount was peanuts for us. Today with the devaluation of the Rubble... it's a joke.

It was always my view never to send any money to any woman before meeting her in person. After that as I wanted to try and develop a relationship, taking into consideration the salaries paid in Russia, at the time, it was my responsibility to pay all the expenses. We must not forget that dating even a local woman, we have to pay for her dinner's etc... except if we did not care of the impression we would present, with such behaviour. Some men do not care but that it's not my own way.

 

[Manny]

Some people are getting confused and trying to intermingle dating expenses with giving a woman monthly free money. The two are different.

I suspect most paid for flights for their ladies to check them out  - bought them presents - perfume, or lingerie and didn't 'go dutch' in restaurants.

Those are normal dating expenses.

You appear to be supporting your inamorata completely; to the point she doesn't need to work. And have done so for seven months you said.

In Russia, that is usually called sponsorship.

From a 2008 topic:

And here’s a good one; is a foreign man who sends his intended woman money every month not just merely sponsoring her?

The question is: Why?

[Manny]

So how did she manage before you came on the scene? She doesn't seem a poor women by the way you speak of her, so what was the need for you to support her over the last 7 months or however long? How did she buy her make up and shopping and things before you came along?

I mean did you sit down with her and discuss what seamed a realistic amount of money you should pay her each month as support? How did you work it out?

Im not being nosey Just interesting..

You maybe missed this, Moby.

[msmoby]

I suspect most paid for flights for their ladies to check them out  - bought them presents - perfume, or lingerie and didn't 'go dutch' in restaurants.

Those are normal dating expenses.

I'd agree, but at what point did dating stop and become something intended to be more permanent ?

You appear to be supporting your inamorata completely; to the point she doesn't need to work. And have done so for seven months you said.

In Russia, that is usually called sponsorship.

Indeed, you're almost totally correct. I am now in Russian terms her 'sponsor' - but when I live with her she's my 'target'  ? 

SC was earning as a realtor / estate agent - which is not exactly a bread winning occupation in Russia right, now  -  currently - she is helping me with something unrelated.

I am not more offended by someone suggesting I'm her sponsor than someone suggesting she was my target - at least your opinion is more accurate.

Why ? Because she is my wife to be and she is quite happy to run around helping her man . If you own your own place and car in Russia, it's not like living is expensive - especially with the Rouble at 100 to the GBP


btw you suggested I missed responding to steveboy about her status before me and discussing budgets.. please check again....

Lastly, do you think the use of the term of 'bint' is the sort of word that is 'helpful' in this discussion  ?    I know you didn't use the term.

[Steveboy]

Some people are getting confused and trying to intermingle dating expenses with giving a woman monthly free money. The two are different.

I suspect most paid for flights for their ladies to check them out  - bought them presents - perfume, or lingerie and didn't 'go dutch' in restaurants.

Those are normal dating expenses.

You appear to be supporting your inamorata completely; to the point she doesn't need to work. And have done so for seven months you said.

In Russia, that is usually called sponsorship.

From a 2008 topic:

And here’s a good one; is a foreign man who sends his intended woman money every month not just merely sponsoring her?

The question is: Why?

I would say for sure Moby is Sponsoring his other half. The question is how many other guys have sponsored her in the past? Maybe someone sponsored the properties ? Just saying  :coffee read:
Its all checkable anyway, I know if it was me I wouldn't leave a stone unturned until I knew the ins and outs of every thing!
Im nosey anyway and always fancied being PI 

[Manny]

btw you suggested I missed responding to steveboy about her status before me and discussing budgets.. please check again....

You responded, but didn't answer.

Lastly, do you think the use of the term of 'bint' is the sort of word that is 'helpful' in this discussion  ?    I know you didn't use the term.

As I didn't use the term, no point in asking me.

[Manny]

I suspect most paid for flights for their ladies to check them out  - bought them presents - perfume, or lingerie and didn't 'go dutch' in restaurants.

Those are normal dating expenses.

I'd agree, but at what point did dating stop and become something intended to be more permanent ?

It doesn't matter does it. At no point when she lived in Russia did I feed her money each month and have her not bother to work.

[msmoby]

btw you suggested I missed responding to steveboy about her status before me and discussing budgets.. please check again....

You responded, but didn't answer.

To save members time, checking - I suggested that SC - if she ever decided to post here , again  - might answer - I have alluded to her previous earning source in this thread. I confirmed to Steveboy that we discussed budgets. You are very sensitive about your private life. Interesting, you might press me on my partners.

Lastly, do you think the use of the term of 'bint' is the sort of word that is 'helpful' in this discussion  ?    I know you didn't use the term.

As I didn't use the term, no point in asking me.

The question acknowledged the non - use of said term by you and asked for an opinion.... ''bint

a noun BRITISH informal [usage ] derogatory for a a girl or woman.'' 

So, are our partners 'fair game', now    ?

[msmoby]

at what point did dating stop and become something intended to be more permanent ?

It doesn't matter does it. At no point when she lived in Russia did I feed her money each month and have her not bother to work.

Aha, so now you're assuming SC can't be bothered to work  ? 

[Steveboy]

When you sponsor a women it basically means she's your private prostitute, it may not sound nice but thats actually what it means.
You could compare it to being a window cleaner but calling yourself a "Glass technician"

Its the same with a sponsor, its just a fancy name/word for " I have a private prostitute" Personally I never understand guys who Sponsor women because usually the guy only gets to see the women a few times and if you do your maths its actually cheaper to just pay a women by the hour when you arrive

[msmoby]

Allow me to rephrase your interesting opinion

When you sponsor a woman it basically means she's your private prostitute, it may not sound nice but thats actually what it means.

When you left blighty with b'all in your pocket and met up with a lady ...you get my drift  ? 

Its the same with a sponsor, its just a fancy name/word for " I have a private prostitute" Personally I never understand guys who Sponsor women because usually the guy only gets to see the women a few times and if you do your maths its actually cheaper to just pay a women by the hour when you arrive

I hope your Maths teacher can't read this..If we use you methodology - SC would be earning  less than 2/GBP  per session. 

[andrewfi]

Absolutely true Steve and doubley true when the poor sponsor is living in a different country. In such a case he is really paying to keep the woman from plying her trade elsewhere - assuming she can be trusted. Basically it is, for foreign guys, payment for peace of mind. Of course a sensible woman will do as she chooses and will be as discreet as she needs to be.

For guys not maintaining some bint in a foreign land the case is a little different. The sensible sponsor is not buying love. A person is unlikely to be a sponsor if he can only think in value for money/cost per hour terms. The benefit of a sponsorship deal are outside of the mere pounds and pence laid out as part of the exchange of value.

It is sometimes said that with a prostitute one does not pay for the sex but for her to go away afterward. That is,  payment buys the lack of ongoing relationship responsibility associated with 'free' sex. The same applies with sponsorship too. In exchange for the money transaction the man expects to get company, sex and self esteem fluffing but when he chooses to leave,  or for his companion to leave then it is over. There's no patting her in the head,  putting up with her PMS, dealing with her insecurities and life worries. Basically he expects all the good stuff and none of the bad. Done right that seems like a good deal and one that goes well beyond an hourly rental.

[Manny]

at what point did dating stop and become something intended to be more permanent ?

It doesn't matter does it. At no point when she lived in Russia did I feed her money each month and have her not bother to work.

Aha, so now you're assuming SC can't be bothered to work  ? 

Were that the case, I would have said "I assume your woman cant be bothered to work". English is a tricky language till you get the hang of it. 

[Steveboy]

Allow me to rephrase your interesting opinion

When you sponsor a woman it basically means she's your private prostitute, it may not sound nice but thats actually what it means.

When you left blighty with b'all in your pocket and met up with a lady ...you get my drift  ? 

Its the same with a sponsor, its just a fancy name/word for " I have a private prostitute" Personally I never understand guys who Sponsor women because usually the guy only gets to see the women a few times and if you do your maths its actually cheaper to just pay a women by the hour when you arrive

I hope your Maths teacher can't read this..If we use you methodology - SC would be earning  less than 2/GBP  per session. 

Can you explain that a little better for me? I don't understand the first point. Sorry I come from Dorset not Oxford

[msmoby]

Were that the case, I would have said "I assume your woman cant be bothered to work". English is a tricky language till you get the hang of it. 

It is an oft used tactic on here to suggest a poster didn't read what the poster meant and when thought better of it ... or was called

Perhaps you need to use the tactic that I'm 'senile' as my O levels in Eng Lang and Lit - taken a year early, didn't suggest any failing ...

It's an interesting thread and I still don't think you or other members are being totally honest.

[msmoby]

Can you explain that a little better for me? I don't understand the first point. Sorry I come from Dorset not Oxford

 If you look at the funding SC receives versus what you might perceive as the sole the 'benefit' I derive - she is getting a lousy hourly rate..

 Shakey also suggests that when we give our partners gifts, take 'em for meals, buy 'em clothes, etc.,  we are effectively paying for sex..

As I understand it - never having paid for sex - as a service - a prostitute doesn't tend to have feelings for her client and has more than one client...

I 'opes tha'ee gerts it na 

[Ste]

I think 'bint' is Arabic for 'girl' and was later absorbed into English originally as a word for 'girlfriend' I think from British Army in the Middle East.


.

[Steveboy]

Can you explain that a little better for me? I don't understand the first point. Sorry I come from Dorset not Oxford

 If you look at the funding SC receives versus what you might perceive as the sole the 'benefit' I derive - she is getting a lousy hourly rate..

 Shakey also suggests that when we give our partners gifts, take 'em for meals, buy 'em clothes, etc.,  we are effectively paying for sex..

As I understand it - never having paid for sex - as a service - a prostitute doesn't tend to have feelings for her client and has more than one client...

I 'opes tha'ee gerts it na 

I like the way you say "Funding" Sound more and more like a business agreement.