Supporting Your Dream Women

[Steveboy]

So you make the trip to meet your dream women and all works out great  You plan the next meeting as normal.

So the question is when or should you start supporting this women financially?

My opinion is you should not start supporting any women until you are married and have a ring on her finger. Ok a few gifts and a few things here and there but nothing else.
If she has lived perfectly ok for years before you arrived on the scene , why should there be a need to start supporting her financially every month? I don't think a genuine women would expect you to pay her a monthly amount to support her anyway?

When I met my other half I never supported her in any way other than some gifts now and then. But she did start working for me for which I paid a monthly salary so all fair enough.

[andrewfi]

You found a way to do that which was necessary. Might you have fond a different justification and mechanism if she didn't end up working for you?
I agree with you about this, on the whole. But circumstances do, as they say, alter cases.

There are things with which I help girlfriends, but I try to refrain from making it about money. The thing is that if one is several thousand miles away money can become the best way to offer solutions.

One thing is that if one is being taken advantage of then money is often a sure indicator, a canary in the coalmine, that something is going wrong. If one finds oneself supporting one's new darling in her homeland then something has gone wrong. Enabling her to solve local problems by the application of the requisite amount of cash is a different matter.

[Steveboy]

You found a way to do that which was necessary. Might you have fond a different justification and mechanism if she didn't end up working for you?
I agree with you about this, on the whole. But circumstances do, as they say, alter cases.

There are things with which I help girlfriends, but I try to refrain from making it about money. The thing is that if one is several thousand miles away money can become the best way to offer solutions.

One thing is that if one is being taken advantage of then money is often a sure indicator, a canary in the coalmine, that something is going wrong. If one finds oneself supporting one's new darling in her homeland then something has gone wrong. Enabling her to solve local problems by the application of the requisite amount of cash is a different matter.

Im very choosy who I communicate with and have met in the past, never wasted a minute with stupid women If my wife never landed up working for me she would never of dreamed of asking me to support her financially she's not that type of person! Of course I don't have an issue with helping out here and there (I mean I didn't ) but paying a monthly amount like so many do! No way was that ever happening or ever would.

Its always best to search a women who at least has a few roubles in her purse , or its a weight around your neck loooong time:)

[Manny]

My opinion is you should not start supporting any women until you are married and have a ring on her finger. Ok a few gifts and a few things here and there but nothing else.
If she has lived perfectly ok for years before you arrived on the scene , why should there be a need to start supporting her financially every month? I don't think a genuine women would expect you to pay her a monthly amount to support her anyway?

This has always been where I sit on this.

Yanks (more than us) also tend to routinely pour money back into the home country after marriage as well. Hence we get topics like this.

[Steveboy]

My opinion is you should not start supporting any women until you are married and have a ring on her finger. Ok a few gifts and a few things here and there but nothing else.
If she has lived perfectly ok for years before you arrived on the scene , why should there be a need to start supporting her financially every month? I don't think a genuine women would expect you to pay her a monthly amount to support her anyway?

This has always been where I sit on this.

Yanks (more than us) also tend to routinely pour money back into the home country after marriage as well. Hence we get topics like this.

Interesting Im glad I don't have in laws, grandparents and pets to support also.

[NS1]

I began helping out, when we were engaged.
Mostly with the added cost of things required
moving forward. She worked until a week before she moved her permanently.
But she was also here 2 times for 3 months. I had to pay her bills when she was here, because she could not work.
Mostly it was for documents and a few English lessons etc.
Before marriage not much really.

I agree any amount before serious commitment should be done carefully.

[MBS01]

Helped with English lessons early on and this benefited both of us in the long run.  Later invested in Home computer, and internet costs, again a mutual benefit for daily communications.  This was back when Internet Cafes were the norm and "Skype" had not yet appeared.  Not sure how these needs relate to today's international relationship experiences.

[Ste]

Nowt.

Came here as student, she worked the 20hrs allowed, then work Permit, worked, then UPV, then ILR then BC. Pooled our money from day one, her parents are not New Russians but have decent jobs and more spare money than we do it seems! They send her money (for her education, they want her to do Masters/PhD etc here although she's working in a pretty decent job, using her German and Russian and is abroad a lot now).

But then again there was no MOB thing with us, I didn't know it existed, back in 2002, I just wanted to go on the Trans-siberean which turned out to the most boring 3 days of my life, I got off I was that fed up. I was booked on to Vladivostok and had a ticket for the ferry to Japan (£200).

[Donhollio]

I just wanted to go on the Trans-siberean which turned out to the most boring 3 days of my life, I got off I was that fed up. I was booked on to Vladivostok and had a ticket for the ferry to Japan (£200).

 Ste maybe this will be more interesting than the cattle class you may have endured.

https://www.greatrail.com/tours/trans-siberian-express/

[Steveboy]

When I moved in with my now wife in Moldova of course I paid all the utilities and things along with the groceries as anyone would.

Gas             $1.50 a Month
Electric        $5.00 a Month
internet      $3.00 a Month
Sky             $3.00 a Month

The grocery bill was pretty inexpensive.

So we had plenty of spare cash every month for shopping and travelling I think we went on holiday every month

[redroo]

Hey Ste,
Like you I first visited Russia to ride the Trans Siberian as a tourist.
Ended up having a relationship with a girl I shared a cabin with 
So started my trips to the FSU many years ago.
Funny thing was the girl I actually married I met on the beach while holidaying in Turkey,
not while living in Russia/Ukraine, or via an agency or internet

[Markje]

I probably did everything wrong in this regard, but still ended up married happily now for 5 years.

* Sent her $20/month for internet access for skype.
* Sent her money for English lessons.

Then after I met her the first time,

* Sent her more money for a passport + shengen visa arrangements
* Visitted the second time, so we could be together for her shengen-interview in Kiev. Money was spent wisely, so we had a nice 2-week vacation also.

* Then she visited NL for 3 weeks. By this time, I must have sent her $1000 and only now did we recognise we had a relationship starting.

So although I was quite confident it wasn't a scam, I sent her about $1000 before the relationship officially started.

Now, I dont send any money, in fact my mother-in-law sent me $4000 to get me started with a car which helped out bigtime in 'family' time as I don't have to take the bus anymore.

Ah, those poor pensioners, all broke with nothing to spare....

Of course I paid her back as soon as my own work picked up again and only since 1 year, I can give my wife the life I promised long ago because of the economic crash in Europe.

Mark.

[Steveboy]

I probably did everything wrong in this regard, but still ended up married happily now for 5 years.

* Sent her $20/month for internet access for skype.
* Sent her money for English lessons.

Then after I met her the first time,

* Sent her more money for a passport + shengen visa arrangements
* Visitted the second time, so we could be together for her shengen-interview in Kiev. Money was spent wisely, so we had a nice 2-week vacation also.

* Then she visited NL for 3 weeks. By this time, I must have sent her $1000 and only now did we recognise we had a relationship starting.

So although I was quite confident it wasn't a scam, I sent her about $1000 before the relationship officially started.

Now, I dont send any money, in fact my mother-in-law sent me $4000 to get me started with a car which helped out bigtime in 'family' time as I don't have to take the bus anymore.

Ah, those poor pensioners, all broke with nothing to spare....

Of course I paid her back as soon as my own work picked up again and only since 1 year, I can give my wife the life I promised long ago because of the economic crash in Europe.

Mark.

Blimmey!! Sounds like you got the best deal!! So it looks like the best advice you can give is find a women with a rich babushka 

[andrewfi]

When I moved in with my now wife in Moldova of course I paid all the utilities and things along with the groceries as anyone would.

Gas             $1.50 a Month
Electric        $5.00 a Month
internet      $3.00 a Month
Sky             $3.00 a Month

The grocery bill was pretty inexpensive.

So we had plenty of spare cash every month for shopping and travelling I think we went on holiday every month

It'd be nice if life were as inexpensive over here, but it ain't.
One thing that is noticeable though is that where guys are 'helping out' their little darlings they are, almost always, doshing out way too much. Sometimes, as we have seen, it profits the bint to stay over here collecting her sponsorship fees rather than get a visa and ticket.

[Ste]

When I moved in with my now wife in Moldova of course I paid all the utilities and things along with the groceries as anyone would.

Gas             $1.50 a Month
Electric        $5.00 a Month
internet      $3.00 a Month
Sky             $3.00 a Month

The grocery bill was pretty inexpensive.

So we had plenty of spare cash every month for shopping and travelling I think we went on holiday every month

It'd be nice if life were as inexpensive over here, but it ain't.
One thing that is noticeable though is that where guys are 'helping out' their little darlings they are, almost always, doshing out way too much. Sometimes, as we have seen, it profits the bint to stay over here collecting her sponsorship fees rather than get a visa and ticket.

One chap on the immigration forum is applying for his wife and their four non Brit kids, he needs to have earned nearly 30k which is nowt, but he also has to stump up 7k in visa and IHS surcharge fees. Ouch!


.

[Steveboy]

Thats why its always best to search for a women who has some kind of income and doesn't live on the street.

Not sure if this one is free yet as I read she has a lover…

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/vladimir-putins-younger-daughter-spouse-061329684.html

But who knows maybe one day

[Dogsoldier]

Once our relationship was on a strong footing I had her open a bank account into which I would from time to time transfer some money.
She never asked for anything but I knew she wasnt rolling in the stuff and not able to work caring for the little ones and there was no support coming from their father.
I did this off my back.
Of course, when the time came for visa applications it was handy to show some money in the bank and also for all the incidental expenses that go with making those applications.

[Borsch]

Nowt.

Came here as student, she worked the 20hrs allowed, then work Permit, worked, then UPV, then ILR then BC. Pooled our money from day one, her parents are not New Russians but have decent jobs and more spare money than we do it seems! They send her money (for her education, they want her to do Masters/PhD etc here although she's working in a pretty decent job, using her German and Russian and is abroad a lot now).

But then again there was no MOB thing with us, I didn't know it existed, back in 2002, I just wanted to go on the Trans-siberean which turned out to the most boring 3 days of my life, I got off I was that fed up. I was booked on to Vladivostok and had a ticket for the ferry to Japan (£200).

That 20hrs thing reminds me of stories of people who technically work within those limits but actual hours were far greater. Company pays a higher hourly rate with less official hours.

I have a friend who wants to go on the Trans-siberean railway from 1 side of the country to the other. He keeps trying to rope me in. He tries to sell it like one amazing adventure but I've seen some photos and have slept on sleeper trains before so it doesn't sound too great to me. Maybe if you actually wanted to visit some of the stops on the way it might be interesting.

[msmoby]

Perhaps some need to check out the definition of a relationship and the symbiotic nature, therein.

Sorry, I find it hard believe those who state they didn't contribute to any serious level until there was a ring on the ringer. 

[Steveboy]

Perhaps some need to check out the definition of a relationship and the symbiotic nature, therein.

Sorry, I find it hard believe those who state they didn't contribute to any serious level until there was a ring on the ringer.

I know several people who never contributed at a serious level. And are very happily married now, contributing money doesn't spell love. You say your other half has property a car and things in Sochi? So how did she manage before you came on the scene? She doesn't seem a poor women by the way you speak of her, so what was the need for you to support her over the last 7 months or however long? How did she buy her make up and shopping and things before you came along?

I mean did you sit down with her and discuss what seamed a realistic amount of money you should pay her each month as support? How did you work it out?

Im not being nosey Just interesting..

[andrewfi]

Steve, don't ask that question of poor moby, it might take him in a direction that he either does not know, or would prefer to not think about.

[Steveboy]

Steve, don't ask that question of poor moby, it might take him in a direction that he either does not know, or would prefer to not think about.

I just wondered, because if I met a women who had property and assets in Russia and moved on in, I would expect her to at least say "Hey don't worry about supporting me, I'm ok, just help out with the essential things, I love you not your money"
Regular money and support comes a long way down the line…. well in my books anyway. Im a penny pincher

[Manny]

Sorry, I find it hard believe those who state they didn't contribute to any serious level until there was a ring on the ringer.

Believe it. My wife was a lecturer in a university. Her salary was OK. She had (still has) a tidy flat paid for. Why would she have needed more from me? I am not an ATM. I never got this lark about meeting a woman and feeling the need to send her a monthly stipend. It sounds more like blokes who meet Thai bar girls who pay them to keep them off the game.

I wonder did Moby (and others who do this) meet British women and immediately start filling up their bank accounts too?

I know several people who never contributed at a serious level. And are very happily married now, contributing money doesn't spell love. You say your other half has property a car and things in Sochi? So how did she manage before you came on the scene?

^^ This.

Steve, don't ask that question of poor moby, it might take him in a direction that he either does not know, or would prefer to not think about.

 

[andrewfi]

I just wondered, because if I met a women who had property and assets in Russia and moved on in, I would expect her to at least say "Hey don't worry about supporting me, I'm ok, just help out with the essential things, I love you not your money"
Regular money and support comes a long way down the line…. well in my books anyway. Im a penny pincher

As I noted earlier, on the whole I agree with you.

Foreigners tend to use money to replace their presence. Moby's case though is different.
One does confess a certain curiosity though - how does a skint party, couch surfing at his mum's and with some uncle or other and who at last count still owed various folks money, get to be supporting anyone else? Does one assume that this is a fictional claim made because it supports his chosen point of view - it'd not be the first time such a thing had happened.

[msmoby]

I know several people who never contributed at a serious level. And are very happily married now, contributing money doesn't spell love.

Agreed.

You say your other half has property a car and things in Sochi? So how did she manage before you came on the scene? She doesn't seem a poor women by the way you speak of her, so what was the need for you to support her over the last 7 months or however long? How did she buy her make up and shopping and things before you came along?

I mean did you sit down with her and discuss what seamed a realistic amount of money you should pay her each month as support? How did you work it out?

Im not being nosey Just interesting..

YES - you are 

How she acquired her wealth is certainly to her credit and was quite legal and if she ever feels like posting here again - she can tell you 

Sure  we sat down and discussed budgets.

Let's not change the subject .. a relationship is symbiotic and we both gain[ed] / will gain benefits. We are way past the dating stage.

I simply don't buy the spin of  some posters... Ste's tale is something else