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Author Topic: Supporting Your Dream Women  (Read 3316 times)

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Offline Steveboy

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Supporting Your Dream Women
« on: November 10, 2015, 11:41:58 AM »
So you make the trip to meet your dream women and all works out great  :) You plan the next meeting as normal.

So the question is when or should you start supporting this women financially?

My opinion is you should not start supporting any women until you are married and have a ring on her finger. Ok a few gifts and a few things here and there but nothing else.
If she has lived perfectly ok for years before you arrived on the scene , why should there be a need to start supporting her financially every month? I don't think a genuine women would expect you to pay her a monthly amount to support her anyway?

When I met my other half I never supported her in any way other than some gifts now and then. But she did start working for me for which I paid a monthly salary so all fair enough.

I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Online andrewfi

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2015, 12:00:25 PM »
You found a way to do that which was necessary. Might you have fond a different justification and mechanism if she didn't end up working for you?
I agree with you about this, on the whole. But circumstances do, as they say, alter cases.

There are things with which I help girlfriends, but I try to refrain from making it about money. The thing is that if one is several thousand miles away money can become the best way to offer solutions.

One thing is that if one is being taken advantage of then money is often a sure indicator, a canary in the coalmine, that something is going wrong. If one finds oneself supporting one's new darling in her homeland then something has gone wrong. Enabling her to solve local problems by the application of the requisite amount of cash is a different matter.

"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

Offline Steveboy

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2015, 12:28:37 PM »
You found a way to do that which was necessary. Might you have fond a different justification and mechanism if she didn't end up working for you?
I agree with you about this, on the whole. But circumstances do, as they say, alter cases.

There are things with which I help girlfriends, but I try to refrain from making it about money. The thing is that if one is several thousand miles away money can become the best way to offer solutions.

One thing is that if one is being taken advantage of then money is often a sure indicator, a canary in the coalmine, that something is going wrong. If one finds oneself supporting one's new darling in her homeland then something has gone wrong. Enabling her to solve local problems by the application of the requisite amount of cash is a different matter.

Im very choosy who I communicate with and have met in the past, never wasted a minute with stupid women :) If my wife never landed up working for me she would never of dreamed of asking me to support her financially she's not that type of person! Of course I don't have an issue with helping out here and there (I mean I didn't ) but paying a monthly amount like so many do! No way was that ever happening or ever would.

Its always best to search a women who at least has a few roubles in her purse , or its a weight around your neck loooong time:)
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!


Offline Manny

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2015, 12:38:55 PM »
My opinion is you should not start supporting any women until you are married and have a ring on her finger. Ok a few gifts and a few things here and there but nothing else.
If she has lived perfectly ok for years before you arrived on the scene , why should there be a need to start supporting her financially every month? I don't think a genuine women would expect you to pay her a monthly amount to support her anyway?

This has always been where I sit on this.

Yanks (more than us) also tend to routinely pour money back into the home country after marriage as well. Hence we get topics like this.

Offline Steveboy

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2015, 12:46:40 PM »
My opinion is you should not start supporting any women until you are married and have a ring on her finger. Ok a few gifts and a few things here and there but nothing else.
If she has lived perfectly ok for years before you arrived on the scene , why should there be a need to start supporting her financially every month? I don't think a genuine women would expect you to pay her a monthly amount to support her anyway?

This has always been where I sit on this.

Yanks (more than us) also tend to routinely pour money back into the home country after marriage as well. Hence we get topics like this.

Interesting :) Im glad I don't have in laws, grandparents and pets to support also.
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Offline NS1

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2015, 02:24:49 PM »
I began helping out, when we were engaged.
Mostly with the added cost of things required
moving forward. She worked until a week before she moved her permanently.
But she was also here 2 times for 3 months. I had to pay her bills when she was here, because she could not work.
Mostly it was for documents and a few English lessons etc.
Before marriage not much really.

I agree any amount before serious commitment should be done carefully.
“You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”
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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2015, 02:59:36 PM »
Helped with English lessons early on and this benefited both of us in the long run.  Later invested in Home computer, and internet costs, again a mutual benefit for daily communications.  This was back when Internet Cafes were the norm and "Skype" had not yet appeared.  Not sure how these needs relate to today's international relationship experiences.

Online Ste

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2015, 03:22:02 PM »
Nowt.

Came here as student, she worked the 20hrs allowed, then work Permit, worked, then UPV, then ILR then BC. Pooled our money from day one, her parents are not New Russians but have decent jobs and more spare money than we do it seems! They send her money (for her education, they want her to do Masters/PhD etc here although she's working in a pretty decent job, using her German and Russian and is abroad a lot now).

But then again there was no MOB thing with us, I didn't know it existed, back in 2002, I just wanted to go on the Trans-siberean which turned out to the most boring 3 days of my life, I got off I was that fed up. I was booked on to Vladivostok and had a ticket for the ferry to Japan (£200).



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Offline Donhollio

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2015, 07:51:37 PM »
I just wanted to go on the Trans-siberean which turned out to the most boring 3 days of my life, I got off I was that fed up. I was booked on to Vladivostok and had a ticket for the ferry to Japan (£200).

 Ste maybe this will be more interesting than the cattle class you may have endured.

https://www.greatrail.com/tours/trans-siberian-express/

Offline Steveboy

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2015, 11:57:52 PM »
When I moved in with my now wife in Moldova of course I paid all the utilities and things along with the groceries as anyone would.

Gas             $1.50 a Month
Electric        $5.00 a Month
internet      $3.00 a Month
Sky             $3.00 a Month

The grocery bill was pretty inexpensive.

So we had plenty of spare cash every month for shopping and travelling I think we went on holiday every month :) :)



I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Offline redroo

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2015, 01:12:00 AM »
Hey Ste,
Like you I first visited Russia to ride the Trans Siberian as a tourist.
Ended up having a relationship with a girl I shared a cabin with  :loving:
So started my trips to the FSU many years ago.
Funny thing was the girl I actually married I met on the beach while holidaying in Turkey,
not while living in Russia/Ukraine, or via an agency or internet

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2015, 01:43:51 AM »
I probably did everything wrong in this regard, but still ended up married happily now for 5 years.

* Sent her $20/month for internet access for skype.
* Sent her money for English lessons.

Then after I met her the first time,

* Sent her more money for a passport + shengen visa arrangements
* Visitted the second time, so we could be together for her shengen-interview in Kiev. Money was spent wisely, so we had a nice 2-week vacation also.

* Then she visited NL for 3 weeks. By this time, I must have sent her $1000 and only now did we recognise we had a relationship starting.

So although I was quite confident it wasn't a scam, I sent her about $1000 before the relationship officially started.

Now, I dont send any money, in fact my mother-in-law sent me $4000 to get me started with a car which helped out bigtime in 'family' time as I don't have to take the bus anymore.

Ah, those poor pensioners, all broke with nothing to spare....

Of course I paid her back as soon as my own work picked up again and only since 1 year, I can give my wife the life I promised long ago because of the economic crash in Europe.

Mark.

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Offline Steveboy

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2015, 01:51:01 AM »
I probably did everything wrong in this regard, but still ended up married happily now for 5 years.

* Sent her $20/month for internet access for skype.
* Sent her money for English lessons.

Then after I met her the first time,

* Sent her more money for a passport + shengen visa arrangements
* Visitted the second time, so we could be together for her shengen-interview in Kiev. Money was spent wisely, so we had a nice 2-week vacation also.

* Then she visited NL for 3 weeks. By this time, I must have sent her $1000 and only now did we recognise we had a relationship starting.

So although I was quite confident it wasn't a scam, I sent her about $1000 before the relationship officially started.

Now, I dont send any money, in fact my mother-in-law sent me $4000 to get me started with a car which helped out bigtime in 'family' time as I don't have to take the bus anymore.

Ah, those poor pensioners, all broke with nothing to spare....

Of course I paid her back as soon as my own work picked up again and only since 1 year, I can give my wife the life I promised long ago because of the economic crash in Europe.

Mark.

Blimmey!! Sounds like you got the best deal!! So it looks like the best advice you can give is find a women with a rich babushka  :8)
I support no government anywhere, ever, never. No institution, No religion!!

Online andrewfi

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2015, 03:23:28 AM »
When I moved in with my now wife in Moldova of course I paid all the utilities and things along with the groceries as anyone would.

Gas             $1.50 a Month
Electric        $5.00 a Month
internet      $3.00 a Month
Sky             $3.00 a Month

The grocery bill was pretty inexpensive.

So we had plenty of spare cash every month for shopping and travelling I think we went on holiday every month :) :)

It'd be nice if life were as inexpensive over here, but it ain't.
One thing that is noticeable though is that where guys are 'helping out' their little darlings they are, almost always, doshing out way too much. Sometimes, as we have seen, it profits the bint to stay over here collecting her sponsorship fees rather than get a visa and ticket.

"For what else is the life of man but a kind of play in which men in various costumes perform until the director motions them offstage?" -Erasmus

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Re: Supporting Your Dream Women
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2015, 03:34:11 AM »

When I moved in with my now wife in Moldova of course I paid all the utilities and things along with the groceries as anyone would.

Gas             $1.50 a Month
Electric        $5.00 a Month
internet      $3.00 a Month
Sky             $3.00 a Month

The grocery bill was pretty inexpensive.

So we had plenty of spare cash every month for shopping and travelling I think we went on holiday every month :) :)

It'd be nice if life were as inexpensive over here, but it ain't.
One thing that is noticeable though is that where guys are 'helping out' their little darlings they are, almost always, doshing out way too much. Sometimes, as we have seen, it profits the bint to stay over here collecting her sponsorship fees rather than get a visa and ticket.

One chap on the immigration forum is applying for his wife and their four non Brit kids, he needs to have earned nearly 30k which is nowt, but he also has to stump up 7k in visa and IHS surcharge fees. Ouch!


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O pointy birds, o pointy pointy, Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.