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Author Topic: For the married guys, how long from first meeting to marriage?  (Read 11117 times)

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Offline Paul

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For the married guys, how long from first meeting to marriage?
« on: January 30, 2008, 04:46:43 PM »
How long did you wait to ask the big question after your first in-person meeting?

Offline Rasputin

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2008, 05:22:58 PM »
I indirectly proposed to my wife after two weeks. We were on a bus coming back from a village where we had visited some friends. On the way back, I asked my wife whether she would be willing to marry a guy like me. She said yes. We were married 4 months later. However, I would not recommend this route to anybody: to this day my wife still can't get over the fact that I proposed in such a non-romantic way.
"Seems I live in Russia Rasputin visited" - Millaa
"So do I" - Molly35ru

Offline Robert34

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2008, 07:21:39 PM »
Rasputin,

             Mate I cant believe she even said YES lol, me personally I am not married yet so take this as you will day_dreamer
You will know when the time is right, not before not after, just at that moment when you know you could never live without her.

Thats when !!
You dont always get what you want but you get what you need !


Offline Paul

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2008, 07:40:56 PM »
I'm not looking for the answer to the question "when is the right time to ask," I'm just curious to know how long people waited.

BTW, Rasputins answer was cool  :)

Online bgreed

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2008, 08:28:26 PM »
Well actually I proposed at the end of our first meeting.  However we had long and frequent contact prior as well we both pretty well knew the score before we actually physically met.

We were standing in the airport holding on to eachother like two people afraid to let go when I asked her if she would marry me.  All she said is "all I know is that I want to be with you" My reply was " so does that mean yes?" she said"Greggochka you are always thinking right."  And well any of those who read my marriage report know the rest of the story. ;D

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2008, 11:43:27 PM »
Over a year.  Our first meeting was when she was a government paid guide and I fell in head over heels but her family at first wasn't sure they wanted their mid-35 year old damsel hanging around an evil capitalistic American and after getting over that initial hurdle they required a long period of courtship.  I won't bore you will all the details--having already told the story in the post "Inside a ZAGS wedding....complete with vidoes" but I learned and grew during that European courtship process.  And she was worth the wait!


Greg, I imagine your beautiful wife has several cool nicknames for you.


Offline Manny

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2008, 04:19:48 AM »
Seven months. We met first in Malta in the July and the big Q was popped on one of her visits to England the following February. By then we were visiting each other every 4-6 weeks.

Online bgreed

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2008, 09:06:23 PM »
Jim,
we have a lot of nicknames for eachother some that russian based and others that are just fun.  Have to say that is one of the very cool things about Russian is all the diminuatives and variation of words that denote intimacy in a relationship.

I know it is this diminuatives and such that give westerners such fits with reading Tolstoys "War and Peace" finding out that every character has at least three nmaes depending upon who they are talking to and what the circumstance may be.

Offline BCKev

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2008, 01:54:05 AM »
How long did you wait to ask the big question after your first in-person meeting?

5 months

Offline bobjf

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2008, 02:02:38 AM »
 it was pretty much a done deal before we met,only needed to see if the chemistry was there.
then just 3 days,now coming up on our 5th wedding  anniversary,never been happier 
it takes two willing givers to make two happy receivers
result happy couple most of the time lol

Offline hagar

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Re: How long did you wait
« Reply #10 on: February 04, 2008, 03:21:44 AM »
Hi,

we all know my story but i want to know how long after meeting your girl did you want to marry her .

i would like to know out of interest sake and i dont want to discuss my girl in this post.

Offline rhayes026

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Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2009, 11:53:32 AM »
Mendy has a post on how they review courtship and dating. This post is for is there a hard and fast rule for how long she expects to be courted before you pop the question?
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.---Benjamin Franklin

Offline Boris

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2009, 12:14:32 PM »
Mendy has a post on how they review courtship and dating. This post is for is there a hard and fast rule for how long she expects to be courted before you pop the question?

Robert,

You need to make sure that she completely understands your medical condition and the intensive treatment it requires.

Ada

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2009, 12:46:42 PM »
I'd say there is no such rule, except when you have known each other well enough and you both decide you're ready and want to spend the rest of your lives together.
You can ask the question when you're (almost) positive there is no 'room' for a negative answer  :nod:

Offline rhayes026

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2009, 12:49:15 PM »
 :offtopic:    I have Boris.   ;D  She is not put off by the fact, I even told her I could die untimely or be crippled. I am upfront about my condition before I start writing my letters. Hopefully I will get my kidney soon.  It will make life easier. But until then my introductory letter contains info about my  condition and what it means. I have had 2 women reject me based on this, this one did not. So I am ready to see if #1 I really like her and #2 I need to court her.   ;D
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.---Benjamin Franklin

Offline rhayes026

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2009, 12:51:46 PM »
Ada, how many flights over there should I take? I do not expect to know on the first flight,  but maybe the third or fourth?
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.---Benjamin Franklin

Ada

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2009, 01:03:59 PM »
It really depends on how things go with the lady, you will know better after you meet in person (although I knew it before  :innocent:). Maybe guys with more experience in this endeavor can help you more than I can  :)

Offline ECR844

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2009, 01:05:22 PM »
Basically assume nothing, and don't rush. IMHLO, the more time spent together on the phone and especially in person the better. If you rush you're just asking for trouble.

Offline rhayes026

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2009, 01:10:10 PM »
Basically assume nothing, and don't rush. IMHLO, the more time spent together on the phone and especially in person the better. If you rush you're just asking for trouble.

It sounds like it takes a lot of time which is ok by me, but is it ok with FSUW?
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.---Benjamin Franklin

Offline ECR844

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2009, 01:13:29 PM »
Basically assume nothing, and don't rush. IMHLO, the more time spent together on the phone and especially in person the better. If you rush you're just asking for trouble.

It sounds like it takes a lot of time which is ok by me, but is it ok with FSUW?

"Rhayes,"

  This entire endeavor is situational and varies greatly between individuals as a result. Some people spend a few days to a week together and get married, others much longer. Their are varied records of success with either. But I don't think this is something you can put a clock on and if you try to force things because of a predetermined time line. It may cause more problems than help. YMMV..

Offline rhayes026

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2009, 01:22:59 PM »
It is just that the lady I write wants a "long and serious attitude" and I assume this is what she is talking about. I take it  I should just react to her body language to gauge if I should ask her when the time is appropiate?
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.---Benjamin Franklin

Offline Manny

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2009, 01:30:43 PM »
Basically assume nothing, and don't rush. IMHLO, the more time spent together on the phone and especially in person the better. If you rush you're just asking for trouble.

It sounds like it takes a lot of time which is ok by me, but is it ok with FSUW?

Don't leave it six months between visits and the time flies. We used to meet once every 4-6 weeks on average. It took us around a year of this to be absolutely sure about each other. (Circumstances at the time allowed me that luxury, and living in Europe helps of course, but you get the thrust of what I am saying I am sure.)

With the logistical disadvantage flying from the US, a visit every 2-3 months seems more normal for the guys here I think? Don't propose on the first trip, however... er... on top of the world events whilst you are there might make you feel. :)

You would make allowances for your condition of course, so you may deviate from what might be considered a standard agenda. As your learning and experience increases, I think you just "know" when the time is right.

Your [her] quote of a  "long and serious attitude" I might mention. Machine translators often translate "relationship" as "attitude" I recall. She is asking for a long and serious relationship. I would take that to mean "no sex tourists" or other non serious miscreants. I would expect that phrase from a woman seeking a "serious" man; ie marriage.


Offline rhayes026

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2009, 01:36:47 PM »
Thank you Manny.  :bow:   I guess what I was trying to get at is how long is considered sufficient by her and her family, I do not want to insult them! Your post gave me a great feel of what to expect and how to go about it with a reasonable chance of success. I  just knew in some countries courtships were expected to last xxx months before it was deemed appropiate for the guy to ask. I did not know if the FSU was like that or not.  :nod:
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.---Benjamin Franklin

Offline Boris

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2009, 01:41:47 PM »
:offtopic:    I have Boris.   ;D  She is not put off by the fact, I even told her I could die untimely or be crippled. I am upfront about my condition before I start writing my letters. Hopefully I will get my kidney soon.  It will make life easier. But until then my introductory letter contains info about my  condition and what it means. I have had 2 women reject me based on this, this one did not. So I am ready to see if #1 I really like her and #2 I need to court her.   ;D

Sorry for the off-topic. I'm glad you have been forthcoming. B.

Online sparky114

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Re: Courting - how long is usual?
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2009, 01:43:26 PM »
It is just that the lady I write wants a "long and serious attitude" and I assume this is what she is talking about. I take it  I should just react to her body language to gauge if I should ask her when the time is appropiate?


Robert,

You will know when the time is right :) IMHO what these real ladies want is some sort of commitment, and in that I mean someone who is willing to put in the effort to get off their butts and go and visit, not just some keyboard romeo.

Now I understand your situation is not the normal one posted here often, so all I can say is try to sort it out in your own mind how you are going to play out if things progress to a serious level! It already looks like you are not afraid of asking for advice and seeking information, but the more you learn the better prepared you will be :)

As for how long? I had been there 5 times in 6 months and my wife had been here once before I popped the question and then we were married 2 days short of 1 year that we had know each other :)  But in between she visited me once again and I went over 6 more times :) But we new it was right for us :)and as I sit here I am preparing for trip 20 on Tuesday to Russia and this time my wife will fly back with me and we start our new life in the UK together :party0011:

Best Wishes

Mark
Today is only one day in a life of happiness

Mark


 

 

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