Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW

[longingforthesouth]

Previously I quoted some very reasonable posts by Omega and here's Eduard:

The fact that you are a foreigner is no longer a benefit rather a hindrance in most cases.

I think that the era when it was really easy to get a Russian woman interested in a foreigner to the point of marriage and moving to his country is over. Now days it requires a considerable investment in time, energy and resources.

[welder]

the older members of this forum are married and they are not up-to-date with the current trends. They are very biased and they always take it personally when someone dares to criticise the FSUW. Some guys here are directly involved in the dating industry (they own sites or agencies) and they do not allow any criticism. That renders a productive debate impossible.

I always predict things correctly....

Is this an attempt at self promotion or wit. How disingenuous!   Longing there was a debate to be had, you avoided it at all costs!  Rather that open your mind, which you accuse others of being closed minded, you repeat yourself.  When challenged you ask the thread to be closed.  Never answered a single question.  Same drama three years back.  Mice run on wheels mate, you can step off.  Your arrogance will not allow you to get out of your own way.  Your experiences are hindering rather than helping. 

[TomT]

Eduard didn't mention that the financial strength of the typical foreign suitor could be several orders of magnitude greater than the typical local suitor and that an FSUM could much more easily replace his FSUW than could a Western man. From the other side, an FSU woman's financial and social opportunities would increase exponentially in her new residence. Much like you, Ed cherry-picks his facts very carefully. I suspect that you think that his comments are reasonable because you agree with him. That, however, is validation, not  debate.

[welder]

Macedonia.  Debate over.

[Annushka]

Janusz Leon Wisniewski: "Loneliness on the Net."

loveread.ws/read_book.php?id=3649&p=1

[longingforthesouth]

Welder, AJ, JayH, Slumba & others. I read all of u. I'm not ignoring. But this is 

And calm down Welder. U r a grown up man.  I didnt comment cause I already wrote volumes & volumes. It's enough! Sure, u can share ur POW. I'm not Stalin. I'm Tito. LOL.

From now I'll post short comments. E.g. if i find interesting stuff, quotes etc.

And I never asked the thread to be locked. TomT complained that it is: futile, long etc. and I was like: "U can lock it if you think its enough". I though he's the mod. But he's not. The Who were mods.

[longingforthesouth]

Janusz Leon Wisniewski: "Loneliness on the Net."

loveread.ws/read_book.php?id=3649&p=1

Спасибо Аннушка, с удовольствием посмотрю.

[CaptB]

Longingforthesouth,

I am 62. I turned 40 a few months after my divorce. Of course there were college age guys who determined because of my age.....I had to be clueless. From that time on I had the most fun dating up until age 51.....when I remarried. I still have a lot of fun dating....only now its with my RW wife. You talk about not using the same "tricks" now....we used back then. I never had any "tricks"........just commonsense, research......and a little "wisdom". My dating strategies never really changed......just the tools......writing, phone, skype. When I was 20......I never had a problem dating whomever I set my sights on. It never changed at 30, 40, 50
.......or 62. Some folks have good personalities....and other attributes that attract women. Others have "attitude"........and talk a lot......and feel self-important calling others "dated" and "clueless" and "out of touch. To the contrary........THIS GEEZER.....is anything but. The real test is not telling everyone what you are......but in how those around you (friends, relatives, coworkers etc.)...........regard YOU. I know I have the positive attributes to be successful in this endeavor because the folks I am surrounded by........tell me so....... 

If my wonderful wife were ever to pass before me.....if my heart were in it......I would not fear having to do so at 80. Yes, yes.......the rules are always changing........that is life. Do you think the rules change only in pursuing  RW ?......"all" aspects of life are everchanging. Many of us "geezers" are pretty adaptable.......you can't be successful.......if you are always stuck in your ways. There will always be younger guys telling older guys they are clueless........not realizing they are usually a few steps behind. I always thought my Father was stuck in his ways.....its amazing how much wiser he keeps getting......with each passing year. Maybe if and when you find a wife (RW or otherwise)........you may be as ecstatic as I am (11 years)........to be stuck in the past :-) After all.....being "stuck" with one RW......really is the goal here.......is'nt it?

Capt B 

[welder]

Nice post CaptB.

[2tallbill]

They have russian versions of "Cosmopolitan" and "Sex & the City". Even poor smalltown girls want to immitate this.

There has been Dallas, Dynasty and various shows where rich people hop from
bed to bed and Western men would love to imitate this but can't.

Maybe FSUW would like to imitate this but reality is that they will end up alone if
they do, so mostly they don't. 

[TomT]

We have some members who are fixated on a particular theme, most notably Jay who goes on and on about old phaffers who lack [his] recent experience. A common feature of the former group is that, not only do they disregard any facts that don't support their position, they deny that such facts exist at all. As one might imagine, that gets very boring ("long of tooth").

I asked you what you've learned in the past three years since you've graced us with your presence and you've been silent on the issue. You might consider writing about what you learned from your relationship with the teenager whom you praised. I would find the narrative engrossing, especially if it is long.

[longingforthesouth]

CaptB thanks for the reply . It was a pleasant read. And thanks to the other guys. But we will never understand each other. I promised that I'll not bore you with long stories, but this is interesting:

Have you watched Austin Powers? A guy from the 60s goes to the future (90s) and tries to fit in.

Back in the 60s, he was a great womanizer, but in the 90s he looks like a clown. His clothes, pickup lines, slang, gestures and dance moves are outdated. Also, the ideals of beauty are changed. Compare Pete Townsend and Beckham!

Austin thinks he can still enjoy free love, not knowing that it can be dangerous in the 90s. His partner Vanessa tells him: "You can't just go off shagging anybody anymore... Welcome to the 90s. You're gonna be very lonely". Alienation. As the world gets older, it's colder.

Things DO change.

I'm not saying you are clueless. But it's normal not to be up-to-date. You do not spend days on facebook with people aged from 18 to 30, you don't go to techno parties etc. No offence.

And I disagree that good personalities attract lots of women and that they are appreciated in this world.

[AJ]

And I disagree that good personalities attract lots of women and that they are appreciated in this world.

..and with that outlook, you'll be much less likely to find a nice person.That's guaranteed. So keep shooting yourself in the foot, then complaining things are painful and that it's difficult to walk.
 

What do you look for in a woman?
Do truly good personalities attract you, or not?
Do you think fundamentally women are so alien from men?

I can assure you the one and only thing I really have going for me is a decent personality and relationship skills, its been enough.

You keep saying folks debating you aren't up to date, yet seem to ignore their experiences are recent.When would they have had to be dating? This year only?
 
This reminds me of a small group of people that choose the career of storm chasing,and concentrate on that aspect of the world. They are sure to have bad weather as a part of their daily life.
The rest of the general population that chooses others career paths ,and things to concentrate on in life, enjoy a lot of sunny weather.
They are up to date on what weather will be like today or next week, and they do not ignore that bad weather exists, and is quite regular and normal, but they view it as merely a nuisance.

In the end you need to only find one woman that's right for you (and you for her).Approximately 1 billion women in your age range.
 

[Danchik]

CaptB thanks for the reply . It was a pleasant read. And thanks to the other guys. But we will never understand each other. I promised that I'll not bore you with long stories, but this is interesting:

Have you watched Austin Powers? A guy from the 60s goes to the future (90s) and tries to fit in.

Back in the 60s, he was a great womanizer, but in the 90s he looks like a clown. His clothes, pickup lines, slang, gestures and dance moves are outdated. Also, the ideals of beauty are changed. Compare Pete Townsend and Beckham!

This is simply a silly analogy.

Things DO change.

Very profound. Of course they do. But the more they change, the more they stay the same.

I'm not saying you are clueless. But it's normal not to be up-to-date. You do not spend days on facebook with people aged from 18 to 30, you don't go to techno parties etc. No offence.

I don't spend days on Facebook with people aged 18-30, I spend days face to face with people aged 18-30, as in every day. A RW aged 18 is lights years away from a RW aged 30, or 25 for that matter.

What a women/girl aged 18+ says she wants can be completely different than what she really wants; especially to some guy she only knows on a certain level.

What has changed is that the women are much more serious and discerning about things after age 22-23, and more serious in general than their American sisters about starting a family. By 23 the techno parties start to become boring to them. Doesn't mean they don't like to go out partying or dancing, it means that it doesn't have the same "pop" it did when they were 18. Again, nothing groundbreaking, or new.

And I disagree that good personalities attract lots of women and that they are appreciated in this world.

You haven't made a good case that you know more than others about anything. You're all over the place, but provide no insight other than to say you speak Russian (so do I) and that you've spent more recent time in Russia (I've lived in Moscow for the last 10 years).

And I disagree, good personalities "do" attract people; everywhere. Of course one needs more than a good personality, but there's no doubt that a funny, charming, interesting, etc. person attracts more people (women) than a boring, arrogant, dumb fool. Common sense tells me this.

I'm waiting for you to provide this thread with some insight to all your knowledge that "we" don't know. I speak to more RW than you ever will. And I disagree with some of your assertions, as scattered as they are to understand. 

So please, enlighten us so everyone can debate your points. So far you seem like nothing more than a guy who thinks he gets girls others here can't , or that others here are too old or outdated with their experience; something else I don't agree completely with.

[longingforthesouth]

Nikola Tesla was a genius and he died forgotten in misery. Paris Hilton is a brainless bimbo and everyone likes her, she's full of undeserved cash etc. there are milions of examples but lets not complicate. thats not the topic anyway so lets forget it. Good people always win, yeah in disneyland

[AJ]

Nikola Tesla was a genius and he died forgotten in misery. Paris Hilton is a brainless bimbo and everyone likes her, she's full of undeserved cash etc. there are milions of examples but lets not complicate. thats not the topic anyway so lets forget it. Good people always win, yeah in disneyland

No one said good people always win.
Only that good personalities do attract people in general.

Those who cling to the  alternative view and are so  jaded,
are going to find exactly what they *see* in the world,
since their very outlook influences their ability to interact with others.

[longingforthesouth]

AJ, you mentioned recent marriages.

Congrats to you! I never denied that there are good FSUW!

However, how many WM were succesful VS failures? Statistics?

I read the thread Members married within the past three years.

And how many guys are there? 5? What a success!

Sorry for my irony, my friend. But the FSU dating does not give impressive results. The number of fails must be like gazillion.

P.S. Omega seems to be a clever guy. He asks good questions, he investigates. Tho I dunno him personaly.

[yankee]

AJ, you mentioned recent marriages.

Congrats to you! I never denied that there are good FSUW!

However, how many WM were succesful VS failures? Statistics?

I read the thread Members married within the past three years.

And how many guys are there? 5? What a success!

Sorry for my irony, my friend. But the FSU dating does not give impressive results. The number of fails must be like gazillion.

P.S. Omega seems to be a clever guy. He asks good questions, he investigates. Tho I dunno him personaly.

Statistics may work anyway you want.  The woman I married was the first woman I chated with and that was almost 10 years ago.  So my approach was 100% successful.

[Danchik]

Nikola Tesla was a genius and he died forgotten in misery. Paris Hilton is a brainless bimbo and everyone likes her, she's full of undeserved cash etc. there are milions of examples but lets not complicate. thats not the topic anyway so lets forget it. Good people always win, yeah in disneyland

Stop looking at what others do, or who others are. If you're not getting the results you want, you need to look at...yourself!!

And going strictly on your posts, it doesn't take a genius to understand why you're having problems. Stop blaming others (RW and their so-called attitudes for example), stop looking at the percentages of others, stop taking about Nikola Tesla, Beckham, Paris Hilton, or Austin Powers (they have nothing to do with anything) and start working on why YOU are not getting the results you want.

Nobody has ever said it was easy to find the right partner in Russia, or locally for that matter. It can be extremely frustrating at times, but it all starts and ends with you, period.

[yankee]

Nikola Tesla was a genius and he died forgotten in misery. Paris Hilton is a brainless bimbo and everyone likes her, she's full of undeserved cash etc. there are milions of examples but lets not complicate. thats not the topic anyway so lets forget it. Good people always win, yeah in disneyland

Stop looking at what others do, or who others are. If you're not getting the results you want, you need to look at...yourself!!

And going strictly on your posts, it doesn't take a genius to understand why you're having problems. Stop blaming others (RW and their so-called attitudes for example), stop looking at the percentages of others, stop taking about Nikola Tesla, Beckham, Paris Hilton, or Austin Powers (they have nothing to do with anything) and start working on why YOU are not getting the results you want.

Nobody has ever said it was easy to find the right partner in Russia, or locally for that matter. It can be extremely frustrating at times, but it all starts and ends with you, period.

+1

[TomT]

I wrote a whole DOCTORAL THESIS in english, which is not my native language and it included elements from: sociology, psychology, ethnology, history, geography, economy etc.

I'd love to read your DOCTORAL THESIS. Please post a link to the scholarly journal in which it's published.

[AJ]

However, how many WM were succesful VS failures? Statistics?

I agree that  ratio has likely always been horrendous,
yet I doubt its changed significantly.

Was bad, is still bad or yes perhaps worse.

That said:
You seem to like research-
Do you have the statistics for domestic engagements that do not end in marriage?

How about for domestic relationships started that don't end in marriage?
 I'm sure its quite low as well.

Some member of the forums used to be a wedding coordinator, it was amazing just how many deposits he got to retain.. enough that he really dint need anyone to get married for the business to be very very good.


To your point, yes, I would think cross cultural long distance relationships even more prone to disintegrating before matrimony.
The risk averse, shouldn't pursue a cross cultural long distance relationship.

The fact 5 members already posted within a day that they were married in the last 3 years is pretty good,considering the amount of active members, married members or members who have actually made a trip.

For some even slightly meaningful comparison wouldn't you, or Omega, have to poll how many seriously were looking, made a trip, and started a relationship with an FSUW in the last 3 years that dint turn out?
and see how many post in the same time frame?

Hey i'm not knocking  it, I'm curious as well..

[Larry]

For some even slightly meaningful comparison wouldn't you, or Omega, have to poll how many seriously were looking, made a trip, and started a relationship with an FSUW in the last 3 years that dint turn out?
and see how many post in the same time frame?

Hey i'm not knocking  it, I'm curious as well..

I too am curious about this. Perhaps a poll could be created.  AJ, how would you word such a poll to elicit the information you want to see?

[AJ]

For some even slightly meaningful comparison wouldn't you, or Omega, have to poll how many seriously were looking, made a trip, and started a relationship with an FSUW in the last 3 years that dint turn out?
and see how many post in the same time frame?

Hey i'm not knocking  it, I'm curious as well..

I too am curious about this. Perhaps a poll could be created.  AJ, how would you word such a poll to elicit the information you want to see?

Probably with way too many words.

[Larry]

For some even slightly meaningful comparison wouldn't you, or Omega, have to poll how many seriously were looking, made a trip, and started a relationship with an FSUW in the last 3 years that dint turn out?
and see how many post in the same time frame?

Hey i'm not knocking  it, I'm curious as well..

I too am curious about this. Perhaps a poll could be created.  AJ, how would you word such a poll to elicit the information you want to see?

Probably with way too many words.

As I was typing that I said to myself, "What the hell am I suggesting?".    But I can always edit it down.