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Author Topic: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW  (Read 36318 times)

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Offline welder

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #25 on: October 02, 2014, 02:13:24 AM »
Welder, I'm not searching anymore. I just shared my opinion. It's well founded on experience and I'll not change it. Now I'm on dating sites just to kill time. Also, we have pretty girls in my country. We make sexy time with no strings attached, cause they are "independent".
 
I wanted to write a sort of "e-book". Not for the members,  of course, but for newbies and guests. If you think this all sux, close this thread. I dunno who's the mod.

Fair enough Longing.  I respect the effort you made in sharing your opinion.  I don't agree with it but that's the spirit of the forum, sharing our experiences. 

Experience can be your silent enemy.  If your experience is such that it limits your opinions and thinking than it works against you.  If you can step back and use your experiences in a new way that minimizes repeating old habits or by considering adapting those efforts to open new doors experience can move you forward rather quickly. 

This is not an "ebook" or personal blog so it is only fair, and expected, that new guests and members read alternate opinions, debate why you may have arrived at your conclusions and let folks decide for themselves. 

I don't see a reason to close the thread.  To date is has been healthy debate where members just don't roll over and accept what has been posted as gospel.  You should welcome that debate as it provides an avenue to drive home your opinion based on your experience and force you, me and others reading and posting, to broaden our view.

Offline welder

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #26 on: October 02, 2014, 02:38:13 AM »
As he has pointed out several times the "old" timers here are out of touch-- funny how are few jumped straight into thread !!
Really Jay?  Where have the so called "old " timers been out of touch on this topic, specifically? 

Longing presented an opinion which has been debated.   If his opinion and conclusions are accurate they will withstand debate.  Would it make you happier if everyone just rolls over an accepts everything written as gospel? 

Offline Slumba

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #27 on: October 02, 2014, 05:27:21 AM »
There is some truth in what you say, however, my experience (so far) has been that it is easy to filter out such women. 

Are there "proud-to-be-bitches" - yes. 

Of course, even the well-read person such as yourself will remember Chaucer's Wife of Bath and realize this is not a new discovery. ("What women most desire is sovereignty over their husbands" is the upshot, in case it has been a while for you.)

You might want to have a look at Edward Bernays or the TV series https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Century_of_the_Self which deals with how corporations and others have influenced societies, including US/UK and now, Russian society also.

My view is that non-married women, spend more on high-profit items, so those who would benefit from that, promote it.
Anchors Rewoven


Offline JayH

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #28 on: October 02, 2014, 05:48:34 AM »
As he has pointed out several times the "old" timers here are out of touch-- funny how are few jumped straight into thread !!
Really Jay?  Where have the so called "old " timers been out of touch on this topic, specifically? 

Longing presented an opinion which has been debated.   If his opinion and conclusions are accurate they will withstand debate.  Would it make you happier if everyone just rolls over an accepts everything written as gospel?
    No-- it would not make me "happier" -- look at the way replies are framed. The OP has obviously gone to a lot of effort to write that post as a 'think' piece and in my view it is an interesting piece of work .His conclusions are attacked and dismissed-- by those same people the OP mentions. Do they feel threatened by others with knowledge? With those that reach conclusions>? There is no evidence that the OP was on the forum 15 years ago to get the benefit of the collective wisdom- so his views are contemporary.
    In summary-- many things do and have changed in Ukraine since many here were there. That is virtually in every aspect of life and attitudes. Given that the OP comments were mostly about younger generation girls --that is something that some here would never connect with--let alone understand.One of the problems you have( although you are younger than the old phaffers I was referring to) is that a very narrow view of who can know anything is taken  ie  closed minds to others who do have actual on the ground current experience . The OP has made some observations -- a lot of which I would agree with-even if I would not necessarily express in the same way.
I am also heavily restricted on what I can say here as I am so rude and ill mannered-so difficult to give examples if I want the post to appear. :)

Offline AKA Luke

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #29 on: October 02, 2014, 07:17:26 AM »
AJ, I have never used MOB agencies in my life. That's not for me. However I was reading their bullshit online. You know they have articles on their sites like: "why FSUW are superior to WW, they have the mysterious russian soul, they make borsch and babies".

And there are always fake testimonials, photos of blondes in bikinis, who "cannot find quality men". They post such crap to attract new customers, but I was never one of them. I have a well developed bullshit detector. I have never been scammed in my life.

What I used were honest dating sites. One was a pay site aimed at WM and the rest were all russian sites: Loveplanet, Mamba and social networks: VK, Odnoklassniki, Moy mir etc. I also met some FSU women without internet (e.g. on trains, planes, caffes etc.). I don't need wingmen, agencies or translators.


You need a reality check.

Why?

You appear to be in another world.

Yeah there's bitchy girls everywhere, how you've found that many is anyone's guess.

Change tactics and try again Go hard or go home.

When I went to Russia I met several girls, 1 was a bit of an airhead who i met in a club who called herself Maria Versace as she loved everything versace. She was a bit of a diva to say the least. We connected on social media, she was great to look at but not for me as above. All the other girls I bumped into in various places were lovely. 

You can slate them all or take a look at what you're doing wrong and why you feel hard done by?
I know I am I'm sure I am I'm Rotherham til I die!

Offline TomT

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #30 on: October 02, 2014, 07:29:40 AM »
TomT , y r u so angry? It's futile, yes. So what? We're just talking. I wanted to write a sort of "e-book". Not for the members,  of course, but for newbies and guests. If you think this all sux, close this thread. I dunno who's the mod.

1) I'm not angry; I've just been in a foul mood for the last fifty years.

2) You avoided answering my question about what you've learned in the past three years.

3) You will come off as a guru if your audience consists only of those who know nothing and a wack-job.

4) It's not within my purview to close the thread; at best, I can only make recommendations.

5) I wouldn't lock the thread, even if I had the authority to do so, because your attraction to bitches is engrossing.
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline longingforthesouth

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #31 on: October 02, 2014, 10:21:52 AM »
PLEASE READ CAREFULLY. I WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE (Like in the 'Allo 'Allo comedy series)

Yes, there are wonderful FSUW. I experienced that. But this thread is about the bad things.

I'm trying to answer everyone and the discussion goes on forever. Things are repeated, cause some discutants didn't read my text. They are telling me what I know or give me advices, that I never asked for.

The text was not only about bitchiness, but you all stick to it. Also, when I say "bitch" I don't mean only divas. Their behaviour is copied even by poor girls. And even single mothers!

There are experienced men here and I respect them. But some lived in the FSU 15-20 years ago when it was different. Their first encounter with FSUW was not through a PC. Most WM do not have such experience. And things changed since 1994 or 2004.

You are debunking myths here for years. Kudos for that. But even now, in 2014, there are WM who are misguided by such myths. There are problems. Plus things change. All this contributes to the demise of FSU dating. Others share my opinion:

I QUOTE ANOTHER MEMBER. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY:

The idea of international marriage is over in Belarus.  You can say it is basically non existent.  I have met several nice ladies, and most are curious but not serious.  Most have openly told me they are not willing to leave their friends and family.  Many have degrees and hold good jobs here and they know they might not be able to re validate their degree in the USA.

I came here to meet her, planned the works, gifts for her daughter, parents, planned places to see, we were planning family dinners, etc.  When I get her I realize she has a very demanding concept of money, she likes to drink and dance in clubs and basically I asked her to leave my apartment after the second day.

I had dinner with a woman I had initially written to in 2012.  She even told me that a few years back many americans came and found wives, but that the numbers plummeted recently. I don't blame them.  If you find an American man interesting and you also find your local neighbor interesting, and your national economy has improved, you will marry your local man next door because you do not have to leave your culture and friends. 

The economy here has improved and woman do not want to leave their culture, family, friends and career.  This is understandable.  If I meet a woman and she likes me just as much as she likes her neighbor she will choose her neighbor with whom she can have a conversation.  I even met a woman that told me she was only interested in Belarusian men because she is patriotic.

I don't know this man personaly, but he seems 100% reasonable. You don't want to hear what guys like him are saying. There are many like them.

You tell them that "there's something wrong with them" and to "look in the mirror". I'm looking in the mirror whole day and I fall in love with it.

What some of you do really sickens me. E.g. someone offended this man by calling him "trailer trash". Enough is enough! Now let's grow up and admit that there are problems.

That's why I decided to make that "e-book". It's not nothing professional, but if you describe the problems in a more "in your face" style, it may save many WM nerves, emotions and money.

I hope that you finally understood my point. If not, then there must be something really wrong with you and you must look yourself in the mirror blah-blah. Just joking.
Travelling to Russia and Ukraine since 2005.

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #32 on: October 02, 2014, 11:23:27 AM »
AJ, I have never used MOB agencies in my life. That's not for me. However I was reading their bullshit online. You know they have articles on their sites like: "why FSUW are superior to WW, they have the mysterious russian soul, they make borsch and babies".

And there are always fake testimonials, photos of blondes in bikinis, who "cannot find quality men". They post such crap to attract new customers, but I was never one of them. I have a well developed bullshit detector. I have never been scammed in my life.

What I used were honest dating sites. One was a pay site aimed at WM and the rest were all russian sites: Loveplanet, Mamba and social networks: VK, Odnoklassniki, Moy mir etc. I also met some FSU women without internet (e.g. on trains, planes, caffes etc.). I don't need wingmen, agencies or translators.

You are the main man and we're lucky to have you!  tiphat

Offline Danchik

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #33 on: October 02, 2014, 11:53:44 AM »
I think you'll find that many myths have been debunked over the years here and on other fora. I, for one, have long been saying that doing things the "old" way (circa 2005) is a recipe for failure, if not disaster.

I have also said that if a guy changes his approach, Russia is a goldmine of good-hearted, well-intentioned women whom still adhere to a more traditional, albeit culturally different relationship. And if a man is indeed serious in his intentions, Russia provides such a man with a higher degree of success than America (for example) of finding that woman IMO.

My guess is that I've met many more RW than you (the OP) and most have been a delight. Nevertheless, they are still women, and as such will drive you a little crazy; it's the nature of the beast.

I can safely say that I haven't dated a AW in almost 20 years, and it would take a truly exceptional American women to change my mind and go back. At this time and point of my life, it's not even on the radar, and quite frankly, I have always done much better in Russia and I'm too locked in with RW at the moment.

As I sit in an airport in America at the moment, there are plenty of pretty girls running around, as well as all different types. I have always said there are few things that separate RW from Western women, for example, but those few things are positive, not negative. I'm even more convinced of this as I vacation back home in America.

I'm not sure exactly what another e-book will do, but I doubt you're going to shed any new light on this situation or this forum, that's for sure. If a man, any man, can't or won't take the initiative to find the already current, readily available information on the internet as it stands now; another e-book isn't going to change the playing field. These type of men seem unfazed by anything resembling reality, their grandiose opinion of themselves, or are driven by the unfortunate malady known as loneliness.

You will also not be inventing the wheel, nor saving the world from she devils whose ethnicity is decidedly Slavic/Russian. These women exist in all nationalities and the men who find themselves on the short end of a nightmare relationship, will no doubt end up there regardless of what direction their journey takes them, or what information is available. And it matters not at all whether it's 2005 or 2025 as these things have been happening since the beginning of time. 


When it is dark enough, men see the stars.

Offline AJ

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #34 on: October 02, 2014, 02:11:23 PM »
Quote from: longing
Not all of us can live in the FSU. If you live there dating is easier. Especialy 10-15-20 years ago.

True!! and i'd advise the best way to meet a family oriented FSUW is to go live there.
I agree most can't.

You can imagine i'd take some small  exception to discounting my outlooks on the FSU , based on my experience being dated or *in country*. 
;D
  As I think you missed the part that I restarted dating in 2010, while living in the USA, through the very means most here would utilize, met FSUW through those, did the whole email, skype, phone, fly into the FSU  city to meet, then more trips etc etc.
All the same hassles you mentioned, the same cultural challenges.Do you think i missed noticing the MOB agency shananingans, the general FSU culture, or a subset of stervas you brought up as well?? Trust me I know those recent challenges well.In fact I watched the changes from a pretty clear vantage point.

 Sure its challenging,yet I did meet my wife this way, and it's fairly  recent experience, with a women listed at an agency,contacted initially through a *monitor* ,and then meeting her, her family ,friends ,and acquaintances there.

You taking the time to warn men looking into this,
of the pitfalls,  I agree with , and commend, so don't take me wrong.


However,  I felt your take seemed a tad jaded (so does Omegas whom you quoted,  and I've stated so in his threads as well)

It's a forum, I feel there are a lot of good FSUW,but yes the challenge is to contact them and build a relationship.

Perhaps I see the glass  completely full. (of water or air)
and am too optimistic.Perhaps easy for me top be so, since I'm happily married.My wife just randomly  texted that she adores me, and a pic of our newborn.;)
 So regard my posts as simply an attempt to present some balance, to what i felt a perhaps accurate but jaded outlook, I think Danchik's post does as well.

Despite the pitfalls, which seem more tiresome than dangerous, I couldn't be happier that I still took the time and effort  to look into the FSU.
she had a hip with bad habits , and a shake that was a bit obscene

Offline TomT

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #35 on: October 02, 2014, 03:11:27 PM »
However,  I felt your take seemed a tad jaded (so does Omegas whom you quoted,  and I've stated so in his threads as well)


I agree with upsylon to a large degree.
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Offline AKA Luke

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #36 on: October 02, 2014, 03:17:13 PM »
Quote from: longing
Not all of us can live in the FSU. If you live there dating is easier. Especialy 10-15-20 years ago.


However,  I felt your take seemed a tad jaded (so does Omegas whom you quoted,  and I've stated so in his threads as well)

Who earlier started a thread to try and prove the landscape has changed so badly that nobody has been married in the last 3 years, which fell flat on its arse after 4 comments.

I seldom post on this forum but do browse and it makes a change to see some non political threads.
However, when most follow the same topic of 'its all a scam/they aren't serious/it's changed so much since the good old days(that I've read about)/they aren't desperate for an American/European/they're bitches' it's just tedious.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but the truth often is. Some  people/posts make for painful reading.

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Online rosco

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #37 on: October 02, 2014, 03:28:54 PM »
I agree with upsylon to a large degree.

Oops. Not exactly the type one would like to associate with!

I tend to agree with Luke here. The mob business may or may not be dead, the dating game in the FSU may or may not have changed beyond all recognition and longingforthesouth may or may not be correct in his assumptions. However what I know, is that there are plenty single ladies looking for guys, all over the world.

As this forum is about the FSU, I know for a fact that one can marry a lady from these parts, not all ladies from these parts are bitches and the dating game is most certainly not dead. Guys continually looking for bitches will find bitches. Guys looking for their other half will eventually find their other half......

Who said this pursuit was difficult??  :fighting0025:

Offline longingforthesouth

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #38 on: October 02, 2014, 04:07:51 PM »
I agree with upsylon to a large degree.

Oops. Not exactly the type one would like to associate with!


Is this flaming TomT and Rosco? If yes, then you shold look yourself in a mirror, but better not, cause it will break from your ancient beauty (you look like Trojan horses). You bad men, no cosy home for you! Just kidding. Let the kids play.

That sentence was taken out of context by TomT so he could discredit me? I agreed with lots of things that Upsylon wrote 3 years ago. He had balls to tell the truth like that kid from "The Emperor's New Clothes". The problem was his style.

If you open that old thread, you would notice that me and Upsylon were expressing ourselves differently. He was more like angry. Sometimes he didn't choose his words, but he made good points. Unlike him, I choose to be more constructive.

TomT and Rosco, what do you choose to be? I wrote a whole DOCTORAL THESIS in english, which is not my native language and it included elements from: sociology, psychology, ethnology, history, geography, economy etc. What do you have to say on the subject except defocusing?
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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #39 on: October 02, 2014, 04:14:34 PM »
Yawn.  :Zzzzsleep:

Offline TomT

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #40 on: October 02, 2014, 04:18:59 PM »
That sentence was taken out of context by TomT so he could discredit me?

I deliberately made no comment so that readers could click on that link and draw their own conclusions.


I wrote a whole DOCTORAL THESIS in english, which is not my native language and it included elements from: sociology, psychology, ethnology, history, geography, economy etc.

If you are a wealth of information and wisdom, it will be self-evident; there is no need to promote yourself so vigorously.
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Offline Manny

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #41 on: October 02, 2014, 04:21:13 PM »
I wrote a whole DOCTORAL THESIS in english, which is not my native language and it included elements from: sociology, psychology, ethnology, history, geography, economy etc. What do you have to say on the subject except defocusing?

I eschewed the viva voce and went right for the practical. 
please tell me where I'm being / have been 'dishonest'? 
Yes, he said that.........

Offline longingforthesouth

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #42 on: October 02, 2014, 04:29:00 PM »
the older members of this forum are married and they are not up-to-date with the current trends. They are very biased and they always take it personally when someone dares to criticise the FSUW. Some guys here are directly involved in the dating industry (they own sites or agencies) and they do not allow any criticism. That renders a productive debate impossible.

I always predict things correctly....
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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #43 on: October 02, 2014, 04:31:26 PM »
Are you suggesting that I'm one of the older members, who isn't up to date with current trends?

Perhaps you aren't as good as you'd like to have us think?

Offline longingforthesouth

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #44 on: October 02, 2014, 04:33:33 PM »
Are you suggesting that I'm one of the older members, who isn't up to date with current trends?

Perhaps you aren't as good as you'd like to have us think?

Yawn.  :Zzzzsleep:
Travelling to Russia and Ukraine since 2005.

Offline sashathecat

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #45 on: October 02, 2014, 06:08:16 PM »
So, what exactly are the current trends for dating in the FSU? Help us salty old dogs understand.

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #46 on: October 02, 2014, 06:55:07 PM »
 :'( :dh: :censored: :censored: :censored:
There is nothing permanent except change.

Offline longingforthesouth

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #47 on: October 02, 2014, 07:23:46 PM »
So, what exactly are the current trends for dating in the FSU? Help us salty old dogs understand.

It's easy. You must be able to milk birds, you must look like Daniel Radcliffe's brother and you must have a haircut like Limahl from Kajagoogoo. You will have to sell your house and car in the US and move to a khrushchyovka without an elevator in Pohuevo, Kurdistan. Then MAYBE the girl will like you and you will get married if her local boyfriend allows, of course. Or her local girlfriend. Also you must be a sexually experienced virgin.
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Offline sashathecat

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #48 on: October 02, 2014, 08:04:52 PM »
I did not find it that hard to be honest. Sure there are some batches, but most of the FSUW I met were very nice. Most were down to Earth and although the scene has probably changed since the nineties it was still a much better place to look for me.

I am pretty up to date on current trends as all my wife's friends are presently dating and in their twenties. I would say it moreso depends on the clique you run into like anywhere else in the world.

Offline TomT

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Re: Sex, Lies and Videotape: Deconstructing the myths about FSUW
« Reply #49 on: October 02, 2014, 08:47:04 PM »
I always predict things correctly....

It's not difficult to predict that there will be an absence of productive debate.

It's easy. You must be able to milk birds, you must look like Daniel Radcliffe's brother and you must have a haircut like Limahl from Kajagoogoo. You will have to sell your house and car in the US and move to a khrushchyovka without an elevator in Pohuevo, Kurdistan. Then MAYBE the girl will like you and you will get married if her local boyfriend allows, of course. Or her local girlfriend. Also you must be a sexually experienced virgin.

I believe that this falls under the category of self-fulfilling prophesy.
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)


 

 

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