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Author Topic: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?  (Read 8921 times)

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Offline FredHill

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Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« on: September 23, 2014, 01:01:02 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

Online andrewfi

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2014, 02:38:27 AM »
I think the word 'hate' may not mean quite what you think it does.

But if by 'some' you mean that there are mentally ill people, some of whom are women who are very anti social then, well, of course they exist, but they are mentally ill.

If you are one of the people you define as being good, kind, decent and you keep meeting mentally ill people then you might want to change your line of work or your lifestyle - or re-examine your self assessment.

Normal people tend to NOT hate other people. Normal people are not openly hostile toward other people.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Ade

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2014, 02:39:23 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

I think you will find it a very rare thing indeed that a woman actually hates "good, kind, decent men".

If you're finding that women are dissing you in particular, perhaps they see something in you that you haven't seen yourself.

Edit: lol, I see Andrew an I think likewise...


Offline WOVO

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2014, 04:22:52 AM »
I think he meant women always attract to "bad image" men.   "Good guys always come last"  the old saying

Online andrewfi

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2014, 05:40:48 AM »
I think he meant women always attract to "bad image" men.   "Good guys always come last"  the old saying

Well, that's not what he wrote and it is not a true statement either. ;)
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline BelleZeBoob

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2014, 05:45:50 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

When I read the thread subject, my initial thought was that there is something wrong with the question. However, when I read the words saying that some women are openly hostile towards the obviously good men, I'thought that you mean something particular.

Before I recommend you to read the theory about the so called alpha and omega males, would you be so kind to give a few examples of such behavior of female hostility towards the good men?
Men are like Bluetooth: he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away.
Women are like Wi-Fi: she sees all available devices, but connects to the strongest one.

Offline Fashionista

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2014, 07:31:49 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

Perhaps, a second glance makes it even worse?  :8)

Offline Annushka

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2014, 08:59:47 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

Please activate the imagination. Dating - it's shopping. Online Dating - shop. Potential bride should try all new things for themselves. How do you think the woman immediately make a choice?  :knit:

Offline GriffinCO

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2014, 09:05:31 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

I'm not a Russian woman, but I think I can offer some useful insight here...

Inner qualities come out over time.  I have to assume this is a specific experience you're having.  Based on your other posts I'm going to read into the entire scenario to offer what insight I can.

1.  It's a numbers game - start canvasing and find someone that likes your outer looks well enough to invest the time to learn your outer qualities.  This comes out with shared experiences.  So the only way she'll get to know them is if you're spending enough time with her...in person.

2.  Odds are better with a tighter age bracket.  Not to say you can't find a 25 y/o hottie who finds you adorable.  Just understand that percentage-wise you may have to do a LOT more canvassing.  Less so with women closer to your age.  Some people get on the whole "date close to your looks" thing too.  Confidence is a lot of what makes a man attractive, so I don't read as much into that.  Which brings me to point #3.

3.  Women love confidence, especially FSUW.  If you don't exhibit that quality, good luck.  She'll wonder how you will provide for her, protect her and not let her run all over you.  You don't have to be an asshole, but you do have to be a leader (in some regards at least.)

And if you don't like those answers...well perhaps you should cast a wider net to other parts of the world as well.  :)  Regardless, find what works for YOU and where the odds are best for your strengths and work from there.

Luck!

Offline Halo

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2014, 09:15:12 AM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

Why is such a man interested in women who are openly hostile to him?  Why does he keep barking up the wrong tree?  Is he looking only at outer beauty and ignoring those quality women in his midst who may not package themselves as proficiently?  Is his apparent angst over this state of affairs a case of arrested development?  Or is he a masochist?

Offline AJ

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2014, 12:16:42 PM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

The real question should be why would such a man  worry about *some* women?

Those women likely don't hate that type of man, they may simply not be interested romantically- that's a huge difference.

Even at that, the *some* would seem a minority, so the majority of the female population  would neither hate that type, nor avoid them for romance.

Such a man has precious little to worry about if his interests and expectations are realistic.
(meaning if he seeks women in the same socio/economic status, and relative attractiveness)
she had a hip with bad habits , and a shake that was a bit obscene

Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2014, 01:26:37 PM »
I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

FH, some women are hardwired to pursue the bad boys. They say they want a nice
guy but then they bed the bad boys. Forget about those women, if a woman wants
to reform bad boys let her go do it and dump her like overly ripe fish guts. Don't try
to reform girls who like bad boys they are like crack heads, they lie their asses off
and go back to them again and again. Dump them and never look back. Do NOT
recycle girls.

Fortunately most FSUW have met enough bad boys to know they can't be reformed.
If an FSUW is over 28 she has met enough bad boys to have them out of her system
for good.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline sashathecat

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2014, 02:07:31 PM »
The real question should be why would such a man  worry about *some* women?

 :thumbsup:

There are plenty of women who are looking for nice guys.

Offline TomT

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2014, 02:59:48 PM »
I'm not a Russian woman, but I think I can offer some useful insight here...

Inner qualities come out over time.  I have to assume this is a specific experience you're having.  Based on your other posts I'm going to read into the entire scenario to offer what insight I can.

1.  It's a numbers game - start canvasing and find someone that likes your outer looks well enough to invest the time to learn your [inner] outer qualities.  This comes out with shared experiences.  So the only way she'll get to know them is if you're spending enough time with her...in person.

2.  Odds are better with a tighter age bracket.  Not to say you can't find a 25 y/o hottie who finds you adorable.  Just understand that percentage-wise you may have to do a LOT more canvassing.  Less so with women closer to your age.  Some people get on the whole "date close to your looks" thing too.  Confidence is a lot of what makes a man attractive, so I don't read as much into that.  Which brings me to point #3.

3.  Women love confidence, especially FSUW.  If you don't exhibit that quality, good luck.  She'll wonder how you will provide for her, protect her and not let her run all over you.  You don't have to be an asshole, but you do have to be a leader (in some regards at least.)

And if you don't like those answers...well perhaps you should cast a wider net to other parts of the world as well.  :)  Regardless, find what works for YOU and where the odds are best for your strengths and work from there.

Luck!
"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline SOUTHERN X

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #14 on: September 23, 2014, 07:17:08 PM »
I'm not talking about fawning, obsequious wimps, or manipulative scumbags who pretend to be nice. I'm talking about honest, down-to-earth guys who treat everybody with kindness and respect. The kind of man who'd stop to comfort a crying child or help an old lady onto a train. Why are some women openly hostile towards this type of male, dismissing them as weak, spineless and inferior? I mean, they may not be drop-dead handsome, but surely their innate qualities make them worth a second glance --

something about your posts is askew to me fred
maybe some self exploration would be wise ?

SX

Offline FredHill

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2014, 12:03:33 AM »
Why is such a man interested in women who are openly hostile to him?  Why does he keep barking up the wrong tree?

He isn't actively seeking hostile women. Being friendly and sociable by nature, he bumps into dozens of people on a daily basis. The law of averages predicts at least some of them will be female.

At this point, he has no idea that they view him with contempt, as he hasn't done anything to deserve it.

The hostility only becomes apparent when a totally harmless comment such as "Would you like a cup of coffee?" is answered with "Don't f---ing waste my time, you pathetic loser!"

Is he looking only at outer beauty and ignoring those quality women in his midst who may not package themselves as proficiently?
 

No, he's just being friendly, the same way he is with everybody. He doesn't judge by appearances, and he often invites his acquaintances out for lunch, dinner or drinks, regardless of their looks.

Is his apparent angst over this state of affairs a case of arrested development?  Or is he a masochist?

There is no angst involved, as he doesn't hold grudges. His tolerant, impartial nature suggests a high degree of maturity. As stated above, he isn't actively seeking out hostile women, so he clearly isn't a masochist.

Offline Ade

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #16 on: September 24, 2014, 12:32:47 AM »
I don't know, someone talking in the third person all the time when he's referring to himself is enough to freak anyone out. Perhaps if you didn't, you'd actually get a date.

Online andrewfi

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #17 on: September 24, 2014, 03:05:35 AM »
Fred, what is your advice to the person to who you are referring?
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline FredHill

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #18 on: September 24, 2014, 03:40:40 AM »
Fred, what is your advice to the person to who you are referring?

I have no desire to offer advice to anybody. I'm simply curious to know why otherwise rational women would display a completely irrational animosity towards men who've done nothing to harm them.

Offline JayH

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #19 on: September 24, 2014, 04:16:28 AM »
I don't know, someone talking in the third person all the time when he's referring to himself is enough to freak anyone out. Perhaps if you didn't, you'd actually get a date.

Well- one would  do that  if they had adopted a new forum persona  and saw their creation as real  other person !!
Seriously-- how much forum space has been consumed with his inane propositions already .

Online andrewfi

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #20 on: September 24, 2014, 06:11:43 AM »
If you have no desire to help this other person then why on earth ask for guidance into his issue? Seems like a terrible waste of time and more than a little selfish.

If the person is actually you then why not refer to yourself?
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline FredHill

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #21 on: September 24, 2014, 07:02:02 AM »
If you have no desire to help this other person then why on earth ask for guidance into his issue?

I have not requested guidance, Andrew.  I have simply asked for information, prompted by an interest in the contradictions of human relationships.

Seriously-- how much forum space has been consumed with his inane propositions already .

The psychologically verified inanities of interpersonal relationships are quite fascinating, and have been the subject of considerable scientific research. Numerous studies of the phenomena are currently available, you can easily look them up online if you have the time or inclination to do so.


Offline 2tallbill

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Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #22 on: September 24, 2014, 07:32:11 AM »
I have no desire to offer advice to anybody. I'm simply curious to know why otherwise rational women would display a completely irrational animosity towards men who've done nothing to harm them.

Men have so far developed 124 various theories about women. Unfortunately they
are all wrong. Women either don't know what they want or won't truthfully say.
Asking especially a Western Woman what she wants is only slightly more productive
than asking a Chinese speaking parrot what it wants. If the WW/Parrot tells you,
you wouldn't understand anyway.

The hostility only becomes apparent when a totally harmless comment such as "Would you like a cup of coffee?" is answered with "Don't f---ing waste my time, you pathetic loser!"

This guy you are describing is unable to read any signals that women send out.
He should study, body language and work more at social interaction. Communication
is a two way street and over 80% is nonverbal. This guy needs to learn and study
nonverbal communication. He has nearly zero empathy, or he would know that the
girl had less than zero interest in him.

He should totally avoid FSUW unless he has a wingman guiding him every step of
the way.

FSUW are not for entry level daters. This guy is like a 14 year old boy who just figured
out that he likes girls.

Udachi!

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online andrewfi

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #23 on: September 24, 2014, 09:34:36 AM »
Fred, you may have a poor understanding of English that is confusing you. If we share information with you then by doing so we are providing guidance - guiding you toward insight or a solution by providing information that adds to your knowledge.

Be honest with us. Why do you insist on trying to claim that you are asking questions about 3rd parties when it is clearly about you?

Why on earth would you ask about something that happened to a friend of yours and then claim that you'd not pass on your new knowledge. It is hard to imagine a normally socialised person who could be so selfish.

...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Annushka

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Re: Why do some women hate good, kind, decent men?
« Reply #24 on: September 24, 2014, 09:59:20 AM »
Quote
Udachi!

Главное - чтобы костюмчик сидел! :-*