The World's #1 Russian, Ukrainian & Eastern European Discussion & Information Forum - RUA!

This Is the Premier Discussion Forum on the Net for Information and Discussion about Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe and the Former Soviet Union. Discuss Culture, Politics, Travelling, Language, International Relationships and More. Chat with Travellers, Locals, Residents and Expats. Ask and Answer Questions about Travel, Culture, Relationships, Applying for Visas, Translators, Interpreters, and More. Give Advice, Read Trip Reports, Share Experiences and Make Friends.

Author Topic: To speak her language  (Read 8482 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Maxx

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4122
  • Country: ge
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 5-10
To speak her language
« on: August 07, 2014, 07:10:48 PM »
I have noticed every Russian woman I ever have tried to speak Russian to tells me to stop. Since I get the pronunciation wrong on most every multi-syllable word it must be unpleasant for them having me slaughtering their language so. So ladies, do you like your husbands or fiancees trying to speak your language? And when they say Russian words in a Western accent with scrambled sentence structure is it cute, adorable and sexy to you? I know I am not alone in this but us men appreciate some imperfection, "I go by legs" "com-FORT-table" and "You say me" is just to cute to correct. 

Men, please feel free to weigh in here. 

Offline Larry

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 5853
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Status: Just Looking
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2014, 07:27:40 PM »
"You say me" is one of my favorites. 

I haven't heard "I go by legs" but I used to hear "I go by feet".

Offline Maxx

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4122
  • Country: ge
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2014, 07:49:00 PM »
"You say me" is one of my favorites. 


It is usually the first three words you hear before they accuse you of either being a hypocrite or failing to keep your promises.


Offline Annushka

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 994
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2014, 08:52:20 PM »
Как-то так.  ;D :ROFL:


Как говорят в Dating: ХИМИЯ!  :chuckle: :ROFL:

Offline Annushka

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 994
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2014, 09:35:42 PM »

Offline mendeleyev

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12849
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2014, 03:02:02 AM »
Maxx, I believe that in general they appreciate men who genuinely try.

But there is also a point of exasperation, too. I've had native English speakers ask me if I understand "goobly gook blah blah." If I don't understand the broken Russian phrase they've just uttered butchered, some seem offended. I can imagine that sometimes we Westerners make the ladies feel the same.

There is also a difference between some someone who genuinely seeks to learn, versus a "party" learner, for lack of a better description. There is always the immature clown who marches up and says, "Teach me to cuss in Russian." To which I often reply, "Why? Is that more important than learning to say hello, please, thank you, etc?" I am certain that you have not done this, but any Russian speaker who has some contact at some point with English speakers will have had to endure that conversation.

However, a woman who values the relationship with a man, almost 1000 percent of the time appreciates his efforts, and is willing to help him improve, if he is capable of receiving her help. You and I know that some of us men just do not want suggestions, corrections, etc, from a lady.

I know that you are contemplating a move and when you arrive in Russia, you're going to step into an environment that is much more hostile to Westerners than at any time since the 1990s. Walking around and speaking only English isn't a great idea because questions of why you are here, and the tolerance you'll be shown, will be in direct proportion to how politely you interact with others. So, learn and practice.

Street signs, billboard advertising and business signage are great ways to make progress. I have asked complete strangers to help me say the words on a sign correctly and have rarely, if ever, been shunned. Russian, and Ukrainian, people are genuine and gracious. They understand that their language is difficult for non-natives, and they respect those who make the effort. If you are sincere in learning and improving, they will be glad to assist you.

For men who are dating: if a female shows no interest in helping you better understand her language, then the issue is not language, and you have more serious concerns than how a word or phrase is spoken.

A word about grammar for dating guys: at some point it is you who will be the teacher. If you do not understand the difference between "your" and "you're" or between "their" and "there" and "they're," then she will question your worth as a teacher. If you cannot use a comma, or period, then you are toast and her respect for you will plummet.

Russain/Ukrainian gals who learn English as a second language have the potential of becoming some of the most obnoxious grammar queens on the planet. In her culture, bad grammar is a sign of illiteracy, and that is despicable in her eyes. No, you will be despicable in her eyes. Grammar and spelling are elementary things in her school experience, and by that I do mean elementary, so if her English becomes significantly better than yours, then she will lose a measure of respect for your character. Russians believe that use of language is one of the key factors used to determine someone's intelligence.


Offline BelleZeBoob

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 1486
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Female
  • Status: Dating
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2014, 06:34:38 AM »

Russain/Ukrainian gals who learn English as a second language have the potential of becoming some of the most obnoxious grammar queens on the planet. In her culture, bad grammar is a sign of illiteracy, and that is despicable in her eyes. No, you will be despicable in her eyes. Grammar and spelling are elementary things in her school experience, and by that I do mean elementary, so if her English becomes significantly better than yours, then she will lose a measure of respect for your character. Russians believe that use of language is one of the key factors used to determine someone's intelligence.


Exactly. You grasped the essence of how Russians perceive mistakes and irregularities in a language.

This also explains why Russians are shy of speaking with an accent. The perception that you described works now the other way around. When we know that we speak in a less than perfect English, meaning not quite up to its 'standard' that is usually heard on the radio or TV, we believe that we are perceived as uneducated, uncultured, or intellectually challenged. If we are asked to repeat what we just said, it appears to us like we are being mentally retarded, as therefore, as you said, despicable. Feels awkward  :(

It is hard for us to believe that a foreign accent may sound cute or sexy.  :(
Men are like Bluetooth: he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away.
Women are like Wi-Fi: she sees all available devices, but connects to the strongest one.

Offline Maxx

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4122
  • Country: ge
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #7 on: August 10, 2014, 12:22:54 PM »
Quote
There is always the immature clown who marches up and says, "Teach me to cuss in Russian." To which I often reply, "Why? Is that more important than learning to say hello, please, thank you, etc?" I am certain that you have not done this, but any Russian speaker who has some contact at some point with English speakers will have had to endure that conversation.

This is the first time I have used multi quote. I know a guy who thinks it's funny to cuss in Russian. His GCG ex-wife and her teenager taught him. I tell him I have no interest in learning those words.

Quote
I know that you are contemplating a move and when you arrive in Russia, you're going to step into an environment that is much more hostile to Westerners than at any time since the 1990s. Walking around and speaking only English isn't a great idea because questions of why you are here, and the tolerance you'll be shown, will be in direct proportion to how politely you interact with others. So, learn and practice.

I take pride in being able to blend in.

http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=1327.msg15369;highlight=master#msg15369

Me from September 27, 2007
Quote
Another time I and my [ex-]wife stayed with a babushka for a couple of days in her apartment in Moscow. We shared her bathroom and kitchen with her. My name was "Dima" and the rent per day was only 150 rubles. I was the strong silent RM. She never caught on and the rent stayed at 150 rubles.

And my advise in blending:
Quote
Wear dark clothes, dark patent leather shoes, look like you are attending a funeral in both dress and mannerisms. No gawking, no smiling, keep your mouth shut and make no eye contact. Your hair should be well trimmed. Tapered not blocked. No facial hair. No tattoos. It helps to wear Russian clothes you buy at the Kiosk mall. Especially those clunky shoes with the square toes. Always wear a hat in the winter. If it's a ushanka make sure it is of quality fur not imitation fur that only the poor people and military wear. Carry a Russian language copy of "The Master and Margarita" that is dog eared and worn out. Stick some little pieces of paper sticking out to mark your favorite passages.



Quote
A word about grammar for dating guys: at some point it is you who will be the teacher. If you do not understand the difference between "your" and "you're" or between "their" and "there" and "they're," then she will question your worth as a teacher. If you cannot use a comma, or period, then you are toast and her respect for you will plummet.

Yes, I know what you mean. I figure it might be fun to teach and make a little money besides. And have something to do. However my knowledge of English rules of grammar needs quite a bit of work. So what I did was a found a Russian woman who wants to understand English better. So I give her "tests." Or is it 'tests?' I use this site http://www.grammar.cl We also talk on video Skype almost everyday. It is one-way street though. I promised not to speak any Russian to her unless she grants me permission  :laugh:  (RW are a lot of fun). I am also getting used to Russian frankness. 


Offline Maxx

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4122
  • Country: ge
  • Gender: Male
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2014, 12:52:58 PM »

Exactly. You grasped the essence of how Russians perceive mistakes and irregularities in a language.

This also explains why Russians are shy of speaking with an accent. The perception that you described works now the other way around. When we know that we speak in a less than perfect English, meaning not quite up to its 'standard' that is usually heard on the radio or TV, we believe that we are perceived as uneducated, uncultured, or intellectually challenged. If we are asked to repeat what we just said, it appears to us like we are being mentally retarded, as therefore, as you said, despicable. Feels awkward  :(

It is hard for us to believe that a foreign accent may sound cute or sexy.  :(

America and Canada are nations of immigrants. My grandmother had a Sicilian accent. My great-grand parents had Swedish accents. So we are more tolerate about it. Here only very ignorant and unintelligent people think an accent or broken English is a sign of stupidity. The problem Russian women face here is the Cold War mentality that some of the older people still have and the hostility some have for mail-order-brides. When I think of the former, "the Cold War mentality" it saddens me that a revival of that is happening again.

Quote
It is hard for us to believe that a foreign accent may sound cute or sexy.  :(

People mistake you for a Bond girl and we know they are sexy.

Offline 2tallbill

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 14446
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 10-20
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2014, 06:01:06 PM »
If we are asked to repeat what we just said, it appears to us like we are being mentally retarded, as therefore, as you said, despicable. Feels awkward  :(

Lilia, your English is a thousand times better than my Russian. It's possible that your soft voice
is at least part of the reason that people ask you to repeat yourself. Soft voice + the accent
make it more difficult to understand.

I know that Angel Eyes gets frustrated/embarrassed by the same thing. My sister (who LOVES AE)
asked me to translate what AE said. I told my sister "she said it in English!" I realize that I am very
much more in tune with her accent, but I think if she spoke a little bit louder that my sister would
be able to understand her better.

She knows every single Russian word I know and will talk to me in my caveman baby talk Russian
when she doesn't want anybody else to know what she is saying.

FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline Annushka

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 994
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2014, 08:21:08 PM »
I had a good teacher of English at school. So I have good pronunciation. Since I lived and worked in 10 of the 15 republics of the USSR. Have left an amazing set of foreign words. Knowledge of which I am very lucky to shopping and "İndirim" to Turkey. I do not have the time or desire to sit in the internet for communication. At the moment, I think where to go on vacation in the fall. Or shopping, or amour.  :knit:  :-*

Offline WestCoast

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 8832
  • Country: ca
  • Gender: Male
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2014, 08:32:44 PM »

Russain/Ukrainian gals who learn English as a second language have the potential of becoming some of the most obnoxious grammar queens on the planet. In her culture, bad grammar is a sign of illiteracy, and that is despicable in her eyes. No, you will be despicable in her eyes. Grammar and spelling are elementary things in her school experience, and by that I do mean elementary, so if her English becomes significantly better than yours, then she will lose a measure of respect for your character. Russians believe that use of language is one of the key factors used to determine someone's intelligence.


Exactly. You grasped the essence of how Russians perceive mistakes and irregularities in a language.

This also explains why Russians are shy of speaking with an accent. The perception that you described works now the other way around. When we know that we speak in a less than perfect English, meaning not quite up to its 'standard' that is usually heard on the radio or TV, we believe that we are perceived as uneducated, uncultured, or intellectually challenged. If we are asked to repeat what we just said, it appears to us like we are being mentally retarded, as therefore, as you said, despicable. Feels awkward  :(

It is hard for us to believe that a foreign accent may sound cute or sexy.  :(

Belle you've been in Canada for a couple of years now, you must have seen other foreign women speaking with an accent. I know many Chinese women who speak with an accent and will actually speak with a stronger, exaggerated  accent when flirting. An accent is not going to stop a Canadian born man from asking a woman out.
Ipsa scientia potestas est. Knowledge itself is power.   Sir Francis Bacon

Offline Annushka

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 994
  • Country: ru
  • Gender: Female
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #12 on: August 10, 2014, 09:01:01 PM »
For migrants in Russia.

Please link:
Requirements for the minimum level of knowledge required to pass the exam in Russian language, Russian history and the basics of the Russian legislation.

www.fmsmoscow.ru/docs/work_migration/lhl-requirements.html

Offline Manny

  • Moderator
  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 15865
  • Country: gb
  • Gender: Male
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 20+
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2014, 01:14:05 AM »
A word about grammar for dating guys: at some point it is you who will be the teacher. If you do not understand the difference between "your" and "you're" or between "their" and "there" and "they're," then she will question your worth as a teacher. If you cannot use a comma, or period, then you are toast and her respect for you will plummet.

if her English becomes significantly better than yours, then she will lose a measure of respect for your character.

I know such a couple. She was an English teacher in Russia and he hardly went to school. She has now given up correcting him. Its painful to watch. Sometimes he will say something wrong like "pacifically" when he means "specifically" and she looks at him with such a look of disdain and rolls her eyes.
please tell me where I'm being / have been 'dishonest'? 
Yes, he said that.........

Offline Mikeav8r

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 2711
  • Country: us
  • Gender: Male
  • Keep the shiny side up and the dirty side down...
  • Spouses Country: Russia
  • Status: Married
  • Trips: 5-10
Re: To speak her language
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2014, 10:22:45 AM »
A word about grammar for dating guys: at some point it is you who will be the teacher. If you do not understand the difference between "your" and "you're" or between "their" and "there" and "they're," then she will question your worth as a teacher. If you cannot use a comma, or period, then you are toast and her respect for you will plummet.

if her English becomes significantly better than yours, then she will lose a measure of respect for your character.

I know such a couple. She was an English teacher in Russia and he hardly went to school. She has now given up correcting him. Its painful to watch. Sometimes he will say something wrong like "pacifically" when he means "specifically" and she looks at him with such a look of disdain and rolls her eyes.

Oh, that and two others that kill me are:

EXspecially -  X? (Seems to be a New York/northeast thing)
and
SupposeBly  -  SupposeDly
Two Favorites:
1.  You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, therefor you should listen twice as much as you speak. -Confucius
2.  If you want to give God a good laugh, tell him your plans. - Anon