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Author Topic: Complicated situation need help  (Read 5704 times)

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Offline Halo

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #30 on: April 09, 2014, 05:48:43 PM »
Yes she is selfish, she herself tells me that always.

She told me that she does not want any problems from my ex wife, and that every woman desires her husband for herself. She is very selfish about me.

Then she should have agreed to meet only those men who do not have ex wives or children.

Quote
She loves me a lot, she is a very caring girl. I did not tell her I will leave my daughter ?

I would dispute that she loves you a lot, at least, not by my definition of what love is.  If she loved you, she would accept your daughter.  She would want what is best for you.  Selfish individuals rarely make good spouses, from my observation.


Offline sashathecat

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #31 on: April 09, 2014, 06:19:36 PM »
She told me that she does not want any problems from my ex wife,

I have been told that there are horror stories told amongst FSUW about ex wives here in the US.

Offline ezguyhere

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #32 on: April 10, 2014, 02:50:20 PM »
 :snivel:

You might be right

Quote
She loves me a lot, she is a very caring girl. I did not tell her I will leave my daughter ?

I would dispute that she loves you a lot, at least, not by my definition of what love is.  If she loved you, she would accept your daughter.  She would want what is best for you.  Selfish individuals rarely make good spouses, from my observation.
[/quote]


Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #33 on: April 10, 2014, 03:39:55 PM »
:snivel:

You might be right


ezguy,

You didn't do your due diligence and now you are paying the price for it.

You've just received some education at the school of hard knocks. You
absolutely need to dump this girl and start over.

What is your due diligence?

You need to ask a girl thousands of questions. What are her goals? her
dreams? Does she want kids? how many? what about religion? how does
she see her future life in your country? what will she miss most about
leaving her country?

What are her theories on child raising? punishment? who disciplines the
children? 

What things/situations cause her fear? what does she do when she is scared?
What things make her angry? what does she do when she is angry?
What things make her sad? what does she do when she is sad?
What things make her jealous? what does she do when she is jealous?
When was the last thing that made her cry? what happened?
What things make her cRaZy?

How will her parents do without her ?
Will her parents need something?
What was your happiest moment?
What is her favorite................. everything books, music, food, everything
What things does she expect from a husband?
What things does a wife do?
What responsibilities does a husband have

How frequently do married couples have sex?
What do you think about X,Y,Z (regarding sex)
What things disgust you?
What do you hate? 
What responsibilities does a father have regarding his children?
What responsibilities does a mother have?

When was the last time she had an argument?

You should know the answer to every single one of those questions and a
thousand more before you get emotionally involved.

You should have explained your situation with your daughter before you
ever got on a plane, before you met her and certainly before you became
emotionally involved.

Lastly, if a girl is selfish dump her. If a girl tells lies dump her. If a girl
is difficult dump her. If a girl makes excuses about stuff dump her. If
she is lazy dump her. If she is stupid dump her.

The minute you decide a girl is not the future Mrs Ezguy dump her.

Don't pursue women who are too hot or too young for you. I suspect that
this girl is both.

Udachi !

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline ezguyhere

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #34 on: April 10, 2014, 05:02:15 PM »
Thank you so much, I wish i did this before  :snivel:
Today we had a big argument and it looks like this is the end.

:snivel:

You might be right


ezguy,

You didn't do your due diligence and now you are paying the price for it.

You've just received some education at the school of hard knocks. You
absolutely need to dump this girl and start over.

What is your due diligence?

You need to ask a girl thousands of questions. What are her goals? her
dreams? Does she want kids? how many? what about religion? how does
she see her future life in your country? what will she miss most about
leaving her country?

What are her theories on child raising? punishment? who disciplines the
children? 

What things/situations cause her fear? what does she do when she is scared?
What things make her angry? what does she do when she is angry?
What things make her sad? what does she do when she is sad?
What things make her jealous? what does she do when she is jealous?
When was the last thing that made her cry? what happened?
What things make her cRaZy?

How will her parents do without her ?
Will her parents need something?
What was your happiest moment?
What is her favorite................. everything books, music, food, everything
What things does she expect from a husband?
What things does a wife do?
What responsibilities does a husband have

How frequently do married couples have sex?
What do you think about X,Y,Z (regarding sex)
What things disgust you?
What do you hate? 
What responsibilities does a father have regarding his children?
What responsibilities does a mother have?

When was the last time she had an argument?

You should know the answer to every single one of those questions and a
thousand more before you get emotionally involved.

You should have explained your situation with your daughter before you
ever got on a plane, before you met her and certainly before you became
emotionally involved.

Lastly, if a girl is selfish dump her. If a girl tells lies dump her. If a girl
is difficult dump her. If a girl makes excuses about stuff dump her. If
she is lazy dump her. If she is stupid dump her.

The minute you decide a girl is not the future Mrs Ezguy dump her.

Don't pursue women who are too hot or too young for you. I suspect that
this girl is both.

Udachi !

Bill

Offline 2tallbill

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #35 on: April 10, 2014, 06:36:36 PM »
Thank you so much, I wish i did this before  :snivel:
Today we had a big argument and it looks like this is the end.

Ezguy don't feel like the lone stranger. I have been disappointed numerous times
so have many others here.

What you probably need is a pep talk.

First consider the alternatives of getting fixed up by wives1 of your friends
where you will be able to meet some of the least attractive women in the
Western Hemisphere or you can join the local chapter of the gay pride float
and parade committee.

If neither of those options appeal to you (they never appealed to me either)
then you need to dust yourself off and get started over again. You've learned
many things along the way and you have found this forum which is a plethora
of information about finding, wooing and winning the hearts of an FSUW.

There are literally millions of unmarried women in the FSU and one of them
would be an excellent match for you. Unfortunately you and her don't know
each other yet. So the sooner you start writing letters the sooner you will 
find the future Mrs EZguy. Many girls won't respond which is great because
they aren't Mrs EZguy and you didn't waste a single moment of your time or
their time.

Keep sending out the letters, if you find a girl interesting then call her on
the phone, then get her on Skype. Remember when you eliminate a girl
you are doing her a favor too. She isn't wasting anymore of her time and
will be one step closer to finding her future husband. 

Soon enough one girl will stand out above all the others. Be smart and not
just pick the hottest one who will respond to you. Pick the one that makes
you laugh, pick the one who is the most clever, pick the one who is cute and
fun. Super hot women are generally very high maintenance. Nobody wants
high maintenance long term, piss on high maintenance!

Cute, fun, clever girls are FUN! and they are CUTE! and clever! cute, fun
clever girls is where it's at!

What can be better than waking up each morning next to a beautiful girl
that you love and who loves you?

I don't know if you've read Manny's book, but I highly recommend it. I agree
with about 99% of it. You can buy it here
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0955687403/?tag=r0be2e-20
 
Read this forum, especially the stickies and the trip reports. Read the train
wreck reports too. Learn from the mistakes of others. Plan your work and then
work your plan.

Udachi !

Bill


1. This imaginary anecdote was blatantly stolen from B.B. and my version
wasn't as good as his. Imagine the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and me trying
to duplicate it in the dark, with finger paints while drunk. It probably wouldn't
be quite as good as the original.
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline TomT

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #36 on: April 10, 2014, 09:27:12 PM »
Today we had a big argument and it looks like this is the end.

The most important thing to take away from this experience is not to be ezguy anymore. Many hot, young girls take selfishness to an art form, but some do not. You have half a chance of surviving a long relationship with the latter variety. This episode might serve as a wake-up call to your partner but it's more likely that she will cling to her character defects and blame you for the conflict.

Going forward, don't promise things that you can't or shouldn't deliver; you may curry favor at the moment but it almost always results in problems down the road.

"Get away from the keyboard little man. I know where you live." (Message left in my facebook mailbox by our resident psychopath.)

Offline Kseniia

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #37 on: April 18, 2014, 11:43:34 AM »
Honestly, i cannot understand how it is even possible that a woman who sincerely loves her man would not accept his children. When you love someone, his kids are part of him and his world. Nobody can expect a person to part with their children! My neighbour had a similar situation with her ex husband who did not want her son to live with them, so the boy stayed at her parents' at another city. Eventually she left her ex, because clearly he did not love her, or show any appreciation for her, and rejecting her son was just one of the signs - but a major one. When you choose a person, you choose their children if any, and there can be no arguing as for this.

Offline Manny

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #38 on: April 18, 2014, 04:31:41 PM »
Honestly, i cannot understand how it is even possible that a woman who sincerely loves her man would not accept his children. When you love someone, his kids are part of him and his world.

I had a young son when I met my wife. She embraced my son and made him part of her world. She even made friends with his mother. She is both his step mother and god mother (since he was christened in the Orthodox church) Our daughter now has an older brother and they all feel part of the same family unit. My ex is the only babysitter my wife trusts here - she looks after our daughter when we go out or away. It may sound odd to some, but it works very well.
please tell me where I'm being / have been 'dishonest'? 
Yes, he said that.........

Offline Kseniia

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #39 on: April 18, 2014, 11:39:33 PM »
I had a young son when I met my wife. She embraced my son and made him part of her world. She even made friends with his mother. She is both his step mother and god mother (since he was christened in the Orthodox church) Our daughter now has an older brother and they all feel part of the same family unit. My ex is the only babysitter my wife trusts here - she looks after our daughter when we go out or away. It may sound odd to some, but it works very well.

You really made me cry with your story... Your wife is an amazing woman, she created that space of love where everyone is drawn to. May all your family always be happy and embraced by Love!  :loving:

Online andrewfi

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #40 on: April 19, 2014, 02:16:51 AM »
Kseniia, truth be told, the older kid's mum is pretty unusual too.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online redroo

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #41 on: April 19, 2014, 02:26:46 AM »
Thanks for sharing that Manny  tiphat

Offline Kseniia

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Re: Complicated situation need help
« Reply #42 on: April 19, 2014, 02:36:19 AM »
Kseniia, truth be told, the older kid's mum is pretty unusual too.

Andrewfi, totally agree, indeed she is.


 

 

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