Life and Times of FSUW in her first year in the US.

[Orchid]

by Mr. Vendelo:
It would be interesting to hear your perspective on your first six months or maybe your first year in the US. But particularly the first six months when you couldn't work. How did you spend your time? Were you bored and homesick at times? How did you make new friends? How did you deal with cultural differences? Can I invite you to start a new thread: Life and Times of Orchid in her first year in the US.

I promise to answer all your questions, but not at once. I am very busy, and I usually come here for very short time to relax.
I also have a big hope that other wives will join us and share their memories.
Yes you are right. The first half of year was a special time.
First, a woman has a new house. She tries to rearrange everything! My husband was lost. He could not find anything in place.
I remember his widely open eyes and mouth. It usually took couple of minutes to fight amazement, and then he asked “Where is it?”
I need to look up in dictionary what is it, and after that to show new place.. ah…it was scissors!
It was the best time we spent together. For example, it was interesting just to be next to him in car.
I asked him to drive around a town to see houses, decorations, Christmas lights. I was looking around, and he was looking at me and smiling.
Everything was different. Air was different, houses, people, even stars were different here.
Of course, we had a lot of sex!!!!! I would say the more we know each other the better sex. But during that first half of year it was too much!!!
We had to buy a new bed after that....

[PBRstreetg]

Kick this thread please.
Dear what you just typed is better than anything I've gathered in my first six months here. That was awhile back (summer 2012) Also I'd like to add the book helped

[vendelo]

by Mr. Vendelo:
It would be interesting to hear your perspective on your first six months or maybe your first year in the US. But particularly the first six months when you couldn't work. How did you spend your time? Were you bored and homesick at times? How did you make new friends? How did you deal with cultural differences? Can I invite you to start a new thread: Life and Times of Orchid in her first year in the US.

I promise to answer all your questions, but not at once. I am very busy, and I usually come here for very short time to relax.
I also have a big hope that other wives will join us and share their memories.
Yes you are right. The first half of year was a special time.
First, a woman has a new house. She tries to rearrange everything! My husband was lost. He could not find anything in place.
I remember his widely open eyes and mouth. It usually took couple of minutes to fight amazement, and then he asked “Where is it?”
I need to look up in dictionary what is it, and after that to show new place.. ah…it was scissors!
It was the best time we spent together. For example, it was interesting just to be next to him in car.
I asked him to drive around a town to see houses, decorations, Christmas lights. I was looking around, and he was looking at me and smiling.
Everything was different. Air was different, houses, people, even stars were different here.
Of course, we had a lot of sex!!!!! I would say the more we know each other the better sex. But during that first half of year it was too much!!!
We had to buy a new bed after that....

Thank you Orchid for taking the time to write about your experiences!!! My fiancé will be moving here later this year and I really want to make it as easy for her as possible. And for me, too!  My friend told me to just say "yes" to whatever she wants for the first ten years 

By the way, when she came to visit me this past Christmas, she made me buy a new bed. So I'll go ahead and check that off the list 

I'm looking forward to reading more of your experiences.

[Orchid]

Dear what you just typed is better than anything....

Hmmm……. My husband never calls me ”dear”. It sounds so nice!!!! I am melted. Thank you!

I came to the US at the beginning of winter. I could not do any gardening. It was my major hobby.
I was bored because for quite a while I could not drive a car. I had luxury car waiting for me, but I had to take a test.
I could drive with Russian driving license if it was international, but I had regular.
I thought it would be better to take some lessons with instructor just to know what they ask during test, and make sure that I understand. I drove a car in Russia for many years, so my instructor felt safe and wanted to give more and more lessons.
When I came to take theoretical part of test, officer asked me if I wanted to take it in Russian. But I studied manual in English and decided to take it in English. It was not difficult.
During practical part of test officer just asked me about my family life. It looked like nice Sunday drive.
My husband still worried if my driving skills fitted his beautiful car. I saw neighbor was selling car for $3000. So, I bought it.
He was happy that his car was safe. I was happy that I could feel free.
I remember my first trip. I used GPS to find one store. But I decided to go back without GPS. It was close to house.
It was nice to relax and drive without paying attention to that small screen.
I turned right and saw so nice people! All drivers were waving to me. All pedestrians were waving even with both hands trying to come closer to my car!
I knew that Americans were very friendly and polite people. But I did not know that they were SO friendly!!!!
I was smiling and waving back. I was so happy…..until I realized that I was driving one way street, against traffic.
It was the beginning of my new life in the USA.

[NS1]

Great story, enjoying the read and your humour 

[Anteros]

Dear what you just typed is better than anything....

Hmmm……. My husband never calls me ”dear”. It sounds so nice!!!! I am melted. Thank you!

I knew that Americans were very friendly and polite people. But I did not know that they were SO friendly!!!!
I was smiling and waving back. I was so happy…..until I realized that I was driving one way street, against traffic.
It was the beginning of my new life in the USA.

Classic!  Don't feel bad, my mother has done that and she was born here.

[Orchid]

I knew my husband for five years before I married him. But it was still scary to make a decision to move to another country.
There was nothing to do. I have already said “yes” to him. I stopped answering questions “What are you doing, дура?”, and started to pack.
I could pack only two big suitcases and one small carry on. That’s all I could bring with me.
I walked around my house and thought what I can put in those bags.
I need to bring what is important. Yes, it is a luxury Russian dinner service. It will remind me about Russia. Carry on is full.
It is a couple of very expensive statues. They also have long family history. It must be pictures of family. Another bag is full.
I have only one left. Of course, I will not bring my clothes. So, I just look in closet and remember how I was choosing them. Now it’s just an expensive trash.
What about presents for my new American family? I put in bag some of my favorite books(I do not know why), computer, camera…
I pack and repack one hundred times.
It’s time to go. I kept date of departure in secret. I did not want anybody to stop me at the last moment. I was struggling to keep in order all bags and documents.
I passed customs service, passport control and got on plane. I was crying all ten hours long flight.
I left behind my house, my small business, comfortable life, my parent’s graves, not many… but friends, far… but relatives… everything!!!!
This is all because of one man…
I saw him at the airport. He barely could stand on his feet. He was tired to finish his work to get some days off and prepare a house for me.
We both were exhausted. We crashed into each other arms, man and woman from  different continents and different cultures, with the only hope to start new happy life.

[Orchid]

In Russia I liked skiing. I usually went to Dombay, Caucasus.
There are several levels for skiing. The highest level, I believe, is about 3000 meters above sea.
It took a while for me to decide to take that level. So, I hired instructor. We made an appointment and decided to do it next day. 
Damn!! There were clouds!!  I was staying at the edge of the world. There was no ground in front of me. Air around was like milk.
He fastened glasses and said “Let’s go”.
I jumped into nowhere!!! Crazy speed, my knees were close to chin to keep balance, and his back was the only orienteer where to go.
My the only thought was not to lose him. Not to lose him!!!
Suddenly clouds disappeared and world became so bright! I was overwhelmed by its beauty.
Those minutes were like the whole life. When we stopped I realized that I would never be the same.
What I want to say, to marry foreign man is like to make that jump. You are devastated by uncertainty, ready to die.
You jump, follow blindly your man… and then you see that life is so beautiful!!!!

[Orchid]

First several months are very exciting time. It’s so nice to be together after so long waiting.
Unbelievable that we do not have to call or write every day, that we can SEE each other every day!!!!!

I was married almost next day after arrival, and I was waiting for document 3-6 months. I already do not remember exact time.
American man has three month to think and step back if something is wrong.
He does not have to marry a woman, and she must go back to her country.
Everything may happen. Real family life defers from dating.
I think it’s also a good protection for an American man.

For the first time any hobby would be very helpful. I like to sew. I brought some gobelens with me. I bought them http://www.rusgobelen.ru/.
It is an old Russian tradition to have pictures on fabric. They are really beautiful. It is a very good present also.
My husband bought at yard sale excellent new sewing maching for me, just for ten bucks.
He likes everything outdoor. I used this topic to make pillow cases and cover for couches.
Then I sewed curtains for windows. It was a pleasure to choose different color and shape for each room.
I had a project to sew a holiday tablecloth. But it was time when I got my driving license and it meant the beginning of Era of Shopping.
That project is still not finished…

[Orchid]

Of course, I cooked.
In Russia, kitchen usually is a room with a door, or even small separate house for summer cooking.
We have two kitchens in our American house. They are both open to living rooms. No doors.
It’s so unusual for me that smell of cooking is everywhere. When I bake, it’s OK. But when it’s smell of vegetables, it drives me crazy.
My husband took some time off to stay with me and remodel a house.
I wanted to spoil him. I cooked one dish after another, but he ate only meat and potatoes.
So, I cooked and threw it in garbage… Cooked and threw… Cooked and threw….
One day I saw our neighbor working in his yard. I opened window and yelled “Hey, Alex, come over! We have dinner!” 
He was happy to come and ate everything!! Ahhhh...... so good!
Next day he was in the yard too. I invited him again. We had nice time together. He really enjoyed Russian cuisine.
Then I forgot to look at window… He came at dinner time and asked my husband if he needed some help with remodeling.
All three of us were happy. I was happy to cook, our neighbor was happy to eat, my husband was happy to have help.
House is beautiful now!!!

[Lon]

  

[vendelo]

I knew my husband for five years before I married him. But it was still scary to make a decision to move to another country.
There was nothing to do. I have already said “yes” to him. I stopped answering questions “What are you doing, дура?”, and started to pack.
I could pack only two big suitcases and one small carry on. That’s all I could bring with me.
I walked around my house and thought what I can put in those bags.
I need to bring what is important. Yes, it is a luxury Russian dinner service. It will remind me about Russia. Carry on is full.
It is a couple of very expensive statues. They also have long family history. It must be pictures of family. Another bag is full.
I have only one left. Of course, I will not bring my clothes. So, I just look in closet and remember how I was choosing them. Now it’s just an expensive trash.
What about presents for my new American family? I put in bag some of my favorite books(I do not know why), computer, camera…
I pack and repack one hundred times.
It’s time to go. I kept date of departure in secret. I did not want anybody to stop me at the last moment. I was struggling to keep in order all bags and documents.
I passed customs service, passport control and got on plane. I was crying all ten hours long flight.
I left behind my house, my small business, comfortable life, my parent’s graves, not many… but friends, far… but relatives… everything!!!!
This is all because of one man…
I saw him at the airport. He barely could stand on his feet. He was tired to finish his work to get some days off and prepare a house for me.
We both were exhausted. We crashed into each other arms, man and woman from  different continents and different cultures, with the only hope to start new happy life.

What a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing such personal part of your life. I particularly love what you wrote at the end: the hope to start new happy life. This is exactly how my fiancé and I feel. We're a little older, 53 & 44, and feel we are lucky to have found each other and now are looking to be together and enjoy our time together.

I look forward to read more about your new life!

[NS1]

Very nice, good you share, it is enjoyable to read and hopefully helps some men,
realize some of the things that go through a women's mind during this life changing event.

[sashathecat]

Wonderful story Orchid and thank you for sharing. I noticed quite a few parallels to my wife's experiences. Men who's other half may be arriving can learn a lot from this.

[NS1]

I realize reading this my wife is fortunate on one front, she has already made 2 trips, and I paid
for an extra bad each trip. So she has managed to bring more. Likely at least 2 more trips before
permanent  status is in play, she should be able to bring many more items.

[AkMike]

Our bags will be filled up or I'd offer transport back for some stuff Trev. However,, You need to stop by and grab it from us.

[NS1]

Our bags will be filled up or I'd offer transport back for some stuff Trev. However,, You need to stop by and grab it from us.

Sounds great, except, likely cost more to go to Alaska, than Ukraine, from here 

[2tallbill]

Orchid thank you for writing about your life and adventures !

[Orchid]

Thanks for such a positive feedback. You are all very kind to me.

[Orchid]

I am a big city girl. When I came here I insisted to install video cameras everywhere. That’s how I lived in Russia. I feel safe this way.
Now I live in small town.  Our neighbors were amazed about cameras. My husband had to apologize. Nothing wrong about them! It’s just what strange Russian woman wants!
But one day them came and said that battery from their RV was stolen. We went through recording and found that guy. Now I am not strange to them.
I used to feed birds since my childhood, especially in winter. I came to the US in winter and first thing I bought bird food and put birdfeeders all over the yard.
During three years I have two generations of birds coming to my yard. They even know my voice. My hubby said that there are more birds only in heaven.
I also like to decorate my house. I like wreathes. It is something new to me. In Russia we do not have wreathes. Here, in the US, it’s an art.  They are so beautiful!!!
One of them I hanged on camera next to front door.
Couple days ago I noticed that when I open the door birds were right next to me. It looked like they wanted to fly into house…
It was so unusual, until I understood that there was a nest in the wreath next to door.
Yes, all three things that I like came together in one event.
Couple of small birds has made a nest in that wreath hanging on camera.
They are in love. They sing all the time.
Gosh… their love song is so loud!!!
I want to share with you my little Easter miracle.
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[WestCoast]

Orchid with regard to the security video cameras on your property, don't worry about your neighbours comments. In the mid '80s when my mom lived all alone in her house she had video cameras installed after her next door neighbour was robbed. She had a couple of dogs but they were getting old and didn't always bark at everyone who came onto the property.

My mom had the cameras installed in front and back of the house. She also had a few flood lights installed that were attached to motion detectors. Anyone came onto her property the flood lights activated and she could see them via a surveillance monitor.

A few months after she had the security setup installed one of her female neighbours who also lived alone dropped by to ask her about her security system. A couple of months later that neighbour had a similar system installed. Over the next year or so a few other neighbours also installed similar systems.

My mom lived in a nice neighbourhood in Canada, no violent crime and little crime of any type. She felt safer with the security system and apparently so did a few of her neighbours.   

[Orchid]

Thank you, Mr. WestCoast, for talking to me about your mother.
It brought some memories about my mother. I spent the whole night thinking about my family.
My mom was 48, when she gave birth to me. My dad was 50. My oldest brother was 25.
My sister liked to bring me out because people always said to her “O, you are so young mother!”
That’s why I feel more comfortable with people who is older me.
I have lost all of them. Mother, father, two brothers, and sister.
We were Russian family with old traditions. All children must play musical instruments. I played piano. I did not like it much.
May be because I was the youngest, my parents made an exception for me and let me do sport. So, I play tennis better than I play piano.
I remember long winter night, when we were sitting at the table (not on couch!), and mom was reading aloud book to the family.
Actually, I am talking about cooking. Have you noticed? Not yet? OK, I will continue…
We ate all together at the same time. Mom served, girls helped.
We did not pray before meal, like we do it here, in the United States, but nobody could start eat before father.
I remember another rule. You cannot sit if somebody older you stands. Guess what, I was always standing!! I was the youngest.
At any meal it must be three appetizers on table. It can be salted fish with onion and sunflower oil, potato salad, and fried mushrooms with herbs.
O, no! It was yesterday! Today it is cold meat. It must be sliced in so thin pieces that my father can see light through it!!! Otherwise he will not eat it.
Then, it can be cheese balls and shredded fresh carrots with garlic and sour cream. Tomorrow it must be something else, but never the same.
Always, at any time! there must a pie on table, covered with linen.
Fruits and candies are locked, at any time! in pantry. The door of this pantry is with glass windows. Only mom has key.
I move chair closer to the pantry, get on chair, look through glass, and count how many apples and candies left. Mom gives me only one a day.
I still try to talk about cooking.
OK. I am a little tired today. I will do it next time.

[WestCoast]

Thank you, Mr. WestCoast, for talking to me about your mother.
It brought some memories about my mother. I spent the whole night thinking about my family.
My mom was 48, when she gave birth to me. My dad was 50. My oldest brother was 25.
My sister liked to bring me out because people always said to her “O, you are so young mother!”
That’s why I feel more comfortable with people who is older me.
I have lost all of them. Mother, father, two brothers, and sister.
We were Russian family with old traditions. All children must play musical instruments. I played piano. I did not like it much.
May be because I was the youngest, my parents made an exception for me and let me do sport. So, I play tennis better than I play piano.
I remember long winter night, when we were sitting at the table (not on couch!), and mom was reading aloud book to the family.
Actually, I am talking about cooking. Have you noticed? Not yet? OK, I will continue…
We ate all together at the same time. Mom served, girls helped.
We did not pray before meal, like we do it here, in the United States, but nobody could start eat before father.
I remember another rule. You cannot sit if somebody older you stands. Guess what, I was always standing!! I was the youngest.
At any meal it must be three appetizers on table. It can be salted fish with onion and sunflower oil, potato salad, and fried mushrooms with herbs.
O, no! It was yesterday! Today it is cold meat. It must be sliced in so thin pieces that my father can see light through it!!! Otherwise he will not eat it.
Then, it can be cheese balls and shredded fresh carrots with garlic and sour cream. Tomorrow it must be something else, but never the same.
Always, at any time! there must a pie on table, covered with linen.
Fruits and candies were locked, at any time! in pantry. The door of this pantry is with glass windows. Only mom has key.
I move chair closer to the pantry, get on chair, look through glass, and count how many apples and candies left. Mom gives me only one a day.
I still try to talk about cooking.
OK. I am a little tired today. I will do it next time.

Our moms must have been related however distantly. My mom insisted I learn to play the piano. I never was great but even today I can sit down and play. Personally I prefer the guitar but I think the piano is easier to learn and play, although for guys, the guitar gets you more women. As for dinner, mom always insisted we eat together at the table. No eating dinner and watching TV.

[Boris]

Great thread, Orchid. Thank you very much for telling us your thoughts....

[vendelo]

Thank you, Mr. WestCoast, for talking to me about your mother.
It brought some memories about my mother. I spent the whole night thinking about my family.
My mom was 48, when she gave birth to me. My dad was 50. My oldest brother was 25.
My sister liked to bring me out because people always said to her “O, you are so young mother!”
That’s why I feel more comfortable with people who is older me.
I have lost all of them. Mother, father, two brothers, and sister.
We were Russian family with old traditions. All children must play musical instruments. I played piano. I did not like it much.
May be because I was the youngest, my parents made an exception for me and let me do sport. So, I play tennis better than I play piano.
I remember long winter night, when we were sitting at the table (not on couch!), and mom was reading aloud book to the family.
Actually, I am talking about cooking. Have you noticed? Not yet? OK, I will continue…
We ate all together at the same time. Mom served, girls helped.
We did not pray before meal, like we do it here, in the United States, but nobody could start eat before father.
I remember another rule. You cannot sit if somebody older you stands. Guess what, I was always standing!! I was the youngest.
At any meal it must be three appetizers on table. It can be salted fish with onion and sunflower oil, potato salad, and fried mushrooms with herbs.
O, no! It was yesterday! Today it is cold meat. It must be sliced in so thin pieces that my father can see light through it!!! Otherwise he will not eat it.
Then, it can be cheese balls and shredded fresh carrots with garlic and sour cream. Tomorrow it must be something else, but never the same.
Always, at any time! there must a pie on table, covered with linen.
Fruits and candies are locked, at any time! in pantry. The door of this pantry is with glass windows. Only mom has key.
I move chair closer to the pantry, get on chair, look through glass, and count how many apples and candies left. Mom gives me only one a day.
I still try to talk about cooking.
OK. I am a little tired today. I will do it next time.

Orchid, thank you again for sharing a story. I can't express how much I enjoy reading your written words.