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Author Topic: Abandoning my search.  (Read 10956 times)

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Offline Luftmeister

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Abandoning my search.
« on: March 17, 2014, 05:06:56 PM »
As of this writing, I'm dropping the idea of marrying a woman from the FSU. I don't think I have the time, or patience for it to go through it again. I may be back someday, but as of this writing I doubt it.

I was married to a FSUW for 15 years for those of you who don't know my back story.

I don't know that I have the time, or the patience for it. What I mean by that, is right now I'm 47 years old and I have 2 boys aged 7 and 14. I make a decent wage, and have a month of vacation per year. Just too many blow ups so - to hell with it.

Best of luck to you all.

Do not try to convince your mind of something which your heart knows is a lie.

Offline Mikeav8r

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2014, 05:19:29 PM »
Good luck to you.  Drop in every once in a while eh?  tiphat
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Offline d672

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2014, 05:58:20 PM »
 You're right Luft, you need to be able to take the time and have the commitment to do this. Totally understandable that you don't think you can do it right now, especially with raising your young sons.

 Good luck in the future and thanks for your input while you were here. Take care!


Offline GuppyCaptain

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2014, 06:32:41 PM »
Well crap......sorry to hear that Luft. I enjoyed talking to you a while back and really valued what you had to say considering your past experience. One of my bigger "check marks" on my list is making sure that she comes from a reasonably stable family background. I remember your words wrt that as well as setting up boundaries with the in-laws. So "thanks" I guess is what I'm saying.

All the best to you no matter what path you choose but something tells me your decision will not be permanent.

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2014, 06:56:51 PM »
Lufty, I understand & have more or less reached the same conclusion.

The odd thing I have in the search learned things, about myself  :hidechair: - about other posters   :thumbsup:  & :popcorn: and about what was the former Soviet Union  :saint:>:(

One thing to consider is to search for a partner who was from "there" who is now here. What is odd there is in men (and women) a need to be a partner. Av
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Offline TomT

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2014, 07:12:35 PM »
I have to admit, being a glutton for punishment is part of an international dater's job description.

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2014, 07:15:52 PM »
I have to admit, being a glutton for punishment is part of an international dater's job description.

Unfortunately, not withstanding others postings this is true.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Anteros

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2014, 08:11:56 PM »
As of this writing, I'm dropping the idea of marrying a woman from the FSU. I don't think I have the time, or patience for it to go through it again. I may be back someday, but as of this writing I doubt it.

I was married to a FSUW for 15 years for those of you who don't know my back story.

I don't know that I have the time, or the patience for it. What I mean by that, is right now I'm 47 years old and I have 2 boys aged 7 and 14. I make a decent wage, and have a month of vacation per year. Just too many blow ups so - to hell with it.

Best of luck to you all.

Best of luck to you as well!   :thumbsup:
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline vendelo

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #8 on: March 17, 2014, 08:50:37 PM »
As of this writing, I'm dropping the idea of marrying a woman from the FSU. I don't think I have the time, or patience for it to go through it again. I may be back someday, but as of this writing I doubt it.

I was married to a FSUW for 15 years for those of you who don't know my back story.

I don't know that I have the time, or the patience for it. What I mean by that, is right now I'm 47 years old and I have 2 boys aged 7 and 14. I make a decent wage, and have a month of vacation per year. Just too many blow ups so - to hell with it.

Best of luck to you all.

I have to admit, dating in today's world  compared to say, 15-20 years ago will suck the life out of you. During my nearly ten-year span of seeking "vendela" I gave up a few times. As a matter of fact, I thought of just being single for the rest of my life. But I realized I needed  and wanted to be with one woman. So I dove back in the dating world but went global in my search - I got tired of AW!

I got lucky and found a wonderful lady. She's in a time zone 15 hours ahead and 8,000 miles away. I'm no longer 47 like you. Oh God, if I could turn the clock back to age 47. If I could, I would definitely have a child or two with my lady. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're young at 47, and time flies by, and you can't turn back the clock, and as you age you'll find that there will be less attractive women around your age, and women will find you less attractive. If you feel you want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, then don't give up. Just keep trying. Good luck to you!

Offline el_guero

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2014, 01:47:05 AM »
....

 What is odd there is in men (and women) a need to be a partner. Av

A truism.

Online mhr7

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2014, 04:57:33 AM »
It can all be very frustrating at times. Best of luck to you as well LM!

Offline Danchik

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2014, 06:12:27 AM »
As of this writing, I'm dropping the idea of marrying a woman from the FSU. I don't think I have the time, or patience for it to go through it again. I may be back someday, but as of this writing I doubt it.

I was married to a FSUW for 15 years for those of you who don't know my back story.

I don't know that I have the time, or the patience for it. What I mean by that, is right now I'm 47 years old and I have 2 boys aged 7 and 14. I make a decent wage, and have a month of vacation per year. Just too many blow ups so - to hell with it.

Best of luck to you all.
Luft,

I can't say I blame you for your decision to bail. The way things are nowadays, I don't know if I could handle all the ups and downs associated with the process, especially living in America given its distance. It certainly takes a hard-headed person, with a world of patience (not to mention time and money).

Nevertheless, it wouldn't surprise me if you got back in the hunt after some down time. Just always seems to be there, somewhere in the back of your mind.

I too, enjoyed our conversations in chat, and do wish you Godspeed.
When it is dark enough, men see the stars.

Offline shakespear

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #12 on: March 18, 2014, 06:55:25 AM »
As of this writing, I'm dropping the idea of marrying a woman from the FSU. I don't think I have the time, or patience for it to go through it again. I may be back someday, but as of this writing I doubt it. 

Wish i would have been smart enough to figure out that plan of action 12 years ago . . . . . . . . . . . .
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" - Katharine Hepburn

Offline Donhollio

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #13 on: March 18, 2014, 07:20:33 AM »
  I'm not sure why this is in the train wreck section, as there was no disaster tale of woe. Anyway, I can understand your reasoning, this isn't an easy thing to pull off, and advancing age only makes it harder IMO. My lil Human Heatertm asked me just the other day if I would 'go back' if we split. I told her quite confidently, ''no.''  I was tired of the trips and hours put in to find someone to visit. The whole process of once you get a girl, is a never ending class in patience. I lack the patience.
 I'm a decade older now, and the things change. Just for a different slice of life, I would probably find me a sexy plumper who was built for comfort and not speed.

Offline TomT

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2014, 08:21:41 AM »
Wish i would have been smart enough to figure out that plan of action 12 years ago . . . . . . . . . .

Predicting the future is a very imprecise science.

Offline Manny

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #15 on: March 18, 2014, 11:21:38 AM »
  I'm not sure why this is in the train wreck section, as there was no disaster tale of woe.

Hardly a happy marriage is it? The room is for when it didn't quite go as planned. Which it clearly didn't.

Just too many blow ups so - to hell with it.
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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2014, 11:54:40 AM »
As of this writing, I'm dropping the idea of marrying a woman from the FSU. I don't think I have the time, or patience for it to go through it again.

This is not a train wreck but rather some stopping before it may become one.

On the other side to we have a derailed report.

I may be back someday, but as of this writing I doubt it.

I was married to a FSUW for 15 years for those of you who don't know my back story.

I don't know that I have the time, or the patience for it. What I mean by that, is right now I'm 47 years old and I have 2 boys aged 7 and 14. I make a decent wage, and have a month of vacation per year. Just too many blow ups so - to hell with it.

Best of luck to you all.

Lufty good luck and may you have great times with your sons. It would be great if you drop in on RUA once and a while.
“If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” T.S. Eliot

Offline Mikeav8r

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #17 on: March 18, 2014, 12:14:12 PM »
I don't see this as a train wreck either.  The man made an informed decision to discontinue his out of country search due to time and family concerns, as well as correctly determining it was going to be more of a PITA than ordinary dating would be.  Hardly an unhappy or unfortunate ending.  He avoided any potential train wrecks and who knows, he may just find an incredible woman near his home.  Just my .73 Rubles...
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Offline Slumba

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #18 on: March 18, 2014, 12:25:45 PM »
Luft, was a pleasure to chat with you on chat.  Hope that all goes well for you in the future, whatever happens.
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Offline Luftmeister

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #19 on: March 18, 2014, 12:27:48 PM »
OP here.

Train wreck is fine by me. Leave it parked right here Manny. :)  My first attempt ended in divorce. My second was a near disaster as she was almost certainly a scammer. 3 and 4 were jaded and aloof. 5 thought I wasn't over my marriage/divorce (she may be right), 6 got cold feet in the dating phase, and 7 just fizzled.

I still HIGHLY recommend Mila interpreter if you're doing your search in Kharkov. My failures had nothing to do with her. She was awesome and absolutely helpful to me. In the unlikely event I were to start again, she would be my first call.

Geopolitical changes did have a part in my decision. Absolutely.

-J
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Offline Eduard

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #20 on: March 18, 2014, 12:30:19 PM »
being married, being single, your job, your life - all have ups and downs. Any marriage is work and requires lots of compromise. Some couples grow together and become stronger as a family each year, while other couples grow apart and eventually part ways. Nothing in life is guaranteed and nothing is for sure. Still, the positive outweighs the negative IMO and I would much rather be married and have my beautiful family than be single.

I'm sorry I haven't been on the forum lately due to being very busy with work. This year it seems more men are interested in getting a little help with their search. I can see why. Things really did get much harder and even fewer FSU women are interested in getting to know foreign men. We had to find a different approach to the women to get them  involved in a conversation, and it's working. But it is taking more time and effort than ever before. I can see how frustrating it can be for some one who is not a fluent Russian speaker.

Offline Luftmeister

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #21 on: March 18, 2014, 12:44:37 PM »
being married, being single, your job, your life - all have ups and downs. Any marriage is work and requires lots of compromise. Some couples grow together and become stronger as a family each year, while other couples grow apart and eventually part ways. Nothing in life is guaranteed and nothing is for sure. Still, the positive outweighs the negative IMO and I would much rather be married and have my beautiful family than be single.

Agree with everything here, Ed. > I < am abandoning my search, I wish everyone else luck in theirs.



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Offline Anteros

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #22 on: March 18, 2014, 01:34:17 PM »
  I'm not sure why this is in the train wreck section, as there was no disaster tale of woe. Anyway, I can understand your reasoning, this isn't an easy thing to pull off, and advancing age only makes it harder IMO. My lil Human Heatertm asked me just the other day if I would 'go back' if we split. I told her quite confidently, ''no.''  I was tired of the trips and hours put in to find someone to visit. The whole process of once you get a girl, is a never ending class in patience. I lack the patience.
 I'm a decade older now, and the things change. Just for a different slice of life, I would probably find me a sexy plumper who was built for comfort and not speed.

Been there, done that, and enjoyed it very much!   :laugh:  (it's always a good back-up plan)
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline Donhollio

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2014, 02:32:30 PM »
  I'm not sure why this is in the train wreck section, as there was no disaster tale of woe.
Hardly a happy marriage is it? The room is for when it didn't quite go as planned. Which it clearly didn't.

 I based my words on what was writing here as the opening post in this thread.

I was married to a FSUW for 15 years for those of you who don't know my back story.

 Not this.

   
 My first attempt ended in divorce.
 My second was a near disaster as she was almost certainly a scammer.
 3 and 4 were jaded and aloof.
 5 thought I wasn't over my marriage/divorce (she may be right),
 6 got cold feet in the dating phase, and
 7 just fizzled.

 Sorry to read about the bad string in the search. However you had 15 years, which is nothing to call a train wreck in my opinion.

  I'm not sure why this is in the train wreck section, as there was no disaster tale of woe. Anyway, I can understand your reasoning, this isn't an easy thing to pull off, and advancing age only makes it harder IMO. My lil Human Heatertm asked me just the other day if I would 'go back' if we split. I told her quite confidently, ''no.''  I was tired of the trips and hours put in to find someone to visit. The whole process of once you get a girl, is a never ending class in patience. I lack the patience.
 I'm a decade older now, and the things change. Just for a different slice of life, I would probably find me a sexy plumper who was built for comfort and not speed.

Been there, done that, and enjoyed it very much!   :laugh:  (it's always a good back-up plan)

 :thumbsup:


Offline Manny

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Re: Abandoning my search.
« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2014, 04:54:13 PM »
OP here.

Train wreck is fine by me. Leave it parked right here Manny. :)  My first attempt ended in divorce. My second was a near disaster as she was almost certainly a scammer. 3 and 4 were jaded and aloof. 5 thought I wasn't over my marriage/divorce (she may be right), 6 got cold feet in the dating phase, and 7 just fizzled.

Thanks for the agreement. Guys want to know some of this stuff, and they will head to this room to find it. Hence why I thought it apt.

Good luck in all your future endeavours and dont be a stranger here. You are always welcome. Especially when you decide to take up the reigns again.  tiphat
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.