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Author Topic: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю  (Read 8077 times)

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Offline kenny2112

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Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« on: October 30, 2013, 02:13:50 PM »
Hi Ladies (and gents too, I guess!)

I was chatting with a girl I know and am fond of when this came up. I told her that I missed her and this was her reply. "Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю" She said that it was a saying and the best I can figure out is that it means to drink tea and not miss her.

She's pretty tough in spite of being pretty sensitive. For instance, she would never admit to crying because she missed me and she often says that she's strong and he keeps her emotions inside and to herself.

Anyhow, any enlightenment or help in understanding the meaning behind this saying would be super!

Regards,

Kenny

Offline Eduard

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2013, 06:06:50 PM »
this: "бо"  most likely is a typo, maybe she meant to type HO which means "but"
basically she said: "I'd like some tea but I miss you",  but "скучаю" can also mean "I'm bored".
Hard to tell without the context. Is she pretty young?

Offline kenny2112

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2013, 09:16:28 PM »
Hey Ed! Yeah, there's an age gap and she types using the hunt and peck method :) We've met, spent time together, I've met family etc.

I talked to a Ukrainian buddy of mine and he said that it's a Russian saying for "I want some tea because I miss you" and it rhymes and supposedly it's pretty funny.

The context was that things have been going cool. We write back and forth every day all throughout the day and sometimes we use short of shorthand... "скучаю" or "я скучаю" and "люблю" instead of writing everything out. She was getting ready to go to sleep. I told her that I missed her and she came back with this. I was a little confused and I guess it got lost in the translation but maybe I learned something today.

Thanks for the reply though. Hope all is going well, Ed! :)


Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2013, 11:59:47 PM »
Ed  is not a correct interpretation. "бо" comes from the word "а то скучаю". This is a typical Ukrainian sarcasm strong lady.

to Kenny - especially the ladies have long been tired of long virtual relationships . and the more time? the more confidence going into the hearts of our women. Russian women are no longer talking about the problems of life. Even our people do not know how to be kind and considerate to those who are ill . In our time more often confronted with violence in the relationship. When you start to cry? others begin to rejoice because you feel bad . We will not show how much it is difficult . we are struggling on their own. We  almost not have a friends because you friend is only when you have something to take. It's hard to become a feminist. but people learn.
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2013, 12:02:22 AM »
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Eduard

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2013, 07:26:14 AM »
Ed  is not a correct interpretation. "бо" comes from the word "а то скучаю".

"бо" comes from the word "а то скучаю"? How does that work exactly? Where is the connection?

Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2013, 07:41:11 AM »
я тебе на русском объясню а то на английском мне будет трудно это сделать. поговорка имеет двойное значение в наше время. второе значение это неудачная шутка по поводу желания налить чай во время разговора. Но истинный смысл этой реплики можно расценить как нет интереса в болтовне когда дома быт задрал. Вам не кажется что у нас разная жизнь? вот  скажи на пример. твоя жена где то в поездке . и ты хочешь с ней пообщаться. но в процессе разговора  она тебе скажет." пойду налью чаю а то скучаю" интересно какова твоя реакция будет? правильно . она не заинтересована в разговоре когда есть контакты по интересней. или дела по важней.

 теперь понятна связь? если честно у нас не умеют шутить.  надо смотреть еще и на реакцию как это было сказано. то ли это просто шутка. то ли реально просто не интересно общаться.

я в процессе общения хоть с нашими а тем более с людьми других стран никогда не позволяю себе подобных шуток если мне интересен контакт. потому что даже наши украинцы могут не правильно это понять. я уже не говорю о людях других стран( будь то женщины или мужчины) не знающих нашего внутреннего отношения к подобному юмору.
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline molly35ru

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2013, 08:11:27 AM »
Значение слова "БО" в толковом словаре Даля
БО - СОЮЗ ибо, потому что; употребит. в церк., малороссии, белоруссии и в соседстве. не дам, бо нет.

 :reading:

Так что Ladine совершенно права  :)  "Хочу чаю, потому что скучаю"
Words that are said in anger can rarely be taken back so be mindful what you say.

Offline Eduard

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2013, 08:25:07 AM »
Значение слова "БО" в толковом словаре Даля
БО - СОЮЗ ибо, потому что; употребит. в церк., малороссии, белоруссии и в соседстве. не дам, бо нет.

 :reading:

Так что Ladine совершенно права  :)  "Хочу чаю, потому что скучаю"
sure, I know "ибо" just haven't seen it used as "бо" without the first letter. Thanks!

Offline molly35ru

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2013, 09:13:49 AM »
You are welcome  tiphat
если честно у нас не умеют шутить.  надо смотреть еще и на реакцию как это было сказано. то ли это просто шутка. то ли реально просто не интересно общаться.

я в процессе общения хоть с нашими а тем более с людьми других стран никогда не позволяю себе подобных шуток если мне интересен контакт. потому что даже наши украинцы могут не правильно это понять. я уже не говорю о людях других стран( будь то женщины или мужчины) не знающих нашего внутреннего отношения к подобному юмору.
I can't agree that all "ours" can't joke. Sence of humor is a personal  trait. You either have it or not. As for sarcasm  sometimes it becomes obvious only with the help of facial expression and intonation.
My jokes have never been misunderstood though yes if we talk to foreigners we have to be careful and avoid using slang.  Then again ask for explanation if you want to clarify something.  The process of learning is such a fun   :nod:
Words that are said in anger can rarely be taken back so be mindful what you say.

Offline Rasputin

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2013, 09:23:31 AM »
Значение слова "БО" в толковом словаре Даля
БО - СОЮЗ ибо, потому что; употребит. в церк., малороссии, белоруссии и в соседстве. не дам, бо нет.

 :reading:

Так что Ladine совершенно права  :)  "Хочу чаю, потому что скучаю"
sure, I know "ибо" just haven't seen it used as "бо" without the first letter. Thanks!

An excellent example as to why machine translations are not the best option to get subtle meaning. If a native speaker can get confused because of a typo or a very rare word, imagine what Google translate would have done with it  tiphat
"Seems I live in Russia Rasputin visited" - Millaa
"So do I" - Molly35ru

Offline kenny2112

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2013, 09:35:01 AM »
So, this was basically a slam... offensive... perhaps that drinking tea was more important than missing me. Perhaps it's time to move on or at least think about what I'm doing... how I'm spending my time and effort. I had made plans to travel to see her but she shot me down and told me not to come... not to waste my money traveling to see her because she said that she was not so important. She's been down and depressed lately and gets offended and twists my words to a degree that baffles my mind. A conversation meant to cheer her up by reminding her of when we were together and everything was awesome... by asking her "hey! what's wrong? what happened to that girl that ran to me and hugged me like she never wanted to let go? Everything is going to be alright" gets turned around into something offensive and she takes it as me saying that she's bad or acting poorly towards me now when compared to before... which is true...

This stuff is like herding cats sometimes or trying to put toothpaste back in the tube! Worth it? Yeah, when things are good they're awesome but... the awesome days are getting to be fewer and fewer and I'm getting less and less the more understanding and supportive I try to be.

Offline molly35ru

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2013, 10:09:13 AM »
So, this was basically a slam... offensive... perhaps that drinking tea was more important than missing me. Perhaps it's time to move on or at least think about what I'm doing... how I'm spending my time and effort. I had made plans to travel to see her but she shot me down and told me not to come... not to waste my money traveling to see her because she said that she was not so important. She's been down and depressed lately and gets offended and twists my words to a degree that baffles my mind. A conversation meant to cheer her up by reminding her of when we were together and everything was awesome... by asking her "hey! what's wrong? what happened to that girl that ran to me and hugged me like she never wanted to let go? Everything is going to be alright" gets turned around into something offensive and she takes it as me saying that she's bad or acting poorly towards me now when compared to before... which is true...

This stuff is like herding cats sometimes or trying to put toothpaste back in the tube! Worth it? Yeah, when things are good they're awesome but... the awesome days are getting to be fewer and fewer and I'm getting less and less the more understanding and supportive I try to be.
Well, without knowing where you are at with this girl and the conversation the phrase was used it's hard to say anything. I've learned that direct approach is the best. Why not to ask her what she meant to say and was she really bored. Direct question, direct answer.
Words that are said in anger can rarely be taken back so be mindful what you say.

Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2013, 10:26:03 AM »
So, this was basically a slam... offensive... perhaps that drinking tea was more important than missing me. Perhaps it's time to move on or at least think about what I'm doing... how I'm spending my time and effort. I had made plans to travel to see her but she shot me down and told me not to come... not to waste my money traveling to see her because she said that she was not so important. She's been down and depressed lately and gets offended and twists my words to a degree that baffles my mind. A conversation meant to cheer her up by reminding her of when we were together and everything was awesome... by asking her "hey! what's wrong? what happened to that girl that ran to me and hugged me like she never wanted to let go? Everything is going to be alright" gets turned around into something offensive and she takes it as me saying that she's bad or acting poorly towards me now when compared to before... which is true...

This stuff is like herding cats sometimes or trying to put toothpaste back in the tube! Worth it? Yeah, when things are good they're awesome but... the awesome days are getting to be fewer and fewer and I'm getting less and less the more understanding and supportive I try to be.

ну не собака на сене это ? нет это не любовь. у нас это называется собака на сене. и замуж не пойду и к другой не пущу.

 ( это я для переводчик старюсь) лень сейчас переводчиком пользоваться. другим занята.

Кенни. иди дальше.... не трать время

Жизнь слишком короткая что бы тратить ее в пустую.
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline kenny2112

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2013, 10:37:50 AM »
Спасибо большое, Ladine ... Она меня не уважает. Я думаю, что я был слишком хорош и слишком добр к ней. Заботился о ней и ее семье. Я всегда был честным с ней обо всем ... мои мысли и чувства. Она и ее семья не уважаю это. Мне сказали, что я не настоящий мужчина. Я даю все, и ничего не получим ... только слова ... и не всегда добрые слова. Да, время для меня, чтобы прекратить тратить свое время.

Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2013, 10:48:49 AM »
Спасибо большое, Ladine ... Она меня не уважает. Я думаю, что я был слишком хорош и слишком добр к ней. Заботился о ней и ее семье. Я всегда был честным с ней обо всем ... мои мысли и чувства. Она и ее семья не уважаю это. Мне сказали, что я не настоящий мужчина. Я даю все, и ничего не получим ... только слова ... и не всегда добрые слова. Да, время для меня, чтобы прекратить тратить свое время.

ну если ты способен немного понимать русский. то я тебе немного объясню. Я понимаю желание Молли уточнить мои слова. но увы мы не живем по словарю Даля. И люди у нас реально такие вещи применяют как юмор. Но это от безрассудства. наша жизнь с каждым днем становится сложнее и сложнее. от этого у людей практически не остается шансов быть более благоразумными. Наши украинские девочки боятся чужой страны. ( нормальные девочки) и пробуют цепляться за жизнь любыми способами. Но они привыкли к этой стране. и вероятно поменять место жительства для такой неуравновешенной дамы очень опасно в ее понимании. это не неуважение. это простая трусость что либо изменить. Поэтому для таких дам самое лучшее это найти бедного парня который согласиться жить  На Украине. не осуждай их. и оставь ее . она сделала свой выбор. кроме того в каждой семье есть свои правила. если девочка боится но рядом мама которая боится ее отпустить в другую страну для счастья. то девочка будет слушать рекомендации мамы. это не твой вариант.
 кроме того. я сразу поняла что вы для нее вообще не представляете интереса. Она живет собственными проблемами и посвящать вас в это не хочет. у вас нет шансов. идите вперед.... у нас есть еще много девочек которые мечтают о встрече с вами.
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Halo

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2013, 10:54:53 AM »
"бо" is a stand alone Ukrainian word.  You will find it in Ukrainian language dictionaries.  It is usually translated as "because", but can also mean "as" or "otherwise", depending on the context.

The phrase above is a common one used in certain layers of Ukrainian society, and its meaning depends on the context.  In this context it is cynical.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2013, 10:56:41 AM »
вооо у  вас собственные лингвисты украинского языка имеются англо- американско- саксонского происхождения? так какого черта я тут распинаюсь?
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline AJ

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2013, 11:06:31 AM »
Kenny-you say shes been a  poor mood and this sounds like its merely a cynical quip, while being in one.
So just ask her direct questions about your relationship, and why she doesn't seem to want you to visit?

I certainly wouldn't herd cats, if the relationship dynamic is  ANYTHING like that, then its unlikely you are truly compatible together?
I hear  often about how hard work a relationship is, I don't buy into that, it shouldn't be.
No its not all rainbows and daises, but it should generally enrich the lives of both parties.

  I wouldn't over analyze, or take the one off quip ,by someone in a poor mood , as anything but just a quip.
I'd dismiss that and simply ask what's really bothering them, they seem troubled or down, etc.
 (sounds like you've done that)

However,  I also wouldn't dream of visiting someone who did not seem to want me to,
and I'd find that out right now,  without putting much more time in.

Good Luck.

Offline kenny2112

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2013, 11:10:20 AM »
Спасибо, Ladine ... Да, я немного говорю по России и прочитать некоторые из них также. Немного :)) Я хотел бы говорить на украинском!)) Мне сказали, что я говорю на русском с украинским акцентом. )) Я люблю Украину ... Честно говоря, я. Я посетил свою деревню, и я сказал сестре, что я хотел бы жить в деревне. Я мог бы быть очень счастлив, живя в Америке и на Украине тоже. Я знаю, эта девушка очень хорошо. Она боится всего ... очень застенчивый ... считает, что она глупа, потому что она не может говорить на английском языке. Она говорит мне, это часто. Я говорю ей, что это не так.

Вот в чем проблема. Я люблю эту девушку. Только два раза в своей жизни я не был по-настоящему влюблен. Для меня, это не о сексе или с кем-то заботиться обо мне ... Я люблю ее всем сердцем, и я хочу заботиться о ней и защищать ее и любить ее. Я честный человек. Все это трудно объяснить. Я знаю, что что-то не так ... все изменилось ... ее отношение ко мне изменилось. Я погоне за призраком. Спасибо за Ваши добрые слова ... очень приятно

Offline Halo

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2013, 11:13:23 AM »
вооо у  вас собственные лингвисты украинского языка имеются англо- американско- саксонского происхождения? так какого черта я тут распинаюсь?

I am not American, nor am I Anglo-Saxon.  I grew up speaking Ukrainian as a native language, learning it from my bilingual Ukrainian mother, as well as my Ukrainian grandmother who spoke little English, all while living in a predominantly Ukrainian neighbourhood.  I attended a Ukrainian church daily, which was 200 m from our home, went to a Ukrainian kindergarten at the church where all the children, like me, spoke Ukrainian, and, like most ethnic Ukrainian children in my city, attended Ukrainian school every Saturday as a child.  I studied Ukrainian in high school and university, with professors who were native speakers, mostly from Central Ukraine.  As a teen just out of high school, I moved to Kiev, part of an exchange programme with my university, so I had full credit for my course work in Ukraine.  Relatively few people in those days in Kiev were even willing to speak Ukrainian, preferring surzhik.  It was while living in Kiev that I met my husband. 

Your respect for the Ukrainian language is so great, you posted in Russian. 

So, while I owe you no explanation, don't make assumptions about who I am or what I know.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Ladine

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2013, 11:28:00 AM »
Так. я розумію ваше бажання мене дорікнути за мою російську мову проживаючи на Україні все життя. Так. у нас на півдні українська мова вивчався як другий після основного російської. і за іронією долі та станом здоров'я я була звільнена від вивчення цієї мови . але це не означає що я не знаю мови моєї країни в якій я живу і спілкуюся. крім того справжня життя української спадщини дуже сильно відрізняється від реального життя українських сімей. Дуже відчувався суржик коли уряд став тиснути російськомовне населення переучуватися навіть стариків на національну мову . але це абсолютно не говорить про те що ця приказка звучить образливо коли я на приклад просто відпочиваю. і можу залишити своїх друзів на 5 хвилин налити собі чаю тільки тому що я хочу пити. це абсолютно не йде в розріз справжньому моєму відношенню до друзів як неповагу . чи не так?
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline kenny2112

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2013, 11:32:25 AM »
Hey AJ... I'm good friends with her sister who speaks English really well and she has tried to convince me that she's just really shy, super nervous and scared of everything and I know that when she gets upset she shuts down.

Initially things were as you described. Everything just fell into place. There was no effort needed and there was no doubt in my mind of her feelings and the direction that everything was going in. She was crazy about me and I didn't need any clarification. There was no "you're my boyfriend" or "I'm your girlfriend" but all of our friends and her family could see it and they were shocked because she had never been this way with a guy before.

It was only when I asked her where we stood that things began to fall apart and the harder I try, the worse things got... and get. Direct questions are avoided. Even trying to cheer her up by talking about positive things like plans to meet in the future set her off and I get "why do you ask? nothing has changed for me. You doubt me? You doubt that I want to see you?" The stuff leaves me spinning around with a little cat lasso whispering "here kitty kitty kitty... let's get you back in the kitty coral" wondering what the hell just happened.

If I didn't truly love her, I would have given up a long time ago. I've had lots of other offers and they're still pursuing me but I love this girl and the kicker is that she used to love me also. I'm just not as positive and optimistic as I used to be. Stinkin' thinkin' is messing me up

Offline Larry

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2013, 11:48:04 AM »
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She's been down and depressed lately and gets offended and twists my words to a degree that baffles my mind. A conversation meant to cheer her up by reminding her of when we were together and everything was awesome... by asking her "hey! what's wrong? what happened to that girl that ran to me and hugged me like she never wanted to let go? Everything is going to be alright" gets turned around into something offensive and she takes it as me saying that she's bad or acting poorly towards me now when compared to before... which is true...

This stuff is like herding cats sometimes or trying to put toothpaste back in the tube! Worth it? Yeah, when things are good they're awesome but... the awesome days are getting to be fewer and fewer and I'm getting less and less the more understanding and supportive I try to be.

Judging only by your posts in this thread, it sounds as if your relationship is on the skids.  This sort of thing has happened to me too.  Most of the signs were the same as in your case.  Her attitude toward you changes completely.  She says things that she never would have said before. She does things that she never would have done before.  She takes offense at completely innocent remarks.  Being understanding and supportive help not at all.  It becomes progressively worse until one of you puts an end to the relationship.  I hope you can salvage things, if you decide that's what you want to do.

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If I didn't truly love her, I would have given up a long time ago. I've had lots of other offers and they're still pursuing me but I love this girl and the kicker is that she used to love me also.

She probably did once love you.  But her words and actions certainly aren't those of someone who still loves you.  It's possible there is some benign explanation for this change, but I wouldn't bet on it. 

Several years ago I had an emotional parting with a FSUW I had asked to marry me. I had never felt such a powerful love from any girl in my life.  It was extraordinary.  As I boarded the plane I knew there was no way we would fail to marry unless one of us died.  I thought there was no other possibility that we would lose our relationship.  A few months later I discovered I was wrong.

I think many, perhaps most, of these international relationships are very fragile and changeable. Frankly, it seems there are more than a few FSUW who can't keep their feelings for long, especially at such a distance.  I will probably see responses from several guys whose girlfriends or wives are not like that. To those guys I would respond - have you considered that not every FSUW is like your wife?

Offline kenny2112

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Re: Хочу чаю ,бо скучаю
« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2013, 12:22:26 PM »
Spot on, Larry. I do remember when things changed and some of the reasons why things changed. I had hoped that she knew my character and that she could be strong enough to have her own opinions and make her own decisions but I guess this is not so.

I think the comment or joke that started all of this was a jab. Either way, she didn't or doesn't care enough to try to make things right and there's tension. I'll always hope that things change or turn out. Thanks


 

 

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