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Author Topic: My Trainwreck Story  (Read 16916 times)

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Offline rosco

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #25 on: October 15, 2013, 08:15:47 AM »
We learn by learning.

It is likely that the situation is not as the OP thinks it is given the stuff that he (and most readers here) probably does not know about prevalent attitudes toward contraception.

Asking a question or two might be enlightening, but as I noted above, I agree about dumping her. If I understand the timeline correctly, she still has plenty of time to get an abortion anyway, even if the foetus is his.

I think that the OP knows its not his and she's done the deed during his absence, but I may be wrong.

Also, depending on her age I'd assume that she knows all about the pill rather than the abortion route. It ain't the 1950's.

Offline AKA Luke

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #26 on: October 15, 2013, 11:17:49 AM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X
I know I am I'm sure I am I'm Rotherham til I die!

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #27 on: October 15, 2013, 12:01:15 PM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X

 (:) :BLUSH:
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.


Offline shakespear

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #28 on: October 15, 2013, 12:51:18 PM »
Commiserations Bluesman, again I add, thank God you found out in time.

Exactly. 

Have you notified BCIS "IN WRITING" that you are withdrawing your K-1 petition?  If you don't do this, they will continue on with the approval and interview process and you could disccover some time next year that she's living in the USA banging some other dude.  Of course as her "sponsor" the government expects you to reimburse them for all the medical and low income benefits she is receiving.   
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" - Katharine Hepburn

Offline shakespear

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #29 on: October 15, 2013, 12:52:55 PM »
Commiserations Bluesman, again I add, thank God you found out in time.

Furthermore redroo - you have the most fantastic avatar I've ever seen.  If that is your typical Aussie lass, then we're looking in the wrong place   :nod:
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" - Katharine Hepburn

Offline Muzh_1

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #30 on: October 15, 2013, 12:59:41 PM »
Commiserations Bluesman, again I add, thank God you found out in time.

Furthermore redroo - you have the most fantastic avatar I've ever seen.  If that is your typical Aussie lass, then we're looking in the wrong place   :nod:

I already mentioned the same to him quite some time ago.  :smokin:

Offline AKA Luke

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #31 on: October 15, 2013, 01:56:03 PM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X

 (:) :BLUSH:


This isn't me, I've never ventured to Ukraine.


My lips are sealed as to who this comment was aimed at
I know I am I'm sure I am I'm Rotherham til I die!

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #32 on: October 15, 2013, 02:06:08 PM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X

 (:) :BLUSH:


This isn't me, I've never ventured to Ukraine.


My lips are sealed as to who this comment was aimed at

 :chuckle: :) ;D
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Dogsoldier

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #33 on: October 15, 2013, 02:08:33 PM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X

 (:) :BLUSH:


This isn't me, I've never ventured to Ukraine.


My lips are sealed as to who this comment was aimed at

 :chuckle: :) ;D
The suspense is killing me.  :hidechair:

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #34 on: October 15, 2013, 02:41:14 PM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X

 (:) :BLUSH:


This isn't me, I've never ventured to Ukraine.


My lips are sealed as to who this comment was aimed at

 :chuckle: :) ;D
The suspense is killing me.  :hidechair:

is it joke?
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline bluesman

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #35 on: October 15, 2013, 02:45:33 PM »
We learn by learning.

It is likely that the situation is not as the OP thinks it is given the stuff that he (and most readers here) probably does not know about prevalent attitudes toward contraception.

Asking a question or two might be enlightening, but as I noted above, I agree about dumping her. If I understand the timeline correctly, she still has plenty of time to get an abortion anyway, even if the foetus is his.


I am sure it is not mine. Not sure I will even know if she is pregnant or not. Dont care at this point guys. Just trying to help the next guy out. I dont know what she is up to at this point either but it dont sound good.

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #36 on: October 15, 2013, 02:59:16 PM »
Bluesman  Do not worry. I think the child does not exist. Young girls often use this trick. that would get the opportunity to go to another country. The usual pragmatism. and any kind of love. we now have a pragmatic youth
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Halo

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #37 on: October 15, 2013, 03:02:07 PM »
But they don't usually use the trick claiming they are pregnant with another man's child.
After the fall of communism, the biggest mistake Boris Yeltsin's regime made was not to disband the KGB altogether. Instead it changed its name to the FSB and, to many observers, morphed into a gangster organisation, eventually headed by master criminal Vladimir Putin. - Gerard Batten

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #38 on: October 15, 2013, 03:09:31 PM »
But they don't usually use the trick claiming they are pregnant with another man's child.

maybe the guy was just blinded and did not want to understand that the girl is so telling him not? because we are not accustomed to be rude guests. how can you tell about it differently? She found a way out. said that the pregnant woman from the other in the hope that the guy will leave her first.

this trick also used for separation.
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Vinnvinny

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #39 on: October 15, 2013, 03:10:51 PM »
I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on ....  :chuckle:

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.

 :-X

 (:) :BLUSH:


This isn't me, I've never ventured to Ukraine.


My lips are sealed as to who this comment was aimed at

I've no idea who it could be either as I've never seen such guys myself, and if anyone would have seen them I would have. I considered attempting to authenticate Andrew’s opinion but unfortunately I can’t get my head up my posterior that far.

Offline bluesman

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #40 on: October 15, 2013, 03:18:36 PM »
Bluesman  Do not worry. I think the child does not exist. Young girls often use this trick. that would get the opportunity to go to another country. The usual pragmatism. and any kind of love. we now have a pragmatic youth


This is not the case. She was coming but had to tell me prior to her exam. She thought about this for 2 months I assume and the damn thing is is that she is still willing to come. The more I try to figure it out the more confused I am. I feel that If she were truly pregnant and willing to come then her main interest would be to have the child here.I feel that this situation is honesty mixed with dishonesty to a degree that I cannot truly figure it out. BTW she is in her 30's so she is not a pragmatic youth.She changed in the last year. Quit driving lessons, quit her friends one by one and so on. Could IOM tell me if she was pregnant from the test?

Offline Vinnvinny

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #41 on: October 15, 2013, 03:21:12 PM »
bluesman, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no point.

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #42 on: October 15, 2013, 03:27:17 PM »
Bluesman  Do not worry. I think the child does not exist. Young girls often use this trick. that would get the opportunity to go to another country. The usual pragmatism. and any kind of love. we now have a pragmatic youth


This is not the case. She was coming but had to tell me prior to her exam. She thought about this for 2 months I assume and the damn thing is is that she is still willing to come. The more I try to figure it out the more confused I am. I feel that If she were truly pregnant and willing to come then her main interest would be to have the child here.I feel that this situation is honesty mixed with dishonesty to a degree that I cannot truly figure it out. BTW she is in her 30's so she is not a pragmatic youth.She changed in the last year. Quit driving lessons, quit her friends one by one and so on. Could IOM tell me if she was pregnant from the test?


BM I would have regarded it differently. There is a category of women who with age become more pragmatic. Because they are not mixed with the hormonal drive with a real purpose. Most likely she just wants to have another life. But do not think that it will be connected with love. She plans to take the training for citizenship and work. But in her view I do not see any place for you. pure pragmatism . and as long as you're willing to give her the green light to another country . it will try to throw everything in her country. she would do anything just to leave our faster FSU. Yes it 's not fair to You. but only 50 %. In any case, it is truer to say that the child is not yours .. or not?
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #43 on: October 15, 2013, 03:29:13 PM »
bluesman, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no point.

He just wants to know WHY?
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Vinnvinny

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #44 on: October 15, 2013, 03:33:22 PM »
bluesman, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no point.

He just wants to know WHY?

I know, but he never will. That's why there is no point trying to do so.

Offline Ladine

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #45 on: October 15, 2013, 03:35:31 PM »
bluesman, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no point.

He just wants to know WHY?

I know, but he never will. That's why there is no point trying to do so.

Why Vinny? I am here..... I will try it  :)

 эээх ты Винни Пух. Пяточка тебе не хватает ))))
smart will learn - a fool would teach.
Никогда не оправдывайся, если ты невиновен. Если в вас бросают грязью, к вам может и не долететь. А руки того, кто это делает, останутся в грязи. Люблю вас всех.

Offline Hammer2722

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #46 on: October 15, 2013, 03:43:00 PM »
Bluesman  Do not worry. I think the child does not exist. Young girls often use this trick. that would get the opportunity to go to another country. The usual pragmatism. and any kind of love. we now have a pragmatic youth


This is not the case. She was coming but had to tell me prior to her exam. She thought about this for 2 months I assume and the damn thing is is that she is still willing to come. The more I try to figure it out the more confused I am. I feel that If she were truly pregnant and willing to come then her main interest would be to have the child here.I feel that this situation is honesty mixed with dishonesty to a degree that I cannot truly figure it out. BTW she is in her 30's so she is not a pragmatic youth.She changed in the last year. Quit driving lessons, quit her friends one by one and so on. Could IOM tell me if she was pregnant from the test?

Isn't pregnancy cause for an automatic denial of the K1 Visa?

Offline AKA Luke

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #47 on: October 15, 2013, 03:46:08 PM »
bluesman, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no point.

He just wants to know WHY?

I know, but he never will. That's why there is no point trying to do so.

Why Vinny? I am here..... I will try it  :)

 эээх ты Винни Пух. Пяточка тебе не хватает ))))

bluesman, stop trying to figure it all out. There is no point.

He just wants to know WHY?

I know, but he never will. That's why there is no point trying to do so.

Agreed, move on. Sounds like a lucky escape.
I know I am I'm sure I am I'm Rotherham til I die!

Offline gfinfla

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #48 on: October 15, 2013, 03:48:33 PM »
Bluesman  Do not worry. I think the child does not exist. Young girls often use this trick. that would get the opportunity to go to another country. The usual pragmatism. and any kind of love. we now have a pragmatic youth


This is not the case. She was coming but had to tell me prior to her exam. She thought about this for 2 months I assume and the damn thing is is that she is still willing to come. The more I try to figure it out the more confused I am. I feel that If she were truly pregnant and willing to come then her main interest would be to have the child here.I feel that this situation is honesty mixed with dishonesty to a degree that I cannot truly figure it out. BTW she is in her 30's so she is not a pragmatic youth.She changed in the last year. Quit driving lessons, quit her friends one by one and so on. Could IOM tell me if she was pregnant from the test?

Isn't pregnancy cause for an automatic denial of the K1 Visa?
No

Offline AJ

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Re: My Trainwreck Story
« Reply #49 on: October 15, 2013, 04:22:49 PM »
Thanks for sharing your story.

You found out she's basically a flake now, before things progressed further to marriage.
The warning signs you say where there ( distancing herself from friends/family etc)

You seem to have moved on, and have a good attitude about it.
So just don't let it damage future relationships.

I wouldn't waste much time figuring anything out.
You are no longer  involved with her, and do not want to be, there's no real need to understand the why,unless you can grow or learn from it.

 Since it appears she simply makes choices that are in her best interest *at the moment*, with little regard to others (pretty common really) there doesn't seem to be much opportunity in there to learn much,  other than most dogs, are better than most people.

Sorry vinny.
 ;D
I'll refrain from posting a dog  photo for your sake though.