My Trainwreck Story

[bluesman]

Hello everyone, This is my experience. I had a lovely Moldovan girl i have traveled with and we decided on marrige and went through the K1 process. Well it takes 9 months for approval and just before we get approval for interview she decides to go work in Germany as an immigrant. Well the last 3 months she seemed different and sure enough it turns out she was knocked-up by her ex boyfriend while there. She finally told me after she was 2 months along. Now she is acting normal again and will to continue with the process if I desire. Guys, things really started well and were great and she will never understand how much I loved her. She does not love her ex and does not want to be with him but this is the worst a woman has ever treated me. She screwed me over right as the door opened. She was never a golddigger. Very independant,smart and well rounded but she gave up on me and burned me real good. I know she is sorry but I cannot understand how some of these girls can be so heartless. I hate it for the both of us. If there is anything I have learned its that it takes a long time to really know some of these girls. THis woman was the one I wanted and made me feel really good. but I cannot understand her train of thought and reasoning. We are the same age and this will be her first child. I was so close yet so far. I wish I could be with her but all trust is gone now.I wish I had someone to explain to me how some of these girls can be this way.

[TomT]

It comes easily to sociopaths. Unfortunately, people with this affliction can be very superficially charming and can inspire love in others.

[Boris]

I'm sorry this happened to you. But, at least you found out before the visa was approved and she came to the US. Your problems would be magnified by a factor of 10. With time you will feel better and you have learned some things along the way. Good luck...

[Manny]

How many times did you meet? And for how long?

[Isthmus]

It comes easily to sociopaths. Unfortunately, people with this affliction can be very superficially charming and can inspire love in others.

Very true.

Bluesman, I wouldn't call it a train wreck. Just think of it as dodging a bullet and learning a lesson.

[bluesman]

How many times did you meet? And for how long?

3 times for 2 weeks at a time.

[TomT]

How many times did you meet? And for how long?

3 times for 2 weeks at a time.

It should have been enough but it's never enough, if you catch my drift.  Unless some remarkable event takes place (as it did), it takes years of living with someone before you really get to know them. I have to say, having a fiancee who gets knocked up by another man is quite a game-changer.

How many of those three visits were spent in her hometown?

[andrewfi]

Are you sure she's pregnant?

[bluesman]

Are you sure she's pregnant?

No, It would be even worse if she was not.

[TomT]

Are you sure she's pregnant?

No, It would be even worse if she was not.

Actually, it would be just about the same. It's a good bet that she got hooked up with a German man, not her ex, while she was in Germany.

[bluesman]

Both are possible, but her ex lives in Germany, I will never know for sure.

[TomT]

OK. That clarifies things; she didn't go there primarily for work, it didn't pan out and you were her back-up plan.

[Isthmus]

Both are possible, but her ex lives in Germany, I will never know for sure.

Either way, its over and you are better off that it is. You dodged a bullet. Pick yourself up and try again.

[bluesman]

OK. That clarifies things; she didn't go there primarily for work, it didn't pan out and you were her back-up plan.

A plan to escape home i guess

[Mikeav8r]

Hello everyone, This is my experience. I had a lovely Moldovan girl i have traveled with and we decided on marrige and went through the K1 process. Well it takes 9 months for approval and just before we get approval for interview she decides to go work in Germany as an immigrant. Well the last 3 months she seemed different and sure enough it turns out she was knocked-up by her ex boyfriend while there. She finally told me after she was 2 months along. Now she is acting normal again and will to continue with the process if I desire. Guys, things really started well and were great and she will never understand how much I loved her. She does not love her ex and does not want to be with him but this is the worst a woman has ever treated me. She screwed me over right as the door opened. She was never a golddigger. Very independant,smart and well rounded but she gave up on me and burned me real good. I know she is sorry but I cannot understand how some of these girls can be so heartless. I hate it for the both of us. If there is anything I have learned its that it takes a long time to really know some of these girls. THis woman was the one I wanted and made me feel really good. but I cannot understand her train of thought and reasoning. We are the same age and this will be her first child. I was so close yet so far. I wish I could be with her but all trust is gone now.I wish I had someone to explain to me how some of these girls can be this way.

As previously mentioned, you ended up being a plan B unfortunately and she is in need of a Daddy for baby.  The trip to Germany was more than likely to try and patch things up with the ex.  Cut off all ties and move on and heal.  They are not all like that so keep the ole chin up and hang in there.  Continue your search when you are ready to do so.

[patagonie]

Guy
you are going to get married to a girl who just showed you few time before the big day that your value is really less than your competitor.
You reward her behavior by marrying with her. This one is especially a trouble with an FSU women. Because more than any AW a FSU women can only love a guy she respects (and we can say this is a universal law, but MORE with FSU ladies). You just showed weakness rather than to be tough.

I let you imagine the rest of adventure with such start.

Your short post is full of neediness :
She decides to go to work as an immigrant (you kid me, before emigrating in USA for something serious like a marriage she suddenly goes in Germany ?)
She was knocked up by her ex GF (are you sure that it is not the opposite ?)
She told me after 2 month along (so during two months you continue to be the puppy dog while she was  ed every night by .... man or men)
SHe does not love her ex and don't want be with him (your version)
this is the worst a woman has ever treated me (but you want her)
i know she is sorry (your version, when she decided to go to  this guy she was not sorry, sorry is guilt, guilt is something that women don't fear want they think about themselves in relationship, and when they feel guilt, or sorry, it just means that there is no love left and their interest is on an other man).
I cannot understand how some of these girls can be so heartless (so why get married with such girl ?)
I hate it for both of us (why do  you want to hate yourself ? The only one to hate and to fire is her)
THis woman was the one I wanted (but your are the one she don't really want, what is your value ?)
this will be her first child (you are dealing a market with her ?)
all trust is gone (i can believe you, and i would have gone also)
I wish I had someone to explain to me how some of these girls can be this way (yes i can explain you : you have not met enough girl and you are have "bob the nice guy" demeanor with them)

All rebound guys i have met in my life (myself included) had been almost for ever cleaned to the toilets, just a question of time (few months generally, one or two years perhaps).

[rosco]

Well done for sharing this btw, not an easy thing to do but hopefully informative for others.

The boys called this one right I'm afraid.  Pull your socks up and move on, this girl ain't worth knowing whether there's a bun in the oven or not.

[andrewfi]

Where she comes from abortion is contraception. That's why I asked if she was really pregnant.

I agree about dumping her but the game may not be what we think.

Why tell you that the baby is not yours when she did not need to say anything?
Just curious, that's me. Babies have been used to manipulate men since god was wearing short trousers and I am sure that at least one former poster has been a cuckoo, but why to tell you, and that it ain't yours. Are you SURE it ain't yours?

[Ladine]

or maybe just tell the girl that the guy will do a DNA test? But this test will pay for the girl. Russian girls often can not afford to pay for such tests.  answer game on game

[redroo]

Commiserations Bluesman, again I add, thank God you found out in time.

[rosco]

Where she comes from abortion is contraception. That's why I asked if she was really pregnant.

I agree about dumping her but the game may not be what we think.

Why tell you that the baby is not yours when she did not need to say anything?
Just curious, that's me. Babies have been used to manipulate men since god was wearing short trousers and I am sure that at least one former poster has been a cuckoo, but why to tell you, and that it ain't yours. Are you SURE it ain't yours?

I wouldn't want to waste anymore time trying to find out unless you enjoy the head  . Next.....

[Mikeav8r]

Where she comes from abortion is contraception. That's why I asked if she was really pregnant.

I agree about dumping her but the game may not be what we think.

Why tell you that the baby is not yours when she did not need to say anything?
Just curious, that's me. Babies have been used to manipulate men since god was wearing short trousers and I am sure that at least one former poster has been a cuckoo, but why to tell you, and that it ain't yours. Are you SURE it ain't yours?

I wouldn't want to waste anymore time trying to find out unless you enjoy the head  . Next.....

Agree.  It is a moot point now.  She cheated with one or more guys and then when something that affected her decision process came up, she confessed.  Dump her and move on. She can never be trusted.

[andrewfi]

We learn by learning.

It is likely that the situation is not as the OP thinks it is given the stuff that he (and most readers here) probably does not know about prevalent attitudes toward contraception.

Asking a question or two might be enlightening, but as I noted above, I agree about dumping her. If I understand the timeline correctly, she still has plenty of time to get an abortion anyway, even if the foetus is his.

[Ladine]

I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on .... 

[andrewfi]

I've been using it for many years.

 only interested in my legs? next ...
 interested in my body? next ....
 interested in my personal property? next ....
 only interested in erotic webcam? next .....

  and so on .... 

I can understand your frustration. Some guys are in a similar boat, taking trips from the UK to Ukraine weekend after weekend trying to find the next Mrs Right and only finding Mrs Right-Now.