Gifts when meeting with RW?

[Dogsoldier]

Never heard of Interflora?

[Justmd]

I can honestly tell you I have never bought a women a bunch of flowers during all my trips to Eastern Europe!
I have not even bought my wife a bunch of flowers! (Shame on me) Always been to busy! Im always getting nagged about that. Of course I take her shopping:)

But a good way to test if the women really is interested in "You" or a "Gift" tell her you bought some chocolates but you left them on the train or something If she puts her nose up in the air its best to get rid of here there and then

Wow. You're obviously a gent.

Sometimes I was meeting 5/6 women over the weekend, I couldn't afford flowers for all of them! 

How in the hell did you meet 5/6 women over a weekend?

[AvHdB]

I can honestly tell you I have never bought a women a bunch of flowers during all my trips to Eastern Europe!
I have not even bought my wife a bunch of flowers! (Shame on me) Always been to busy! Im always getting nagged about that. Of course I take her shopping:)

But a good way to test if the women really is interested in "You" or a "Gift" tell her you bought some chocolates but you left them on the train or something If she puts her nose up in the air its best to get rid of here there and then

Wow. You're obviously a gent.

Sometimes I was meeting 5/6 women over the weekend, I couldn't afford flowers for all of them! 

How in the hell did you meet 5/6 women over a weekend?

I wondered the same thing   

The most women I met was 6 women but that was from Friday to Sunday evening in the same city, L'viv (Lvov). And yes I gave them all a simple gift, chocolates from Belgium. Total cost €30,= (Okay one woman did not get any chocs) I gave them to my wingman who gave the chocs to his wife and daughter.

My thought if you can not afford this sort of outlay than perhaps you are pursuing the wrong sort of fish.

[2tallbill]

How in the hell did you meet 5/6 women over a weekend?

On a two day weekend he could meet two on one day and three on the next,
if you count Friday afternoon to Sunday he could meet 1, 2 and 2.

[Justmd]

How in the hell did you meet 5/6 women over a weekend?

On a two day weekend he could meet two on one day and three on the next,
if you count Friday afternoon to Sunday he could meet 1, 2 and 2.

I gave all my time/plans to one lady when traveling to another country...can't imagine 5/6.

[AvHdB]

How in the hell did you meet 5/6 women over a weekend?

On a two day weekend he could meet two on one day and three on the next,
if you count Friday afternoon to Sunday he could meet 1, 2 and 2.

I gave all my time/plans to one lady when traveling to another country...can't imagine 5/6.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the WOVO plan. But for some the fields are too big, for others (myself included) I did not want to build a relationship on the internet (skype). It is question of approach and attack.

In the end though my now wife was an introduction from a mutual friend in Kiev.

[Steveboy]

I used to sit on VK copy pasting the same message to hundreds of women a few days before I arrived in Russia A little like a mail shot, thats usually a 5/8% response. 500 messages can easily give 25 women to meet over a weekend it was just fun at the time and an opportunity to meet new people, I wasn't looking for marriage.

[Steveboy]

I can honestly tell you I have never bought a women a bunch of flowers during all my trips to Eastern Europe!
I have not even bought my wife a bunch of flowers! (Shame on me) Always been to busy! Im always getting nagged about that. Of course I take her shopping:)

But a good way to test if the women really is interested in "You" or a "Gift" tell her you bought some chocolates but you left them on the train or something If she puts her nose up in the air its best to get rid of here there and then

Wow. You're obviously a gent.

Sometimes I was meeting 5/6 women over the weekend, I couldn't afford flowers for all of them!

But now you only have one, I assume, so what's wrong now?

Im probably to lazy(((( There are three flower shops right outside my metro, I must make more of an effort :hide chair: Im ok buying handbags and things:)

Probably too tight 

I managed to get my wallet out 8th March, a treat to the Spa centre

[2tallbill]

I managed to get my wallet out 8th March, a treat to the Spa centre

Ty molodetz

[2tallbill]

I gave all my time/plans to one lady when traveling to another country...can't imagine 5/6.

I've done that myself, however if there is no chemistry when I met them then
I scrambled to a plan b. 

[Omega1982]

NEVER give a Slavic woman a wrist watch......
I'm told it means "your time is up girl"   

I got my wife an Omega and she is still here. 

How old is her mobile phone?  An Apple iphone5 is an idea (designed by a Brit).

My wife has one of those too.

The key word though is wife. This is a girl he has known a little. Its not about money, its about thought. A token gesture between folk who might form a bond - its not about impressing a poor girl with a few quid so she gets her knickers off.

He might have a few quid, and so might she. That means that stuff that costs big bucks is not a replacement for thought.

For me, the budget would be about £100 on her. Half of that would be spent in the Duty Free at the airport on perfume. A jar of Branston, a block of organic cheese from somewhere rural and a pair of nice Italian stockings would probably cover all the bases. Bottle of scotch for father, some chocolate stuff for mother, a toy if there is a kid involved. Double the budget at a push to include all of them. Job done.

No need to go daft.

We send often (and take) Yorkshire Tea (nice with Russian water) and Green & Blacks chocolate. They are always very well received by everyone.

Manny, is this budget for a first or second meeting? 

[Steveboy]

I always say its best to send virtual gifts for the first few meetings to save on costs..

Anyway its the thought that counts ? Not the cost..

[andrewfi]

Steve, you probably already know this,  but you are spot on right!
Virtual gifts have a very powerful effect upon recipients. They do act in the same way as a real gift. The cost is trivial but the effect is not. If making  'real' relationships, knowing what I now know about virtual gifting, I'd not think of sending a real gift to a person I had only met online.

Even after meeting they are still effective and valued.

People are strange.

[Steveboy]

If a women really loves you or is really interested in you it is "The thought that counts"

No need for spending budgets on gifts and things.. I could never imagine myself going to meet a women with a budget set aside for buying gifts..you just go with the flow

[cufflinks]

Bump...

Clueless... What exactly is a "Virtual Gift" 

Can only imagine a Virtual Gift = Real FSUW feeling of being the Dreaded "Cheap Man"...  What am I missing here?

[Olga_Mouse]

I always say its best to send virtual gifts for the first few meetings to save on costs..

Erm... Guys, do please enlighten me, what a "virtual gift" is? 

A certificate or a voucher for an access to some online cinema, or online language courses, or what?

[dcguyusa]

Not sure if this answers the question of virtual gift, but I have seen some dating sites allow a customer to send a gift (a representation of some kind of items like flowers, perfumes, dresses, underwear, phones, wine, tech gadgets, boxes of chocolates, etc.) to another person.  It costs some credits to do this.  The recipient does not actually receive anything.  It follows the saying that "it is the thought that counts".  The person who gets the virtual gift feels noticed and remembered (for what that is worth).   

http://virtualgifts4u.com/sendthings.htm

I just sent everyone here a virtual million dollars.   So that should make everyone an attractive target for prospective dates.      

[Olga_Mouse]

Not sure if this answers the question of virtual gift, but I have seen some dating sites allow a customer to send a gift (a representation of some kind of items like flowers, perfumes, dresses, underwear, phones, wine, tech gadgets, boxes of chocolates, etc.) to another person. 

It costs some credits to do this.  The recipient does not actually receive anything. 

It follows the saying that "it is the thought that counts". 

Also... money (credits) for nothing. I've seen something like that on Odnoklassniki, I think.

Am not getting the point of that "virtual gifts" thing (apart from obvious profit for the dating \ contact sites, of course!).

[patagonie]

Not sure if this answers the question of virtual gift, but I have seen some dating sites allow a customer to send a gift (a representation of some kind of items like flowers, perfumes, dresses, underwear, phones, wine, tech gadgets, boxes of chocolates, etc.) to another person. 

It costs some credits to do this.  The recipient does not actually receive anything. 

It follows the saying that "it is the thought that counts". 

Also... money (credits) for nothing. I've seen something like that on Odnoklassniki, I think.

Am not getting the point of that "virtual gifts" thing (apart from obvious profit for the dating \ contact sites, of course!).

+1 those virtual gifts are totally stupid. I prefer to send some bouquet to a real lady through a real shop.

[andrewfi]

I just sent everyone here a virtual million dollars.   So that should make everyone an attractive target for prospective dates.      

Much as I welcome your gift and look forward to spending it, sadly a gift that has no cost (monetary or otherwise - for those who think in terms of money in terms of cost or value) does not serve the purpose.

There's a psychological mechanism at play here. If you want to learn a lot more then take a look here: https://research.fb.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/12423357_160080064626552_365211832366923776_n.pdf

However, in very short terms, this is about how humans perceive gifts. They do two things, they show appreciation and they anticipate reciprocity. So, we like to receive gifts and we like to give something in return. Of course, we do not necessarily give the same thing back and, in the dating model that's the anticipation. I give some unknown woman a virtual gift and, in exchange, I hope that she gives me the gift of contact. Bottom line: it works.

Of course, we might now hear from women who say that only silly people think like this, but the chances are that such a reply will also come from a person whose expectations from a potential mate are, shall we say, exalted?

Humans know this stuff works. How do we know on an empirical level? Just try sending a man or woman, depending upon orientation, a 'sponsored' or otherwise free virtual gift - response rates fall through the floor unless it is a gift that embodies value - such as access to a special offer that the recipient can use.

These virtual gifts work slightly differently among people who already know each other well as I think the paper to which I linked will show. However, the underlying social reasons remain the same, appreciation and reciprocity.

[Olga_Mouse]

However, in very short terms, this is about how humans perceive gifts.
They do two things, they show appreciation and they anticipate reciprocity.

I can't help remembering "5 love languages" book... 

Re. virtual gifts - means something the sender pays for, though the recipient gets nothing but a JPG file - I still believe it's quite a stupid thing.

If a man wants to show his appreciation for me without investing any money, he can simply show that he's thinking of me. He can send me "good morning" and "good night" messages, to express stability. He can listen to my complains about yet another difficult project, when I'm in yet another cold and soulless hotel room in Hanoi, Almaty or Dusseldorf. Thus he will express his appreciation by investing time and emotions. And he can surely expect reciprocity from me.

But if he wants to make me a gift - it shall be at least a bunch of flowers (even the 1.79 EUR tulips, grabbed in the supermarket next to the cashier) or a chocolate. AND this will already be ANOTHER of the 5 love languages...

[cufflinks]

However, in very short terms, this is about how humans perceive gifts.
They do two things, they show appreciation and they anticipate reciprocity.

I can't help remembering "5 love languages" book... 

Re. virtual gifts - means something the sender pays for, though the recipient gets nothing but a JPG file - I still believe it's quite a stupid thing.

If a man wants to show his appreciation for me without investing any money, he can simply show that he's thinking of me. He can send me "good morning" and "good night" messages, to express stability. He can listen to my complains about yet another difficult project, when I'm in yet another cold and soulless hotel room in Hanoi, Almaty or Dusseldorf. Thus he will express his appreciation by investing time and emotions. And he can surely expect reciprocity from me.

But if he wants to make me a gift - it shall be at least a bunch of flowers (even the 1.79 EUR tulips, grabbed in the supermarket next to the cashier) or a chocolate. AND this will already be ANOTHER of the 5 love languages...

I suffered a small existential crisis yesterday on the way to the man cave to watch game one of the Bruins-Blue Jackets Stanley Cup hockey finals (Bruins beat legendary Toronto and BJs beat TB Lightning to earn spots in this series)  - Along the way I saw a rather masculine lesbian woman in the driver seat of her car running her hand over her raised armpits big as you please and realized she was running a small Mennen Speed Pit Stick over her arm pits.   This is the same brand I use when heading to the Man Cave Cigar Sports lounge ... why shower and get immersed in Cigar Aroma when a quick pit stick stop will do? 

Then it dawned on me I might actually be a lesbian trapped in a Hideous Nuclear Sea Beast of a man's body?

Then today on RUA we discover that Olga Mouse that Roars had the same WTF reaction to so-called virtual gifts that I instinctually knew would engender thoughts of classic Cheap Man syndrome in a normal smart well traveled and intelligent RUA woman with a true Russian Soul - that this virtual gift guy(s) is a Cheap Skate.  All is well with the world again.

[Olga_Mouse]

Then today on RUA we discover that Olga Mouse that Roars had the same WTF reaction to so-called virtual gifts that I instinctually knew would engender thoughts of classic Cheap Man syndrome in a normal smart well traveled and intelligent RUA woman with a true Russian Soul - that this virtual gift guy(s) is a Cheap Skate.  All is well with the world again.

Cuffy, I wasn't saying anything about Cheap Men above. But "virtual gifts" are for me:

a) a mixture of two different love languages (appreciation \ encouraging words is one language, diving gifts is another);

b) a signal a man is not in good terms with budgeting and financial planning (who in his right mind would pay money, tokens, points, credits,  etc. - to send just a JPG  file?)

IMO, a man who invests real monetary value, knowing that the recipient at another end will get a gift with no monetary value has a higher risk of making unwise financial decisions, having debts, and all other sort of financial troubles that I don't want to drag him out. Just saying... 

[patagonie]

However, in very short terms, this is about how humans perceive gifts.
They do two things, they show appreciation and they anticipate reciprocity.

I can't help remembering "5 love languages" book... 

Re. virtual gifts - means something the sender pays for, though the recipient gets nothing but a JPG file - I still believe it's quite a stupid thing.

+1


If a man wants to show his appreciation for me without investing any money, he can simply show that he's thinking of me. He can send me "good morning" and "good night" messages, to express stability. He can listen to my complains about yet another difficult project, when I'm in yet another cold and soulless hotel room in Hanoi, Almaty or Dusseldorf. Thus he will express his appreciation by investing time and emotions. And he can surely expect reciprocity from me.

But if he wants to make me a gift - it shall be at least a bunch of flowers (even the 1.79 EUR tulips, grabbed in the supermarket next to the cashier) or a chocolate. AND this will already be ANOTHER of the 5 love languages...

[andrewfi]

Olga, you are not thinking this through.

1) When a person sends you a virtual gift they are thinking of you  -to the best of my knowledge there are no widespread schemes for automated sending of virtual gifts, somebody actually has to think about you and then spend the time and money to do something. It takes about the same amount of time for me to send a virtual gift and to send a bunch of flowers.

2) When you receive a virtual gift it is, in most cases, public, it shows on your profile. That serves to increase your value on the site because it shows that somebody is willing to spend money on you - in an environment where communication is almost frictionless and costless, the display of a virtual gift is of real value. When you receive virtual gifts your profile is almost certain to gain more attention and, unless, you are one of the Pareto 20, attention is not something most women get a lot of. That attention then feeds through to the search algorithms, I am not a designer of dating site search algorithms but I'd be very, very, surprised to learn that the receipt of virtual gifts had zero effect upon the placement of profiles in search resutls.