Married Guys: Tell Us How You Did It?

[GOB]

So I simply went on a date with someone I had communicated with thru skype ,mailru vid chat , email ,and phone.
She happened to live further away then my city ,or even the next city.
...........My plan was to see her, have our nice dinner date, and see where it lead.

And I think this is where some guys may get into trouble concerning this adventure.

They don't follow this process "naturally" like AJ describes.

Because the GoodOl' USA doesn't give the average Joe a month off for "holidays", some of these guys try to rush/compress this endeavor, almost to the point of desperation. ie: The OWW. 

And the expenses involved in this whole thing are exorbitant and cannot be overstated.

And yes, no matter how much money, emotion and time you have invested in an FSUW, you better be prepared to walk away if something seems wrong or the whole thing starts to go South.

Better to leave the "entitlement attitude" at home also.

Humbleness goes a long way in Russia.

Just my 2 kopecks.

GOB

[AJ]

I should add, there is something I would have done differently, I would have traveled to eastern europe  sooner.(if possible)

As it was I was in the Czech Rep with work prior to this whole thing really starting,
but was young and having fun, not marriage minded or marriage material then.

[Manny]

I was clearing out some old files on a stick today and found my long post above on this topic. I guess it needs waking up six years later. 

[Markje]

How did I do it?

I always did the Write 1, visit 1 trip. I also started out in my early thirties and had no rush to get married.

My backup plan was always the same: Vacation on the spot. If the girl didn't work out, I was going on vacation that time.

So I went to st. Petersburg. Woman was very hot, but I was not her type. At 1.92m tall she was also just inside my comfort zone there.

Then I went to Kharkov. Total loss. I knew within 10 minutes that I could not continue. Despite numerous skype sessions, in which I saw her, i couldn't have been more wrong.

I had a few more dates, also locally in Netherlands but the bug had bitten me by now. I didnt want a Dutch wife anymore.

So I contacted small agencies, one of which was Manny's very own ladagirl.

I started emailing a way-to-pretty lawyer, one that was far outside of my reach. I treated it like a joke, but amazingly it kept on living for a while on a slow pace.

I had started to send her money, to pay for internet and sms's.

She started SMS'ing me when I was on vacation and not near computers. I finally bit the bullet and wanted to meet in her hometown of Evpatoria (oh little did i know).

Right up until that time, all we did was writing cute letters during which just mundane stuff was exchanged. No heart&soul kind of stuff, but the words were quite clearly from an Intelligent woman.


When I met her first time, I knew it. I had met my wife. She felt the same way.

First day, she spoke zero english and had her textbook with her at all times.
Second day, we joked around in language and slowly her english improved

By the end of the week , we learned some kind of -gesture- language with sounds that resembled no language at all, but was a mix of Dutch/Russian/English.

3 months later I got my second visit, she had learnt english to a basic workable level (on my expense) and the rest is history.

By now, I have been married 8 years and have 2 sons

The details of how/what/when happened during the early days can be found in the threads in my signature.

Mark.

[Guile]

nice story Markje!  can relate to the Skype thing, have talked to some ladies for a period and all seems well. but until you meet them in person and can pick up all the non-verbal vibes you don't really know who they are.

[msmoby]

but until you meet them in person and can pick up all the non-verbal vibes you don't really know who they are.

Actually,

You don't really know each other - until you have eaten fifty tonnes of salt, together  ..

Lots of FSU folk say that - but I only found out, recently, that it was Aristotle who may have coined the proverb

There was me thinking this thread was about those who have married FSU women

[AvHdB]

nice story Markje!  can relate to the Skype thing, have talked to some ladies for a period and all seems well. but until you meet them in person and can pick up all the non-verbal vibes you don't really know who they are.

Like Markje, you can Skype initially but until you meet there is no way to know. It explains why I am cynical of those who begin a relationship on the basis of one meeting.

[msmoby]

AvHdB

Not sure what you mean - unless you suggest folks that meet once and marry - THEN live together ...

I 'met' my Siberian wife online - she didn't want to SKYPE - ( loves it now and her internet was crap) ) and came to ME in Cyprus for the first meeting - five days.

She had been contacted by enough guys - but they were too lazy to bother to fly to Siberia or invited her for a few days to Moscow on visit many trips and wondered why she declined 

I visited her in the depths of a Siberian winter and we lived together for 5 months before marrying, in Cyprus..   

That it didn't work out was certainly not because we 'rushed' into it ...

[Dachaguy]

I think most guys who experience "the feeling" know when it's THE girl. You both know it within the first few minutes and there is an immediate connection. I for one felt the same back in 2000 and we're still married.

[Guile]

Why DO guys -  who've never been married to a FSU women -  feel they are 'experts' ?

stop twisting words around, this ain't about marriage. this is about Skype meetings and girls. Has nothing to do with you.

btw are you still legally married to FSU #1 while cavorting with FSU #2.  I see they have both taken on your last name even though you are supposed to be divorced.

 Pretty sure I dated more Russians and have more lady friend in Russia than you ever will. 

[msmoby]

btw are you still legally married to FSU #1 while cavorting with FSU #2.  I see they have both taken on your last name even though you are supposed to be divorced.

So, you've been stalking their FB accounts ?  .. :Did you find my first wife and daughters, yet, 'Sherlock'...  ?

Pretty sure I dated more Russians and have more lady friend in Russia than you ever will.

Did you marry one? ... Do check the thread title.. 

[Guile]

So, you've been stalking their FB accounts ?  .. :Did you find my first wife and daughters, yet, 'Sherlock'...  ?

Did you marry one? ... Do check the thread title..

Like you stalking my location and IP?  You put up your own Facebook link on here. Not too hard to figure who you are Sherlock. You mean your British wife and estranged daughters?  Read what I was replying to you idiot, you aren't even married to one legally. 

[Chris]

So, you've been stalking their FB accounts ?  .. :Did you find my first wife and daughters, yet, 'Sherlock'...  ?

Did you marry one? ... Do check the thread title..

Like you stalking my location and IP?  You put up your own Facebook link on here. Not too hard to figure who you are Sherlock. You mean your British wife and estranged daughters?  Read what I was replying to you idiot, you aren't even married to one legally.

Guile, I am and I'm sure most of the membership are getting fed up with your incessant stalking and insulting of Moby, he might have his faults, but don't we all, but there is no need to make him the subject of every post you make, you are basically value negative here.

This is your one and only warning, any more of the same and you will be given a time out, without further notice!

[yankee]

So, you've been stalking their FB accounts ?  .. :Did you find my first wife and daughters, yet, 'Sherlock'...  ?

Did you marry one? ... Do check the thread title..

Like you stalking my location and IP?  You put up your own Facebook link on here. Not too hard to figure who you are Sherlock. You mean your British wife and estranged daughters?  Read what I was replying to you idiot, you aren't even married to one legally.

Guile, I am I'm sure most of the membership are getting fed up with your incessant stalking and insulting of Moby, he might have his faults, but don't we all, but there is no need to make him the subject of every post you make, you are basically value negative here.

This is your one and only warning, any more of the same and you will be given a time out, without further notice!

+1000

[Guile]

Guile, I am and I'm sure most of the membership are getting fed up with your incessant stalking and insulting of Moby, he might have his faults, but don't we all, but there is no need to make him the subject of every post you make, you are basically value negative here.

This is your one and only warning, any more of the same and you will be given a time out, without further notice!

fair enough Chris, I'll lay off him.  But he does the exact to me any many other members.

Banning Moby never works as another mod indicated he'll just create more account from elsewhere to bypass the ip ban.

[AvHdB]

Guile, I am and I'm sure most of the membership are getting fed up with your incessant stalking and insulting of Moby, he might have his faults, but don't we all, but there is no need to make him the subject of every post you make, you are basically value negative here.

This is your one and only warning, any more of the same and you will be given a time out, without further notice!

fair enough Chris, I'll lay off him.  But he does the exact to me any many other members.

Banning Moby never works as another mod indicated he'll just create more account from elsewhere to bypass the ip ban.

Chris good call.

Guile, True enough, but you do not need to throw gas on this fire. I suspect you are smarter than this behavior.

[dcguyusa]

I think most guys who experience "the feeling" know when it's THE girl. You both know it within the first few minutes and there is an immediate connection. I for one felt the same back in 2000 and we're still married.

Are you the same person who posted that you have two mistresses in another thread?  Does she feel OK about this arrangement?  I recently saw an over 40 year old movie from the UK about a bloke who was married and then arranged to spend some "time" with a fellow lady who was recently widowed so that she would not be in want for male companionship.  Someone notified his wife about his flagrante delicto  and she went to discuss the matter with her neighbor.  She decided not to divorce the bloke and instead invited her neighbor to move in with the couple.  The bloke was shocked at the arrangement, but gladly accepted it.  So he had a wife and mistress which shocked his mother in law who tried to get her daughter to divorce her husband. The wife was infertile, but the mistress was not and she got pregnant with twins and gave one of them to the wife to raise.  So it all ended happily ever after.   

[Guile]

I don't know about the rest of you but I will have been married 19 years next March. I also have two mistresses here in Yoshkar-Ola as the regional (Mari-El Respublika) ratio of women to men teeters around 6 to 1. I am in paradise!

yeah he did post that he had 2 mistresses... so he probably gets THAT feeling alot when he sees THE girl.

Could be another feeling that's getting a rise, if you know what I mean.

Russian women are known to put up with mistresses if the guy is rich...

[Contrarian]

I don't know about the rest of you but I will have been married 19 years next March. I also have two mistresses here in Yoshkar-Ola as the regional (Mari-El Respublika) ratio of women to men teeters around 6 to 1. I am in paradise!

yeah he did post that he had 2 mistresses... so he probably gets THAT feeling alot when he sees THE girl.

Could be another feeling that's getting a rise, if you know what I mean.

Russian women are known to put up with mistresses if the guy is rich...

Yoshkar-Ola sounds like the place to be! 

[Guile]

that 6-1 ratio sounds a bit too high unless he is in a farm land area and all the men have left to the cities for work.  I got friends in that region and there are alot of ethnics there, Mari and Tatar.  They are Russian in mentality but also have their own culture.

[Bruce Lee]

I’m another one who met my now wife in a third party location, for various reasons we met in Istanbul, then approx 6/8 weeks each time after that.

There are those who will always advocate meeting in the lady’s home town, which is fine however we have come across guys here who would have cocked it up wherever they met so it matters not.

Personally, early communication is key and any folks who have the basic one-to-one skills should be able to work out if there is common vibe, yet we’ve had guys visiting on the strength of initial conversation that wouldn’t have had me getting out of bed to walk to the end of the street to meet the women let alone going to the other side of the world.