Back to The Ukraine

[AvHdB]

Saturday 10.XII.12 Kiev

So at 11 am there was Natalia in front of the Pinchuk. Only problem the Pinchuk opens at 12:00 (and is closed on Monday) After clearing security control & surrendering camera, we walked about. I study and advise on contemporary art so this can qualify as work. The exhibition showed 20 Ukraine artists short listed for a prize. Some of the work was weak and it is reassuring that not all the bad contemporary art hangs in Manhattan. Other works were challenging and interesting.

On the top floor was a selection from the Pinchuk’s own collection. The American Chuck Close had two interesting canvases. There was an amazing Damien Hirst painting about three meters high and 15 meters long depicting skulls with the spatter technique of Hirst ;it was haunting. There was also a Banksy of Stalin or Lenin on roller blades. Banksy is perhaps one of the most compelling artists today, he is understandable and accessible. For myself I am uncomfortable with artists who need pages of bull shit or nonsense to explain what they are creating or doing.

Oddly it was this work that was protected with glass in front of it. For what it is worth the view from Pinchuk and the food on the top floor is great, even if you do not like the art.

Natalia, who had already seen this exhibition was quiet and often just talked with Igor I was not sure what to make of her. We walked the entire distance from the Pinchuk to the Ukraine museum.

The Ukraine museum is located just beyond the Independence Square on the road up the hill. Unfortunately I was stubborn and marched up the wrong hill, both Igor and Natalia followed and I had to eat crow when I realized my mistake, at least when we got to the correct street it was a walk down. This was though interesting in that Natalia neither made a scene or complained before or after.

This collection is much more hit and miss, toppers with the mediocre. When I was there before a part of the museum was closed, I had hoped to see the work of Pinsel but in fact there was nothing but sculpture work from Rivne and Ternpol. Still powerful and amazing.

Not sure why this far corner of Europe, removed from other art centers became so stunning and wonderful.

We went to the cafe in the passage and here I asked Natalia point blank if she saw a future between us. We both admitted we did not at all understand the other but I found her as a person interesting and intelligent. We agreed to meet again and she said she would work on improving her English.

At this point we parted at the Metro and at 6 pm I went to a meeting with Viktoria. Very attractive in a mousy way her English was rather good at the age of 23 she was in the pen pal group, but in the future she will become a partner to some one lucky. Igor stayed a short while and than departed. At one point I sensed she wanted more but I do not see a future between us. We talked for another two hours and agreed to stay in contact. She liked to practice her English, I tried to explained nuances of the English language to her.

I returned to the apartment where Igor was battling a virus on his computer. I had contacted Inna and we agreed to meet at around 9 pm. We walked and talked I genuinely liked her and having met her son am confident that she is both a good woman as well as determined. I admitted that I liked her the most from the women that I met and told her that I would come back to spend time with her only.

She seemed content but also reserved. We ended up in an Italian restaurant and had cheese that even a mouse would think twice about nibbling and some Prosecco. She ate it all and drank the mini bubbles.

[Vinnvinny]

Natalia the last met us at Ciro's Pommodore near the same café and while initially seated in the bar the head waitress recognized me and we were moved to a prime table. We hardly spoke to each other as we sorted out dinner.

Ciro's is one of my favourite restaurants in Kiev.

Not so sure I would take a lady there on a first date though as I would prefer to save it for someone I know I have real interest in.

[AvHdB]

Sunday 11.XII.12,

what the hell am I paying you for?

Sunday was a down day I told Igor that this Ukraine style speed dating was tiring.

It must be true I awoke at 6 am normal for me even though I went to bed at midnight, after another march of an hour to Inna’s. But I decided to sleep a bit more. Anyways I rolled out of bed at 12:30 and called Inna we agreed to meet at Schevenko Park and see a museum. In the meantime I received a text from Christiaan he was also in Kiev now. For some reason he needed to see windmills so off he went to look at windmills just outside Kiev. Wow that must have been fun in the cold!

By about 2:30 we were having a late lunch and than we set out to the East West museum. This is a very good collection and top Velázquez a very fine Rembrandt and H. Bosch along with some stunning Chinese porcelain. Normally a museum has just the babushka’s “guarding” the collection, here it is a bit more serious with fully armed government security forces wandering about. Anyways from there we looked at going to the Pinchuk but the line was way over an hour.

Inna asked if I would like to meet her best friend who was also in Kiev. Sure I said, Alisa (Alice) is a dancer and has been to America to study. She is taller than Inna and seemed pleased to meet me. We talked and she was normal as well as laid back. I used the bathroom and Inna seemed even happier to see me when I returned. Girl talk!

We walked back towards Ciro’s and Inna who had a rather thin jacket was shivering. I took off my jacket and she asked what are you doing? I draped it around her and she had a long warm winter cloak. She seemed grateful. It was a few degrees above freezing so it was for me not a problem.

I asked Inna did she not have a warm winter jacket, her reply was interesting that she had not found one she liked.

We arrived slightly before 7 and were seated at a corner table. Shortly afterwards Igor and Christian with his version of Inna joined us. It was basically Inna in stereo, Inna the tall at 154 cms. and Inna the taller at perhaps180 cms. at the table.

Christiaan and I spoke in Dutch and the women wondered what we said. But during this time Inna spoke extensively to Igor, which is what I wanted. The Inna’ spoke but never seemed to become close. Latter Julia dragged her self in. The night before she had a birthday party for her best friend Lena and too much Champagne was consumed. She looked a bit ragged for the bubbles.

A very tired Christiaan and Inna excused themselves they had no sleep for over 24 hours and needed down time. Yuliya left after a glass of wine and pasta. We talked on and had a cheese platter as well as rose Presseco. The evening ended and I asked Inna if she would be interested in a taxi. She agreed ~ Praise the Lord.

While she is working tomorrow we decided to meet up after work. With the parting hug and kiss there was a certain yearning and passion from Inna.

Afterwards back in the apartment talking with Igor we recapped our meetings; it is a short list of five women; 3 from Zhitomer and 2 from Kiev. I wondered if there was a good match or just an average one. Igor wondered if I had found the right woman for me.

Igor shared his insight into Inna and also his views on the different women we had met. He confirmed certain feelings and raised other questions. This is why you have a so-called wingman.

[christianv]

It was good meeting you! And great restaurant!! Im sorry Inna and i were probably not that much of a good company since we both didnt sleep for over 30 hours!!!! (and as you know i was walking cold parks sightseeing WINDMILLS all day..).

Enjoyed our conversation and you were in great company imho with SmallInna and Igor!

Hope to see you back soon!

ps. i was heading to a park (dragged along by my girl and her friends and family) during the day and had a phonecall with AvHdB.. he immediately knew what park i was going to..(this guy knows Kiev!).

He described it as a huge area with "many many windmills".
I thought "great... its frigging cold and this is just what i needed.. a park with windmills..!".

I forgot about the windmills but when i arrived at the park, i never saw so many windmills.. these things will haunt me in my darkest dreams for many years to come.

[AvHdB]

Natalia the last met us at Ciro's Pommodore near the same café and while initially seated in the bar the head waitress recognized me and we were moved to a prime table. We hardly spoke to each other as we sorted out dinner.

Ciro's is one of my favourite restaurants in Kiev.

Not so sure I would take a lady there on a first date though as I would prefer to save it for someone I know I have real interest in.

It should be noted that Ciro's has the cutest waitresses on either side of the Dneiper.

[AvHdB]

Monday 12.XII

When all else fails, blame men from outer space.

Today was the last day in Kiev, Igor and I tried to reach of few more women without much success. Finally we reached Alisa or Alice. She agreed to meet us at four till her very important English class at six pm

We meet outside the McDonalds and agreed to go to Ukrainian place on Schevenko Park. The food was OK and we talked to just over 6 pm. It was interesting talking to her; she listened and occasionally asked for clarification. Her spoken English was only fair. She had though traveled across a fair bit of Europe and was planning a vacation to Indonesia and Malaysia.

We returned to the apartment, which I started to dislike, and it was latter than I hopped, we called Inna and agreed to meet at Ciro’s. Inna arrived and we talked Igor arrived and we parted company. Ciro’as has on some nights live music and the style tonight was a sort of Lounge – Jazz. It was in fact quite good. They played a wide range from Cole Porter, to Sting. What was odd they had never heard of Everything but the Girl or the Style Council.

Inna and I finally ended up in the apartment and we talked as well as were more intimate. She wanted to see me again so I will return in January to be with her.

I guess this dissertation will continue . . .

For now I get ready for skiing and look at what my options and possibilities are with regards to women.

[AvHdB]

As I head to Austria, I continue to write to a number of the women that I met, I find myself wondering if they are the right cup of tea for me.

What is odd with two women that there seemed to be a connection have said that they did not wish to have further contact with me. Oddly enough I am back in contact with Anna the red head and we have agreed to meet on my next trip to Ukraine.

If I look back on using Igor and not writing or having extenseive Skype or phone contact before hand I think it is for me not a bad way to go.

AvHdB

[Donhollio]

AvHdB


 I just got around to reading this and wanted to pass on that I enjoyed the report.     

Good luck in future trips. 

[AvHdB]

This morning the 12th I flew back to Kiev as a follow up from my December trip. While initially I was going to visit more than one woman I have decided on spending time with Miss Cappuccino (Inna) only. She returned to Kiev from Lugansk and we will get together with her son for dinner, shortly. I have a nice two-bedroom apartment and while she has to work tomorrow the plan is to spend time together and see how we feel about each other.

Yes I have misgivings on a number of issues. Our age difference is large 20 + years. Is she interested in things that interest me? I am uncertain what she sees in me. . . well for that matter . . .

On the other side she is a wonderful mother to her son. She seems passionate and compassionate. She is determined and intelligent. Bear in mind she decided that she wanted to do more than be a kindergarten teacher and learned English over the period of less than six months.

So I will go with the flow and see what happens. If you wish you can read my drivel or Nadsat depending on perspective.

[AvHdB]

So Miss Cappuccino and I agreed to met at the TGI Fridays, which is in front of my apartment. I was early and brought a Dutch newspaper and some crayons for her son.

True to form she had a cup of Cappuccino on arrival and I decided to have a mudslide, I forgot how moreish these are! Her son seem pleased with the crayons but soon was back to playing games of Inna's 4G. We talked and it was harmless non-directional banter. We seemed to avoid eye contact and were unfocused.

I told her that I had not seen the Christmas lights and we left and walked the entire length of Krashadik. The stands for Goldilocks seems to have grown. The light shows were certainly impressive compared to the threadbare displays of Amsterdam. Also the lights have been more or less removed already in Amsterdam. Here it seems they keep the lights up for a while longer.

But as we walked I sensed a certain distance and in fact it seemed we were both confused and uncertain as to what we wanted to do. I often found myself wondering what was she thinking and what does she want. Eventually I told her that if she wanted to go back to her place this would be disappointing but I would understand. We came to the entrance of the courtyard and holding hands we went to the front door.

Well we all went in and up and in the apartment she was amazed by the room and set up. In fact except the choice of a very cold blue walls it is a very nicely set up apartment close to the center but on a quiet courtyard. Miss Cappuccino had asked me to bring some products from Clinique and when asking she said that she would send me via Western Union the funds ~ I told her that was necessary. She was extremely pleased because I got her exactly what she wanted. When she told me what the products would cost in Kiev I nearly fell backwards. The black market for this stuff most be vibrant. 

In any event I gave her son some small Corgi cars of Ferrari's and he was happy racing them on the floor. By 10 pm Miss Cappuccino had her son in bed playing games on her foon. We talked and cuddled as we watched different video's we talked about favourite actrices, hers being Charlie Therzon and mine being Juliette Binoche as well as Andie McDowell. I let slip that I had a bottle of champagne, which we consumed as we watched Ukraine X factor.

At some point I turned the cuddles into kisses that were filled with yearning and desire.

[AvHdB]

We ended in an horizontal state on my bed.

At a certain point she indicated that she needed and wanted to sleep next to her son, which I reluctantly agreed to. We both needed showers and afterwards a surprising moment occurred. I asked her from sitting on her bed wrapped in a towel to cover her eyes and give me her hand. With her free hand I lead her out the room with the other hand tracing the wall and along the door to the front door where I turned the lock over twice holding her hand.

She was almost in tears, her lips quivering.

I explained than she would know the route out of the room in an emergency - she explained that she thought I was throwing her out of the apartment. I explained my reasoning and she mustered a half smile and hugged me.

In the morning I snuggled next to her and gave her small tickles, kisses and caresses. Her alarm when off and she began to awake her son. They got dressed and we walked holding hands to the metro, she was about an half hour late for work son in tow.

But looking back I can see that my safety precaution could be seen for something entirely different. 

[christianv]

"With her free hand I lead her out the room with the other hand tracing the wall and along the door to the front door where I turned the lock over twice holding her hand."

Now this is something i will start implementing in the future  Good stuff!!!

[NS1]

The day started slow, but seems things are headed in the right direction, good luck

[rosco]

"With her free hand I lead her out the room with the other hand tracing the wall and along the door to the front door where I turned the lock over twice holding her hand."

Now this is something i will start implementing in the future  Good stuff!!!

Safety precaution my ass AvHdB, your tooting her horn and keeping her on her toes - bet she loved it!!

[AvHdB]

"With her free hand I lead her out the room with the other hand tracing the wall and along the door to the front door where I turned the lock over twice holding her hand."

Now this is something i will start implementing in the future  Good stuff!!!

Safety precaution my ass AvHdB, your tooting her horn and keeping her on her toes - bet she loved it!!

The motives of a man are not unlike the whims of a woman.

[AvHdB]

Friday the 13th of January

OK today is/was also the start of the New Year on the old Georgian calender.

I  awoke and with a tickle and caress got in bed next to Miss Cappucinno. She was groggy but managed to smile. She looked at the time on her foon and groaned. She attempted to get Dannik to awake with no success.

Anyways I put on my jeans and cut some Dutch breakfast bread and cheese. Eventually she was moving and needed to get to work. I made a foto of her and she was not happy with this. We walked to the metro and agreed to meet at night for dinner.

In the afternoon I went to get some shopping for breakfast. Here I was confused between the different types of milk and a man helped in perfect English, he also explained that eggs that were farm fresh were better and the same price as those near the dairy section. It turned out his wife and family lived in Chicago and his parents lived in Kiev, he was seeing them for the holidays.

Outside I met him again and we spoke further. It turns out he is an antique coin dealer in Russian and Ukraine coins in Chicago. We started talking about the market and he was surprised that I knew the different markets and auction houses. I explained my area of knowledge and he invited me to the market that opens at 6 am on Saturday but it runs all day.

Miss Cappuccino arrived around 8:30 at night and discovered that the restaurants were busy, OK it is Friday and a holiday. We ended up in the beer place at the Arena, nothing special and I found the price to quality expensive. There we talked about further things and how we each saw the future for us. It was general and in a way noncommittal.

By 10:30 we were back at the apartment Dannik played for 15 or so minutes was in bed, he was tired. I made a Hollywood Hot for us and almost directly Miss C was asleep on my lap. Caressing her I wondered about the future for us.

I got her into one of my T-shirts and next to her son and than turned in myself sleeping alone poorly.

[AvHdB]

I awoke early around 6 am, a bit of RUA chit/chat & look at some auction sites.

Began to get breakfast ready, scrambled eggs, home fries with Old Bay and bacon.  Eventually I woke up Inna with a kiss and a hug. She opens her eyes and says good morning. I slip under the sheets and I hug while her son begins to come out of his sleep.

Eventually she arises and I show her what I have done in the kitchen, the home fries are delicious as is the bacon. I do last the scrambled eggs and she says delicious but indicates she rarely eats such a large breakfast. She is impressed though.

We get dressed and Danik does not eat anything, Inna rolls her eyes but decided the battle is not worth it, I agree. After cleaning the kitchen we head first for a morning dose of Cappuccino. Here Inna had a foon call ~ it was clear it did not go well.

From the coffee place we called a taxi to bring us the antique market, I was very curious. Crossing the Dnieper onto the left bank (the new side) we drove a bit to a fairly new expo center. While I could not do anything about it we were rather late and after paying the 20 Hryvnia entrance fee we walked around already some of the dealers were packing up. In fact often in the States those who have a space are frequently called pickers.

These sorts of flea markets are most likely around the world I have been to one near London and in the States there is Brimfield and Atlantic City. It still amazes me to see what people will flog and try to sell as collectable. Some was the generic old pots and pans as well traditional clothing and just stuff.

There was a very large presence of dealers with coins and medals. Some appeared early 19th century but the majority were of the Soviet era. One dealer had some reasonable Ikons and a few late 19th century maps. I explained how the markets worked and the nature of the dealers to Inna. She in fact seemed disinterested.

To me the most interesting thing here are the diverse and varied Soviet era porcelain figures. A few of the dealers were eager to share their knowledge others as I looked at items continued to pack them up. So that everyone understands in UK there was Royal Doulton and Derby, in Holland there is Delft but these pieces tend to more oriented to plates and vases. Perhaps most famous is the Danish, Royal Copenhagen who made a very stylized range of figures and animals in the post war period. These figurines bric a brac if you will are over the entire world.

During this time Inna was on the foon and only marginally interested in anything. I found a book albeit in Cyrillic that catalogues the marks and signatures and purchased that to study latter.

In any event I found a group of five figures where the dealer wanted in totaal 2,400 Hryvnia I offered 1,800, the dealer refused. I called Slava the coin dealer and asked if he could come over. He spoke with the dealer and offered 2,000 Hryvnia but again the picker who only had his items on the floor refused to negotiate. It is odd you see dealers like this around the world. I still have my money ~ I guess he still has his porcelain figures.

Walking away I understood Slava said to Inna what an idiot regarding the dealer. I had the feeling that he liked Inna as a person.

We eventually left and decided to go to the SkyMall where Dannik could play. Inna was visible unhappy, I knew her mother would arrive tomorrow after I left ~ there was some problem.  What for me was unknown. I thought about delaying my flight and asked Inna if she liked this idea. She was non-committal. I asked if her parents knew of me and she said yes, but she stressed her future was her concern only.

Here in the SkyMall it was interesting yes there were certainly beautiful women but in fact this could be a mall in the States, people were dragging bored and cranky kids, spending money trying to be happy. Young girls were in groups giggling and with too much make up on. People often were very average looking, tired run down and just trudging.

What the problem was with Inna I could not tell ~ I tried to find out but Inna said everything was OK. After about an hour I thought enough and more or less decided that if I could not understand her and she would not share the problems, so be it, this would be our only time together.

[bagalia]

Do you look for Soviet medals and if so are they still found on the streets for good prices or is that pretty much a thing of the past? Many years ago I knew a man who did this for income, smuggled them out basically.

Scott

[AvHdB]

Do you look for Soviet medals and if so are they still found on the streets for good prices or is that pretty much a thing of the past? Many years ago I knew a man who did this for income, smuggled them out basically.

Scott

The Soviet era medals do not interest me, I did not earn them. Also I suspect that you do not have to smuggle them. As for Ikons and art that is another issue.

It is only that Soviet era pottery some of it porcelain often based on Meissen prototypes that is interesting to me.

[AvHdB]

We retunred to the apartment and I worked on my laptop. I wondered about things and looked in on Miss Cappuccino as she and her son watch TV. I told her I had no enthusiasm to cook together and we agreed to eat out.

Moments latter she went off to the bathroom and I heard her take a shower. She came to me wrapped and smiled, she told me she was not feeling well, for the first time she needed to use Google translator to explain she was nauseous. But felt much better for having the shower. Also all the calls were with her landlord. It seemed that he expected he could use the room of Inna this coming Sunday. But her mother was coming and she was distraught about what to do.

We talked in a meandering fashion and I asked her about what her goals and dreams were/are. It seemed to me very material a home with children, a big car and dog, an interesting job. One thing she did not understand was how to build a future together, I live it seems so far away.

We ate dinner at Ciro’s with wine and three courses using the discount card the totaal bill was 560 Hryvnia. Back in the apartment Dannik at 10:30 was in bed and we talked in general terms further.

She has learned as many women in her situation to depend on her self. She alone was responsible for raising Dannik and creating her own success. But she yearned to be treated as a Princess by a man.

At some point we spoke of LovePlanet and she told me while many men are still contacting her the most interesting was a man from Turkey who for the last twenty years has lived in Moscow. She indicated but did not say so in many words that they had never met but he bought for her among other things her computer and foon. I did learn there was no possibility of a relationship between them.

I had bought a bottle of champagne and we drank as we watched Die Hard over dubbed in Russian – boring in my book, and the champagne only lasted to when the hostages end up on the roof. The film ends and we get ready for bed I ask Inna to sleep with me but she says she needs to be next to Dannik. I realized I would like to be treated like a king and you are not a princess.

At 4:30 I awake and I leave enough money on the bedside table in her room to rent the apartment for one more night. I caress her cheek and leave. She is still wearing my favourite T-Shirt. Downstairs I meet with the taxi driver and ask about renting the apartment for one more night not a problem he says. As well as ferrying Inna and Dannik to train station and back. This cost an extra 100 Hryvnia seems fair for about an hours worth of work.

There is light snow and it is cold minus –3 degrees at departure. Have a coffee and scotch and board the bus for the plane. Find my seat and also getting on late is the guy in the seat across from me. Plane gets deiced the snow is off the wings but there is a coating of ice on the windows (I assume the entire fuselage) some were rather upset with the ice over the windows, I suspect they wanted a refund.

Sitting next to a Canadian coming back from visiting his wife in Poltava, they are waiting for her visa so she can join him in Calgary. I commented to him I have had Ukrainian girl friends, “they are wonderful but a bit crazy”. He sighed, “Yes true, mine is the most crazy though.” I wondered how long it took him to have ‘success’.

[NS1]

Av,  good story, thank you!

[Millaa]

The Soviet era medals do not interest me, I did not earn them. Also I suspect that you do not have to smuggle them.

thanks for that 

[AvHdB]

A realization after this trip; if this was easy everyone would be doing it.

Miss Cappuccino is a wonderful woman, beautiful, clever and smart. Dedicated to making her life and that of her son better. She has accomplished allot with her wits and through her perseverance. We spent I think a good time together. But since than I have not heard further from her, even.
Thanks > nope
When will I see you again > nope
You were . ? . ? . ? . > nope
Go away > nope
Is she ChristiaanV “flaky?” No in my opinion, but the reality of relationship with a man from a different culture is foreign to her. I think for a woman like this it involves a leap of faith that she is reluctant to make (perhaps only with me).

Yes I believe she realizes she needs a man, but because she has only her self to depend on she has learned to trust only herself. This translates into the reality that a man has to be with her 24/7 for a true relationship to develop or perhaps one has to throw so much money at her that in fact you end up with a sponsorship type arrangement.

[AvHdB]

As I ponder what to do, I had the following exchange with Igor.

Igor/Stirlitz      12:08 PM
In this business there is a danger that you get carried away and just cannot stop. I have seen many men doing this, both from the West and locals. They can never find someone right just because they are concentrated on searching. It is like war: you can be a good fighter but when the war is over many soldiers have trouble adjusting to peace and go elsewhere to fight. Whereas initially they were fighting to bring peace.
Igor/Stirlitz      12:09 PM
The problem is there is no right perfect woman and you will have to put up with someone who is not exactly right for you sooner or later.
Igor/Stirlitz      12:10 PM
How long have you been searching?
AvHdB             12:11 PM
It has not been searching but bumbling - Last year Lenna who was very close to perfect - before Masha, before that Luiza
Igor/Stirlitz       12:12 PM
The technique is to find the woman who is the best for you and then you polish her to  perfection. For example, Inna unlearned to trust a man — you can teach her back.
AvHdB             12:12 PM
perhaps true
Igor/Stirlitz       12:13 PM
The brat mother I think was no option — move on. Inna is nice — see more.

Thinking about everything and the status in fact this is a bit of the "candy shop" issue and mixed in the "dirty barrel." Yes I think the brat mother would be pulled out of the "dirty barrel".

I wonder was I out of my league with Masha or Lena?

Part of me is tired of the search.

In hindsight I did not know enough with Luiza. Anyways excuse these musings this travel report is for me more a diary, but written so that others can slap me about (a bit) and to keep it honest and clean.

[NS1]

Funny you say that, I am somewhat of the same thoughts and mind, I date here and look there, seems at times it would make you wonder