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Author Topic: Not all endings are happy  (Read 7567 times)

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Offline Muzh_1

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #30 on: November 04, 2011, 08:08:24 AM »
My own editorial comment.....
I hope he has learned his lesson about pre-nups :)
Can you believe he is back in Ukraine for more of the same?
I hope he finds an honest one this time:)
My friend Bob is very wealthy and does not seem to want to get married.  To each his own!

Doug, not trying to flame here, just scratching my head.

What would a prenup accomplish in this specific situation?

Did she take money and property from him during the divorce?

How can a prenup protect your friend once he paid for medical school?

Between you and me, I'd go after her earnings once she starts working as a doctor. As far as I'm concern, he is entitled to half of her earnings.

Offline Muzh_1

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #31 on: November 04, 2011, 08:14:11 AM »
The sad fact is that many WM marry FSU women who they really don't understand and don't know much about. There are many women here (I'm in Kiev now) of questionable character and values. Heck, just the amount of prostitutes in normal (not sex oriented) dance night clubs is ridiculous. I've never seen such concentration of them anywhere else in the FSU.


I guess there is no prostitution in Russia at all. With a population 3 times higher than Ukraine and there are more prostitutes in UA just shows you the amazingly virtuous and chaste character of the women in Russia.

Right?

Offline Muzh_1

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #32 on: November 04, 2011, 08:15:58 AM »
Just remember: when a beautiful woman tells you everything you want to hear, pushes all the right buttons and acts like a little angel by day then like a devil in bed at night, it does not make her an honest woman!


Ahem, one more.

Are you accusing my wife of being dishonest with me?

Seriously.  >:(


Offline Halo

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #33 on: November 04, 2011, 08:20:16 AM »
I read that a bit differently, Muzh.  It wasn't that all women are dishonest, just that just because she knows how to manipulate you (a general "you"), it doesn't mean she is honest.

I concur with Ed on being able to tell a lot with fluency, particularly education levels. 

Offline Muzh_1

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #34 on: November 04, 2011, 08:25:41 AM »
I read that a bit differently, Muzh.  It wasn't that all women are dishonest, just that just because she knows how to manipulate you (a general "you"), it doesn't mean she is honest.

I concur with Ed on being able to tell a lot with fluency, particularly education levels.

I guess there are ways of saying things. Specially after the largest concentration of prostitutes in the former Soyuz can be found in Kiev. Virtually any girl going out at night is one. On top of that, she is nice with the general you during the day and god forbid you go out at night with her and have a good time. You'll need a ton of cash to pay for her services.

Offline Boris

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #35 on: November 04, 2011, 08:40:43 AM »
I read that a bit differently, Muzh.  It wasn't that all women are dishonest, just that just because she knows how to manipulate you (a general "you"), it doesn't mean she is honest.

I concur with Ed on being able to tell a lot with fluency, particularly education levels.

If I were starting over again I would not even consider a woman from the FSU who didn't have a University degree. Based on my experience it cuts out on a lot of the materialistic nonsense. I could see a big difference in the women I dated there based on level of education...

Offline Halo

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #36 on: November 04, 2011, 08:51:16 AM »
My experience was different.  Education is overinflated there, vs a vs the West, at least, in comparison to where I live.

Going back to the guy's divorce settlement, it sounded as if this was closed, unless he can appeal.  I'd suggest, if he is within the statute of limitations, that he sue her for fraud - recoup the cost of her education and the son's student loans, at least.  Hire a PI to find her and serve her.

In any event, one can see the same dynamic in Western marriages. 

Offline Eduard

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #37 on: November 04, 2011, 09:00:23 AM »
Just in case anyone reading this thinks i have something against the local girls, i absolutely don't.  I have a few who are friends, and as Ed says they would tell you exactly the same about these girls.  For many of them it is enough просто жить в золотой клетке.

Ed i like your posts, they have a warmness and honesty to them and lack the ego of many posters here.  I don't know you at all and have never used your services and never will to be honest.  However, for anybody there who doesn't know the language or culture and wants to visit, if you've got the money i'd recommned this approach, as you'd be saving yourself a hell of a lot of hassle
Thank you for your kind words!  tiphat
I wish more men would understand the reality they are dealing with when looking for an FSU wife. Off course there are many great, honest women in the FSU who have excellent values but you need to be a fluent Russian speaker to separate good from bad in most cases, otherwise it really becomes just a gamble (Muzh, I hope this clarifies matters for you?). Even talking with them on the phone or Skype isn't always enough to be able to tell. Sure, with some women I can tell that they are "bad news" in a matter of just chatting on the phone with them for a few minutes, they can be pretty obvious sometimes. But there are plenty of FSU women who are not so easy to figure out, and It usually takes 2-3 or more days of face to face time with them to truly start understanding what's going on in her head and in her heart.

Offline curiogeo7

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #38 on: November 04, 2011, 09:17:31 AM »
I think this is true all over the world.
 I spent 30 days with my ex swissmiss, another 30 here in US again, and it was great.
 but 60 days in CH, showed me this would not work out well for both of us.
 And I may add in retrospect, how many of the warning signs I missed, my bad.
 Todate only one girl out of Ukraine has been open and honest with me, showing 100% of who she really is right from the start, we are only penpals, and no intent of more.
 Have a friend here, that just went through the same with AW, we all warned him from the start, but hey sometimes that little head rules our world, no excuse, just fact.
 Then there is a old bud, that married a English girl, only to learn that she was a very high priced call girl. this did not end well for both of them.
 Any marrage is a degree of risk, I was married 14 years to AW, and we crashed, as we grew older, with just the life changes, it was amicable, and still remain friends.
You do not make others choices for them, do not let others make choices for you.

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #39 on: November 04, 2011, 10:19:37 AM »
My experience was different.  Education is overinflated there, vs a vs the West, at least, in comparison to where I live.

Going back to the guy's divorce settlement, it sounded as if this was closed, unless he can appeal.  I'd suggest, if he is within the statute of limitations, that he sue her for fraud - recoup the cost of her education and the son's student loans, at least.  Hire a PI to find her and serve her.

In any event, one can see the same dynamic in Western marriages.

It's probably not worth throwing good money after bad trying to recover the loans/investment. Marriage fraud between parties is difficult to prove (Canada or US) -not to be confused with 'sham marriage'- especially since it seems they cohabitated for a number of years.

He cosigned the loan, if the son defaulted buddy's on the hook, period. The son being a student probably has no assets of his own to recoup and trying to recover the son's bad dept from the mother, especially if he was of the age of majority when the loan was granted, wouldn't fly. However, what buddy should be doing is making sure that the son's credit rating is reflecting default on the loan (borrower has defaulted, lender has had to seek repayment from cosigner) and isn't showing him (the son) as repaying the loan.

I would think that a court would already have considered the former husband's financial interest in this (education) if a final decree has been issued. Hopefully, if properly represented, his lawyer already explored/pursued this avenue during the divorce proceedings, no?

Brass
“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind."  ~ John Diefenbaker

P.S....Unless you happen to live in Quebec and are subject to the Quebec Charter Of Values, of course.

Offline Anteros

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #40 on: November 04, 2011, 10:30:24 AM »
Your friend should take her to court and demand alimony based on her income as a doctor. I promise you the court will be extremely sympathetic to him.

I don't know anything about Colorado law, but I can tell you that, in NY, he'd have a property interest in her medical degree.

B/B

If he wishes to recoup monies this should be an angle which his Attorney should pursue.  I would personally not spend to much effort in these directions.  If there could be a quick settlement to assuage his pocket book for her behaviors and fraud okay.  Anything more and he is wasting very precious energy which he should be focusing towards improving himself and improving his odds of finding a better and more suitable partner.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline Anteros

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #41 on: November 04, 2011, 10:39:23 AM »
The sad fact is that many WM marry FSU women who they really don't understand and don't know much about. There are many women here (I'm in Kiev now) of questionable character and values. Heck, just the amount of prostitutes in normal (not sex oriented) dance night clubs is ridiculous. I've never seen such concentration of them anywhere else in the FSU.
When you are not a native speaker you will most likely miss many important clues about a woman. Think about it - if you are American and meet an American woman in any kind of setting. 5 minutes chatting with her and you can usually tell if there is something "off" with her. If she has "street" slang and tendencies, or some kind of "roughness" about her, etc you will spot that. Same thing with me, when I talk to an FSU woman I can have a basic idea about her level of education, what kind of upbringing she had and what sort of life she leads. Not being a native Russian speaker doesn't allow you to make some very important determinations which can later result in tragedy such as this one.

Just remember: when a beautiful woman tells you everything you want to hear, pushes all the right buttons and acts like a little angel by day then like a devil in bed at night, it does not make her an honest woman! Women are way smarter than us, men (especially inexperienced men) when it comes to these games. They can be totally heartless and calculating users though, and men who are looking for FSU women should be aware of that. If you don't believe me, ask any FSU woman. They will be the first ones to tell you that there are many dangerous, ruthless women in the FSU particularly in places where people are economically and politically deprived.

Somebody needs 5 minutes to assess a woman??  It can be done in five seconds or less.  Then again, the true Grifters are masters of their craft.  It takes much longer to ascertain them.  Yet the signals and red signs are there.  Who are her friends and family?  Have you performed you due diligence?  Only fools love with only their hearts and their emotions.  Clever men know that marriage is not even remotely only about "good" feelings.  It is really about true and loyal friendship.  Many men only find this kind of loyalty under the duress of mountain climbing with guides and partners, or other such endeavors.  Go camping with a woman for 5 days without a cell phone and without normal comforts of Civilization.  If she can't hack that, she is simply no where near marriage material.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.

Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #42 on: November 04, 2011, 11:01:34 AM »
Muzh_1,
I don't know the answers to your quesitons.  The pre-nup issue depends on the state and I am not familiar with Colorado law.

Since the divorce trial/settlement was a year ago, I doubt he has any intention to pursue this further.
According to my friend he was terribly depressed so he may not have been in the mood to have been in attack mode during the proceedings, who knows.  I can relate to the severe depression as I experienced it in my first and only nasty divorce.  In my case it was not only the financial loss (500K), but fighting for joint custody of my only child.  It can really mess up your head when you are in this state.  It is like the world is closing in on you and you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel or have any options.  The corrupt judges and less than competent attorneys do not help the situation either.

The only reason I made the post and shared the info was because of those that argue that you should not get a pre-nup because you are in love, etc. etc.  Whether it would have helped in this case is unknown and he apparently wants to forget about the ordeal and move on.  I can relate to that feeling as well.

Doug (Calmissile)

Online B.B.

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #43 on: November 04, 2011, 12:39:37 PM »
Just remember: when a beautiful woman tells you everything you want to hear, pushes all the right buttons and acts like a little angel by day then like a devil in bed at night, it does not make her an honest woman! Women are way smarter than us, men (especially inexperienced men) when it comes to these games. They can be totally heartless and calculating users though, and men who are looking for FSU women should be aware of that. If you don't believe me, ask any FSU woman. They will be the first ones to tell you that there are many dangerous, ruthless women in the FSU particularly in places where people are economically and politically deprived.

The cynic in me agrees with this.  :chuckle:  Happily, other women can spot this stuff a mile away also, so before I get hitched (if/when) I will have no problem having the future missus vetted by some female friends of mine--including a couple of native speakers....one of whom told me, point blank, "Listen, I don't care what you think you want, I am *NOT* going to let you marry some b*tch!"  So I have that and "total enlightenment on my deathbed" going for me.  :chuckle:

B/B
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Online B.B.

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #44 on: November 04, 2011, 12:43:55 PM »
You would have thought the judge would have ruled on that during the final settlement. But he did say they totally skipped out and he has no idea where they are now. And her son left him saddled with two student loans that he co-signed for and will be making payments on for years.

Hmm.  That's weird.  Maybe it's a Colorado thing.  Anyway, if she's working as a doctor, it won't be difficult to find her, and he probably has her SSN anyway.  Should take a decent PI about 10 minutes.

B/B
Saving the World, One Clue at a Time
If your religion insults my intelligence, don't be surprised when my intelligence insults your religion.


 

 

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