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Author Topic: Not all endings are happy  (Read 8249 times)

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Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #15 on: November 01, 2011, 10:03:22 AM »
RAsputin, I don't know the details yet and I am not sure he wants to talk about it but I assume the $500K included the education and living expenses.  As I recall the university was in a different town or state.

Of course we don't know both sides of the story (Duh).  But to have made that kind of commitment and put someone through college and then be served for divorce at the graduation is awfully fishy :)

Your right about a pre-nup not reimbursing him for the eductaion expenses.  I was more interested in whether she also was able to milk him for any of his pre-marital assets. Considering that she allowed him to pay for her education before divorcing him, she may also be greedy enough to go after all she can get!

Hopefully I will be able to find out more details in the near future.  My main reason for making the post was to show that no matter how much in love you are,  there can still be sinister intentions well after the wedding bells:)

Eduard,  glad to see you are back with another success story.  Someday we need to have a beer together.

I should also mention that Ladagirl has been very active in helping us and the two of you are a great service to the members.

Your friend should take her to court and demand alimony based on her income as a doctor. I promise you the court will be extremely sympathetic to him.
I was just gonna say the same thing. From what I heard it goes both ways for men and women. As far as I know he CAN sue her for alimony based on her income earned as a doctor. She probably doesn't know that yet, so it will be a nice surprize for her :))

Be careful here fellas. Note the OP used the plural in businesses and ranches. Depending on whether or not Doug can get more details, $500,000 may not have been such a bad hit. :chuckle:

Brass
“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind."  ~ John Diefenbaker

P.S....Unless you happen to live in Quebec and are subject to the Quebec Charter Of Values, of course.

Offline Muzh_1

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #16 on: November 01, 2011, 11:15:19 AM »
RAsputin, I don't know the details yet and I am not sure he wants to talk about it but I assume the $500K included the education and living expenses.  As I recall the university was in a different town or state.

Of course we don't know both sides of the story (Duh).  But to have made that kind of commitment and put someone through college and then be served for divorce at the graduation is awfully fishy :)

Your right about a pre-nup not reimbursing him for the eductaion expenses.  I was more interested in whether she also was able to milk him for any of his pre-marital assets. Considering that she allowed him to pay for her education before divorcing him, she may also be greedy enough to go after all she can get!

Hopefully I will be able to find out more details in the near future.  My main reason for making the post was to show that no matter how much in love you are,  there can still be sinister intentions well after the wedding bells:)

Eduard,  glad to see you are back with another success story.  Someday we need to have a beer together.

I should also mention that Ladagirl has been very active in helping us and the two of you are a great service to the members.

Your friend should take her to court and demand alimony based on her income as a doctor. I promise you the court will be extremely sympathetic to him.
I was just gonna say the same thing. From what I heard it goes both ways for men and women. As far as I know he CAN sue her for alimony based on her income earned as a doctor. She probably doesn't know that yet, so it will be a nice surprize for her :))

Be careful here fellas. Note the OP used the plural in businesses and ranches. Depending on whether or not Doug can get more details, $500,000 may not have been such a bad hit. :chuckle:

Brass

Not so fast.

Business and ranches prior to them marrying seems to me a non-issue. However, paying the whole enchilada of medschool while being married is a very different story.

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2011, 11:42:07 AM »
Not so fast.

Business and ranches prior to them marrying seems to me a non-issue. However, paying the whole enchilada of medschool while being married is a very different story.

Rereading the OP again, I'm not sure if it's the friend who owns the ranches that this happened to or a friend of the rancher making it a friend of a friend...

Anyways, the courts will not be prejudicial in alimony rulings. In otherwords, if he's financially secure, the court won't award just so he gets his money back.

Brass

 
“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind."  ~ John Diefenbaker

P.S....Unless you happen to live in Quebec and are subject to the Quebec Charter Of Values, of course.


Offline kievstar

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2011, 11:45:37 AM »
What was the age difference?  Also, what was education level of the man - a woman getting a higher degree and making more can cause issues.

In Houston area seems about every week we know someone new getting a divorce or not happy with AM.  In almost every case you can see a man marrying way out of his league and not having any children together. 

Also, do not assume that paying for college is a down payment on a relationship.  You should only give money you wish to never see again and expect nothing for it.


Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2011, 11:45:50 AM »
The business and ranches are a non issue.  It is my friend in Tuscon/Kiev that has  the businesses and ranches.  It is best friend in Colorado that got burned by the Russian doctor.  Perhaps I did not make it clear enough in the first paragraph.  My friend is returning to Kiev in a couple weeks.  Hopefully he can get the info from his friend in Colorado before he leaves.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2011, 11:52:21 AM »
kievstar,  your quote:
"Also, do not assume that paying for college is a down payment on a relationship.  You should only give money you wish to never see again and expect nothing for it."

Seems like a strange comment to me.  They were already married and living in the US.  I never thought about never seeing money I gave to a wife or the family as never seeing it again.  Just seems out of context for a marriage :)


Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Brasscasing

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2011, 12:14:37 PM »
kievstar,  your quote:
"Also, do not assume that paying for college is a down payment on a relationship.  You should only give money you wish to never see again and expect nothing for it."

Seems like a strange comment to me.  They were already married and living in the US.  I never thought about never seeing money I gave to a wife or the family as never seeing it again.  Just seems out of context for a marriage :)

Thanks for the clarification Doug (friend of a friend).

Seeing money again: Within the context of the marriage maybe, however, I'm not sure if expecting return on investment (sponsoring a spouse's education to a profession) once divorce proceedings are initiated is actionable. Seems to me you pay the money and take your chances the marriage won't fail (just like any other marriage).

Do you know if he adopted the child?

Brass
“I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind."  ~ John Diefenbaker

P.S....Unless you happen to live in Quebec and are subject to the Quebec Charter Of Values, of course.

Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2011, 01:17:19 PM »
I don't know any more details than I have already provided.  Hopefully we can more as time goes on.
I agree, pay your money and take your chances as in any marriage :)
I don't know enough to know if there were warning signs before marriage that were ignored or not.  I think it is a little premature to make the assumption that there were.
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #23 on: November 03, 2011, 10:05:40 PM »

I just got an email back from my friend that answered some of my questions about the divorce with the Russian/American doctor.  I don't want to identify the parties so I have just copied his email and corrected a couple of minor typos.

I find one of the sentences telling.  Along with the bleeding hearts that have argued the pre-nup issue on another thread, she did not want one and used the being in love excuse to get him to marry her without one.  Something to think about!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Doug,

I did talk to him. He said he did not get a pre -nup. He wanted one but she didn't want to go along with it. He was not showing his love for her by asking for such a thing. You know the drift. So he married her anyway and now has big regrets of course.
 
He said the Immigration Dept did their best to tell him to think very long and hard before marrying her because they said from their experience most of the time these Russia- Ukrainian marriages don't work out. Of course he told them that they were in love and was aware of the pitfalls. And he married her anyway. Now he says they were right and he should have listened to them.
 
He said that when you go in for your interview you are going to get the same kind if advice because they tell every man the way it is.
 
Something to think about!
 
I got the impression he did not want to go into the details of the divorce settlement.
 
Bob
 
Doug (Calmissile)

Online B.B.

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #24 on: November 03, 2011, 10:32:49 PM »
Your friend should take her to court and demand alimony based on her income as a doctor. I promise you the court will be extremely sympathetic to him.

I don't know anything about Colorado law, but I can tell you that, in NY, he'd have a property interest in her medical degree.

B/B
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Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #25 on: November 04, 2011, 12:07:53 AM »
I forwarded the quote about his possible interest in her medical degree/future earnings to Bob and here was his reply which I will just paste.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks Doug,
 
I'm going to mention this to him. You would have thought the judge would have ruled on that during the final settlement. But he did say they totally skipped out and he has no idea where they are now. And her son left him saddled with two student loans that he co-signed for and will be making payments on for years.
 
Not long after they had been married she wanted her mother over here so he paid for that whole process too!
 
I never seen a guy so depressed in all my life. But it's been about a year now so he's getting along better and wants to come to Ukraine to hang out with me in a couple of months when he is free.
 
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline calmissile

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #26 on: November 04, 2011, 12:12:13 AM »
My own editorial comment.....
I hope he has learned his lesson about pre-nups :)
Can you believe he is back in Ukraine for more of the same?
I hope he finds an honest one this time:)
My friend Bob is very wealthy and does not seem to want to get married.  To each his own!
Doug (Calmissile)

Offline Eduard

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #27 on: November 04, 2011, 02:39:41 AM »
The sad fact is that many WM marry FSU women who they really don't understand and don't know much about. There are many women here (I'm in Kiev now) of questionable character and values. Heck, just the amount of prostitutes in normal (not sex oriented) dance night clubs is ridiculous. I've never seen such concentration of them anywhere else in the FSU.
When you are not a native speaker you will most likely miss many important clues about a woman. Think about it - if you are American and meet an American woman in any kind of setting. 5 minutes chatting with her and you can usually tell if there is something "off" with her. If she has "street" slang and tendencies, or some kind of "roughness" about her, etc you will spot that. Same thing with me, when I talk to an FSU woman I can have a basic idea about her level of education, what kind of upbringing she had and what sort of life she leads. Not being a native Russian speaker doesn't allow you to make some very important determinations which can later result in tragedy such as this one.

Just remember: when a beautiful woman tells you everything you want to hear, pushes all the right buttons and acts like a little angel by day then like a devil in bed at night, it does not make her an honest woman! Women are way smarter than us, men (especially inexperienced men) when it comes to these games. They can be totally heartless and calculating users though, and men who are looking for FSU women should be aware of that. If you don't believe me, ask any FSU woman. They will be the first ones to tell you that there are many dangerous, ruthless women in the FSU particularly in places where people are economically and politically deprived.

Online krassavchick

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #28 on: November 04, 2011, 04:28:56 AM »
The sad fact is that many WM marry FSU women who they really don't understand and don't know much about. There are many women here (I'm in Kiev now) of questionable character and values. Heck, just the amount of prostitutes in normal (not sex oriented) dance night clubs is ridiculous. I've never seen such concentration of them anywhere else in the FSU.
When you are not a native speaker you will most likely miss many important clues about a woman
. Think about it - if you are American and meet an American woman in any kind of setting. 5 minutes chatting with her and you can usually tell if there is something "off" with her. If she has "street" slang and tendencies, or some kind of "roughness" about her, etc you will spot that. Same thing with me, when I talk to an FSU woman I can have a basic idea about her level of education, what kind of upbringing she had and what sort of life she leads. Not being a native Russian speaker doesn't allow you to make some very important determinations which can later result in tragedy such as this one.

Just remember: when a beautiful woman tells you everything you want to hear, pushes all the right buttons and acts like a little angel by day then like a devil in bed at night, it does not make her an honest woman! Women are way smarter than us, men (especially inexperienced men) when it comes to these games. They can be totally heartless and calculating users though, and men who are looking for FSU women should be aware of that. If you don't believe me, ask any FSU woman. They will be the first ones to tell you that there are many dangerous, ruthless women in the FSU particularly in places where people are economically and politically deprived.

Hi Ed, i agree with pretty much everything you've said there.  I've only ever passed through Kiev, and in general i don't think i'm in a position to pass comment on Ukraine as i've never lived there.  But i know the city where i live in Russia VERY well, and i can tell you it's absolutely no different at all to Kiev in your description.  the place is overrun with 'prostitues/pro daters/sponsor seekers' call them what you like, they're all undesirable for a guy looking a wife with nice 'family values'.  Any RM/RW would tell you that you never look for a girl in a nightclub [at least not for a serious relationship].  Absolutely the worst possible place without question.  But if a guy is over 40 anyway, why would he be in or be led to a nightclub?  It makes me absolutely cringe watching those WM on tours, the few videos i've seen, incredibly false  :'(

Speaking of prostitues/ pro daters in nightclubs.  I have an aquaintance who was socialising with the owners of a top nightclub here, and according to the owner as many as 80% of the girls who go there are Pros in all the meanings of that word.  Some incredibly beautiful girls there, but there you go, the truth coming from the owner of the whole place.  These girls aren't looking for a rich foreigner to come along because they don't need to, there are lots of rich local guys, and these guys are quite happy to spoil them with money.  More  money than 90% of WM coming to FSU countries will ever have for sure.  I suppose you could say these girls are making hay while they can, after all they've got a limited shelf life.  But their lifestyle creates hard edged and in many cases quite ruthless women.  This is what your dealing with, and it's by no means a small number trust me.

I remember my best friend from here warning me about the local girls [here was a local guy who'd been betrayed by his wife while doing military service]  and of course in my first year here i was thinking with my eyes rather than my brain.  But it was a great learning experience.  I can usually spot the merkantil'nie girls just by how they carry themselves and their eyes.  The eyes never lie.  What you said about women being smarter than men in these matters is especially true of the girls here.  They're use to dealing with local guys who play the game way better than a WM can and tbph, WM are seen as easy prey by these girls when and if they appear.  They  don't actively seek them out on agency sites one big difference, but they're just as ruthless. 

I've seen this so many times over the years with new guys just arrived.  I tell them how it is but they either don't listen or don't believe me.  damn i even got a message yesterday from a new guy complaining about a girl who was dropped because he wasn't supporting her and she works in a bank and drives a car  :chuckle:  They met on Mamba before he got here.  he came here to 'learn Russian' without learning the most important rule first  :laugh: :reading:

Just in case anyone reading this thinks i have something against the local girls, i absolutely don't.  I have a few who are friends, and as Ed says they would tell you exactly the same about these girls.  For many of them it is enough просто жить в золотой клетке.

Ed i like your posts, they have a warmness and honesty to them and lack the ego of many posters here.  I don't know you at all and have never used your services and never will to be honest.  However, for anybody there who doesn't know the language or culture and wants to visit, if you've got the money i'd recommned this approach, as you'd be saving yourself a hell of a lot of hassle


Offline Boris

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Re: Not all endings are happy
« Reply #29 on: November 04, 2011, 07:58:43 AM »

They can be totally heartless and calculating users though, and men who are looking for FSU women should be aware of that. If you don't believe me, ask any FSU woman. They will be the first ones to tell you that there are many dangerous, ruthless women in the FSU particularly in places where people are economically and politically deprived

Ed, this is so true. My wife said that most Western men are sheep being led to the slaughter.. :laugh:

I had been married for 21 years and was happy for most of it. So going into this I knew what a "normal" happy relationship was supposed to be like. I wonder if a lot of guys who end up in disasters like the one descriced are missing the same kind of life experience.