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Poll

Men who come to marriage agencies, are usually shy and do not believe that intelligent, educated and attractive woman would be interested in them.  Quote by Elena at Elena's models. Is it true? how shy are you?

I am not shy at all (be honest here)
14 (17.5%)
I am barely able to look a beautiful woman in the eye without withering
4 (5%)
I live my life vicariously through others because I am too shy to leave my PC
1 (1.3%)
I give speeches in front of hundreds on a regular basis about my personal life
3 (3.8%)
I am somewhat shy in some social situations
9 (11.3%)
I am somewhere in between, and my shyness improves as I get to know people better
10 (12.5%)
I wish I could be like 2tallbill
4 (5%)
On a scale of 1-5 1 being a social outcast and recluse and 5 being a social superman I rate myself as a 1
1 (1.3%)
On a scale of 1-5 1 being a social outcast and recluse and 5 being a social superman I rate myself as a 2 2
5 (6.3%)
On a scale of 1-5 1 being a social outcast and recluse and 5 being a social superman I rate myself as a 3
8 (10%)
On a scale of 1-5 1 being a social outcast and recluse and 5 being a social superman I rate myself as a 4
9 (11.3%)
On a scale of 1-5 1 being a social outcast and recluse and 5 being a social superman I rate myself as a 5
4 (5%)
2tallbill is an idiot what does he know?
5 (6.3%)
Something else please elaborate
2 (2.5%)
Something else that Bill should have included as a poll question
1 (1.3%)

Total Members Voted: 46

Author Topic: How shy are you? (You have two votes)  (Read 2895 times)

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Online 2tallbill

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How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« on: September 30, 2011, 01:58:55 PM »
How would you describe your level of shyness and social aptitude? 

From Elena at Elena's models
Men who come to marriage agencies, are usually shy and do not believe that intelligent, educated and attractive woman would be interested in them. Give them this confidence, and you will selected above all the other candidates !!!

Lastly, be honest with yourself at least in the voting part. Maybe you can improve on your
shyness? I have some ideas about it and would like to hear yours as well.

I will tell a couple of personal stories about myself after the voting has gone on a
couple of days.

FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online shakespear

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Re: How shy are you?
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2011, 02:09:10 PM »
I've always had a problem with shyness . . . . . . . . .

 :ROFL:
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" - Katharine Hepburn

Offline Larry

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2011, 02:48:17 PM »
I was shy as a child, but became less and less so in high school and subsequently.  I saw that being shy was going to inhibit my success with girls so I forced myself to be outgoing.  And since my career has involved frequent speaking and presentations, I'm almost never reticent anymore.

All the same, I wish I could be more like Bill.


Offline Rasputin

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2011, 02:59:41 PM »
I am extremely shy when it came to dating  :biggrin: I can manage it better at work, but I still hate the wine and cheese where I have to mingle and socialize in an unstructured setting  :sick0012:
"Seems I live in Russia Rasputin visited" - Millaa
"So do I" - Molly35ru

Offline mendeleyev

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2011, 03:04:27 PM »
After voting for our friend Bill, there was only one option left!   :GRRRR: 

Online 2tallbill

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2011, 03:10:56 PM »
After voting for our friend Bill, there was only one option left!   :GRRRR:

All the same, I wish I could be more like Bill.

It's nice to have fans  ;D

I voted myself a 4, as I sometimes get tense speaking in front of large groups,
but back in the day I was shy to the point of being miserable, wishing I was brave
enough to walk up to a girl and say hello. 

Those days are thankfully gone, and don't think anyone who knows me would consider
me shy, but I surely was as a teenager.

FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline Zachris

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2011, 04:20:09 PM »
I think we need more than two choices here.

Shyness is situational. For example, I regularly speak before hundreds of people and sometimes include comments about my personal life. In that situation, I am not shy at all. However, I will find myself tongue tied when first talking to a beautiful woman that I find attractive.

Strangely enough, I once did have the opportunity to speak before a room of 25 very attractive women. No problem at all speaking to all of them. Still, some problems speaking to each one individually.

Having a PC to start conversations is very helpful in this regard.
Numquam tribuere ad malitia quod sufficienter explicatur stultitia.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Никогда не приписывать злобы, которое может быть адекватно объяснено глупостью.

Offline Vinnvinny

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2011, 04:29:23 PM »
Shyness is situational. For example, I regularly speak before hundreds of people and sometimes include comments about my personal life. In that situation, I am not shy at all. However, I will find myself tongue tied when first talking to a beautiful woman that I find attractive.

Strangely enough my situation is completely opposite. Sometime I have to speak to many people (only did 'hundreds' once though) and absolutely hate it. :sick0012:

Put me with 2 or 3 people though, regardless of sex or looks, and I cant shut up. :)

Online Steamer

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2011, 05:01:44 PM »
With men (or women that I'm not sexually interested in) I'm open and confident in myself but put me in a room with a woman that I have the hots for and really want to put my best foot forward then I get all stumble mouthed and shy. I have a hard time with the "audition".
Life ain't nothing but a poker game
And no two hands are quite the same
But I've never seen a winner that didn't bet

Offline Paul

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2011, 06:44:58 PM »
I've never been too shy shy hush hush eye to eye (sorry, it'll get stuck in your head if you click on the link) when it comes to talking to the opposite sex and would have never used an agency like Elena's.

Online d672

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2011, 07:18:23 PM »
With men (or women that I'm not sexually interested in) I'm open and confident in myself but put me in a room with a woman that I have the hots for and really want to put my best foot forward then I get all stumble mouthed and shy. I have a hard time with the "audition".

 I'm the same way with women I am attracted to when I'm face to face. I want to say something whitty and interesting but be damned if I could think of anything to say after a couple short sentences.   :'(
 
 I do notice that it was easier for me to carry on a conversation with an attractive woman on the computer. Even when I'm on skype face to face with them I'm able to open up more. Don't really know why.

Online 2tallbill

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How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2011, 08:03:37 PM »

 I'm the same way with women I am attracted to when I'm face to face. I want to say something whitty and interesting but be damned if I could think of anything to say after a couple short sentences.   :'(
 
 I do notice that it was easier for me to carry on a conversation with an attractive woman on the computer. Even when I'm on skype face to face with them I'm able to open up more. Don't really know why.

Ok, here is what you do

You say "Wow you are absolutely gorgeous, I had no idea that you would be so
stunning in person. My mind is going blank while my mouth is moving!! please you
must help me!! "

She smiles and says "what can I do?"

You say one of the following
1. "Quickly take off all your clothes!!"
2. "Kiss me before I trip over my tongue!!"
3. "Press you body closely to mine!!" ........."no forget that you might get stabbed"
4. "wake me I am dreaming"

"You are soooooooooooo beautiful ! How will I ever win your heart?
Hurry! send the dragons I will slay them all !!!
The black knights are all cowards I don't see them they must be hiding in fear !!"

Yes, I agree it's corny, no need to be too cool for school. Corny works, you
are talking, she is smiling and the world is still spinning and things are looking up.

Udachi

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Online d672

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2011, 08:12:42 PM »
 Beell.... thanks for the advice, but I'm married now, remember?

  If I try that now with some hot woman my wife will KEEL me!!!    :chuckle:

Offline dwfunk

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2011, 02:04:21 AM »
Beautiful women terrify me.  It's difficult to initiate a conversation and I'm terrified I'll somehow blow it. 

One of my now good friends and a coworker at work is drop dead gorgeous!  Petite, dark hair, perfect shape, Latino, just drop dead gorgeous!  I had been assigned to LVL4 support cases that had been elevated to engineering.  By default I got the Russian/Ukrainian ones, but this particular case was in Spanish. 
I had requested the assistance of a Spanish speaker and they sent "Marta" to assist me!  GULP!!   :hidechair:  Fortunately, she had printed out the case files and had begun making some notes in English for me.  To this day, the only analysis I've been able to do with that case was due to re-reading the English notes.   :drunk:

According to my other coworkers, she translated and explained the entire file for me but I was totally lost and don't remember a thing about that initial conference!  My coworkers still tease me to this day about that session.  They said I looked like I was in extreme distress!  I was!  All I could remember is that I could not breath and I think I stared holes in the printout because I was terrified to look at her!  Now occasionally, she keeps reminding me that she doesn't bite!   :scared0005:


There is a phenomenon that happens with me that my friends have pointed out to me.  They've labeled it the "Blue Eyes Effect" and they swear I need to bottle it.  Trust me, if I could, I would and I would drown myself in it!  Shortly after they pointed it out to me, I tried to figure it out, tried to make it work and that was the driest time of my life!  When I gave up trying to "find" it and force it to work, it began working again. 

It doesn't happen all the time, and when it does, I'm "lost," again.  I can be in a restaurant, in a store, at the park or at the mall and a strange women will walk up to me and comment on my eyes.  Sometimes I'm asked if I do theater or movies.  (No idea where that comes from).  These women are always very good looking and according to my friends, mostly foreign.    My best friend and I were at a restaurant and this gorgeous Eastern European woman, (according to my buddy) stops at our table and asked my buddy to take her picture with me!  She said I had the most beautiful eyes and something about being a perfect "other half".

When she walked away, my buddy slapped the table and said, "Dude!  You've got to bottle that!"  Damn!  Wish I could!  It has brought me a relationship or two and that's been nice. 

My first meeting with Natasha was by chance and in the chaos of the airport.  Later we met briefly for coffee and exchanged contact info.  When I returned home, I was very surprised to also find a message from her on EM.  We wrote cards, letters, many emails, sms's and spoke on the phone daily, (that was work!!) and even though I 'thought' I felt comfortable with her, I was a nervous wreck the first 2 days we were together when I went back to visit her exclusively.  I've got to say she did the most to make me feel at ease and for that I'm eternally thankful.

I met 'Barbie' at the gun range. Another chance meeting.  She was intimidating, however I was able to lose myself in the process of unjamming her rifle and explaining how it functioned and how it was maintained.  She made me promise to come back the next week and teach her more.  Things just kind of evolved from there.

Oh, and there was "Kara" in early 2005 . . .

ila_rendered

"Kara" was an Air France stewardess I met going over on one of my first trips before I fell for Ancestral ladies!




-david

Offline MND

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2011, 03:01:52 AM »
I have never been shy with anyone no matter who it is.

Offline leeholsen

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2011, 12:22:56 PM »
I picked somewhat shy in some social situations and give speeches to hundreds of people.

quite opposites but i have never had a problem speaking in front of a lot of people(20-50), but often will be the quiet one in any group of people i've known for a while. if it's new people, i talk pretty good; but i'm just naturally not a big talker. good thing i chose computer programming and not sales.  :)
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Online andrewfi

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2011, 01:52:52 PM »
As somebody else noticed, shyness is situational.

I have no problem dealing with large numbers of people for presentations, meetings and social events.
I am much more shy when dealing personally.

I think that'd be quite common for many people, particularly those who have had to get used to presentations, business social events and the like.

Result: nobody believes me when I say I am shy. I am sure that is true for many other guys like me. :(

...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online shakespear

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #17 on: October 06, 2011, 02:02:08 PM »
Result: nobody believes me when I say I am shy. I am sure that is true for many other guys like me. :(

Andrewfi, having the pleasure of actually meeting you and spending some extended time with you, shy is not one of the first 20 words that come to mind in describing you   :innocent:
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" - Katharine Hepburn

Online andrewfi

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #18 on: October 06, 2011, 02:08:31 PM »
Result: nobody believes me when I say I am shy. I am sure that is true for many other guys like me. :(

Andrewfi, having the pleasure of actually meeting you and spending some extended time with you, shy is not one of the first 20 words that come to mind in describing you   :innocent:

See, that's EXACTLY what I mean.
But with respect, you and I were not ever going to be intimate were we?
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Online shakespear

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #19 on: October 06, 2011, 02:28:52 PM »
But with respect, you and I were not ever going to be intimate were we?

Did I miss you sending any signals?   :o
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun" - Katharine Hepburn

Online andrewfi

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #20 on: October 06, 2011, 02:34:19 PM »
Don't worry there were no signals to miss.
...everything ends always well; if it’s still bad, then it’s not the end!

Offline Slumba

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #21 on: October 06, 2011, 03:32:31 PM »
Result: nobody believes me when I say I am shy. I am sure that is true for many other guys like me. :(

Andrewfi, having the pleasure of actually meeting you and spending some extended time with you, shy is not one of the first 20 words that come to mind in describing you   :innocent:

See, that's EXACTLY what I mean.
But with respect, you and I were not ever going to be intimate were we?

THIS is why we have a PM function on the site, I think ...  :nod:
Anchors Rewoven

Offline shawnu1965

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2011, 06:30:38 PM »
Sigh. If I'm being honest, I am very shy. It's why I probably would not do well if I tried to go back to Ukraine. I have no problem talking to women (if I speak the language), but the intimacy issue is where I am sorely lacking.

Online andrewfi

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #23 on: October 10, 2011, 03:22:47 AM »
Here's a thought, something that has worked for me in dealing with the shyness that comes from one on one situations where the outcome/person is important.

I used to have a real problem asking women out. In truth it was the fear of rejection.
When I thought about it, I came to understand that of all the women I had ever asked out for a date I had hardly ever been turned down. Rejection was not the issue but rather fear of rejection, but the fear was unfounded.

Same with sex. I used to be very backward about coming forward - now, not so much. I came to understand that men and women have the same needs and desires and that if a women wants to be with me then she knows as well as I do that sex is part of that picture.
Again, in my life rejection is hardly an issue. So what is to be shy of?

So, whilst I still think of myself as shy and I know that I hang back more than some people might do I understand that I can deal with it by knowing that the numbers are on my side.

Dunno if that can work for other people - maybe it is so obvious that everyone does it. ;)

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Online msmoby

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Re: How shy are you? (You have two votes)
« Reply #24 on: October 10, 2011, 04:19:29 AM »
not at all shy ( when it came to flirting  ) but thought Beel should have added pefer to stay away from 'glossy sites' and find a serious wife.. ;)
You won’t make every topic about you. Think of it like containing a virus: you can’t have it infecting everywhere.

Here is my Russophobia/Kremlinphobia topic