Author Topic: Birthday Flowers (Read 9896 times)

Zachris · « **on:** April 13, 2011, 08:34:51 AM »

I have seen elsewhere within these forums that gifts of any sort are not usually expected when sent outside of agency services (at least not before actual contact). The implication is that sending gifts marks you as a chump.

I have been corresponding with a lady for about a month now, and I note from her profile that her birthday will be next month. Would sending her flowers for her birthday be a bad thing to do? I don't mind being a chump if it makes her happy, but I don't want to seem like I am pushing things faster than they should naturally progress.

This has always been a BIG area of confusion for me when dealing with women of any cultural background. It seems that if I give a gift and the timing was wrong or it was seen as too grand a gift the relationship will suffer. However, if I was expected to give a gift and did not, or the gift was not grand enough, then the relationship also suffers. I believe many other gentlemen out there will recognize this dilemma. So, I would like to take advantage of a lady's perspective. What is the right thing for me to do -- or at least what is the NOT WRONG thing for me to do?

In a more general question, when flowers are sent from the other side of the world how does one insure that an odd number of flowers are sent?

Thanks for your help and opinion,
Tom

Vika · « **Reply #1 on:** April 13, 2011, 12:13:44 PM »

Hi Zachris,

I think that sending flowers to a girl you like for her Birthday is a very nice and a very romantic gesture. FSU girls are all about romance. It's a simple and not a very expensive gift, and you will not be pushing things at all. I think it would be worse if her Birthday was not acknowledged..

And from a girl's perspective: we like flowers and we like it when a guy cares.

On another hand, if you haven't met before then just be careful, don't get your hopes up quite yet. Only because you haven't met her yet.

I think that the right thing would be to to do what you feel is right in your heart. If you feel it's right to send the flowers, then send them, if you have doubts and you don't feel good about the idea then just send her an e-card.

As to sending an odd number, you can just specify when ordering that you'd like to send an odd number of flowers.

Hope this helps!

Good luck!

mendeleyev · « **Reply #2 on:** April 13, 2011, 02:35:50 PM »

At around $100 or even more, flowers are an investment and as Vika says, follow your heart.

Whatever you decide, send her an E-card in Russian. They're FREE, yet in her language shows that you put forward the time and effort to use the language of her heart.

Открытки С Днем Рождения (birthday cards) http://www.davno.ru/cards/bd.html

Translation Guide to filling in the blanks: http://russianreport.wordpress.com/stories-of-life-in-russia/womens-day-march-8/

Vika · « **Reply #3 on:** April 13, 2011, 03:44:48 PM »

Quote from: mendeleyev on April 13, 2011, 02:35:50 PM

Whatever you decide, send her an E-card in Russian. They're FREE, yet in her language shows that you put forward the time and effort to use the language of her heart.

Открытки С Днем Рождения (birthday cards) http://www.davno.ru/cards/bd.html

An e-card in Russian is a very good idea!

Eyjafjallajökull · « **Reply #4 on:** April 13, 2011, 04:16:23 PM »

Quote from: Zachris on April 13, 2011, 08:34:51 AM

I have seen elsewhere within these forums that gifts of any sort are not usually expected when sent outside of agency services (at least not before actual contact). The implication is that sending gifts marks you as a chump.

There is no such thing. Sending flowers and/or little gift baskets will mark you as a serious, generous and caring gentleman. But asking her for her home address at an early stage can be a red flag.

If you are planning to use the flower delivery service in her home city, they will not screw up with the quantity of flowers.

RG · « **Reply #5 on:** April 13, 2011, 05:41:26 PM »

It's sadly not inexpensive to send flowers to the FSU as a non-local - although some locales are cheaper than others, it pays to do some shopping around, $100+ for 11-13 roses is not uncommon to see for prices, while you could buy the same in the FSU for significantly less. There's a decent thread here somewhere on various florists and members opinions - offhand, I recall using roses.ru / florists.ru (same owners) and one other - prices were around 60% less (somewhat reasonable / comparable to US delivery) than the other one I had used before.

I somewhat agree with E15 about asking for her address, but it really depends on the length and relative quality of your pen pal relationship - some people in a month may exchange a half dozen emails, others may have had 100 hours of phone or skype already, and I'd highly suggest you have verified a real phone number and have an address for anyone before planning a trip, if not sooner. Assuming you're on reasonably "close" terms, it's easy enough to say you wanted to send a postcard or card, to see how far she lives from the airport or metro, etc.

I've sent flowers before meeting, and entirely discarded the whole idea of a "picture of them being delivered," as there was no agency connection, and it seemed somewhat tacky to me, but YMMV.

I do wonder, E15/others - what would your reaction be if someone had sent you flowers and the delivery came with a camera taking your picture?

Eyjafjallajökull · « **Reply #6 on:** April 14, 2011, 08:14:47 AM »

Quote from: RG on April 13, 2011, 05:41:26 PM

I do wonder, E15/others - what would your reaction be if someone had sent you flowers and the delivery came with a camera taking your picture?

For me it would be a serious turn off.

But, again, I'm not the type of person who would be using a dating agency.

TomT · « **Reply #7 on:** April 14, 2011, 08:54:05 AM »

I concur; such a thing would turn me off as well.

Muzh_1 · « **Reply #8 on:** April 14, 2011, 01:10:09 PM »

Quote from: RG on April 13, 2011, 05:41:26 PM

I do wonder, E15/others - what would your reaction be if someone had sent you flowers and the delivery came with a camera taking your picture?

Instead of a camera, how about a prenup?

Zachris · « **Reply #9 on:** April 14, 2011, 01:18:06 PM »

Thanks for everyone's opinions, and the new opinions that may be coming.

Things I learned:

1. Flowers don't hurt, but an e-card may be just as good when still in early stages of the relationship.
2. There is such a thing as an e-card to FSUW!
3. Don't be too quick to ask for her home address
4. Don't waste money on the photo during delivery as it may ruin the intended nice gesture. In this case the penny saved may be well earned.
5. Try to use a florist in the lady's home city.

Tom

Eyjafjallajökull · « **Reply #10 on:** April 14, 2011, 01:48:42 PM »

Tom, keep us posted.

Quote from: Muzh_1 on April 14, 2011, 01:10:09 PM

Instead of a camera, how about a prenup?

That too, no doubt.
I don't know if anyone here watches "Chuck", but from the latest episode I learned that prenup is a sensitive issue for both men and women, and in the US too.

2tallbill · « **Reply #11 on:** April 14, 2011, 07:06:23 PM »

Quote from: Zachris on April 14, 2011, 01:18:06 PM

4. Don't waste money on the photo during delivery as it may ruin the intended nice gesture. In this case the penny saved may be well earned.

In the pre Skype days getting a flower photo was the only way to see what a girl looked like (without bondo, war paint / photo shop, etc) Now days you must just insist on Skype.

MOST IMPORTANT NOTE ON FLOWERS OF ALL
Do NOT send Natalia's flowers to Svetlana or Svetlana's flowers to Natalia or you will have some splainin to do 2dumbBeel did this (my other nickname)

JayH · « **Reply #12 on:** May 27, 2012, 07:45:31 PM »

Apologies for reviving old thread-- but still very relevent.
Prior to going to Ukraine I was shocked at the cost to send flowers( via internet search or sites thru web sites)
I looked at what was supposed to be average wage( read $250 per month-- and subject of another thread I revived) -- I could not reconcile the cost and what I believed was Ukraine cost structure-- and asking price.
Subsequently I have often bought flowers at local markets on city- and the reality is they are not much cheaper than buying at home( I am referring to roses). If you were asking them to deliver-- often there is no system in place where the flowers are cheapest.I organised a taxi with the seller( no English and me no Russian) and it all went very well.Probably only about 20% cheaper than doing over the internet.
I drive everywhere when I am in Ukraine-- and you can buy flowers very cheaply from roadside markets.The price of flowers no longer bothers me like it used to-- now chocolates are a different story. About $7 in the supermarket-- and 50-60 on websites.That makes no sense to me.Mostly -- girls cannot send photo they take fast enough !!
I love to see and undertsand how people live,work,interact-- and I love the cultural differences and learning.

2tallbill · « **Reply #13 on:** May 27, 2012, 07:55:44 PM »

Quote from: JayH on May 27, 2012, 07:45:31 PM

Apologies for reviving old thread-- but still very relevent.
Prior to going to Ukraine I was shocked at the cost to send flowers( via internet search or sites thru web sites)
I looked at what was supposed to be average wage( read $250 per month-- and subject of another thread I revived) -- I could not reconcile the cost and what I believed was Ukraine cost structure-- and asking price.
Subsequently I have often bought flowers at local markets on city- and the reality is they are not much cheaper than buying at home( I am referring to roses). If you were asking them to deliver-- often there is no system in place where the flowers are cheapest.I organised a taxi with the seller( no English and me no Russian) and it all went very well.Probably only about 20% cheaper than doing over the internet.
I drive everywhere when I am in Ukraine-- and you can buy flowers very cheaply from roadside markets.The price of flowers no longer bothers me like it used to-- now chocolates are a different story. About $7 in the supermarket-- and 50-60 on websites.That makes no sense to me.Mostly -- girls cannot send photo they take fast enough !!
I love to see and undertsand how people live,work,interact-- and I love the cultural differences and learning.

If you know somebody local then you can spend 1/10th as much money on flowers.
The problem for me has always been finding a reasonable way to pay your the local
friend in a reasonable amount of time.

Larry · « **Reply #14 on:** May 27, 2012, 08:07:14 PM »

Quote

Prior to going to Ukraine I was shocked at the cost to send flowers( via internet search or sites thru web sites)
I looked at what was supposed to be average wage( read $250 per month-- and subject of another thread I revived) -- I could not reconcile the cost and what I believed was Ukraine cost structure-- and asking price.

I've never sent flowers to anyone in Ukraine, but I too was shocked to see prices of flowers in Russia. I didn't see any arrangement I wanted to send priced at less than $120 (about 95 Euros, and, what, about 35 British pounds

).

TomT · « **Reply #15 on:** May 27, 2012, 08:45:59 PM »

Next to 2dumbBeel's faux pas, the worst thing that a man can do is to not send flowers on a girl's birthday... and arriving a day early is infinitely better than a day late. Those who suffer from marasmus would do well to leave a note on their calendar a week in advance to remind them to make an on-line order with Flora Express.

JayH · « **Reply #16 on:** May 27, 2012, 09:44:37 PM »

Bill-- re names & address's-- see my post in mail/delivery !
When I know I will be back in city -- I made a guess and pay for in advance ie--leave the money with them and explain what I want-- I got nieces email and she was able to translate with computer.When I used up my credit- they still did it fo me when I said I will see you in a few weeks! The did choose the most beautifull roses for me and I was greeted like an old friend when I reappeared.It worked great! And yes-- I still trust people.I have had many great experiences buying flowers and a lot of fun doing it.

Mikeav8r · « **Reply #17 on:** October 16, 2013, 11:31:00 AM »

Bringing this one back up for those that may need to reference it with an upcoming birthday and provide some feedback. My GF's birthday is today so I placed an order for flowers and a teddy bear late last night. About an hour later it dawned on me that these were being ordered in Russia so I may have screwed up and waited too long (especially since yesterday was a holiday there) and became a bit worried they would not arrive on time. I was pleasantly surprised today when I received several texts and photos from her and then a phone call saying thank you. She was very excited and happy which of course made my day.

I used Roses.ru and never received a confirmation email or anything and the cost was about 3 times what you would expect to pay here....BUT...the reaction by her makes it all worthwhile. They were delivered with an order placed just 12 hours before...so it was a positive experience overall.

One other point worth noting. The charge is coming from Russia so I receive a fraud alert and rejection from the credit card company on my first attempt, so I had to call them and authorize it....just FYI.

JayH · « **Reply #18 on:** January 18, 2014, 12:36:36 AM »

Flowers delivered at what I think is the best price I have see via the internet in Ukraine--also do Russia.
http://www.sendflowers.ua
http://ua-flowers.com/flower-delivery-kiev
Sold: 7564
Red roses by the piece - Composition: rose red.
Red roses by the piece From 21* UAH Sold: 2026 USD$3 approx
White roses by the piece - Composition: rose white.
White roses by the piece From 21* UAH Sold: 1112
Memories + candies as a gift - Composition: Raffaello,russkus,Rose red,aspidistra,packing.
Memories + candies as a gift

This is very cheap-- local prices. I was quoted 29 UAH per rose ( 228UAH(USD$28.50 approx)when ordering 9) plus 49UAH delivery/ + 1 yes one as in 1 UAH for confirming photo and email.
That is as good as it is going to get I think. Note -they are offering free delivery in Kiev. Delivery I paid was in another city.
Previously I was very reluctant to pay asking prices quoted as they were out of all proportion to what I knew were costs there--I dealt direct via email with market florist who helped me directly--but it was only one smaller city. No excuse at that price not to be sending!!

Burubulka · « **Reply #19 on:** February 05, 2014, 06:15:43 PM »

Things are much easier))
as from my experience all delieveres presents photos of lady in moment she got her gift. with gift of course))

and of course ladies like flowers. Do you now any lady who doesn't like presents for men?) heh.... hardly))

another questions is the price...
but if you are not in long communication with her why not to send something more easy? Chocolate or cake for example?

AkMike · « **Reply #20 on:** February 05, 2014, 07:32:49 PM »

Burubulka, Where are you from?

Mikeav8r · « **Reply #21 on:** February 05, 2014, 07:41:42 PM »

Quote from: AkMike on February 05, 2014, 07:32:49 PM

Burubulka, Where are you from?

I was wondering the same thing....

AkMike · « **Reply #22 on:** February 05, 2014, 07:47:05 PM »

Based on the use of the wording I'm going to guess UA.

Mikeav8r · « **Reply #23 on:** February 05, 2014, 07:56:59 PM »

Quote from: AkMike on February 05, 2014, 07:47:05 PM

Based on the use of the wording I'm going to guess UA.

Again, you beat me to it. I was trying to figure out when Odessa made the move to the US...

AkMike · « **Reply #24 on:** February 05, 2014, 07:58:04 PM »

Odessa? NAH Kiev imo.

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Author Topic: Birthday Flowers (Read 9896 times)