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Author Topic: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.  (Read 3103 times)

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Offline charger

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I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« on: December 14, 2010, 03:23:31 AM »
OK, I created a thread back in May about the end of a relationship and where to go to vacation in Kiev instead. Well, over the course of the weeks before I went back to Kiev we talked and decided to give it another try. Here is my first post. http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php?topic=11207.msg161330#msg161330

(Yeah I know, flame away.  :hidechair: )

But back to my subject. I spent my  whole vacation with her which turned out to be 17 days. We went to Alushta and stayed at the Radisson. It is a nice hotel, great garden area, nice pool and beach access. It really isn't that expensive except for the food at the in hotel restaurant compared to what I was expecting. I think a room for two was 130 or so. It was early in the season so it was not too busy. It was a great week and went well. I only ate at a few different places and the food was pretty good. The world cup was going on so this older Russian guy tried to talk to me as best he could about the games when he would see me at the pool. Seemed like a good guy, but we couldn't really talk due to the language barrier. Very few people speak English so it will be tougher unless you learn some words. I do have to tell you all, swimming in the black sea, looking back at the mountains, trees and buildings was incredible. It was a great view and I really enjoyed my time there.

Also there is a water park that I walked by, but did not go in. I guess there are hotel rooms to stay at.

The rest of the time was spent in Kiev visiting various spots I hadn't seen the first time I was there.

I returned from leave, was switched to a new job (promotion with no pay increase) and hurt myself and had surgery. I've been dang busy! The relationship continued and was actually better in some aspects. There were a few glaring areas though where we diverged in major life decisions. These issues would come up periodically. They would never become resolved and It finally came to a close about a week ago. It may have taken me a while to get my head out of my 4th point of contact but I finally did. It was not an easy decision, but it was the best decision to end it. We are both not right for each other. I know I am not the type of guy she is looking for even if she thinks I am. Having similar likes is not enough for a long term relationship. I am sure she will figure that out some day.

In some ways I am glad it did go on a while longer. I learned a lot about Ukraine and it taught me about some of my flaws that I need to work on.

Enough rambling...

I am trying to get stationed in Europe for my next assignment so who knows what will be in my future after leaving Iraq. Probably another adventure, somewhere.

Offline skiingandrunning

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Re: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2010, 09:02:20 AM »
Quote from: charger
It was not an easy decision, but it was the best decision to end it. We are both not right for each other. I know I am not the type of guy she is looking for even if she thinks I am.

Never easy, but it's the best thing as I have ended a previous relationship with an FSUW for the same reason.  But, if we know it's not going to work, then there is no reason to prolong the relationship as it then takes time away from meeting the right person and only gives the other false hopes.  So you did the right thing!

[Edit: I read what I wrote in your first post and it sounds very similar to what I wrote above.  So I'll add, when you end such a relationship, then move on and do not look back as there are lots of nice women out there as I found this to be true and I'm not with a person I have no questions about.]

Offline Stirlitz

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Re: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« Reply #2 on: December 15, 2010, 04:54:16 AM »
Nice read but I do not get something. Why do you claim that you are an idiot?
Igor Kalinin
Russian Translator/Interpreter/Guide/Agent for Odessa, the Crimea and the rest of Ukraine
www.odessaguide.net


Offline el_guero

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Re: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2010, 08:03:26 AM »
Charger,

Thank you for your service.  A lot of us went before in less trying times.

Sometimes, it just takes a good relationship or two to get us, men, straightened out.

Of course, you really have to ask:  "Is she the one I will wish I hadn't let get away 20 years from now?"  Different ways of handling things life throws at you . . . is she really worse than an AW?

Once, you cross that bridge - keep going which ever way it is.

I left two ladies overseas when I was redeployed.  One thought I was right for her, but she was not right for me.  The other was my greatest loss.  And, the only time I ever overlapped women (3 days).  Although, that might change when I get to Ukraine.

Keep your head up.  Keep looking for a great woman.

Wayne

Offline el_guero

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Re: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2010, 08:12:30 AM »
Nice read but I do not get something. Why do you claim that you are an idiot?

Because he has to "pull his head out." 

Just a guess.

;)

Whoo-ah.

Online 2tallbill

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I'm an idiot?
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2010, 05:56:12 PM »

I don't think that you should beat yourself up at all about this.
(My son is a Naval Aviator and an officer)

You might have dumped her earlier but you were trying to make sense of
it and wanted to give the whole thing a chance. I for one tried to make a
doomed relationship work and failed miserably. So I would advise dusting
yourself off, and giving it another try. You surely learned several things that
you will keep an eye out for in the future.

Udachi

Bill
FSUW are not for entry level daters. FSUW don't do vague FSUW like a man of action so be a man of action  If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane. There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.
Get an apartment not a hotel. DON'T recycle girls

Offline charger

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Re: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2010, 12:32:06 AM »
I was saying that I was an idiot because I thought I let things go on too long, when deep down I had a feeling it was not going to work.

After reading the other comments It made me look at the situation differently. If I had not gone for the second visit I would have wondered if it might have worked out if I gave the relationship another chance. Now I know for sure that it just would not work.  I would say this is closure for the relationship and a much more positive way to look at it.

I won't give up on looking, wherever that may be.  I am not sure what I will do when I get back as I do not have my next assignment. This relationship came to me through a co-worker so I have not done what many other people here have done and actively searched for someone in the FSU. After going to Kiev, I can definitely say I like what I saw and I don't think I would rule out doing this again. The bad thing is my leave schedules prevent me from going any time I want. 

Getting stationed in Europe would be nice this time around as everything is so close, and a short trip for a 4 day weekend.


Offline mcb885

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Re: I'm an idiot, and a quick trip report for Kiev and Crimea.
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2010, 11:17:00 AM »
you did the right thing, I'm in Iraq myself and am going to Lugansk in February, well late January but won't be in Lugansk till about February 1st.  I can't wait to go, I do have some worries being in the service the whole would it work thing.  When not in Iraq I am stationed in Hawaii.  Had a friend that went to Ukraine said he had a blast is actually married to a Ukraine lady now.