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Author Topic: "Fewer Russian women are interested in Western men" says The Washington Post.  (Read 2073 times)

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Offline Manny

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Foreign marriage no salve.

Family values: Polls suggest that Russian women no longer blindly desire foreign men


Studies suggest that, despite the crisis, fewer Russian women are pursuing foreign husbands. Foreign men have also discovered along the way that Russian women are neither accommodating nor submissive.



Many women now prefer men from their home country.

Children still read the  story in which the Prince saves girls from a woeful life. For Soviet women, this fable moved from fantasy to a life's mission. New studies declare the end of an era, however, suggesting that fewer Russian women are interested in Western men.

In Soviet times, the average Russian woman firmly believed that her problems could be resolved by a foreign prince who would be generous, kind, solicitous, with the face of Richard Gere. (In the early 1990s, the Western prince was based on box office hits like "Pretty Woman" and "Bodyguard.")

After the Iron Curtain fell, Russian women suddenly discovered that they were considered among the most beautiful in the world. The few women who were allowed to travel outside the U.S.S.R., select dancers and actresses, were indeed very attractive, as if it were a point of national prestige.

It's surprising that the entire female population did not emigrate during those first heady years of freedom. Soviet Cinderella stories circulated by word of mouth, while marriage agencies popped up in every sizable city.

It turned out much later that these foreign princes didn't own luxury villas and yachts as their brides had imagined. And the move to a Western country was not often paradise. Ten years after the curtain fell, the Russian press was rife with stories of Russian-foreign unions with tragic endings.

Today, the spotlight is on women who have returned to Russia with the children from their foreign husbands, in violation of court rulings abroad. Foreign fathers have then kidnapped these children and spirited them out of Russia.

In the difficult `90s, some women did not hide that for them a foreign husband was just a "means of transportation." This is what led the young beauty with the conservative education to marry an aging car mechanic. Foreign grooms discovered that Russian brides were neither submissive nor accommodating. A Russian woman can be submissive if she needs something from a man. Russians have an anecdote: A woman and man spend a lyrical night together. When they wake up, she says: "Now, we'll put the couch over there."

Strangely enough, many foreigners who've been burned by Russian brides try to meet another. For them, the good news is that about a fourth of Russian women still dream of happiness with a foreigner. True, all of these women are "aged 55 and up." But since when is age a hindrance to real happiness?

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Source

The article is written by someone called Svetlana Smetanina so make of that what you will. Its what I would call selective reporting. She is hardly telling all the tale.

Manny's Note: I guess the Washington Post does not have proper editors judging by the grammar in that article.
Read a trip report from North Korea >>here<< - Read a trip report from South Korea, China and Hong Kong >>here<<

Look what the American media makes some people believe:
Putin often threatens to strike US with nuclear weapons.

Offline Ward_Cleaver

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Foreign men have also discovered along the way that Russian women are neither accommodating nor submissive.

:ROFL:

Who wants an accommodating or submissive woman anyway?  Where is the fun in that?  I want a Russian tiger that will challenge me to make her submit. :8)

Offline RG

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While I'm sure there's a measure of intentional exaggeration and sensationalism in the article, one could think of it as a good thing - perhaps now those willing are more open to a good man and a real life, instead of the fairy tales.

Note that I believe fully that it is the man's responsibility to ensure his prospective partner understands the life he would be bringing her in to, instead of being unscrupulous and dishonest or misleading.  

It would seem the driving reason is simply education, much of which no doubt is coming via the Internet as well as travel.  If a prospective partner can not be counted on to give a true account of life in the Western world, I can only see that education as a good thing.

On the down side, I'm unsure if that means more or fewer scammers in those still having interest?  :-*

PS - my g/f and I have discussed this a few times.  She has traveled and generally knew what to expect in the US already, although we have still found some surprises in our discussions.  However, some lingering fallacies certainly existed in her parents minds, and not everyone in the FSU is as "up to date" in expectations of life in other countries.  I saw that numerous times in the past, with a few even going so far as to claim a "perfect place" in the US (never having been there, of course), and a handful of other amusing but incorrect, thoughts or statements.


Offline TomT

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Here is the full text of the article as it was originally published in Russia. (What a surprise!)

"According to the SuperJob website, only 7% would still agree to marry a non-native, 12% are undecided, and the rest are adamantly against any such arrangement. The general consensus was summed up by the respondent who wrote: "Russian men may be coarser, but theyґre our own."

This is especially strange since only recently a "foreign prince" was the man of most womenґs dreams in the former Soviet Union (90%). And this wasnґt just a dream. It was much more: an emergency landing strip, a potential ticket to a happy family life. In other words, the average Russian woman between the ages of 18 and 65 firmly believed in her heart of hearts that her life with all its unresolved problems (drunken husband, tyrannical boss, lack of money) would magically change when He appeared: generous, kind, solicitous, with the face of Richard Gere or Kevin Kostner. (In the early 1990s the picture of the Western prince was based on box-office hits like "Pretty Woman" and "Bodyguard".)

Why Russian women felt so sure of this is another question. After the "iron curtain" came down, in addition to the chance to partake of the boons of Western civilization, Russian women received yet another substantial bonus. They suddenly discovered that they were considered practically the most beautiful women in the world. Whether thatґs the case or not is hard to say. Research studies have not been done. But this is an instance when a sincere belief was all that was needed.

Of course, this legend did not come from out of nowhere. Probably the few women who were allowed to travel outside the USSR were indeed very attractive (I wouldnґt be surprised if the decision was taken at the very top since this was a matter of national prestige): dancers from the Moiseyev Ensemble, ballerinas from the Bolshoi Theater, to say nothing of the Soviet movie actresses who shone at the Cannes and Venice Film Festivals. The reflected beauty of these ravishing representatives of the USSR was miraculously projected onto all of their female compatriots. Itґs hardly surprising that many of them wanted to take advantage of this. In the early 1990s only the laziest Russian women were not engaged in efforts to plight their troth to a foreigner. The only surprising thing is that the entire female population did not emigrate during those first heady years of freedom (they were probably too lazy). Happy stories of Soviet Cinderellas meeting their foreign princes circulated by word of mouth while marriage agencies popped up in just about every sizeable city. Meanwhile, the vital statistics (age, appearance) of these "Cinderellas" played no role in their fate. Everyone had a chance.

How the fairytale played out in reality emerged much later - with the mass distribution made possible by the Internet. It turned out that these foreign princes often had little in common with that grand title and did not necessarily own a luxury villa and yacht as their brides imagined. And the move to a Western country was not necessarily paradise. At one point the Russian press was fairly teeming with hair-raising stories of Russian-foreign unions, some with fatal ends. Today the spotlight is on Russian women who have returned to Russia with the children of their foreign husbands, in violation of court rulings abroad. And the foreign fathers who have then kidnapped these children and spirited them out of Russia.

Psychologists versed in the subject are convinced that 80% of these marriages break down. This happens for one reason: the husbands and their wives want different things. Russian women, of course, love flowers, poems and the romantic like. But some are highly practical. (On my way to work the other day, the car in front of me was sporting an amusing bumper sticker: IґLL MARRY YOU FOR AS LONG AS THE CRISIS LASTS. Every joke, as they say, contains a grain of truth.) In the difficult `90s many women did not hide that fact that for them a foreign husband was just a "means of transportation". They would move to a prosperous country and then think what to do next. This is what led the young beauty with the conservative education to marry an aging car mechanic. Car mechanics are entitled to happiness too, of course, but in the ordinary scheme of things these two people would never have come together.

Meanwhile, the foreign grooms, worn out by their emancipated countrywomen, hoped to find in their Russian brides a European version of the Filipino: submissive, accommodating, and eternally grateful to her husband for rescuing her from the "lower depths". Only a very naïve person with no idea of what he was getting himself into could expect a Russian woman to be submissive and accommodating. No, a Russian woman can be submissive if she needs something from a man - for instance, to get him to marry her. But once the happy event has taken place, her priorities will change. Thereґs an anecdote that illustrates this situation perfectly: a woman visits a man for the first time, they spend a lyrical night together, and when they wake up she says: "Now, weґll put the couch over there."

Strangely enough, many foreign men who have been burned by their Russian wives do not give up hope and return to the sites that can help them meet another Russian bride. Evidently, they donґt get enough of an adrenaline rush from their day-to-day lives at home. For men like that we have good news. Roughly 25% of Russian women dream of finding happiness with a foreigner. True, all of these women are "aged 55 and up". But since when is age a hindrance to real happiness?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The above article is one pathetic piece of journalism.

Offline Voyager

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"about a fourth of Russian women still dream of happiness with a foreigner.

True, all of these women are aged 55 and up."

 :-\




 :coffeeread:

Offline RG

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Heh!  Thanks, Tom.   tiphat
The SuperJob website is targeted at professional job searches, from the looks of it, much in Moscow and tech related, so presumably the relatively youngish, "upward moving" professionals.  One site ranks it as #50 in popularity in Russia.

I would say it's highly likely their numbers may be skewed a bit towards careerist types on the young side, no?

Offline Donhollio

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 You guys have it all wrong, those girls really wanna try their luck with a Canuck !   :canada:

Offline TomT

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I would say it's highly likely their numbers may be skewed a bit towards careerist types on the young side, no?

It's very clear that Svetlana checked survey after survey until she came across one that supported her prejudices.

Offline BelleZeBoob

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It seems to me that the topic header misses two key words from the article heading. The key words here are 'blindly desire'.

I agree that many would prefer local men. But hey, there is a huge competition for relatively few eligible male group. RW would probably not hesitate to compete even for the married RM, therefore a number of married women have to compete for their men during their whole life. Goinf for WM would increase chances.

The group of older women have no other chances. As it has been pointed out, Russia is the country with blooming age discrimination. The older people, even if they are in top form and health, find themselves as social outcasts.

Tom, thanks for posting! a great article.
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Women are like Wi-Fi: she sees all available devices, but connects to the strongest one.

Offline Stirlitz

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Men Thinking With the Wrong Head
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2010, 12:38:05 AM »
I feel that indeed fewer women are interested in foreigners but it is mainly younger women. Life is not that hard now and many parents are able to provide a decent way of life for daughters so they are not desperate to escape from hunger and poverty. The problem with foreign men is most of them want very young women (in their early twenties). Very few agree to meet women in their 30s and no one wants to talk to women aged 40 and over. Even 60 y.o.'s! In the meantime there are lots of women who still look great and are really interested in marriage, not just having fun like 20 y.o.'s or a mule to take her abroad. So if some men review their approach they will find many more women interested in them. I would add that women older than 30 are much more eligible for marriage and ‘accommodating’ and chances are they will stay with you forever.
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Offline TomT

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Belle,

Svetlana's contention that older women are interested in foreign men was probably mockery of men "aged 55 and up" who are only interested in twenty-year-olds. If she was being serious, then she is a fool. It beggars belief that a substantial number of women over 55 would have any interest in immigration, even in the unlikely event that men were willing to sponsor them.


We can take the following statistics for what they are worth but there is an interesting trend:

20s  9174 profiles
30s  6350 profiles
40s  1524 profiles
50+  142 profiles

Source: bride.ru  


p.s.

Nessi admires you and would love to meet you after you and she are settled and she gets her travel documents.

Offline kievstar

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I remember a poll in Ukraine about 2 years ago when I lived there that said 10% of marriage age women were open to a foreign man but would consider a local man as well.  Russian men were considered local men in the poll for Ukraine women.  Many single expats work in Ukraine and get married.  Many men visit Ukraine and get married.  Nothing has changed except the media looking for different stories to write - which is not really a change.




Offline Ward_Cleaver

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The above article is one pathetic piece of journalism.

Thanks a ton for all of your insight here Tom.  Very valuable perspective.

Offline BelleZeBoob

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  Many single expats work in Ukraine and get married.  


I allowed myself to quote this sentence. Not only single expats.

Most of the WM who was in my professional circles since 1990x were the expat corporate executives and experts on business assignments. Rather few of them were single, the most part were married. Months after their arrival, divorces followed on their side, and on the side of some Russian female colleagues of them ;) Many are married together to date, as far as I know.

To me it starts looking like getting an assignment to Russia means for a Western lady losing her husband to her Russian sister. I witnessed such cases, and can relate to WW in this respect. She just cannot stand the competition. Male minds get blown in Moscow...

p.s. TomT, I am really touched, please tell Nessi my most cordial hello.

Belle,

Svetlana's contention that older women are interested in foreign men was probably mockery of men "aged 55 and up" who are only interested in twenty-year-olds. If she was being serious, then she is a fool. It beggars belief that a substantial number of women over 55 would have any interest in immigration, even in the unlikely event that men were willing to sponsor them.


We can take the following statistics for what they are worth but there is an interesting trend:

20s  9174 profiles
30s  6350 profiles
40s  1524 profiles
50+  142 profiles

Source: bride.ru 


p.s.

Nessi admires you and would love to meet you after you and she are settled and she gets her travel documents.

To me it seems that this statistics reflects general activity and life ambitions among particular age groups in Russia. As you have probably read on another forum, Russians believe that 'Russia is for young people only', which means that youth - and youth may mean different ages ;) - would be considered as the only time in life that is worth something, and when the youth is over, a person is nothing but human garbage. Many think that there is no life after youth. Therefore, a number of people believe that after 30-40, they are somehow dead if not as personality, then sexually for sure  :sick0012:, and surprisingly, some are indeed right about themselves in that!

p.s. TomT, I am really touched, please tell Nessi my most cordial hello.
Men are like Bluetooth: he is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away.
Women are like Wi-Fi: she sees all available devices, but connects to the strongest one.


 

 

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